Chapter 43

Yet I thought I saw her stand,

A shadow there at my feet,

High over the shadowy land.

—tennyson, Maud (1855)

 

 

Perhaps one can find more color for the myth of a rational human behavior in an iron age like the Victorian than in most others. Charles had certainly decided¹, after his night of rebellion, to go through with his marriage to Ernestina. It had never seriously entered his mind that he would not; Ma Terpsichore’s and the prostitute had but been, unlikely though it may seem, confirmations² of that intention—last petulant³ doubts of a thing concluded, last questionings of the unquestionable. He had said as much to himself on his queasy⁴ return home, which may explain the rough treatment Sam received. As for Sarah ... the other Sarah had been her surrogate, her sad and sordid⁵ end, and his awakening⁶.

For all that, he could have wished her letter had shown a clearer guilt—that she had asked for money (but she could hardly have spent ten pounds in so short a time), or poured out her illicit⁷ feelings for him. But it is difficult to read either passion or despair into the three words. “Endicott’s Family Hotel”; and not even a date, an initial! It was certainly an act of disobedience, a by-passing of Aunt Tranter; but she could hardly be arraigned⁸ for knocking on his door.

It was easy to decide that the implicit⁹ invitation must be ignored: he must never see her again. But perhaps Sarah the prostitute had reminded Charles of the uniqueness of Sarah the outcast: that total absence of finer feeling in the one only affirmed its astonishing survival in the other. How shrewd and sensitive she was, in her strange way . . . some of those things she had said after her confession—they haunted one.

He thought a great deal—if recollection is thought—about Sarah on the long journey down to the West. He could not but feel that to have committed her to an institution, howev-er enlightened, would have been a betrayal. I say “her,” but the pronoun is one of the most terrifying masks man has invented; what came to Charles was not a pronoun, but eyes, looks, the line of the hair over a temple, a nimble step, a sleeping face. All this was not daydreaming¹⁰, of course; but earnest consideration of a moral problem and caused by an augustly pure solicitude¹¹ for the unfortunate woman’s future welfare.

The train drew into Exeter. Sam appeared, within a brief pause of its final stopping whistle, at the window of the compartment¹²; he of course had traveled in the third class.

“Are we stayin’ the night, Mr. Charles?”

“No. A carriage. A four-wheeler. It looks like rain.”

Sam had bet himself a thousand pounds that they would stay in Exeter. But he obeyed without hesitation¹³, just as his master had, at the sight of Sam’s face, decided—and somewhere deep in him a decision had remained to take— without hesitation on his course of action. It was really Sam that had determined¹⁴ it: Charles could not face any more prevarication¹⁵.

It was only when they were already drawing through the eastern outskirts¹⁶ of the city that Charles felt a sense of sadness and of loss, of having now cast the fatal die. It seemed to him astounding¹⁷ that one simple decision, one answer to a trivial question, should determine so much. Until that moment, all had been potential; now all was inexorably fixed¹⁸. He had done the moral, the decent, the correct thing; and yet it seemed to betray in him some inherent weakness, some willingness to accept his fate, which he knew, by one of those premonitions that are as certain as facts, would one day lead him into the world of commerce; into pleasing Ernestina because she would want to please her father, to whom he owed so much ... he stared at the countryside they had now entered and felt himself sucked slowly through it as if down some monstrous¹⁹ pipe.

The carriage rolled on, a loosened spring creaking a little at each jolt²⁰, as mournfully as a tumbril. The evening sky was overcast²¹ and it had begun to drizzle²². In such circumstances, traveling on his own, Charles would usually have called Sam down and let him sit inside. But he could not face Sam (not that Sam, who saw nothing but gold on the wet road to Lyme, minded the ostracism). It was as if he would never have solitude²³ again. What little was left, he must enjoy. He thought again of the woman he had left in the city behind them. He thought of her not, of course, as an alternative to Ernestina; nor as someone he might, had he chosen, have married instead. That would never have been possible. Indeed it was hardly Sarah he now thought of—she was merely the symbol around which had accreted²⁴ all his lost possibilities, his extinct freedoms, his never-to-be-taken journeys. He had to say farewell to something; she was merely and conveniently both close and receding²⁵.

There was no doubt. He was one of life’s victims, one more ammonite caught in the vast movements of history, stranded²⁶ now for eternity²⁷, a potential turned to a fossil.

After a while he committed the ultimate weakness: he fell asleep.

1 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

2 confirmations   

证实( confirmation的名词复数 )； 证据； 确认； （基督教中的）坚信礼

参考例句：

• Never use transitory dialogs as error messages or confirmations. 绝不要用临时对话框作为错误信息框或确认信息框。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓
• Dismissing confirmations thus becomes as routine as issuing them. 因此关闭确认对话框和发起确认对话框一样成为例行公事。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓

3 petulant   

adj.性急的，暴躁的

参考例句：

• He picked the pen up with a petulant gesture.他生气地拿起那支钢笔。
• The thing had been remarked with petulant jealousy by his wife.

4 queasy   

adj.易呕的

参考例句：

• I felt a little queasy on the ship.我在船上觉得有点晕眩想呕吐。
• He was very prone to seasickness and already felt queasy.他快晕船了，已经感到恶心了。

5 sordid   

adj.肮脏的，不干净的，卑鄙的，暗淡的

参考例句：

• He depicts the sordid and vulgar sides of life exclusively.他只描写人生肮脏和庸俗的一面。
• They lived in a sordid apartment.他们住在肮脏的公寓房子里。

6 awakening   

n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的

参考例句：

• the awakening of interest in the environment 对环境产生的兴趣
• People are gradually awakening to their rights. 人们正逐渐意识到自己的权利。

7 illicit   

adj.非法的，禁止的，不正当的

参考例句：

• He had an illicit association with Jane.他和简曾有过不正当关系。
• Seizures of illicit drugs have increased by 30% this year.今年违禁药品的扣押增长了30%。

8 arraigned   

v.告发( arraign的过去式和过去分词 )；控告；传讯；指责

参考例句：

• He was arraigned for murder. 他因谋杀罪而被提讯。
• She was arraigned for high treason. 她被控叛国罪。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

9 implicit   

a.暗示的，含蓄的，不明晰的，绝对的

参考例句：

• A soldier must give implicit obedience to his officers. 士兵必须绝对服从他的长官。
• Her silence gave implicit consent. 她的沉默表示默许。

10 daydreaming   

v.想入非非，空想( daydream的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Stop daydreaming and be realistic. 别空想了，还是从实际出发吧。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• Bill was sitting and daydreaming so his mother told him to come down to earth and to do his homework. 比尔坐着空想， 他母亲要他面对现实，去做课外作业。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

11 solicitude   

n.焦虑

参考例句：

• Your solicitude was a great consolation to me.你对我的关怀给了我莫大的安慰。
• He is full of tender solicitude towards my sister.他对我妹妹满心牵挂。

12 compartment   

n.卧车包房，隔间；分隔的空间

参考例句：

• We were glad to have the whole compartment to ourselves.真高兴，整个客车隔间由我们独享。
• The batteries are safely enclosed in a watertight compartment.电池被安全地置于一个防水的隔间里。

13 hesitation   

n.犹豫，踌躇

参考例句：

• After a long hesitation, he told the truth at last.踌躇了半天，他终于直说了。
• There was a certain hesitation in her manner.她的态度有些犹豫不决。

14 determined   

adj.坚定的；有决心的

参考例句：

• I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
• He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。

15 prevarication   

n.支吾；搪塞；说谎；有枝有叶

参考例句：

• The longer negotiations drag on, the greater the risk of permanent prevarication. 谈判拖延的时间越久，长期推诿责任的可能性就越大。 来自互联网
• The result can be a lot of needless prevarication. 结果就是带来一堆的借口。 来自互联网

16 outskirts   

n.郊外，郊区

参考例句：

• Our car broke down on the outskirts of the city.我们的汽车在市郊出了故障。
• They mostly live on the outskirts of a town.他们大多住在近郊。

17 astounding   

adj.使人震惊的vt.使震惊，使大吃一惊astound的现在分词)

参考例句：

• There was an astounding 20% increase in sales. 销售量惊人地增加了20%。
• The Chairman's remarks were so astounding that the audience listened to him with bated breath. 主席说的话令人吃惊，所以听众都屏息听他说。 来自《简明英汉词典》

18 fixed   

adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的

参考例句：

• Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗？
• Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定，我们就不应该随意改变。

19 monstrous   

adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的

参考例句：

• The smoke began to whirl and grew into a monstrous column.浓烟开始盘旋上升，形成了一个巨大的烟柱。
• Your behaviour in class is monstrous!你在课堂上的行为真是丢人！

20 jolt   

v.（使）摇动，（使）震动，（使）颠簸

参考例句：

• We were worried that one tiny jolt could worsen her injuries.我们担心稍微颠簸一下就可能会使她的伤势恶化。
• They were working frantically in the fear that an aftershock would jolt the house again.他们拼命地干着，担心余震可能会使房子再次受到震动。

21 overcast   

adj.阴天的，阴暗的，愁闷的；v.遮盖，（使）变暗，包边缝；n.覆盖，阴天

参考例句：

• The overcast and rainy weather found out his arthritis.阴雨天使他的关节炎发作了。
• The sky is overcast with dark clouds.乌云满天。

22 drizzle   

v.下毛毛雨；n.毛毛雨，蒙蒙细雨

参考例句：

• The shower tailed off into a drizzle.阵雨越来越小，最后变成了毛毛雨。
• Yesterday the radio forecast drizzle,and today it is indeed raining.昨天预报有小雨，今天果然下起来了。

23 solitude   

n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方

参考例句：

• People need a chance to reflect on spiritual matters in solitude. 人们需要独处的机会来反思精神上的事情。
• They searched for a place where they could live in solitude. 他们寻找一个可以过隐居生活的地方。

24 accreted   

v.共生( accrete的过去式和过去分词 )；合生；使依附；使连接

参考例句：

• The story accreted emotion. 这个故事使人精神亢奋。 来自互联网
• Imperial shrimp accreted with sea cucumber. 寄生在海参身上的帝王虾。 来自互联网

25 receding   

v.逐渐远离( recede的现在分词 )；向后倾斜；自原处后退或避开别人的注视；尤指问题

参考例句：

• Desperately he struck out after the receding lights of the yacht. 游艇的灯光渐去渐远，他拼命划水追赶。 来自辞典例句
• Sounds produced by vehicles receding from us seem lower-pitched than usual. 渐渐远离我们的运载工具发出的声似乎比平常的音调低。 来自辞典例句

26 stranded   

a.搁浅的，进退两难的

参考例句：

• He was stranded in a strange city without money. 他流落在一个陌生的城市里， 身无分文，一筹莫展。
• I was stranded in the strange town without money or friends. 我困在那陌生的城市，既没有钱，又没有朋友。

27 eternity   

n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷

参考例句：

• The dull play seemed to last an eternity.这场乏味的剧似乎演个没完没了。
• Finally,Ying Tai and Shan Bo could be together for all of eternity.英台和山伯终能双宿双飞，永世相随。