Chapter 68

THINKING BACK, I remember only flashes of what hap-pened next. I know I stood there, unable to comprehend what I was seeing: Jill's beautiful face, lifeless now. Her eyes staring forward, clear, almost serene¹. "Oh no, no...," I repeated over and over.

I know my legs gave out, and someone held me. Claire's voice, cracking: "Oh my God, Lindsay..."

I couldn't take my eyes off Jill's face. A trickle² of blood seeped³ from the corner of her mouth. I reached out and touched her hand. She still had her wedding ring on.

I heard Cindy start to cry, and saw Claire holding her. I kept repeating over and over, This can't be Jill. What does she have to do with August Spies?

Then things fell into a daze⁴. I kept reminding myself, It's a crime scene, Lindsay, a homicide scene. I wanted to be strong for Claire and Cindy, for all the cops around. I asked, "Did anyone see how she got here?" I looked around. "I want the area canvassed⁵. Someone could've seen a vehicle."

Molinari tried to pull me away, but I shook him off. I had to look around, find something. There was always some-thing, some mistake they had made. You assholes, August Spies... You scum.

Suddenly Jacobi was there. And Cappy. Even Tracchio. My homicide team. "Let us handle it," Cappy said. Finally, I just let them take charge.

I was beginning to understand that this was real. These emergency lights, they weren't in my head. Jill was dead. She'd been killed, not by Steve but by August Spies.

I watched them take her away. My friend. Jill...I watched Claire help place her into the morgue van and send it off, sirens blaring. Joe Molinari comforted me as best he could, but then he had to return to the Hall.

Then as the crime scene quieted down, Claire, Cindy, and I sat on the steps of an adjoining building in the light rain. Not a word passed between us. My brain echoed with ques-tions I couldn't answer: Why? How does this fit? It's a different case! How can Jill be connected?

How long we sat on those steps I don't know. The haze⁶ of urgent voices, flashing lights. Cindy weeping, Claire holding her. Me too stunned⁷ to even speak, my fists clenched⁸, turn-ing the question over and over. Why?

A thought kept creeping into my head. If only I had gone to Jill's that night. None of this might have been....

Suddenly a ringing broke the silence. Cindy's cell. She answered, her voice tremulous. "Yes?" Cindy drew a breath. "I'm at the scene."

It was her Metro⁹ desk.

In a halting voice, she gave details of what had taken place. "Yes, it looks like it is part of the terror campaign. The third victim..." She described the location, the e-mail she had received at the paper, the time.

Then Cindy stopped. I could see tears glazing¹⁰ her eyes. She bit her lip, as if she was afraid to let the words out. "Yes, the victim's been identified. Her name is Bernhardt... Jill." She spelled it letter by letter.

She tried to say something else, but the words caught in her throat. Claire reached for her. Cindy sucked in a breath, wiped her eyes. "Yes," she said, nodding. "Ms. Bernhardt was Chief Assistant District Attorney of the City of San Fran-cisco...."

Then, in a whisper, "She was also my friend."

1 serene   

adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的

参考例句：

• He has entered the serene autumn of his life.他已进入了美好的中年时期。
• He didn't speak much,he just smiled with that serene smile of his.他话不多，只是脸上露出他招牌式的淡定的微笑。

2 trickle   

vi.淌，滴，流出，慢慢移动，逐渐消散

参考例句：

• The stream has thinned down to a mere trickle.这条小河变成细流了。
• The flood of cars has now slowed to a trickle.汹涌的车流现在已经变得稀稀拉拉。

3 seeped   

v.（液体）渗( seep的过去式和过去分词 )；渗透；渗出；漏出

参考例句：

• The rain seeped through the roof. 雨水透过房顶渗透。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Icy air seeped in through the paper and the room became cold. 寒气透过了糊窗纸。屋里骤然冷起来。 来自汉英文学 - 家（1-26） - 家（1-26）

4 daze   

v.(使)茫然，(使)发昏

参考例句：

• The blow on the head dazed him for a moment.他头上受了一击后就昏眩了片刻。
• I like dazing to sit in the cafe by myself on Sunday.星期日爱独坐人少的咖啡室发呆。

5 canvassed   

v.（在政治方面）游说( canvass的过去式和过去分词 )；调查（如选举前选民的）意见；为讨论而提出（意见等）；详细检查

参考例句：

• He canvassed the papers, hunting for notices of jobs. 他仔细查阅报纸，寻找招工广告。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• The stirring event was well canvassed. 那桩惊人的事情已经是满城风雨。 来自英汉文学 - 汤姆历险

6 haze   

n.霾，烟雾；懵懂，迷糊；vi.(over)变模糊

参考例句：

• I couldn't see her through the haze of smoke.在烟雾弥漫中，我看不见她。
• He often lives in a haze of whisky.他常常是在威士忌的懵懂醉意中度过的。

7 stunned   

adj. 震惊的，惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• The fall stunned me for a moment. 那一下摔得我昏迷了片刻。
• The leaders of the Kopper Company were then stunned speechless. 科伯公司的领导们当时被惊得目瞪口呆。

8 clenched   

v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He clenched his fists in anger. 他愤怒地攥紧了拳头。
• She clenched her hands in her lap to hide their trembling. 她攥紧双手放在腿上，以掩饰其颤抖。 来自《简明英汉词典》

9 metro   

n.地铁；adj.大都市的；(METRO)麦德隆(财富500强公司之一总部所在地德国，主要经营零售)

参考例句：

• Can you reach the park by metro?你可以乘地铁到达那个公园吗？
• The metro flood gate system is a disaster prevention equipment.地铁防淹门系统是一种防灾设备。

10 glazing   

n.玻璃装配业；玻璃窗；上釉；上光v.装玻璃( glaze的现在分词 )；上釉于，上光；（目光）变得呆滞无神

参考例句：

• You should ensure against loss of heat by having double glazing. 你应装双层玻璃以免散热。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• You should ensure yourself against loss of heat by having double glazing. 你应该装双层玻璃防止热量散失。 来自《简明英汉词典》