"He is coming! He is coming up here," Charles muttered, aghast. "Well, it is his right. He waited till the others went out so that he can rave4 and storm to his heart's content. Yes, he is coming. He has heard about the club, and all the rest. This time he will kick me out. He has stood me long enough, in God's name."
Charles sat erect5 and adjusted his dressing-gown with nervous hands. The step was now near. The top of the flight of stairs was almost reached. Charles stood up as a gentle rap was sounded on the door.
"Come in," he called out, his husky voice cracking in his parched6 throat. The door was slowly opened and William Browne, pale, haggard, and trembling nervously7, entered.
"Sit down, old man," Charles said, indicating a chair. "Sit down. I thought you'd come."
"Thank you." The movement toward the chair conveyed an idea of almost helpless groping.
"I am sorry I wasn't fit to come down," Charles faltered8. "I don't show your house much respect, Billy, but at least I can hide myself when I have sense enough left."
The banker groaned9 as he sank into the chair and sat staring at the floor. His brother took another chair close to the table. He lowered his tangled10 head to the table and waited. But no further sound came from his companion.
"Oh, I've hit him hard—I've hit him hard this time!" Charles thought to himself. "He has lost all hope of me now. It is hard for him to say what he has to say, but he is going to say it. He looks like Uncle James now, with those grim lines about his mouth. Poor Billy! he deserves a better deal from me, for God knows he has been a good brother. No one else would have borne with me as he has all these years. But he has reached his limit. His endurance is ended. In the first place, I must leave the bank. Yes, that is first—then, then, yes, I must leave this house. He will say I have turned it into a hog-pen. He is calm. God! how calm he is! He is choosing his words. He has determined11 to speak gently. I can see that."
"Lessie and Ruth have gone out," William presently said, without raising his eyes. "Michael said you were here, and I took this opportunity to—to—"
"I know; I expected you," Charles heard his own voice as from a great distance, so faint was his utterance12. He cleared his throat. "Yes, I knew you'd come. There was nothing else for you to do."
William's head rocked to and fro despondently13.
"I don't think you know why I've come," he said, grimly, and he raised his all but bloodshot eyes and fixed14 them on his brother's lowered head.
"Oh yes, you have heard of this last debauch15 of mine, and the damnable acts that went with it—my expulsion from the club, the trial at the police court, along with other common loafers, and—"
"I hardly know whether I heard of them or not," William said, his stare now on his brother's face. "You speak of yourself. What about me? My God! Charlie, what about me?"
"Oh, I know that you've gone the limit."
"Gone the limit? Then you know," William broke in, his lower lip hanging helplessly from his gleaming teeth. "You know about me—but how could you know? It is my own private matter, and—"
"I know that your patience is exhausted16, Billy. I know that you are sensible enough to see that I am no fit occupant of your house. Your wife is a sensitive, delicate woman. Your child is—"
"Oh, that is what you think I mean!" William broke in. "Great God! you think that I am worried about that! Listen to me, Charlie. You sit there accusing yourself, perhaps feeling that you have committed unpardonable sins, but look straight at me. As God is my judge, I'd be the happiest man alive if I could exchange places with you this morning. You have done this, and you have done that, but you have been honest—honest—honest—honest! I've seen you tried. I've seen you need money badly, but you have never touched a penny that was not your own. Charlie, I am a thief!"
Charles straightened up in his chair. He laid his slender hand with the long fingers and curving nails on the table and stared, as if bewildered by what he had heard.
"I don't know what you mean, Billy," he said, slowly shaking his head. "You can't be in earnest."
"But I am," the banker groaned. "I have wanted to tell you for a week past, and I would have done so if you hadn't begun to drink again. Do you remember when I came to your desk Friday afternoon? I wanted then to ask you into my office, but I saw you had been drinking, and I knew that you'd not understand. I've taken money from the vaults17, Charlie. I'm short sixty thousand dollars, and there is no chance now to avoid detection."
It was as if the declaration had completely sobered the younger man. He rose to his feet, towering above the shrunken form in the chair.
"You can't mean that seriously," he faltered, his drink-flushed face paling. "Oh, you can't, Billy!"
"But I do. My transactions have been secret; through a broker18 in New York I bought copper19 on a margin20. It kept going against me till all my funds and available collateral21 were used up. I was sure it would win. All hell told me it would win. I couldn't stand the disgrace of failure. It meant losing my position, too. I struggled with it all one night in the bank, and the next morning, when the time-lock opened the vaults, I took the money and, with it in my pocket, I went to New York and put it up."
"You did? You did? My God! Billy, and lost it!"
"Within twenty-four hours. Charlie, you have been a drunkard, but your soul has remained clean. But I'm lost—I'm lost. I'll be sent to jail. My wife will shrink in shame from the public gaze. My child will grow up to see that I have set her, by my own act, into a despised class. Great God! that little trusting thing will have to bear my just punishment! So—so you thought I'd come here to reproach you, eh? You say you have been turned out of a club. I am being turned into a prison. Charlie, I was a coward when I took that money. I am a coward now, and I cannot face this thing. You must not object to what I have to do. It is dishonorable, but it is more honorable than the other."
"You don't mean—you can't mean—"
"There is nothing else to do, Charlie. Don't you see that in this way it will be all over at once? Think of the arrest, the long trial, the certain conviction, the parting, the stripes, the clipped hair! No, no, you must not oppose me. Ruth will forget me then, but, alive and in jail, I'd be a canker on her young soul. Lessie could marry again. God knows I'd want her to do so. Yes, it is the only way out, Charlie."
The drunkard seemed a drunkard no longer. He might have been an impassioned young priest full of a holy desire to comfort as he stood before the wilted22 man and clasped his hands. He knelt at his brother's knees, he caught the tense fingers in his.
"You shall not kill yourself!" he cried. "God will show you a way to avoid it. I feel it within me. There must be a way—there must!"
"There is no other way!" William groaned. "I've thought of everything under heaven till I'm crazed with it all." He stood up. He put his limp arm about the shoulders of his brother.
"Will it be known at once? Do the directors suspect?" Charles asked.
"Not yet, but you know the bank examiner will be here Thursday. It can't be kept from him. If I were unmolested for three months I could replace the money. I'm sure more than that amount will come out of the Western mining lands I hold. The sale is made, and only a legal technicality holds back the final settlement."
"Ah, then if you confessed the truth to the directors, and promised to replace the money, would they—"
"They would send me to jail, just the same," William answered. "They are that sort, every man of them. In their eyes a man who will steal once will steal again, and they may be right—they may be right."
"Nevertheless, you must not think of—the—the other thing, Billy. For God's sake, don't!" Charles pleaded.
"What else can I do?" William swayed in his brother's embrace and turned toward the door. Charles released him, and stood speechless in sheer helplessness as his brother stalked to the door, opened it, and went slowly down the stairs.
Left alone, the younger man turned to a window and stood staring blankly out into the sunshine. Presently he went to the bureau, opened a drawer, and took out the flask23 of whisky. Taking a glass, he poured some of the fluid out and then stood staring at it in surprise. A strange thing had happened. It was like a miracle, and yet psychologists have said that it belongs to the regular order of nature. Charles was conscious of no desire for the drink before him; in fact, he was averse24 to it. He was under the sway of a high spiritual emotion, which the thing in his hand seemed vaguely25 to oppose. He marveled over the change in himself as he held the glass up to the light.
"I'm asking poor Billy to be a man," he said, "while I am less than one myself. Strange! strange!" he muttered, wonderingly, "but I feel as if I shall never drink again—never, never!" With a hand that was quite steady he took the glass to the window and emptied its contents on the grass in the little plot below. Then he began to shave himself, and after that was done he dressed himself carefully.
The church-bells were ringing.
"Oh, I must save him—I must save them all!" he kept saying. "Something must be done. But what?"
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收听单词发音
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1
pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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2
stifled
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| （使）窒息， （使）窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 )； 镇压，遏制； 堵 | |
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3
groan
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| vi./n.呻吟，抱怨；(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
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rave
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| vi.胡言乱语；热衷谈论；n.热情赞扬 | |
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5
erect
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| n./v.树立，建立，使竖立；adj.直立的，垂直的 | |
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6
parched
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| adj.焦干的；极渴的；v.（使）焦干 | |
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7
nervously
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| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
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8
faltered
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| （嗓音）颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 )； 支吾其词； 蹒跚； 摇晃 | |
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9
groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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10
tangled
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| adj. 纠缠的，紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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11
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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12
utterance
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| n.用言语表达，话语，言语 | |
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13
despondently
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| adv.沮丧地，意志消沉地 | |
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14
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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15
debauch
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| v.使堕落，放纵 | |
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16
exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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17
vaults
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| n.拱顶( vault的名词复数 )；地下室；撑物跳高；墓穴 | |
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18
broker
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| n.中间人，经纪人；v.作为中间人来安排 | |
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19
copper
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| n.铜；铜币；铜器；adj.铜(制)的；(紫)铜色的 | |
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margin
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| n.页边空白；差额；余地，余裕；边，边缘 | |
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21
collateral
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| adj.平行的；旁系的；n.担保品 | |
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22
wilted
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| （使）凋谢，枯萎( wilt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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23
flask
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| n.瓶，火药筒，砂箱 | |
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24
averse
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| adj.厌恶的；反对的，不乐意的 | |
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vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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