Though Mr. Lawrence's health was now quite re-established, my visits to Woodford were as unremitting as ever; though often less protracted1 than before. We seldom talked about Mrs. Huntingdon; but yet we never met without mentioning her, for I never sought his company but with the hope of hearing something about her, and he never sought mine at all, because he saw me often enough without. But I always began to talk of other things, and waited first to see if he would introduce the subject. If he did not, I would casually2 ask, 'Have you heard from your sister lately?' If he said 'No,' the matter was dropped: if he said 'Yes,' I would venture to inquire, 'How is she?' but never 'How is her husband?' though I might be burning to know; because I had not the hypocrisy3 to profess4 any anxiety for his recovery, and I had not the face to express any desire for a contrary result. Had I any such desire? - I fear I must plead guilty; but since you have heard my confession5, you must hear my justification6 as well - a few of the excuses, at least, wherewith I sought to pacify7 my own accusing conscience.
In the first place, you see, his life did harm to others, and evidently no good to himself; and though I wished it to terminate, I would not have hastened its close if, by the lifting of a finger, I could have done so, or if a spirit had whispered in my ear that a single effort of the will would be enough, - unless, indeed, I had the power to exchange him for some other victim of the grave, whose life might be of service to his race, and whose death would be lamented8 by his friends. But was there any harm in wishing that, among the many thousands whose souls would certainly be required of them before the year was over, this wretched mortal might be one? I thought not; and therefore I wished with all my heart that it might please heaven to remove him to a better world, or if that might not be, still to take him out of this; for if he were unfit to answer the summons now, after a warning sickness, and with such an angel by his side, it seemed but too certain that he never would be - that, on the contrary, returning health would bring returning lust9 and villainy, and as he grew more certain of recovery, more accustomed to her generous goodness, his feelings would become more callous10, his heart more flinty and impervious11 to her persuasive12 arguments - but God knew best. Meantime, however, I could not but be anxious for the result of His decrees; knowing, as I did, that (leaving myself entirely13 out of the question), however Helen might feel interested in her husband's welfare, however she might deplore14 his fate, still while he lived she must be miserable15.
A fortnight passed away, and my inquiries16 were always answered in the negative. At length a welcome 'yes' drew from me the second question. Lawrence divined my anxious thoughts, and appreciated my reserve. I feared, at first, he was going to torture me by unsatisfactory replies, and either leave me quite in the dark concerning what I wanted to know, or force me to drag the information out of him, morsel17 by morsel, by direct inquiries. 'And serve you right,' you will say; but he was more merciful; and in a little while he put his sister's letter into my hand. I silently read it, and restored it to him without comment or remark. This mode of procedure suited him so well, that thereafter he always pursued the plan of showing me her letters at once, when 'inquired' after her, if there were any to show - it was so much less trouble than to tell me their contents; and I received such confidences so quietly and discreetly18 that he was never induced to discontinue them.
But I devoured19 those precious letters with my eyes, and never let them go till their contents were stamped upon my mind; and when I got home, the most important passages were entered in my diary among the remarkable20 events of the day.
The first of these communications brought intelligence of a serious relapse in Mr. Huntingdon's illness, entirely the result of his own infatuation in persisting in the indulgence of his appetite for stimulating21 drink. In vain had she remonstrated22, in vain she had mingled23 his wine with water: her arguments and entreaties24 were a nuisance, her interference was an insult so intolerable that, at length, on finding she had covertly25 diluted26 the pale port that was brought him, he threw the bottle out of window, swearing he would not be cheated like a baby, ordered the butler, on pain of instant dismissal, to bring a bottle of the strongest wine in the cellar, and affirming that he should have been well long ago if he had been let to have his own way, but she wanted to keep him weak in order that she might have him under her thumb - but, by the Lord Harry27, he would have no more humbug28 - seized a glass in one hand and the bottle in the other, and never rested till he had drunk it dry. Alarming symptoms were the immediate29 result of this 'imprudence,' as she mildly termed it - symptoms which had rather increased than diminished since; and this was the cause of her delay in writing to her brother. Every former feature of his malady30 had returned with augmented31 virulence32: the slight external wound, half healed, had broken out afresh; internal inflammation had taken place, which might terminate fatally if not soon removed. Of course, the wretched sufferer's temper was not improved by this calamity33 - in fact, I suspect it was well nigh insupportable, though his kind nurse did not complain; but she said she had been obliged at last to give her son in charge to Esther Hargrave, as her presence was so constantly required in the sick-room that she could not possibly attend to him herself; and though the child had begged to be allowed to continue with her there, and to help her to nurse his papa, and though she had no doubt he would have been very good and quiet, she could not think of subjecting his young and tender feelings to the sight of so much suffering, or of allowing him to witness his father's impatience34, or hear the dreadful language he was wont35 to use in his paroxysms of pain or irritation36.
The latter (continued she) most deeply regrets the step that has occasioned his relapse; but, as usual, he throws the blame upon me. If I had reasoned with him like a rational creature, he says, it never would have happened; but to be treated like a baby or a fool was enough to put any man past his patience, and drive him to assert his independence even at the sacrifice of his own interest. He forgets how often I had reasoned him 'past his patience' before. He appears to be sensible of his danger; but nothing can induce him to behold38 it in the proper light. The other night, while I was waiting on him, and just as I had brought him a draught39 to assuage40 his burning thirst, he observed, with a return of his former sarcastic41 bitterness, 'Yes, you're mighty42 attentive43 now! I suppose there's nothing you wouldn't do for me now?'
'You know,' said I, a little surprised at his manner, 'that I am willing to do anything I can to relieve you.'
'Yes, now, my immaculate angel; but when once you have secured your reward, and find yourself safe in heaven, and me howling in hell- fire, catch you lifting a finger to serve me then! No, you'll look complacently44 on, and not so much as dip the tip of your finger in water to cool my tongue!'
'If so, it will be because of the great gulf45 over which I cannot pass; and if I could look complacently on in such a case, it would be only from the assurance that you were being purified from your sins, and fitted to enjoy the happiness I felt. - But are you determined46, Arthur, that I shall not meet you in heaven?'
'Humph! What should I do there, I should like to know?'
'Indeed, I cannot tell; and I fear it is too certain that your tastes and feelings must be widely altered before you can have any enjoyment47 there. But do you prefer sinking, without an effort, into the state of torment48 you picture to yourself?'
'Oh, it's all a fable,' said he, contemptuously.
'Are you sure, Arthur? are you quite sure? Because, if there is any doubt, and if you should find yourself mistaken after all, when it is too late to turn - '
'It would be rather awkward, to be sure,' said he; 'but don't bother me now - I'm not going to die yet. I can't and won't,' he added vehemently49, as if suddenly struck with the appalling50 aspect of that terrible event. 'Helen, you must save me!' And he earnestly seized my hand, and looked into my face with such imploring51 eagerness that my heart bled for him, and I could not speak for tears.
* * * * *
The next letter brought intelligence that the malady was fast increasing; and the poor sufferer's horror of death was still more distressing53 than his impatience of bodily pain. All his friends had not forsaken54 him; for Mr. Hattersley, hearing of his danger, had come to see him from his distant home in the north. His wife had accompanied him, as much for the pleasure of seeing her dear friend, from whom she had been parted so long, as to visit her mother and sister.
Mrs. Huntingdon expressed herself glad to see Milicent once more, and pleased to behold her so happy and well. She is now at the Grove55, continued the letter, but she often calls to see me. Mr. Hattersley spends much of his time at Arthur's bed-side. With more good feeling than I gave him credit for, he evinces considerable sympathy for his unhappy friend, and is far more willing than able to comfort him. Sometimes he tries to joke and laugh with him, but that will not do; sometimes he endeavours to cheer him with talk about old times, and this at one time may serve to divert the sufferer from his own sad thoughts; at another, it will only plunge56 him into deeper melancholy57 than before; and then Hattersley is confounded, and knows not what to say, unless it be a timid suggestion that the clergyman might be sent for. But Arthur will never consent to that: he knows he has rejected the clergyman's well-meant admonitions with scoffing58 levity60 at other times, and cannot dream of turning to him for consolation61 now.
Mr. Hattersley sometimes offers his services instead of mine, but Arthur will not let me go: that strange whim62 still increases, as his strength declines - the fancy to have me always by his side. I hardly ever leave him, except to go into the next room, where I sometimes snatch an hour or so of sleep when he is quiet; but even then the door is left ajar, that he may know me to be within call. I am with him now, while I write, and I fear my occupation annoys him; though I frequently break off to attend to him, and though Mr. Hattersley is also by his side. That gentleman came, as he said, to beg a holiday for me, that I might have a run in the park, this fine frosty morning, with Milicent and Esther and little Arthur, whom he had driven over to see me. Our poor invalid63 evidently felt it a heartless proposition, and would have felt it still more heartless in me to accede64 to it. I therefore said I would only go and speak to them a minute, and then come back. I did but exchange a few words with them, just outside the portico65, inhaling66 the fresh, bracing67 air as I stood, and then, resisting the earnest and eloquent68 entreaties of all three to stay a little longer, and join them in a walk round the garden, I tore myself away and returned to my patient. I had not been absent five minutes, but he reproached me bitterly for my levity and neglect. His friend espoused69 my cause.
'Nay70, nay, Huntingdon,' said he, 'you're too hard upon her; she must have food and sleep, and a mouthful of fresh air now and then, or she can't stand it, I tell you. Look at her, man! she's worn to a shadow already.'
'What are her sufferings to mine?' said the poor invalid. 'You don't grudge71 me these attentions, do you, Helen?'
'No, Arthur, if I could really serve you by them. I would give my life to save you, if I might.'
'Would you, indeed? No!'
'Most willingly I would.'
'Ah! that's because you think yourself more fit to die!'
There was a painful pause. He was evidently plunged72 in gloomy reflections; but while I pondered for something to say that might benefit without alarming him, Hattersley, whose mind had been pursuing almost the same course, broke silence with, 'I say, Huntingdon, I would send for a parson of some sort: if you didn't like the vicar, you know, you could have his curate, or somebody else.'
'No; none of them can benefit me if she can't,' was the answer. And the tears gushed73 from his eyes as he earnestly exclaimed, 'Oh, Helen, if I had listened to you, it never would have come to this! and if I had heard you long ago - oh, God! how different it would have been!'
'Hear me now, then, Arthur,' said I, gently pressing his hand.
'It's too late now,' said he despondingly. And after that another paroxysm of pain came on; and then his mind began to wander, and we feared his death was approaching: but an opiate was administered: his sufferings began to abate74, he gradually became more composed, and at length sank into a kind of slumber75. He has been quieter since; and now Hattersley has left him, expressing a hope that he shall find him better when he calls to-morrow.
'Perhaps I may recover,' he replied; 'who knows? This may have been the crisis. What do you think, Helen?' Unwilling76 to depress him, I gave the most cheering answer I could, but still recommended him to prepare for the possibility of what I inly feared was but too certain. But he was determined to hope. Shortly after he relapsed into a kind of doze77, but now he groans78 again.
There is a change. Suddenly he called me to his side, with such a strange, excited manner, that I feared he was delirious79, but he was not. 'That was the crisis, Helen!' said he, delightedly. 'I had an infernal pain here - it is quite gone now. I never was so easy since the fall - quite gone, by heaven!' and he clasped and kissed my hand in the very fulness of his heart; but finding I did not participate his joy, he quickly flung it from him, and bitterly cursed my coldness and insensibility. How could I reply? Kneeling beside him, I took his hand and fondly pressed it to my lips - for the first time since our separation - and told him, as well as tears would let me speak, that it was not that that kept me silent: it was the fear that this sudden cessation of pain was not so favourable80 a symptom as he supposed. I immediately sent for the doctor: we are now anxiously awaiting him. I will tell you what he says. There is still the same freedom from pain, the same deadness to all sensation where the suffering was most acute.
My worst fears are realised: mortification81 has commenced. The doctor has told him there is no hope. No words can describe his anguish82. I can write no more.
* * * * *
The next was still more distressing in the tenor83 of its contents. The sufferer was fast approaching dissolution - dragged almost to the verge84 of that awful chasm85 he trembled to contemplate86, from which no agony of prayers or tears could save him. Nothing could comfort him now; Hattersley's rough attempts at consolation were utterly87 in vain. The world was nothing to him: life and all its interests, its petty cares and transient pleasures, were a cruel mockery. To talk of the past was to torture him with vain remorse88; to refer to the future was to increase his anguish; and yet to be silent was to leave him a prey89 to his own regrets and apprehensions90. Often he dwelt with shuddering91 minuteness on the fate of his perishing clay - the slow, piecemeal92 dissolution already invading his frame: the shroud93, the coffin59, the dark, lonely grave, and all the horrors of corruption94.
'If I try,' said his afflicted95 wife, 'to divert him from these things - to raise his thoughts to higher themes, it is no better:- "Worse and worse!" he groans. "If there be really life beyond the tomb, and judgment96 after death, how can I face it?" - I cannot do him any good; he will neither be enlightened, nor roused, nor comforted by anything I say; and yet he clings to me with unrelenting pertinacity97 - with a kind of childish desperation, as if I could save him from the fate he dreads98. He keeps me night and day beside him. He is holding my left hand now, while I write; he has held it thus for hours: sometimes quietly, with his pale face upturned to mine: sometimes clutching my arm with violence - the big drops starting from his forehead at the thoughts of what he sees, or thinks he sees, before him. If I withdraw my hand for a moment it distresses99 him.
'"Stay with me, Helen," he says; "let me hold you so: it seems as if harm could not reach me while you are here. But death will come - it is coming now - fast, fast! - and - oh, if I could believe there was nothing after!"
'"Don't try to believe it, Arthur; there is joy and glory after, if you will but try to reach it!"
'"What, for me?" he said, with something like a laugh. "Are we not to be judged according to the deeds done in the body? Where's the use of a probationary100 existence, if a man may spend it as he pleases, just contrary to God's decrees, and then go to heaven with the best - if the vilest101 sinner may win the reward of the holiest saint, by merely saying, "I repent102!"'
'"But if you sincerely repent - "
'"I can't repent; I only fear."
'"You only regret the past for its consequences to yourself?"
'"Just so - except that I'm sorry to have wronged you, Nell, because you're so good to me."
'"Think of the goodness of God, and you cannot but be grieved to have offended Him."
'"What is God? - I cannot see Him or hear Him. - God is only an idea."
'"God is Infinite Wisdom, and Power, and Goodness - and LOVE; but if this idea is too vast for your human faculties103 - if your mind loses itself in its overwhelming infinitude, fix it on Him who condescended104 to take our nature upon Him, who was raised to heaven even in His glorified105 human body, in whom the fulness of the Godhead shines."
'But he only shook his head and sighed. Then, in another paroxysm of shuddering horror, he tightened106 his grasp on my hand and arm, and, groaning107 and lamenting108, still clung to me with that wild, desperate earnestness so harrowing to my soul, because I know I cannot help him. I did my best to soothe109 and comfort him.
'"Death is so terrible," he cried, "I cannot bear it! You don't know, Helen - you can't imagine what it is, because you haven't it before you! and when I'm buried, you'll return to your old ways and be as happy as ever, and all the world will go on just as busy and merry as if I had never been; while I - " He burst into tears.
'"You needn't let that distress52 you," I said; "we shall all follow you soon enough."
'"I wish to God I could take you with me now!" he exclaimed: "you should plead for me."
'"No man can deliver his brother, nor make agreement unto God for him," I replied: "it cost more to redeem110 their souls - it cost the blood of an incarnate111 God, perfect and sinless in Himself, to redeem us from the bondage112 of the evil one:- let Him plead for you."
'But I seem to speak in vain. He does not now, as formerly113, laugh these blessed truths to scorn: but still he cannot trust, or will not comprehend them. He cannot linger long. He suffers dreadfully, and so do those that wait upon him. But I will not harass114 you with further details: I have said enough, I think, to convince you that I did well to go to him.'
* * * * *
Poor, poor Helen! dreadful indeed her trials must have been! And I could do nothing to lessen115 them - nay, it almost seemed as if I had brought them upon her myself by my own secret desires; and whether I looked at her husband's sufferings or her own, it seemed almost like a judgment upon myself for having cherished such a wish.
The next day but one there came another letter. That too was put into my hands without a remark, and these are its contents:-
Dec. 5th.
He is gone at last. I sat beside him all night, with my hand fast looked in his, watching the changes of his features and listening to his failing breath. He had been silent a long time, and I thought he would never speak again, when he murmured, faintly but distinctly, - 'Pray for me, Helen!'
'I do pray for you, every hour and every minute, Arthur; but you must pray for yourself.'
His lips moved, but emitted no sound; - then his looks became unsettled; and, from the incoherent, half-uttered words that escaped him from time to time, supposing him to be now unconscious, I gently disengaged my hand from his, intending to steal away for a breath of air, for I was almost ready to faint; but a convulsive movement of the fingers, and a faintly whispered 'Don't leave me!' immediately recalled me: I took his hand again, and held it till he was no more - and then I fainted. It was not grief; it was exhaustion116, that, till then, I had been enabled successfully to combat. Oh, Frederick! none can imagine the miseries117, bodily and mental, of that death-bed! How could I endure to think that that poor trembling soul was hurried away to everlasting118 torment? it would drive me mad. But, thank God, I have hope - not only from a vague dependence37 on the possibility that penitence119 and pardon might have reached him at the last, but from the blessed confidence that, through whatever purging120 fires the erring121 spirit may be doomed122 to pass - whatever fate awaits it - still it is not lost, and God, who hateth nothing that He hath made, will bless it in the end!
His body will be consigned123 on Thursday to that dark grave he so much dreaded124; but the coffin must be closed as soon as possible. If you will attend the funeral, come quickly, for I need help.
HELEN HUNTINGDON.
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protracted
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casually
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| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
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hypocrisy
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| n.伪善，虚伪 | |
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profess
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| v.声称，冒称，以...为业，正式接受入教，表明信仰 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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justification
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| n.正当的理由；辩解的理由 | |
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pacify
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| vt.使(某人)平静(或息怒)；抚慰 | |
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lamented
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| adj.被哀悼的，令人遗憾的v.（为…）哀悼，痛哭，悲伤( lament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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lust
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callous
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| adj.无情的，冷淡的，硬结的，起老茧的 | |
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impervious
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| adj.不能渗透的，不能穿过的，不易伤害的 | |
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persuasive
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| adj.有说服力的，能说得使人相信的 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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deplore
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| vt.哀叹，对...深感遗憾 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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inquiries
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| n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 )；疑问；探究；打听 | |
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morsel
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| n.一口，一点点 | |
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discreetly
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| ad.(言行)审慎地，慎重地 | |
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devoured
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| 吞没( devour的过去式和过去分词 )； 耗尽； 津津有味地看； 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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stimulating
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| adj.有启发性的，能激发人思考的 | |
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remonstrated
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| v.抗议( remonstrate的过去式和过去分词 )；告诫 | |
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mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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entreaties
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covertly
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| adv.偷偷摸摸地 | |
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diluted
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| 无力的，冲淡的 | |
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harry
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| vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼 | |
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humbug
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| n.花招，谎话，欺骗 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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malady
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| n.病，疾病(通常做比喻) | |
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Augmented
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| adj.增音的 动词augment的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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virulence
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| n.毒力，毒性；病毒性；致病力 | |
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calamity
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| n.灾害，祸患，不幸事件 | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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irritation
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| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
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dependence
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| n.依靠，依赖；信任，信赖；隶属 | |
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behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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draught
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| n.拉，牵引，拖；一网（饮，吸，阵)；顿服药量，通风；v.起草，设计 | |
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assuage
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| v.缓和，减轻，镇定 | |
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sarcastic
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| adj.讥讽的，讽刺的，嘲弄的 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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attentive
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| adj.注意的，专心的；关心(别人)的，殷勤的 | |
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complacently
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| adv. 满足地, 自满地, 沾沾自喜地 | |
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gulf
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| n.海湾；深渊，鸿沟；分歧，隔阂 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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49
vehemently
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| adv. 热烈地 | |
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50
appalling
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| adj.骇人听闻的，令人震惊的，可怕的 | |
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51
imploring
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| 恳求的，哀求的 | |
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52
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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53
distressing
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| a.使人痛苦的 | |
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54
Forsaken
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| adj. 被遗忘的, 被抛弃的 动词forsake的过去分词 | |
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55
grove
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| n.林子，小树林，园林 | |
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56
plunge
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| v.跳入，(使)投入，(使)陷入；猛冲 | |
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57
melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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58
scoffing
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| n. 嘲笑, 笑柄, 愚弄 v. 嘲笑, 嘲弄, 愚弄, 狼吞虎咽 | |
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59
coffin
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| n.棺材，灵柩 | |
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60
levity
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| n.轻率，轻浮，不稳定，多变 | |
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61
consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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62
whim
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| n.一时的兴致，突然的念头；奇想，幻想 | |
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63
invalid
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| n.病人，伤残人；adj.有病的，伤残的；无效的 | |
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64
accede
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| v.应允，同意 | |
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65
portico
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| n.柱廊，门廊 | |
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66
inhaling
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| v.吸入( inhale的现在分词 ) | |
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67
bracing
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| adj.令人振奋的 | |
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68
eloquent
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| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
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69
espoused
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| v.（决定）支持，拥护（目标、主张等）( espouse的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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70
nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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71
grudge
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| n.不满，怨恨，妒嫉；vt.勉强给，不情愿做 | |
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72
plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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73
gushed
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| v.喷，涌( gush的过去式和过去分词 )；滔滔不绝地说话 | |
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74
abate
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| vi.(风势，疼痛等)减弱，减轻，减退 | |
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75
slumber
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| n.睡眠，沉睡状态 | |
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76
unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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77
doze
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| v.打瞌睡；n.打盹，假寐 | |
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78
groans
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| n.呻吟，叹息( groan的名词复数 )；呻吟般的声音v.呻吟( groan的第三人称单数 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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79
delirious
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| adj.不省人事的，神智昏迷的 | |
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favourable
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| adj.赞成的，称赞的，有利的，良好的，顺利的 | |
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81
mortification
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| n.耻辱，屈辱 | |
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82
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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83
tenor
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| n.男高音（歌手），次中音（乐器），要旨，大意 | |
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84
verge
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| n.边，边缘；v.接近，濒临 | |
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85
chasm
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| n.深坑，断层，裂口，大分岐，利害冲突 | |
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86
contemplate
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| vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视 | |
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87
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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88
remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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89
prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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apprehensions
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| 疑惧 | |
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91
shuddering
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| v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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piecemeal
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| adj.零碎的；n.片，块；adv.逐渐地；v.弄成碎块 | |
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93
shroud
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| n.裹尸布，寿衣；罩，幕；vt.覆盖，隐藏 | |
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94
corruption
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| n.腐败，堕落，贪污 | |
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95
afflicted
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| 使受痛苦，折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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96
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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97
pertinacity
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| n.执拗，顽固 | |
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98
dreads
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| n.恐惧，畏惧( dread的名词复数 )；令人恐惧的事物v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的第三人称单数 ) | |
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99
distresses
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| n.悲痛( distress的名词复数 )；痛苦；贫困；危险 | |
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100
probationary
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| 试用的，缓刑的 | |
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101
vilest
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| adj.卑鄙的( vile的最高级 )；可耻的；极坏的；非常讨厌的 | |
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102
repent
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| v.悔悟，悔改，忏悔，后悔 | |
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103
faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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104
condescended
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| 屈尊，俯就( condescend的过去式和过去分词 )； 故意表示和蔼可亲 | |
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105
glorified
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| 美其名的，变荣耀的 | |
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106
tightened
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| 收紧( tighten的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）变紧； （使）绷紧； 加紧 | |
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107
groaning
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| adj. 呜咽的, 呻吟的 动词groan的现在分词形式 | |
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108
lamenting
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| adj.悲伤的，悲哀的v.（为…）哀悼，痛哭，悲伤( lament的现在分词 ) | |
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109
soothe
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| v.安慰；使平静；使减轻；缓和；奉承 | |
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110
redeem
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| v.买回，赎回，挽回，恢复，履行（诺言等） | |
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111
incarnate
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| adj.化身的，人体化的，肉色的 | |
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112
bondage
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| n.奴役，束缚 | |
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113
formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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114
harass
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| vt.使烦恼，折磨，骚扰 | |
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115
lessen
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| vt.减少，减轻；缩小 | |
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116
exhaustion
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| n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述 | |
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117
miseries
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| n.痛苦( misery的名词复数 )；痛苦的事；穷困；常发牢骚的人 | |
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118
everlasting
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| adj.永恒的，持久的，无止境的 | |
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119
penitence
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| n.忏悔，赎罪；悔过 | |
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120
purging
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| 清洗； 清除； 净化； 洗炉 | |
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121
erring
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| 做错事的，错误的 | |
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122
doomed
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| 命定的 | |
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123
consigned
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| v.把…置于（令人不快的境地）( consign的过去式和过去分词 )；把…托付给；把…托人代售；丟弃 | |
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124
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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