Chapter 82

THE FIRST THING I DID was go up to the hill overlooking town where my infant son, Phillipe, lay buried.

I knelt by his grave and crossed myself. Your mother spoke¹ of you in her last breath. There I sat, on the hard earth. Dear, sweet Phillipe.

I still did not know what these sons of bitches wanted with me. What they thought I possessed², which clearly I didn't. Why my wife and son had to die.

I dug up the objects I had brought back from the Crusade and spilled them onto the grass.

The gilded³ perfume box I had bought for Sophie in Constantinople... How sure I had been that I would bring it back to her with pride. Just thinking of all that had happened-Nico, Robert, Sophie-I felt my eyes fill up.

I looked at the inlaid scabbard with the writing I had found crossing the mountains. Then the gold cross I had taken from the church. Were these the treasures? The things that cursed me? If I gave them back, would they leave me, and the town, alone?

A wave of anger swept over me, mixed with grief and tears.Which are you? I screamed at the pieces. Which is the thing that caused my wife and son to die?

I picked up the cross and went to hurl⁴ it into the trees. Trinkets! Baubles⁵! None of it worth the lives of my wife and son!

Then I held back, remembering Sophie's last words: Don't give them what they want.

Don't give them what, Sophie? Don't give them what?

I sat by my Phillipe's grave and cried, my fingers digging into my scalp. Don't give them what? I whispered over and over again.

Finally, I pulled myself up, spent and exhausted⁶. I gathered the things and laid them in the hole, replacing the displaced earth. I took a deep breath and said good-bye.

Don't give them what they want.

All right,Sophie. I won't.

Because I don't know what in God's name it could be.

1 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

2 possessed   

adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的

参考例句：

• He flew out of the room like a man possessed.他像着了魔似地猛然冲出房门。
• He behaved like someone possessed.他行为举止像是魔怔了。

3 gilded   

a.镀金的，富有的

参考例句：

• The golden light gilded the sea. 金色的阳光使大海如金子般闪闪发光。
• "Friends, they are only gilded disks of lead!" "朋友们，这只不过是些镀金的铅饼！ 来自英汉文学 - 败坏赫德莱堡

4 hurl   

vt.猛投，力掷，声叫骂

参考例句：

• The best cure for unhappiness is to hurl yourself into your work.医治愁苦的最好办法就是全身心地投入工作。
• To hurl abuse is no way to fight.谩骂决不是战斗。

5 baubles   

n.小玩意( bauble的名词复数 )；华而不实的小件装饰品；无价值的东西；丑角的手杖

参考例句：

• The clothing category also includes jewelry and similar baubles. 服饰大类也包括珠宝与类似的小玩意。 来自互联网
• The shop sells baubles as well. 这家商店也销售廉价珠宝。 来自互联网

6 exhausted   

adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的

参考例句：

• It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长，到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
• Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。