The street-lamps were lit, but the rain had ceased, and there was a momentary1 revival2 of light in the upper sky. Lily walked on unconscious of her surroundings. She was still treading the buoyant ether which emanates3 from the high moments of life. But gradually it shrank away from her and she felt the dull pavement beneath her feet. The sense of weariness returned with accumulated force, and for a moment she felt that she could walk no farther. She had reached the corner of Forty-first Street and Fifth Avenue, and she remembered that in Bryant Park there were seats where she might rest.
That melancholy4 pleasure-ground was almost deserted5 when she entered it, and she sank down on an empty bench in the glare of an electric street-lamp. The warmth of the fire had passed out of her veins6, and she told herself that she must not sit long in the penetrating7 dampness which struck up from the wet asphalt. But her will-power seemed to have spent itself in a last great effort, and she was lost in the blank reaction which follows on an unwonted expenditure8 of energy. And besides, what was there to go home to? Nothing but the silence of her cheerless room--that silence of the night which may be more racking to tired nerves than the most discordant9 noises: that, and the bottle of chloral by her bed. The thought of the chloral was the only spot of light in the dark prospect10: she could feel its lulling11 influence stealing over her already. But she was troubled by the thought that it was losing its power--she dared not go back to it too soon. Of late the sleep it had brought her had been more broken and less profound; there had been nights when she was perpetually floating up through it to consciousness. What if the effect of the drug should gradually fail, as all narcotics12 were said to fail? She remembered the chemist's warning against increasing the dose; and she had heard before of the capricious and incalculable action of the drug. Her dread13 of returning to a sleepless14 night was so great that she lingered on, hoping that excessive weariness would reinforce the waning16 power of the chloral.
Night had now closed in, and the roar of traffic in Forty-second Street was dying out. As complete darkness fell on the square the lingering occupants of the benches rose and dispersed17; but now and then a stray figure, hurrying homeward, struck across the path where Lily sat, looming18 black for a moment in the white circle of electric light. One or two of these passers-by slackened their pace to glance curiously19 at her lonely figure; but she was hardly conscious of their scrutiny20.
Suddenly, however, she became aware that one of the passing shadows remained stationary21 between her line of vision and the gleaming asphalt; and raising her eyes she saw a young woman bending over her.
"Excuse me--are you sick?--Why, it's Miss Bart!" a half-familiar voice exclaimed.
Lily looked up. The speaker was a poorly-dressed young woman with a bundle under her arm. Her face had the air of unwholesome refinement22 which ill-health and over-work may produce, but its common prettiness was redeemed23 by the strong and generous curve of the lips.
"You don't remember me," she continued, brightening with the pleasure of recognition, "but I'd know you anywhere, I've thought of you such a lot. I guess my folks all know your name by heart. I was one of the girls at Miss Farish's club--you helped me to go to the country that time I had lung-trouble. My name's Nettie Struther. It was Nettie Crane then--but I daresay you don't remember that either."
Yes: Lily was beginning to remember. The episode of Nettie Crane's timely rescue from disease had been one of the most satisfying incidents of her connection with Gerty's charitable work. She had furnished the girl with the means to go to a sanatorium in the mountains: it struck her now with a peculiar24 irony25 that the money she had used had been Gus Trenor's.
She tried to reply, to assure the speaker that she had not forgotten; but her voice failed in the effort, and she felt herself sinking under a great wave of physical weakness. Nettie Struther, with a startled exclamation26, sat down and slipped a shabbily-clad arm behind her back.
"Why, Miss Bart, you ARE sick. Just lean on me a little till you feel better."
A faint glow of returning strength seemed to pass into Lily from the pressure of the supporting arm.
"I'm only tired--it is nothing," she found voice to say in a moment; and then, as she met the timid appeal of her companion's eyes, she added involuntarily: "I have been unhappy--in great trouble."
"YOU in trouble? I've always thought of you as being so high up, where everything was just grand. Sometimes, when I felt real mean, and got to wondering why things were so queerly fixed27 in the world, I used to remember that you were having a lovely time, anyhow, and that seemed to show there was a kind of justice somewhere. But you mustn't sit here too long--it's fearfully damp. Don't you feel strong enough to walk on a little ways now?" she broke off.
"Yes--yes; I must go home," Lily murmured, rising.
Her eyes rested wonderingly on the thin shabby figure at her side. She had known Nettie Crane as one of the discouraged victims of over-work and anaemic parentage: one of the superfluous28 fragments of life destined29 to be swept prematurely30 into that social refuse-heap of which Lily had so lately expressed her dread. But Nettie Struther's frail31 envelope was now alive with hope and energy: whatever fate the future reserved for her, she would not be cast into the refuse-heap without a struggle.
"I am very glad to have seen you," Lily continued, summoning a smile to her unsteady lips. "It'll be my turn to think of you as happy--and the world will seem a less unjust place to me too."
"Oh, but I can't leave you like this--you're not fit to go home alone. And I can't go with you either!" Nettie Struther wailed32 with a start of recollection. "You see, it's my husband's night-shift--he's a motor-man--and the friend I leave the baby with has to step upstairs to get HER husband's supper at seven. I didn't tell you I had a baby, did I? She'll be four months old day after tomorrow, and to look at her you wouldn't think I'd ever had a sick day. I'd give anything to show you the baby, Miss Bart, and we live right down the street here--it's only three blocks off." She lifted her eyes tentatively to Lily's face, and then added with a burst of courage: "Why won't you get right into the cars and come home with me while I get baby's supper? It's real warm in our kitchen, and you can rest there, and I'll take YOU home as soon as ever she drops off to sleep."
It WAS warm in the kitchen, which, when Nettie Struther's match had made a flame leap from the gas-jet above the table, revealed itself to Lily as extraordinarily33 small and almost miraculously34 clean. A fire shone through the polished flanks of the iron stove, and near it stood a crib in which a baby was sitting upright, with incipient35 anxiety struggling for expression on a countenance36 still placid37 with sleep.
Having passionately38 celebrated40 her reunion with her offspring, and excused herself in cryptic41 language for the lateness of her return, Nettie restored the baby to the crib and shyly invited Miss Bart to the rocking-chair near the stove.
"We've got a parlour too," she explained with pardonable pride; "but I guess it's warmer in here, and I don't want to leave you alone while I'm getting baby's supper."
On receiving Lily's assurance that she much preferred the friendly proximity42 of the kitchen fire, Mrs. Struther proceeded to prepare a bottle of infantile food, which she tenderly applied43 to the baby's impatient lips; and while the ensuing degustation went on, she seated herself with a beaming countenance beside her visitor.
"You're sure you won't let me warm up a drop of coffee for you, Miss Bart? There's some of baby's fresh milk left over--well, maybe you'd rather just sit quiet and rest a little while. It's too lovely having you here. I've thought of it so often that I can't believe it's really come true. I've said to George again and again: 'I just wish Miss Bart could see me NOW--' and I used to watch for your name in the papers, and we'd talk over what you were doing, and read the descriptions of the dresses you wore. I haven't seen your name for a long time, though, and I began to be afraid you were sick, and it worried me so that George said I'd get sick myself, fretting44 about it." Her lips broke into a reminiscent smile. "Well, I can't afford to be sick again, that's a fact: the last spell nearly finished me. When you sent me off that time I never thought I'd come back alive, and I didn't much care if I did. You see I didn't know about George and the baby then."
She paused to readjust the bottle to the child's bubbling mouth.
"You precious--don't you be in too much of a hurry! Was it mad with mommer for getting its supper so late? Marry Anto'nette--that's what we call her: after the French queen in that play at the Garden--I told George the actress reminded me of you, and that made me fancy the name . . . I never thought I'd get married, you know, and I'd never have had the heart to go on working just for myself."
She broke off again, and meeting the encouragement in Lily's eyes, went on, with a flush rising under her anaemic skin: "You see I wasn't only just SICK that time you sent me off--I was dreadfully unhappy too. I'd known a gentleman where I was employed--I don't know as you remember I did type-writing in a big importing firm--and--well--I thought we were to be married: he'd gone steady with me six months and given me his mother's wedding ring. But I presume he was too stylish45 for me--he travelled for the firm, and had seen a great deal of society. Work girls aren't looked after the way you are, and they don't always know how to look after themselves. I didn't . . . and it pretty near killed me when he went away and left off writing . . . It was then I came down sick--I thought it was the end of everything. I guess it would have been if you hadn't sent me off. But when I found I was getting well I began to take heart in spite of myself. And then, when I got back home, George came round and asked me to marry him. At first I thought I couldn't, because we'd been brought up together, and I knew he knew about me. But after a while I began to see that that made it easier. I never could have told another man, and I'd never have married without telling; but if George cared for me enough to have me as I was, I didn't see why I shouldn't begin over again--and I did."
The strength of the victory shone forth46 from her as she lifted her irradiated face from the child on her knees. "But, mercy, I didn't mean to go on like this about myself, with you sitting there looking so fagged out. Only it's so lovely having you here, and letting you see just how you've helped me." The baby had sunk back blissfully replete47, and Mrs. Struther softly rose to lay the bottle aside. Then she paused before Miss Bart.
"I only wish I could help YOU--but I suppose there's nothing on earth I could do," she murmured wistfully.
Lily, instead of answering, rose with a smile and held out her arms; and the mother, understanding the gesture, laid her child in them.
The baby, feeling herself detached from her habitual48 anchorage, made an instinctive49 motion of resistance; but the soothing50 influences of digestion51 prevailed, and Lily felt the soft weight sink trustfully against her breast. The child's confidence in its safety thrilled her with a sense of warmth and returning life, and she bent52 over, wondering at the rosy53 blur54 of the little face, the empty clearness of the eyes, the vague tendrilly motions of the folding and unfolding fingers. At first the burden in her arms seemed as light as a pink cloud or a heap of down, but as she continued to hold it the weight increased, sinking deeper, and penetrating her with a strange sense of weakness, as though the child entered into her and became a part of herself.
She looked up, and saw Nettie's eyes resting on her with tenderness and exultation55.
"Wouldn't it be too lovely for anything if she could grow up to be just like you? Of course I know she never COULD--but mothers are always dreaming the craziest things for their children."
Lily clasped the child close for a moment and laid her back in her mother's arms.
"Oh, she must not do that--I should be afraid to come and see her too often!" she said with a smile; and then, resisting Mrs. Struther's anxious offer of companionship, and reiterating56 the promise that of course she would come back soon, and make George's acquaintance, and see the baby in her bath, she passed out of the kitchen and went alone down the tenement57 stairs.
As she reached the street she realized that she felt stronger and happier: the little episode had done her good. It was the first time she had ever come across the results of her spasmodic benevolence58, and the surprised sense of human fellowship took the mortal chill from her heart.
It was not till she entered her own door that she felt the reaction of a deeper loneliness. It was long after seven o'clock, and the light and odours proceeding59 from the basement made it manifest that the boarding-house dinner had begun. She hastened up to her room, lit the gas, and began to dress. She did not mean to pamper60 herself any longer, to go without food because her surroundings made it unpalatable. Since it was her fate to live in a boarding-house, she must learn to fall in with the conditions of the life. Nevertheless she was glad that, when she descended61 to the heat and glare of the dining-room, the repast was nearly over.
In her own room again, she was seized with a sudden fever of activity. For weeks past she had been too listless and indifferent to set her possessions in order, but now she began to examine systematically62 the contents of her drawers and cupboard. She had a few handsome dresses left--survivals of her last phase of splendour, on the Sabrina and in London--but when she had been obliged to part with her maid she had given the woman a generous share of her cast-off apparel. The remaining dresses, though they had lost their freshness, still kept the long unerring lines, the sweep and amplitude63 of the great artist's stroke, and as she spread them out on the bed the scenes in which they had been worn rose vividly64 before her. An association lurked65 in every fold: each fall of lace and gleam of embroidery66 was like a letter in the record of her past. She was startled to find how the atmosphere of her old life enveloped67 her. But, after all, it was the life she had been made for: every dawning tendency in her had been carefully directed toward it, all her interests and activities had been taught to centre around it. She was like some rare flower grown for exhibition, a flower from which every bud had been nipped except the crowning blossom of her beauty.
Last of all, she drew forth from the bottom of her trunk a heap of white drapery which fell shapelessly across her arm. It was the Reynolds dress she had worn in the Bry TABLEAUX68. It had been impossible for her to give it away, but she had never seen it since that night, and the long flexible folds, as she shook them out, gave forth an odour of violets which came to her like a breath from the flower-edged fountain where she had stood with Lawrence Selden and disowned her fate. She put back the dresses one by one, laying away with each some gleam of light, some note of laughter, some stray waft69 from the rosy shores of pleasure. She was still in a state of highly-wrought impressionability, and every hint of the past sent a lingering tremor70 along her nerves.
She had just closed her trunk on the white folds of the Reynolds dress when she heard a tap at her door, and the red fist of the Irish maid-servant thrust in a belated letter. Carrying it to the light, Lily read with surprise the address stamped on the upper corner of the envelope. It was a business communication from the office of her aunt's executors, and she wondered what unexpected development had caused them to break silence before the appointed time. She opened the envelope and a cheque fluttered to the floor. As she stooped to pick it up the blood rushed to her face. The cheque represented the full amount of Mrs. Peniston's legacy71, and the letter accompanying it explained that the executors, having adjusted the business of the estate with less delay than they had expected, had decided72 to anticipate the date fixed for the payment of the bequests73.
Lily sat down beside the desk at the foot of her bed, and spreading out the cheque, read over and over the TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS written across it in a steely business hand. Ten months earlier the amount it stood for had represented the depths of penury74; but her standard of values had changed in the interval75, and now visions of wealth lurked in every flourish of the pen. As she continued to gaze at it, she felt the glitter of the visions mounting to her brain, and after a while she lifted the lid of the desk and slipped the magic formula out of sight. It was easier to think without those five figures dancing before her eyes; and she had a great deal of thinking to do before she slept.
She opened her cheque-book, and plunged76 into such anxious calculations as had prolonged her vigil at Bellomont on the night when she had decided to marry Percy Gryce. Poverty simplifies book-keeping, and her financial situation was easier to ascertain77 than it had been then; but she had not yet learned the control of money, and during her transient phase of luxury at the Emporium she had slipped back into habits of extravagance which still impaired78 her slender balance. A careful examination of her cheque-book, and of the unpaid79 bills in her desk, showed that, when the latter had been settled, she would have barely enough to live on for the next three or four months; and even after that, if she were to continue her present way of living, without earning any additional money, all incidental expenses must be reduced to the vanishing point. She hid her eyes with a shudder80, beholding81 herself at the entrance of that ever-narrowing perspective down which she had seen Miss Silverton's dowdy82 figure take its despondent83 way.
It was no longer, however, from the vision of material poverty that she turned with the greatest shrinking. She had a sense of deeper empoverishment--of an inner destitution84 compared to which outward conditions dwindled85 into insignificance86. It was indeed miserable87 to be poor--to look forward to a shabby, anxious middle-age, leading by dreary88 degrees of economy and self-denial to gradual absorption in the dingy89 communal90 existence of the boarding-house. But there was something more miserable still--it was the clutch of solitude91 at her heart, the sense of being swept like a stray uprooted92 growth down the heedless current of the years. That was the feeling which possessed93 her now--the feeling of being something rootless and ephemeral, mere94 spin-drift of the whirling surface of existence, without anything to which the poor little tentacles95 of self could cling before the awful flood submerged them. And as she looked back she saw that there had never been a time when she had had any real relation to life. Her parents too had been rootless, blown hither and thither96 on every wind of fashion, without any personal existence to shelter them from its shifting gusts97. She herself had grown up without any one spot of earth being dearer to her than another: there was no centre of early pieties98, of grave endearing traditions, to which her heart could revert99 and from which it could draw strength for itself and tenderness for others. In whatever form a slowly-accumulated past lives in the blood--whether in the concrete image of the old house stored with visual memories, or in the conception of the house not built with hands, but made up of inherited passions and loyalties--it has the same power of broadening and deepening the individual existence, of attaching it by mysterious links of kinship to all the mighty100 sum of human striving.
Such a vision of the solidarity101 of life had never before come to Lily. She had had a premonition of it in the blind motions of her mating-instinct; but they had been checked by the disintegrating102 influences of the life about her. All the men and women she knew were like atoms whirling away from each other in some wild centrifugal dance: her first glimpse of the continuity of life had come to her that evening in Nettie Struther's kitchen.
The poor little working-girl who had found strength to gather up the fragments of her life, and build herself a shelter with them, seemed to Lily to have reached the central truth of existence. It was a meagre enough life, on the grim edge of poverty, with scant103 margin104 for possibilities of sickness or mischance, but it had the frail audacious permanence of a bird's nest built on the edge of a cliff--a mere wisp of leaves and straw, yet so put together that the lives entrusted105 to it may hang safely over the abyss.
Yes--but it had taken two to build the nest; the man's faith as well as the woman's courage. Lily remembered Nettie's words: I KNEW HE KNEW ABOUT ME. Her husband's faith in her had made her renewal106 possible--it is so easy for a woman to become what the man she loves believes her to be! Well--Selden had twice been ready to stake his faith on Lily Bart; but the third trial had been too severe for his endurance. The very quality of his love had made it the more impossible to recall to life. If it had been a simple instinct of the blood, the power of her beauty might have revived it. But the fact that it struck deeper, that it was inextricably wound up with inherited habits of thought and feeling, made it as impossible to restore to growth as a deep-rooted plant tom from its bed. Selden had given her of his best; but he was as incapable107 as herself of an uncritical return to former states of feeling.
There remained to her, as she had told him, the uplifting memory of his faith in her; but she had not reached the age when a woman can live on her memories. As she held Nettie Struther's child in her arms the frozen currents of youth had loosed themselves and run warm in her veins: the old life-hunger possessed her, and all her being clamoured for its share of personal happiness. Yes--it was happiness she still wanted, and the glimpse she had caught of it made everything else of no account. One by one she had detached herself from the baser possibilities, and she saw that nothing now remained to her but the emptiness of renunciation.
It was growing late, and an immense weariness once more possessed her. It was not the stealing sense of sleep, but a vivid wakeful fatigue108, a wan15 lucidity109 of mind against which all the possibilities of the future were shadowed forth gigantically. She was appalled110 by the intense cleanness of the vision; she seemed to have broken through the merciful veil which intervenes between intention and action, and to see exactly what she would do in all the long days to come. There was the cheque in her desk, for instance--she meant to use it in paying her debt to Trenor; but she foresaw that when the morning came she would put off doing so, would slip into gradual tolerance111 of the debt. The thought terrified her--she dreaded112 to fall from the height of her last moment with Lawrence Selden. But how could she trust herself to keep her footing? She knew the strength of the opposing impulses-she could feel the countless113 hands of habit dragging her back into some fresh compromise with fate. She felt an intense longing114 to prolong, to perpetuate115, the momentary exaltation of her spirit. If only life could end now--end on this tragic116 yet sweet vision of lost possibilities, which gave her a sense of kinship with all the loving and foregoing in the world!
She reached out suddenly and, drawing the cheque from her writing-desk, enclosed it in an envelope which she addressed to her bank. She then wrote out a cheque for Trenor, and placing it, without an accompanying word, in an envelope inscribed117 with his name, laid the two letters side by side on her desk. After that she continued to sit at the table, sorting her papers and writing, till the intense silence of the house reminded her of the lateness of the hour. In the street the noise of wheels had ceased, and the rumble118 of the "elevated" came only at long intervals119 through the deep unnatural120 hush121. In the mysterious nocturnal separation from all outward signs of life, she felt herself more strangely confronted with her fate. The sensation made her brain reel, and she tried to shut out consciousness by pressing her hands against her eyes. But the terrible silence and emptiness seemed to symbolize122 her future--she felt as though the house, the street, the world were all empty, and she alone left sentient123 in a lifeless universe.
But this was the verge124 of delirium125 . . . she had never hung so near the dizzy brink126 of the unreal. Sleep was what she wanted--she remembered that she had not closed her eyes for two nights. The little bottle was at her bed-side, waiting to lay its spell upon her. She rose and undressed hastily, hungering now for the touch of her pillow. She felt so profoundly tired that she thought she must fall asleep at once; but as soon as she had lain down every nerve started once more into separate wakefulness. It was as though a great blaze of electric light had been turned on in her head, and her poor little anguished127 self shrank and cowered128 in it, without knowing where to take refuge.
She had not imagined that such a multiplication129 of wakefulness was possible: her whole past was reenacting itself at a hundred different points of consciousness. Where was the drug that could still this legion of insurgent130 nerves? The sense of exhaustion131 would have been sweet compared to this shrill132 beat of activities; but weariness had dropped from her as though some cruel stimulant133 had been forced into her veins.
She could bear it--yes, she could bear it; but what strength would be left her the next day? Perspective had disappeared--the next day pressed close upon her, and on its heels came the days that were to follow--they swarmed134 about her like a shrieking135 mob. She must shut them out for a few hours; she must take a brief bath of oblivion. She put out her hand, and measured the soothing drops into a glass; but as she did so, she knew they would be powerless against the supernatural lucidity of her brain. She had long since raised the dose to its highest limit, but tonight she felt she must increase it. She knew she took a slight risk in doing so--she remembered the chemist's warning. If sleep came at all, it might be a sleep without waking. But after all that was but one chance in a hundred: the action of the drug was incalculable, and the addition of a few drops to the regular dose would probably do no more than procure136 for her the rest she so desperately137 needed....
She did not, in truth, consider the question very closely--the physical craving138 for sleep was her only sustained sensation. Her mind shrank from the glare of thought as instinctively139 as eyes contract in a blaze of light--darkness, darkness was what she must have at any cost. She raised herself in bed and swallowed the contents of the glass; then she blew out her candle and lay down.
She lay very still, waiting with a sensuous140 pleasure for the first effects of the soporific. She knew in advance what form they would take--the gradual cessation of the inner throb141, the soft approach of passiveness, as though an invisible hand made magic passes over her in the darkness. The very slowness and hesitancy of the effect increased its fascination142: it was delicious to lean over and look down into the dim abysses of unconsciousness. Tonight the drug seemed to work more slowly than usual: each passionate39 pulse had to be stilled in turn, and it was long before she felt them dropping into abeyance143, like sentinels falling asleep at their posts. But gradually the sense of complete subjugation144 came over her, and she wondered languidly what had made her feel so uneasy and excited. She saw now that there was nothing to be excited about--she had returned to her normal view of life. Tomorrow would not be so difficult after all: she felt sure that she would have the strength to meet it. She did not quite remember what it was that she had been afraid to meet, but the uncertainty145 no longer troubled her. She had been unhappy, and now she was happy--she had felt herself alone, and now the sense of loneliness had vanished.
She stirred once, and turned on her side, and as she did so, she suddenly understood why she did not feel herself alone. It was odd--but Nettie Struther's child was lying on her arm: she felt the pressure of its little head against her shoulder. She did not know how it had come there, but she felt no great surprise at the fact, only a gentle penetrating thrill of warmth and pleasure. She settled herself into an easier position, hollowing her arm to pillow the round downy head, and holding her breath lest a sound should disturb the sleeping child.
As she lay there she said to herself that there was something she must tell Selden, some word she had found that should make life clear between them. She tried to repeat the word, which lingered vague and luminous146 on the far edge of thought--she was afraid of not remembering it when she woke; and if she could only remember it and say it to him, she felt that everything would be well.
Slowly the thought of the word faded, and sleep began to enfold her. She struggled faintly against it, feeling that she ought to keep awake on account of the baby; but even this feeling was gradually lost in an indistinct sense of drowsy147 peace, through which, of a sudden, a dark flash of loneliness and terror tore its way.
She started up again, cold and trembling with the shock: for a moment she seemed to have lost her hold of the child. But no--she was mistaken--the tender pressure of its body was still close to hers: the recovered warmth flowed through her once more, she yielded to it, sank into it, and slept.
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momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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revival
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| n.复兴，复苏，（精力、活力等的）重振 | |
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emanates
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| v.从…处传出，传出( emanate的第三人称单数 )；产生，表现，显示 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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penetrating
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| adj.（声音）响亮的，尖锐的adj.（气味）刺激的adj.（思想）敏锐的，有洞察力的 | |
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expenditure
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| n.(时间、劳力、金钱等)支出；使用，消耗 | |
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discordant
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prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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lulling
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| vt.使镇静，使安静（lull的现在分词形式） | |
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narcotics
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| n.麻醉药( narcotic的名词复数 )；毒品；毒 | |
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dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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sleepless
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| adj.不睡眠的，睡不著的，不休息的 | |
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wan
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| (wide area network)广域网 | |
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waning
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| adj.（月亮）渐亏的，逐渐减弱或变小的n.月亏v.衰落( wane的现在分词 )；（月）亏；变小；变暗淡 | |
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dispersed
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| adj. 被驱散的, 被分散的, 散布的 | |
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18
looming
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| n.上现蜃景（光通过低层大气发生异常折射形成的一种海市蜃楼）v.隐约出现，阴森地逼近( loom的现在分词 )；隐约出现，阴森地逼近 | |
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19
curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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20
scrutiny
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| n.详细检查，仔细观察 | |
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21
stationary
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| adj.固定的，静止不动的 | |
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22
refinement
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| n.文雅；高尚；精美；精制；精炼 | |
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23
redeemed
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| adj. 可赎回的，可救赎的 动词redeem的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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24
peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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25
irony
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| n.反语，冷嘲；具有讽刺意味的事，嘲弄 | |
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26
exclamation
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| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
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27
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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28
superfluous
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| adj.过多的，过剩的，多余的 | |
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29
destined
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| adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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30
prematurely
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| adv.过早地，贸然地 | |
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31
frail
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| adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的 | |
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32
wailed
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| v.哭叫，哀号( wail的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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33
extraordinarily
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| adv.格外地；极端地 | |
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34
miraculously
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| ad.奇迹般地 | |
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35
incipient
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| adj.起初的，发端的，初期的 | |
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36
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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37
placid
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| adj.安静的，平和的 | |
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38
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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39
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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40
celebrated
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| adj.有名的，声誉卓著的 | |
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41
cryptic
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| adj.秘密的，神秘的，含义模糊的 | |
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42
proximity
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| n.接近，邻近 | |
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43
applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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44
fretting
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| n. 微振磨损 adj. 烦躁的, 焦虑的 | |
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45
stylish
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| adj.流行的，时髦的；漂亮的，气派的 | |
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46
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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47
replete
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| adj.饱满的，塞满的；n.贮蜜蚁 | |
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48
habitual
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| adj.习惯性的；通常的，惯常的 | |
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49
instinctive
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| adj.(出于)本能的；直觉的；(出于)天性的 | |
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50
soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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51
digestion
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| n.消化，吸收 | |
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52
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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53
rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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54
blur
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| n.模糊不清的事物；vt.使模糊，使看不清楚 | |
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55
exultation
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| n.狂喜，得意 | |
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56
reiterating
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| 反复地说，重申( reiterate的现在分词 ) | |
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57
tenement
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| n.公寓；房屋 | |
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58
benevolence
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| n.慈悲，捐助 | |
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59
proceeding
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| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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60
pamper
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| v.纵容，过分关怀 | |
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61
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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62
systematically
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| adv.有系统地 | |
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63
amplitude
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| n.广大；充足；振幅 | |
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64
vividly
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| adv.清楚地，鲜明地，生动地 | |
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65
lurked
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| vi.潜伏，埋伏（lurk的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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66
embroidery
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| n.绣花，刺绣；绣制品 | |
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67
enveloped
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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68
tableaux
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| n.舞台造型，（由活人扮演的）静态画面、场面；人构成的画面或场景( tableau的名词复数 )；舞台造型；戏剧性的场面；绚丽的场景 | |
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69
waft
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| v.飘浮，飘荡；n.一股；一阵微风；飘荡 | |
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70
tremor
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| n.震动，颤动，战栗，兴奋，地震 | |
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71
legacy
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| n.遗产，遗赠；先人(或过去)留下的东西 | |
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72
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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73
bequests
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| n.遗赠( bequest的名词复数 )；遗产，遗赠物 | |
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74
penury
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| n.贫穷，拮据 | |
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75
interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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76
plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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77
ascertain
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| vt.发现，确定，查明，弄清 | |
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78
impaired
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| adj.受损的；出毛病的；有（身体或智力）缺陷的v.损害，削弱( impair的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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79
unpaid
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| adj.未付款的，无报酬的 | |
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80
shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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81
beholding
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| v.看，注视( behold的现在分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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82
dowdy
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| adj.不整洁的；过旧的 | |
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83
despondent
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| adj.失望的，沮丧的，泄气的 | |
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84
destitution
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| n.穷困，缺乏，贫穷 | |
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85
dwindled
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| v.逐渐变少或变小( dwindle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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86
insignificance
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| n.不重要；无价值；无意义 | |
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87
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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88
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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89
dingy
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| adj.昏暗的，肮脏的 | |
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90
communal
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| adj.公有的，公共的，公社的，公社制的 | |
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91
solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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92
uprooted
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| v.把（某物）连根拔起( uproot的过去式和过去分词 )；根除；赶走；把…赶出家园 | |
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93
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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94
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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95
tentacles
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| n.触手( tentacle的名词复数 )；触角；触须；触毛 | |
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96
thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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97
gusts
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| 一阵强风( gust的名词复数 )； （怒、笑等的）爆发； （感情的）迸发； 发作 | |
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98
pieties
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| 虔诚，虔敬( piety的名词复数 ) | |
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99
revert
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| v.恢复，复归，回到 | |
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100
mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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101
solidarity
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| n.团结；休戚相关 | |
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102
disintegrating
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| v.（使）破裂[分裂，粉碎]，（使）崩溃( disintegrate的现在分词 ) | |
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103
scant
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| adj.不充分的，不足的；v.减缩，限制，忽略 | |
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104
margin
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| n.页边空白；差额；余地，余裕；边，边缘 | |
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105
entrusted
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| v.委托，托付( entrust的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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106
renewal
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| adj.(契约)延期，续订，更新，复活，重来 | |
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107
incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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108
fatigue
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| n.疲劳，劳累 | |
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109
lucidity
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| n.明朗，清晰，透明 | |
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110
appalled
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| v.使惊骇，使充满恐惧( appall的过去式和过去分词)adj.惊骇的；丧胆的 | |
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111
tolerance
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| n.宽容；容忍，忍受；耐药力；公差 | |
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112
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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113
countless
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| adj.无数的，多得不计其数的 | |
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114
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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115
perpetuate
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| v.使永存，使永记不忘 | |
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116
tragic
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| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
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117
inscribed
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| v.写，刻( inscribe的过去式和过去分词 )；内接 | |
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118
rumble
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| n.隆隆声；吵嚷；v.隆隆响；低沉地说 | |
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119
intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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120
unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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121
hush
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| int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静 | |
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122
symbolize
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| vt.作为...的象征，用符号代表 | |
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123
sentient
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| adj.有知觉的，知悉的；adv.有感觉能力地 | |
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124
verge
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| n.边，边缘；v.接近，濒临 | |
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125
delirium
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| n. 神智昏迷,说胡话;极度兴奋 | |
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126
brink
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| n.(悬崖、河流等的)边缘，边沿 | |
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127
anguished
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| adj.极其痛苦的v.使极度痛苦(anguish的过去式) | |
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128
cowered
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| v.畏缩，抖缩( cower的过去式 ) | |
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129
multiplication
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| n.增加，增多，倍增；增殖，繁殖；乘法 | |
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130
insurgent
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| adj.叛乱的，起事的；n.叛乱分子 | |
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131
exhaustion
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| n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述 | |
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132
shrill
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| adj.尖声的；刺耳的；v尖叫 | |
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133
stimulant
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| n.刺激物，兴奋剂 | |
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134
swarmed
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| 密集( swarm的过去式和过去分词 )； 云集； 成群地移动； 蜜蜂或其他飞行昆虫成群地飞来飞去 | |
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135
shrieking
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| v.尖叫( shriek的现在分词 ) | |
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136
procure
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| vt.获得，取得，促成；vi.拉皮条 | |
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137
desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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138
craving
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| n.渴望,热望 | |
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139
instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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140
sensuous
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| adj.激发美感的；感官的，感觉上的 | |
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141
throb
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| v.震颤，颤动；(急速强烈地)跳动，搏动 | |
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142
fascination
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| n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋 | |
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143
abeyance
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| n.搁置，缓办，中止，产权未定 | |
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144
subjugation
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| n.镇压，平息，征服 | |
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145
uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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146
luminous
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| adj.发光的，发亮的；光明的；明白易懂的；有启发的 | |
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147
drowsy
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| adj.昏昏欲睡的，令人发困的 | |
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