NECESSARY meditations1 on the actual, including the mean bread-and-cheese question, dissipated the phantasmal for a while, and compelled Jude to smother2 high thinkings under immediate3 needs. He had to get up, and seek for work, manual work; the only kind deemed by many of its professors to be work at all.
Passing out into the streets on this errand he found that the colleges had treacherously4 changed their sympathetic countenances5: some were pompous6; some had put on the look of family vaults7 above ground; something barbaric loomed8 in the masonries of all. The spirits of the great men had disappeared.
The numberless architectural pages around him he read, naturally, less as an artist-critic of their forms than as an artizan and comrade of the dead handicraftsmen whose muscles had actually executed those forms. He examined the mouldings, stroked them as one who knew their beginning, said they were difficult or easy in the working, had taken little or much time, were trying to the arm, or convenient to the tool.
What at night had been perfect and ideal was by day the more or less defective9 real. Cruelties, insults, had, he perceived, been inflicted10 on the aged11 erections. The condition of several moved him as he would have been moved by maimed sentient12 beings. They were wounded, broken, sloughing13 off their outer shape in the deadly struggle against years, weather, and man.
The rottenness of these historical documents reminded him that he was not, after all, hastening on to begin the morning practically as he had intended. He had come to work, and to live by work, and the morning had nearly gone. It was, in one sense, encouraging to think that in a place of crumbling14 stones there must be plenty for one of his trade to do in the business of renovation15. He asked his way to the workyard of the stone-mason whose name had been given him at Alfredston; and soon heard the familiar sound of the rubbers and chisels16.
The yard was a little centre of regeneration. Here, with keen edges and smooth curves, were forms in the exact likeness17 of those he had seen abraded18 and time-eaten on the walls. These were the ideas in modern prose which the lichened19 colleges presented in old poetry. Even some of those antiques might have been called prose when they were new. They had done nothing but wait, and had become poetical20. How easy to the smallest building; how impossible to most men.
He asked for the foreman, and looked round among the new traceries, mullions, transoms, shafts21, pinnacles22, and battlements standing23 on the bankers half worked, or waiting to be removed. They were marked by precision, mathematical straightness, smoothness, exactitude: there in the old walls were the broken lines of the original idea; jagged curves, disdain24 of precision, irregularity, disarray25.
For a moment there fell on Jude a true illumination; that here in the stone yard was a centre of effort as worthy26 as that dignified27 by the name of scholarly study within the noblest of the colleges. But he lost it under stress of his old idea. He would accept any employment which might be offered him on the strength of his late employer's recommendation; but he would accept it as a provisional thing only. This was his form of the modern vice28 of unrest.
Moreover he perceived that at best only copying, patching and imitating went on here; which he fancied to be owing to some temporary and local cause. He did not at that time see that mediaevalism was as dead as a fern-leaf in a lump of coal; that other developments were shaping in the world around him, in which Gothic architecture and its associations had no place. The deadly animosity of contemporary logic29 and vision towards so much of what he held in reverence30 was not yet revealed to him.
Having failed to obtain work here as yet he went away, and thought again of his cousin, whose presence somewhere at hand he seemed to feel in wavelets of interest, if not of emotion. How he wished he had that pretty portrait of her! At last he wrote to his aunt to send it. She did so, with a request, however, that he was not to bring disturbance31 into the family by going to see the girl or her relations. Jude, a ridiculously affectionate fellow, promised nothing, put the photograph on the mantel-piece, kissed it--he did not know why--and felt more at home. She seemed to look down and preside over his tea. It was cheering--the one thing uniting him to the emotions of the living city.
There remained the schoolmaster--probably now a reverend parson. But he could not possibly hunt up such a respectable man just yet; so raw and unpolished was his condition, so precarious32 were his fortunes. Thus he still remained in loneliness. Although people moved round him he virtually saw none. Not as yet having mingled33 with the active life of the place it was largely non-existent to him. But the saints and prophets in the window-tracery, the paintings in the galleries, the statues, the busts34, the gargoyles35, the corbel-heads--these seemed to breathe his atmosphere. Like all new comers to a spot on which the past is deeply graven he heard that past announcing itself with an emphasis altogether unsuspected by, and even incredible to, the habitual36 residents.
For many days he haunted the cloisters37 and quadrangles of the colleges at odd minutes in passing them, surprised by impish echoes of his own footsteps, smart as the blows of a mallet38. The Christminster "sentiment," as it had been called, ate further and further into him; till he probably knew more about those buildings materially, artistically39, and historically, than any one of their inmates40.
It was not till now, when he found himself actually on the spot of his enthusiasm, that Jude perceived how far away from the object of that enthusiasm he really was. Only a wall divided him from those happy young contemporaries of his with whom he shared a common mental life; men who had nothing to do from morning till night but to read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest. Only a wall-- but what a wall!
Every day, every hour, as he went in search of labour, he saw them going and coming also, rubbed shoulders with them, heard their voices, marked their movements. The conversation of some of the more thoughtful among them seemed oftentimes, owing to his long and persistent41 preparation for this place, to be peculiarly akin42 to his own thoughts. Yet he was as far from them as if he had been at the antipodes. Of course he was. He was a young workman in a white blouse, and with stone-dust in the creases43 of his clothes; and in passing him they did not even see him, or hear him, rather saw through him as through a pane44 of glass at their familiars beyond. Whatever they were to him, he to them was not on the spot at all; and yet he had fancied he would be close to their lives by coming there.
But the future lay ahead after all; and if he could only be so fortunate as to get into good employment he would put up with the inevitable45. So he thanked God for his health and strength, and took courage. For the present he was outside the gates of everything, colleges included: perhaps some day he would be inside. Those palaces of light and leading; he might some day look down on the world through their panes46.
At length he did receive a message from the stone-mason's yard-- that a job was waiting for him. It was his first encouragement, and he closed with the offer promptly47.
He was young and strong, or he never could have executed with such zest48 the undertakings49 to which he now applied50 himself, since they involved reading most of the night after working all the day. First he bought a shaded lamp for four and six-pence, and obtained a good light. Then he got pens, paper, and such other necessary books as he had been unable to obtain elsewhere. Then, to the consternation51 of his landlady52, he shifted all the furniture of his room--a single one for living and sleeping--rigged up a curtain on a rope across the middle, to make a double chamber53 out of one, hung up a thick blind that no-body should know how he was curtailing54 the hours of sleep, laid out his books, and sat down.
Having been deeply encumbered55 by marrying, getting a cottage, and buying the furniture which had disappeared in the wake of his wife, he had never been able to save any money since the time of those disastrous56 ventures, and till his wages began to come in he was obliged to live in the narrowest way. After buying a book or two he could not even afford himself a fire; and when the nights reeked57 with the raw and cold air from the Meadows he sat over his lamp in a great-coat, hat, and woollen gloves.
From his window he could perceive the spire58 of the cathedral, and the ogee dome59 under which resounded60 the great bell of the city. The tall tower, tall belfry windows, and tall pinnacles of the college by the bridge he could also get a glimpse of by going to the staircase. These objects he used as stimulants61 when his faith in the future was dim.
Like enthusiasts62 in general he made no inquiries63 into details of procedure. Picking up general notions from casual acquaintance, he never dwelt upon them. For the present, he said to himself, the one thing necessary was to get ready by accumulating money and knowledge, and await whatever chances were afforded to such an one of becoming a son of the University. "For wisdom is a defence, and money is a defence; but the excellency of knowledge is, that wisdom giveth life to them that have it." His desire absorbed him, and left no part of him to weigh its practicability.
At this time he received a nervously64 anxious letter from his poor old aunt, on the subject which had previously65 distressed66 her-- a fear that Jude would not be strong-minded enough to keep away from his cousin Sue Bridehead and her relations. Sue's father, his aunt believed, had gone back to London, but the girl remained at Christminster. To make her still more objectionable she was an artist or designer of some sort in what was called an ecclesiastical warehouse67, which was a perfect seed-bed of idolatry, and she was no doubt abandoned to mummeries on that account--if not quite a Papist. (Miss Drusilla Fawley was of her date, Evangelical.)
As Jude was rather on an intellectual track than a theological, this news of Sue's probable opinions did not much influence him one way or the other, but the clue to her whereabouts was decidedly interesting. With an altogether singular pleasure he walked at his earliest spare minutes past the shops answering to his great-aunt's description; and beheld68 in one of them a young girl sitting behind a desk, who was suspiciously like the original of the portrait. He ventured to enter on a trivial errand, and having made his purchase lingered on the scene. The shop seemed to be kept entirely69 by women. It contained Anglican books, stationery70, texts, and fancy goods: little plaster angels on brackets, Gothic-framed pictures of saints, ebony crosses that were almost crucifixes, prayer-books that were almost missals. He felt very shy of looking at the girl in the desk; she was so pretty that he could not believe it possible that she should belong to him. Then she spoke71 to one of the two older women behind the counter; and he recognized in the accents certain qualities of his own voice; softened72 and sweetened, but his own. What was she doing? He stole a glance round. Before her lay a piece of zinc73, cut to the shape of a scroll74 three or four feet long, and coated with a dead-surface paint on one side. Hereon she was designing or illuminating75, in characters of Church text, the single word
A L L E L U J H
"A sweet, saintly, Christian76 business, hers!" thought he.
Her presence here was now fairly enough explained, her skill in work of this sort having no doubt been acquired from her father's occupation as an ecclesiastical worker in metal. The lettering on which she was engaged was clearly intended to be fixed77 up in some chancel to assist devotion.
He came out. It would have been easy to speak to her there and then, but it seemed scarcely honourable78 towards his aunt to disregard her request so incontinently. She had used him roughly, but she had brought him up: and the fact of her being powerless to control him lent a pathetic force to a wish that would have been inoperative as an argument.
So Jude gave no sign. He would not call upon Sue just yet. He had other reasons against doing so when he had walked away. She seemed so dainty beside himself in his rough working-jacket and dusty trousers that he felt he was as yet unready to encounter her, as he had felt about Mr. Phillotson. And how possible it was that she had inherited the antipathies79 of her family, and would scorn him, as far as a Christian could, particularly when he had told her that unpleasant part of his history which had resulted in his becoming enchained to one of her own sex whom she would certainly not admire.
Thus he kept watch over her, and liked to feel she was there. The consciousness of her living presence stimulated80 him. But she remained more or less an ideal character, about whose form he began to weave curious and fantastic day-dreams.
Between two and three weeks afterwards Jude was engaged with some more men, outside Crozier College in Old-time Street, in getting a block of worked freestone from a waggon81 across the pavement, before hoisting82 it to the parapet which they were repairing. Standing in position the head man said, "Spaik when he heave! He-ho!" And they heaved.
All of a sudden, as he lifted, his cousin stood close to his elbow, pausing a moment on the bend of her foot till the obstructing83 object should have been removed. She looked right into his face with liquid, untranslatable eyes, that combined, or seemed to him to combine, keenness with tenderness, and mystery with both, their expression, as well as that of her lips, taking its life from some words just spoken to a companion, and being carried on into his face quite unconsciously. She no more observed his presence than that of the dust-motes which his manipulations raised into the sunbeams.
His closeness to her was so suggestive that he trembled, and turned his face away with a shy instinct to prevent her recognizing him, though as she had never once seen him she could not possibly do so; and might very well never have heard even his name. He could perceive that though she was a country-girl at bottom, a latter girlhood of some years in London, and a womanhood here, had taken all rawness out of her.
When she was gone he continued his work, reflecting on her. He had been so caught by her influence that he had taken no count of her general mould and build. He remembered now that she was not a large figure, that she was light and slight, of the type dubbed84 elegant. That was about all he had seen. There was nothing statuesque in her; all was nervous motion. She was mobile, living, yet a painter might not have called her handsome or beautiful. But the much that she was surprised him. She was quite a long way removed from the rusticity85 that was his. How could one of his cross-grained, unfortunate, almost accursed stock, have contrived86 to reach this pitch of niceness? London had done it, he supposed.
From this moment the emotion which had been accumulating in his breast as the bottled-up effect of solitude87 and the poetized locality he dwelt in, insensibly began to precipitate88 itself on this half-visionary form; and he perceived that, whatever his obedient wish in a contrary direction, he would soon be unable to resist the desire to make himself known to her.
He affected89 to think of her quite in a family way, since there were crushing reasons why he should not and could not think of her in any other.
The first reason was that he was married, and it would be wrong. The second was that they were cousins. It was not well for cousins to fall in love even when circumstances seemed to favour the passion. The third: even were he free, in a family like his own where marriage usually meant a tragic90 sadness, marriage with a blood-relation would duplicate the adverse91 conditions, and a tragic sadness might be intensified92 to a tragic horror.
Therefore, again, he would have to think of Sue with only a relation's mutual93 interest in one belonging to him; regard her in a practical way as some one to be proud of; to talk and nod to; later on, to be invited to tea by, the emotion spent on her being rigorously that of a kinsman94 and well-wisher. So would she be to him a kindly95 star, an elevating power, a companion in Anglican worship, a tender friend
实际生活问题，包括最起码的吃饱肚子的问题，暂时驱散了裘德夜来鬼魂出没的幻觉，迫使他不能不好好考虑眼前的迫切需要，高尚思想也只好束之高阁。他得马上起床，想办法找力气活干，很多老手艺人认为他们要干只有这类活儿好干。
他带着这个打算上了街，没想到那会儿一个个学院心怀叵测地变掉了同情的面孔：有些神情据傲，自命不凡；有些阴森森，好比世家大族祖茔的墓穴冒到地上；所有石头造的东西的神态都是粗野蛮横。倒是伟大人物的魂灵一个不见了。
他周围数不清的建筑都是由过世的匠人花了大力气，凭着好手艺，才使设计的图纸得以变为实物的，他看的时候自然而然地用工匠和同道的眼光，而不是站在艺术家 ——批评家的角度。他仔细审视一件件造型，抚摸它们，因为他深知制作它们的始末，讲得出来做的时候是难还是易，费工多还是费工少，胳膊累得酸还是工具用起来顺手。
夜晚看起来形态完美、合乎理想的东西，大白天一看就成了多多少少有缺陷的实在之物。他看得出来，那些年深日久的建筑遭到了怎样的虐害和凌辱。有几件作品，其状之惨不免令他心酸，而他每逢看到有感觉的活物受到残害总有这样的感受。它们曾同岁月、气候和人进行过殊死的搏斗，因此受了伤，破了相，伤痕累累，再也不是本来面目了。
看着看着那些历史纪录的衰残颓败，他猛然想起自己没有好好抓紧时间，利用这个上午按原来想好的目标去办切实有用的事。他先得找活儿干，有活儿干才有日子过呀，但是大半个上午就这么白白过去了。不过这地方既然到处是破破烂烂的石头，那就不愁没有大量的修旧换新的活儿给他这行人干，他往这方面一想，就打起精神来了。原来在阿尔夫瑞顿时候，人家已经把这地方的石匠作坊的名字告诉他，他就向人打听怎么个走法，没多会儿，他就听见了熟悉的錾石头、磨石头的声音。
作坊是个既整旧又成新的小小中心。先前他看见的石头作品都是饱经岁月侵蚀残损了的，这会儿在作坊里又看见同它们一样的整体逼真的仿造物，边角分明，曲线圆活。它们给人的观感是以散文形式表现的，而苔痕斑驳的学院墙壁所展示的则是古代的诗歌。在那些古董中间，有些当初簇簇新时候，也不妨以散文视之；它们以前无所事事，老是傻等着，熬到后来就具备诗意了。顶小的建筑带上诗意非常容易，不过就人而论，大多数可难得熬出来诗意。
他要找掌班的，同时在花格窗、直棂窗、横档、柱身、尖塔、垛堞中间来回浏览。没完工的活计还放在工作台上，完了工的等着运走。它们以精确、数学意味的明快、光洁、严整为鲜明的特色，反观原来创意所在的旧墙壁上，只剩下破碎的线条：曲线变异，精度荡然，图形走样、层次失调。
一刹那间裘德感受到一道启示真理的光芒：眼前这石场不正是多少辈人心血集中的地方吗？论价值，何尝比高贵的学院里备受尊崇的所谓学术研究有半分逊色，怎奈他那些陈旧观点已经积重难返，所以对这样的启示也就失之交臂了。他以前的雇主曾为他大力举荐，不论人家这会儿给他什么活儿干，他都会接下来，不过他接下来也还是当临时过渡。这就是他身上表现出来的现代特有的内心扰攘。见异思迁的毛病。
不但如此，他已经看明白这个作坊充其量无非是复制、修整和仿造；他猜想这种情形缘于当地的某些临时需要。他这会儿还不理解中世纪精神如同煤堆里一片羊齿植物的叶子，已经没有生命了。而与此不同的发展正在他置身其中的世界成熟，哥特式建筑艺术以及与之相关的东西没了立足之地。对于他以诚敬之心虔信不渝的那么多玩意儿，当代逻辑与想象怀有势不两立的仇恨，而他到这会儿还没摸到一点门径呢。
既然他还不能一下子就在这个作坊找到活儿干，他也就出来了，这时却想到那位表亲。就算他不是情动于中吧，也算得兴之所趋，他似乎默默感知她就在什么切近的地方。他多想得到她那张漂亮相片啊！最后他还是写信给姑婆，恳求她把相片寄来。她答应是答应了，不过附带一个要求：他万万不可去看望姑娘和她的亲属，免得把人家扰得鸡犬不宁。裘德为人本来敬老爱幼到了可笑的程度，这一回他可没答应。他把相片放在壁炉搁板上，亲了它（他也说不出道理），心里觉着自在多了。她仿佛在那儿朝下看，张罗着他用茶点。这件事跟他对这个有活力的城市的感情对上了，真是叫人打心眼儿里高兴啊。
还有老师没见到哪——他这会儿大概成了受人尊敬的教区牧师吧，不过眼下他还不宜去寻访这位有身份的人物。他样子多粗鲁不文，难登大雅之堂啊，何况他日子还过得朝不保夕呢，所以他还是一个人寂寞独处。尽管周围人来人往，其实他等于一个人没看见。既然他没跟当地活跃的生活打成一片，这样的生活对他来说也就不存在。但是花格窗上的圣哲和先知。画廊中的肖像、全身雕像、胸像、喷水兽头、壁架上的头像，很像跟他呼吸着同样空气。他也跟初来乍到某个往事历久不磨的地方那样，老听它喋喋不休地诉说过去。然而当地住惯了的老百姓根本不拿它当回事儿，甚至不信它说的那一套。
有好多天，他反正闲看没事，一走过那些学院，就到里边的回廊和四方院转悠，听到自己脚步的回声就像棒槌敲那么爽脆，不禁为之惊奇。所谓基督堂“情结”越来越深入，泱肌泌髓，以至于后来他对那些建筑的物质方面、历史方面和工艺方面了解之深，恐怕里面住的人没哪个比得上。
到了这时候，他才感到自己脚踏实地置身于热烈向往的地方，同时他也恍然大悟，他的热忱倾注的目标离他实在太远了。就是那么一堵墙，就把他跟那些快乐、年轻的同代人完全隔开了，而他同他们过着的精神生活却初无二致。那些人自晨至夕，整天价别无所事，就是广读，约取，深研，明辨。就那么一堵墙啊——可又是怎样一堵墙啊！
每一天，每一个钟头，他为找活干奔走的时候，他也看到他们来来往往，同他们摩肩而过，听见他们说话，注意他们的举动。因为他来这地方之前经过长期不懈的准备，所以他们中间一些思想较为丰富的人的谈话内容在他是耳熟能详，尤其是思想上同他如出一辙。然而他同他们相距之遥好比他是在地球另一极。这倒也是理所当然啊。他是个穿白大褂、衣服褶子里净是石粉的青年工人嘛。他们从他旁边过去，看都不看他一眼，也不听他说什么。他好像一块玻璃，他们就像透过玻璃瞧那一边的熟人。不论他怎么看待他们，反正他们看他真正是目中无人。然而他以往幻想过他一到这地方，就会跟他们的生活密切接触呢。
不过前程总还是在望啊。要是他运气好，找到份美差，他一定忍受难以避免的磨难，决不气馁。他感谢上帝赐他以结实的身体和充沛的精力，随之鼓起了勇气。眼下固然对什么都望门兴叹，包括学院在内，但是也许有那么一天，他就能升堂入室。就说那些大放光明、领袖群伦的学问宫殿吧，迟早有一天他会在那儿临窗俯瞰人间。
他后来果真收到石作的通知，说有个位子等他去。这让他头一回觉着心强气旺，所以毫不迟疑地接受了这个要求。
他白天干了整天活，晚上还用大半夜读书，满腔热忱，悉力以赴去追求他的事业，要不是他年轻力壮，要这样撑下去是绝对不可能的。他先花四先令六便士买了盏带罩子的灯，这样灯光就足了，又买了笔纸和必不可少的书籍。他又把屋里全部家具挪了地方（其实他活动和睡觉就那么一间），用绳子在墙两头拉起来，上面搭上帘子，一间隔成了两间，还在窗户上挂起厚帘子，晚上谁也看不见他牺牲睡眠，坐下来，摊开书看。房东太太对他屋里的挪动大惑不解。
他以前为成家租房子，置家具，弄得窘迫不堪，到后来妻子远走高飞，那些东西，也就一风吹了。从那回卤莽行事、倒了大霉之后，他压根儿没存过一个子儿，这会儿开始拿工钱了，非得省吃俭用不可。为买一两本书，竟然到了不能举火的地步。到了夜里，阴冷的空气从草场那边袭来，他就把大衣穿上，戴上帽子和毛手套，端坐在灯前。
他打窗户那儿望得见大教堂的塔尖，还有那个双曲拱穹顶，城市大钟在它下面发出宏大声响。走到楼梯平台，还能一瞥河边学院的高塔楼，它的钟楼高官以及高尖塔。每当他对前途的信念发生动摇，他就把这些眼前物当成刺激剂。
他也跟所有凭一股子热劲儿办事的人一样，不去深究如何按部就班去处理细节问题。他固然偶尔也在无意中了解到普通处世之道，但是他根本不放在心上。他对自己说，就眼前而论，他考虑要办的事就是做好存钱和积累知识这两项准备，静待有朝一日能拜受机缘之赐，让他这样的人成为大学学子。“因为智慧护庇人，好像银钱护庇人一样，惟独智慧能保全智慧人的生命。”他现在全神贯注在自己的愿望上，以致匀不出心思来仔细掂量一下这愿望究竟有几分实现的可能。
恰好这时候可怜的姑婆来了一封信，她心神不定，焦虑重重，谈到她以前为之深感苦恼的题目，也就是她非常担心裘德意志不坚，免不了同他的表姊妹苏·柏瑞和和她的家人发生瓜葛。苏的父亲回伦敦去了，不过姑娘还留在基督堂。令姑婆尤为反感的是，姑娘在一家所谓教会圣器店，充当什么工艺师或设计师一类，那地方是个十足的偶像崇拜的温床，毫无疑问，因为这样的身份，她已经放弃了原来的信仰，就算没当纯粹的教皇派，也是在装腔作势来套表演罢了（多喜·福来小姐随风转，是福音派）。
裘德的职志在求知，神学的事不大在意，所以苏在信仰方面可能有什么倾向，对他并无影响，倒是这个有关她本人的线索令他大感兴趣，乐不可支。等到他头一回有空，他就照姑婆信里的形容，满心高兴地一意去寻找那大略仿佛的铺子。在一家他窥见里面有位年轻姑娘坐在书桌旁边，样子叫人疑惑就是相片本人。他乍着胆子进了铺子，买了点小东西之后故意赖着不走。铺子似乎完全由妇女经营，品种有英国国教的图书、文具纸张和杂七杂八的小玩意儿，像配了座子的石膏小天使，嵌在哥特式镜框里的圣人像、跟受难十字架差不多一样的乌木十字架、跟弥撒书差不到哪儿去的公祷书。他不大好意思直看书桌边的姑娘；她那么俏丽，他才不相信她会成他的人呢。正好她跟柜台后面两个年长些的妇女说话，听得出来她的口音带有他的口音的某些特点；不过经她一说，就显得那么柔和，那么甜润，可这到底是他一样的口音啊。她这会儿忙什么呢？她面前放着一块锌板，裁成三四英尺长的长卷状，一面上了无光漆，她正在上面设计或装饰一个词，用的是国教教会经文常用的字体：
阿里路亚
“多甜美、多圣洁的基督徒行业啊，她就干这个啊！”他心里想。
她人为什么在那儿，现在一下子得到充分的说明了。她干这类活的本事无疑是她当教会金属镌刻工的父亲传给她的。她这会儿制作的字母显然是准备装在圣坛上，以使虔诚的气氛更为浓厚。
他从铺子出来。此时此地，他过去跟她说话不见得有什么不便，不过这样做未免把姑婆的嘱咐完全撤到一边了，未免不够光明磊落，诚然她曾经蛮横地支使过他，不过也是她把他带大呀。她这会儿的确没有管束他的权力了，也因为这样反而勾起了令人感到悲哀的情感力量，从而使姑婆力争此事决不可行的希望得到了支持。
因此裘德当时没做任何表示。眼下他还不准备郑重其事地同她会面。另外还有原因使他不便这样。他身穿粗布上装，裤子上满是尘污，而她却显得那么雅洁，以他这副样子跟她邂逅，实在自惭形秽。他之所以不要跟费乐生先生晤面也是这个道理。很可能她禀赋家里人一脉相承的对异性的嫌恶之心，特别是他一旦告诉她他曾经因为自己痛心的婚史而终于一辈子同一个与她同性别而她又决看不起的人拴在一起，她必定按照一个基督徒该做的那样，对他不齿。
所以他只从旁边留心她，想到她人在那儿，心里就喜欢。在他意识里，她的生动鲜明的存在让他不断兴奋。不过她终归是个多多少少理想化了的人物，因而他开始在她身上编织的是个荒唐无稽的白日梦。
过了两三个礼拜，他同几个工友一块儿在古老街上权杖学院外边，把一块加工好的石头从货车上卸下，先抬过人行道，再举上他们正在修复的护墙。各就各位之后，工头说，“我一喊就举啊！嗨——嗬！”他们跟着喊起来。
他刚往上举，冷不防他表亲正站在他胳膊肘紧边上。她一只脚往后一撤，稍等了一下，好让挡路的东西先移开。她那明如秋水、内蕴深沉的双眸注意看着他，目光里融合着或者他仿佛觉得融合着敏慧和温柔，而敏慧与温柔再融入了神秘，就使眼睛的表情，还有嘴唇的表情，在她向同伴说话那一刻，显得那么有生气，而且在看他时，不经意地把这有生气的表情转向他这边。其实她看他，也不过像看他干活时扬起的灰尘而已。
她靠他如此之近，不禁使他深深感到刺激，以致发起抖来；出于羞怯的本能，他把脸转过去了，免得她把他看清楚：既然她以前压根儿没见过他，所以他以为她要把他看清楚是无从说起的，再说她连他姓字名谁根本没听说过。他看得很明白，她虽然原先是个乡下小姑娘，后来几年在伦敦也还是少女，长大成人来到这地方，可是她已经出落得没乡下人的土气了。
她走了，他接着干活，一边心里琢磨着她。她刚才那会儿对他的影响把他搞晕了，弄得他对她的体态和身材没一点数。他能想得起来的是，她体型并不高大，而是轻盈、苗条，人们常说的优雅型。他所看到的无非这些。她外表不是雕像般娴静，动作带有神经质的意味。她顾盼生光，气韵生动，然而画家不会说她大家风范或明艳照人。不过就是到这个程度已经令他大为惊奇了。拿他一比，她已经脱尽了他身上那样的粗俗鄙陋。怪的是，他那家门一向生性乖戾、命途多舛，几乎神人共弃，怎么会出了这样的凤凰，直逼纯美的高度，他想这该是伦敦陶冶之功吧。
他长期受孤寂的封闭影响，搭上他把现在呆的地方诗化的结果，使他心中积蓄的感情此时如火如茶，也从这一刻起倾注到这个半是由幻觉造成的女性身上。他明知这样跟信守姑婆的再三叮咛背道而驰，可是很快他就没法再克制同她结识的欲望了。
他硬装出来想念她完全是因为一个家门的关系，这是因为有种种不容置辩的理由由不得他再有别的想法，也不该再有别的想法。
第一条理由就是他结过婚，有另外的想法，就是错；第二条，就算环境睁只眼闭只眼，表亲恋爱也于情于理不合；第三条，就算他是自由身，在他们这个家门里，婚姻一向是令人伤痛的悲剧，而有血亲关系的婚姻势必使本已不堪的情况变本加厉，令人伤痛的悲剧就会变成令人恐怖的惨剧了。
所以想来想去，他这方面只好本着亲戚之间彼此共有的好感去想念苏；从实际出发去关注她，把她当成一位值得引以为荣的人，值得相互交谈的人，值得向她打招呼的人。以后呢，就成了接受她邀请去喝茶的人；在她身上用情切切要以愿她事事遂心如意的亲眷之情为限。如此这般，她可能成为他的慈心惠爱的天使，催他发愤图强的力量，圣公会礼拜堂的同契，温良可亲的挚友。
收听单词发音 |
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meditations
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| 默想( meditation的名词复数 )； 默念； 沉思； 冥想 | |
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smother
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| vt./vi.使窒息；抑制；闷死；n.浓烟；窒息 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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treacherously
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| 背信弃义地； 背叛地； 靠不住地； 危险地 | |
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countenances
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| n.面容( countenance的名词复数 )；表情；镇静；道义支持 | |
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pompous
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| adj.傲慢的，自大的；夸大的；豪华的 | |
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vaults
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| n.拱顶( vault的名词复数 )；地下室；撑物跳高；墓穴 | |
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loomed
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| v.隐约出现，阴森地逼近( loom的过去式和过去分词 )；隐约出现，阴森地逼近 | |
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defective
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| adj.有毛病的，有问题的，有瑕疵的 | |
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inflicted
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| 把…强加给，使承受，遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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sentient
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| adj.有知觉的，知悉的；adv.有感觉能力地 | |
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sloughing
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| v.使蜕下或脱落( slough的现在分词 )；舍弃；除掉；摒弃 | |
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crumbling
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| adj.摇摇欲坠的 | |
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renovation
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| n.革新，整修 | |
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chisels
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| n.凿子，錾子( chisel的名词复数 )；口凿 | |
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likeness
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| n.相像，相似（之处） | |
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abraded
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| adj.[医]刮擦的v.刮擦( abrade的过去式和过去分词 )；（在精神方面）折磨（人）；消磨（意志、精神等）；使精疲力尽 | |
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lichened
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| adj.长满地衣的，长青苔的 | |
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poetical
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| adj.似诗人的；诗一般的；韵文的；富有诗意的 | |
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shafts
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| n.轴( shaft的名词复数 )；（箭、高尔夫球棒等的）杆；通风井；一阵（疼痛、害怕等） | |
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pinnacles
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| 顶峰( pinnacle的名词复数 )； 顶点； 尖顶； 小尖塔 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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disdain
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| n.鄙视，轻视；v.轻视，鄙视，不屑 | |
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disarray
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| n.混乱，紊乱，凌乱 | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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dignified
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| a.可敬的，高贵的 | |
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vice
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| n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的 | |
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logic
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| n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性 | |
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reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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disturbance
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| n.动乱，骚动；打扰，干扰；(身心)失调 | |
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precarious
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| adj.不安定的，靠不住的；根据不足的 | |
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mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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busts
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| 半身雕塑像( bust的名词复数 )； 妇女的胸部； 胸围； 突击搜捕 | |
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gargoyles
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| n.怪兽状滴水嘴( gargoyle的名词复数 ) | |
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habitual
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| adj.习惯性的；通常的，惯常的 | |
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cloisters
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| n.（学院、修道院、教堂等建筑的）走廊( cloister的名词复数 )；回廊；修道院的生活；隐居v.隐退，使与世隔绝( cloister的第三人称单数 ) | |
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mallet
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| n.槌棒 | |
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artistically
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| adv.艺术性地 | |
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inmates
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| n.囚犯( inmate的名词复数 ) | |
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persistent
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| adj.坚持不懈的，执意的；持续的 | |
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akin
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| adj.同族的，类似的 | |
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creases
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| （使…）起折痕，弄皱( crease的第三人称单数 )； （皮肤）皱起，使起皱纹 | |
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pane
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| n.窗格玻璃，长方块 | |
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inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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panes
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| 窗玻璃( pane的名词复数 ) | |
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promptly
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| adv.及时地，敏捷地 | |
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zest
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| n.乐趣；滋味，风味；兴趣 | |
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undertakings
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| 企业( undertaking的名词复数 )； 保证； 殡仪业； 任务 | |
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applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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consternation
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| n.大为吃惊，惊骇 | |
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landlady
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| n.女房东，女地主 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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curtailing
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| v.截断，缩短( curtail的现在分词 ) | |
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encumbered
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| v.妨碍，阻碍，拖累( encumber的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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disastrous
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| adj.灾难性的，造成灾害的；极坏的，很糟的 | |
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reeked
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| v.发出浓烈的臭气( reek的过去式和过去分词 )；散发臭气；发出难闻的气味 (of sth)；明显带有（令人不快或生疑的跡象） | |
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spire
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| n.(教堂)尖顶，尖塔，高点 | |
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dome
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| n.圆屋顶，拱顶 | |
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resounded
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| v.（指声音等）回荡于某处( resound的过去式和过去分词 )；产生回响；（指某处）回荡着声音 | |
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stimulants
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| n.兴奋剂( stimulant的名词复数 )；含兴奋剂的饮料；刺激物；激励物 | |
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enthusiasts
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| n.热心人，热衷者( enthusiast的名词复数 ) | |
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inquiries
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| n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 )；疑问；探究；打听 | |
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nervously
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| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
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previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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warehouse
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| n.仓库；vt.存入仓库 | |
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beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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stationery
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| n.文具；(配套的)信笺信封 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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zinc
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| n.锌；vt.在...上镀锌 | |
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scroll
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| n.卷轴，纸卷；(石刻上的)漩涡 | |
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illuminating
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| a.富于启发性的，有助阐明的 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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antipathies
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| 反感( antipathy的名词复数 )； 引起反感的事物； 憎恶的对象； （在本性、倾向等方面的）不相容 | |
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stimulated
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| a.刺激的 | |
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waggon
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| n.运货马车，运货车；敞篷车箱 | |
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hoisting
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| 起重，提升 | |
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obstructing
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| 阻塞( obstruct的现在分词 )； 堵塞； 阻碍； 阻止 | |
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dubbed
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| v.给…起绰号( dub的过去式和过去分词 )；把…称为；配音；复制 | |
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rusticity
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| n.乡村的特点、风格或气息 | |
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contrived
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| adj.不自然的，做作的；虚构的 | |
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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precipitate
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| adj.突如其来的；vt.使突然发生；n.沉淀物 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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tragic
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| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
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adverse
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| adj.不利的；有害的；敌对的，不友好的 | |
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intensified
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| v.（使）增强， （使）加剧( intensify的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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kinsman
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| n.男亲属 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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