LEARN... Norbert shook his head and bellowed1 laughter. Learning would take years. How would you learn in a short time to do this?
The gnome2 took a lit candle, waved his bare hand through the flame, not once crying out, then snapped his fingers, and the flame was snuffed as if by magic. It's what comes natural that I need to know. So tell me,whaddaya do ?
Do... ? I muttered.
Do, the jester snapped. What kind of student have you brought me, auntie? Has a rock hit his head?What do you do? Juggle3, tumble, fall down?
I looked around. I spotted4 a staff leaning against a table, roughly the same size as mine. I winked5 at Norbert. I can do this. I placed one end of the staff on the palm of my hand, balancing it there, then lightly transferred it to a single finger. For a full minute, it stood straight on end.
Oh, that'sgoood , Norbert crooned. But can you do this? He snatched the staff from me. In a flash, he balanced it, just as I had, upon his index finger. Then, with almost no hesitation6, he flung it in the air and caught it as before on the same finger. Then again, on only one finger.
Or this? He smirked7 and began to twirl the staff so fast it looked as if six pairs of hands were twirling it. I could not even follow its path. Then he brought it to a stop and handed it to me in the same motion. Let me see you do that.
I cannot, I admitted.
Then this, perhaps... He winked at me with a bulging8 eye. The lady said you were sprightly9.
In a motion that defied my eyes, this squat10, curved man spun11 into a complete forward somersault, then backward again, landing precisely12 where he had started.
What about jokes, then? The lady said you could make me laugh. You must know some fabulous13 jokes.
I know a few, I said.
Norbert folded his arms. So, go ahead, boy. Bowl me over. Make me laugh until I piss myself.
Now I was eager to take the dare, eager to show the jester up. This I could surely do. I thought through my best inventory14. There's the one about the peasant who is so lazy that as he watches a gold coin drop from the money bag of a knight15 riding by...
Knowit, Norbert interrupted. He says to his friend, `If he comes back the same way, this just might be our lucky day.'
Then there's the one about the traveler and the whorehouse, I began. A traveler is walking down the road....
Knowit, the jester snapped again. The sign says, `Congratulations, you've just been screwed.'
I went through two other tales that never failed to stir a laugh.Knowit , he said to both. He seemed to know them all. Emilie held back a laugh.
So that's it? That's your entire repertoire16? The jester shook his head. Can you at leastrhyme? A dour17 king cannot ignore,refusedly , a spicy18 tale about his wife if it is told amusedly.
This stuff iseasy , right? Hump your back, hop19 around like an ape, everyone rolls over in stitches. C'mon, Red, you must have something decent. You want a pretext20? Well, I want to be a mentor21.I want to be a mentor. He pranced22 around and whined23 like a spoiled child. You know, maybe on second thought, you would have an easier time storming Baldwin's castle than making them laugh.
In a fit of vexation, I searched the room. This was no sport to me. No stupid audition24. This was about the fate of my wife. Then, in the corner of the jester's cell, I spotted a ball and chain.
What? Wanna play catch? Norbert asked haughtily26.
No, jester. Fetch me the chain. I remembered something I had seen on the Crusade. A captured Saracen did a trick to amuse his captors; it worked so well they kept him alive.
Bind27 me with it, I said. Wrap it all the way around, tight as you can. I will extricate28 myself.
This brought a worried look from Emilie. The chain was heavy. Wound too tight, it could squeeze the air out of a man.
Your poison. Norbert shrugged29.
He went over and dragged the heavy chain back to me. I took several deep breaths, as I had seen the Saracen do when he performed the trick. Then the jester began to wrap. Slowly, heavily, the chain squeezed me. I lifted my arms and he wrapped it around my shoulders. And for good luck, between my legs.
Your rubicund30 friend has a knack31 to kill himself. Norbert chuckled32.
Please be careful, Emilie said.
I pushed out my chest as expansively as I could as the jester circled it with the chain. I had to enlarge myself. I had to hold my breath. I had seen this done. I had questioned the Turk about it myself. I only hoped I could re-create the effect now.
Time's a wasting, Norbert said after the chain was secure. He stood back.
The links felt heavy on my shoulders. Slowly, I released the captured air from my lungs. The slightest wiggle room developed around my chest. It was only a finger's breadth or two.
Then I was able to shift my shoulders back and forth33. Then gradually my arms. Every grueling minute advanced like an hour. The weight of the chains pressed me to the floor. My hands were pinned behind my back, but finally I pulled one free. I twisted it like a snake through an opening up around my shoulders.
Emilie gasped34. The jester looked on, finally interested in me.
It took all of my strength to get an arm free. My stomach and leg still ached from the boar's attack. Each exertion35 was grueling, but gradually, with the arm free, I was able to unwrap the chain. From between my legs, from under my arms, from around my chest. Layer after layer came off. Then I freed my other arm.
As I kicked off the final loop, Emilie screeched36 a happy cry.
I doubled over, drenched37 in sweat. I looked up at my mentor.
Norbert drummed his fingers along the side of his face. He smiled at Emilie. I think we can work with that.
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bellowed
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v.发出吼叫声,咆哮(尤指因痛苦)( bellow的过去式和过去分词 );(愤怒地)说出(某事),大叫 | |
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gnome
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n.土地神;侏儒,地精 | |
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juggle
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v.变戏法,纂改,欺骗,同时做;n.玩杂耍,纂改,花招 | |
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spotted
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adj.有斑点的,斑纹的,弄污了的 | |
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winked
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v.使眼色( wink的过去式和过去分词 );递眼色(表示友好或高兴等);(指光)闪烁;闪亮 | |
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hesitation
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n.犹豫,踌躇 | |
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smirked
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v.傻笑( smirk的过去分词 ) | |
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bulging
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膨胀; 凸出(部); 打气; 折皱 | |
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sprightly
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adj.愉快的,活泼的 | |
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squat
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v.蹲坐,蹲下;n.蹲下;adj.矮胖的,粗矮的 | |
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spun
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v.纺,杜撰,急转身 | |
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12
precisely
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adv.恰好,正好,精确地,细致地 | |
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fabulous
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adj.极好的;极为巨大的;寓言中的,传说中的 | |
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inventory
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n.详细目录,存货清单 | |
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knight
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n.骑士,武士;爵士 | |
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repertoire
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n.(准备好演出的)节目,保留剧目;(计算机的)指令表,指令系统, <美>(某个人的)全部技能;清单,指令表 | |
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dour
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adj.冷酷的,严厉的;(岩石)嶙峋的;顽强不屈 | |
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18
spicy
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adj.加香料的;辛辣的,有风味的 | |
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19
hop
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n.单脚跳,跳跃;vi.单脚跳,跳跃;着手做某事;vt.跳跃,跃过 | |
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pretext
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n.借口,托词 | |
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21
mentor
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n.指导者,良师益友;v.指导 | |
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pranced
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v.(马)腾跃( prance的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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23
whined
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v.哀号( whine的过去式和过去分词 );哀诉,诉怨 | |
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24
audition
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n.(对志愿艺人等的)面试(指试读、试唱等) | |
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pointed
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adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
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haughtily
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adv. 傲慢地, 高傲地 | |
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bind
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vt.捆,包扎;装订;约束;使凝固;vi.变硬 | |
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extricate
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v.拯救,救出;解脱 | |
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29
shrugged
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vt.耸肩(shrug的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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rubicund
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adj.(脸色)红润的 | |
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knack
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n.诀窍,做事情的灵巧的,便利的方法 | |
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chuckled
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轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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forth
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adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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gasped
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v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 );喘息;倒抽气;很想要 | |
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exertion
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n.尽力,努力 | |
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screeched
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v.发出尖叫声( screech的过去式和过去分词 );发出粗而刺耳的声音;高叫 | |
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drenched
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adj.湿透的;充满的v.使湿透( drench的过去式和过去分词 );在某人(某物)上大量使用(某液体) | |
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