Chapter 54

My wind is turned to bitter north

That was so soft a south before

—A. H. Clough, Poem (1841)

 

 

In fairness to Charles it must be said that he sent to find Sam before he left the White Lion. But the servant was not in the taproom or the stables. Charles guessed indeed where he was. He could not send there; and thus he left Lyme without seeing him again. He got into his four-wheeler in the yard, and promptly¹ drew down the blinds. Two hearse-like miles passed before he opened them again, and let the slanting² evening sunlight, for it was now five o’clock, brighten the dingy³ paintwork and upholstery of the carriage.

It did not immediately brighten Charles’s spirits. Yet grad-ually, as he continued to draw away from Lyme, he felt as if a burden had been lifted off his shoulders; a defeat suffered, and yet he had survived it. Grogan’s solemn warning—that the rest of his life must be lived in proof of the justice of what he had done—he accepted. But among the rich green fields and May hedgerows of the Devon countryside it was difficult not to see the future as fertile—a new life lay ahead of him, great challenges, but he would rise to them. His guilt⁴ seemed almost beneficial: its expiation⁵ gave his life its hither-to lacking purpose.

An image from ancient Egypt entered his mind—a sculp-ture in the British Museum, showing a pharaoh standing⁶ be-side his wife, who had her arm round his waist, with her other hand on his forearm. It had always seemed to Charles a perfect emblem⁷ of conjugal⁸ harmony, not least since the figures were carved from the same block of stone. He and Sarah were not yet carved into that harmony; but they were of the same stone.

He gave himself then to thoughts of the future, to practi-cal arrangements. Sarah must be suitably installed in London. They should go abroad as soon as his affairs could be settled, the Kensington house got rid of, his things stored ... perhaps Germany first, then south in winter to Florence or Rome (if the civil conditions allowed) or perhaps Spain. Granada! The Alhambra! Moonlight, the distant sound below of singing gypsies, such grateful, tender eyes ... and in some jasmine-scented room they would lie awake, in each other’s arms, infinitely⁹ alone, exiled, yet fused in that loneliness, insepara-ble in that exile.

 

Night had fallen. Charles craned out and saw the distant lights of Exeter. He called out to the driver to take him first to Endicott’s Family Hotel. Then he leaned back and reveled in the scene that was to come. Nothing carnal should disfig-ure it, of course; that at least he owed to Ernestina as much as to Sarah. But he once again saw an exquisite¹⁰ tableau¹¹ of tender silence, her hands in his ...

They arrived. Telling the man to wait Charles entered the hotel and knocked on Mrs. Endicott’s door.

“Oh it’s you, sir.”

“Miss Woodruff expects me. I will find my own way.”

Already he was turning away towards the stairs.

“The young lady’s left, sir!”

“Left! You mean gone out?”

“No, sir. I mean left.” He stared weakly at her. “She took the London train this morning, sir.”

“But I ... are you sure?”

“Sure as I’m standing here, sir. I distinctly heard her say the railway station to the cabman, sir. And he asked what train, and she said, plain as I’m speaking to you now, the London.” The plump old lady came forward. “Well I was surprised myself, sir. Her with three days still paid on her room.”

“But did she leave no address?”

“Not a line, sir. Not a word to me where she was going.” That black mark very evidently cancelled the good one merited by not asking for three days’ money back.

“No message was left for me?”

“I thought it might very likely be you she was a-going off with, sir. That’s what I took the liberty to presume.”

To stand longer there became an impossibility. “Here is my card. If you hear from her—if you would let me know. Without fail. Here. Something for the service and postage.”

Mrs. Endicott smiled ingratiatingly. “Oh thank you, sir. Without fail.”

He went out; and as soon came back.

“This morning—a manservant, did he not come with a letter and packet for Miss Woodruff?” Mrs. Endicott looked blank. “Shortly after eight o’clock?” Still the proprietress looked blank. Then she called for Betsy Anne, who appeared and was severely¹² cross-examined by her mistress ... that is, until Charles abruptly¹³ left.

He sank back into his carriage and closed his eyes. He felt without volition¹⁴, plunged¹⁵ into a state of abulia. If only he had not been so scrupulous¹⁶, if only he had come straight back after ... but Sam. Sam! A thief! A spy! Had he been tempted¹⁷ into Mr. Freeman’s pay? Or was his crime explicable as resentment¹⁸ over those wretched three hundred pounds? How well did Charles now understand the scene in Lyme— Sam must have realized he would be discovered as soon as they returned to Exeter; must therefore have read his letter ... Charles flushed a deep red in the darkness. He would break the man’s neck if he ever saw him again. For a moment he even contemplated¹⁹ going to a police station office and charging him with ... well, theft at any rate. But at once he saw the futility²⁰ of that. And what good would it do in the essential: the discovery of Sarah?

He saw only one light in the gloom that descended²¹ on him. She had gone to London; she knew he lived in London. But if her motive²² was to come, as Grogan had once suggested, knocking on his door, would not that motive rather have driven her back to Lyme, where she supposed him to be? And had he not decided²³ that all her intentions were honor-able? Must it not seem to her that he was renounced²⁴, and lost, forever? The one light flickered²⁵, and went out.

He did something that night he had not done for many years. He knelt by his bed and prayed; and the substance of his prayer was that he would find her; if he searched for the rest of his life, he would find her.

1 promptly   

adv.及时地，敏捷地

参考例句：

• He paid the money back promptly.他立即还了钱。
• She promptly seized the opportunity his absence gave her.她立即抓住了因他不在场给她创造的机会。

2 slanting   

倾斜的，歪斜的

参考例句：

• The rain is driving [slanting] in from the south. 南边潲雨。
• The line is slanting to the left. 这根线向左斜了。

3 dingy   

adj.昏暗的，肮脏的

参考例句：

• It was a street of dingy houses huddled together. 这是一条挤满了破旧房子的街巷。
• The dingy cottage was converted into a neat tasteful residence.那间脏黑的小屋已变成一个整洁雅致的住宅。

4 guilt   

n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责

参考例句：

• She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
• Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。

5 expiation   

n.赎罪，补偿

参考例句：

• 'served him right,'said Drouet afterward, even in view of her keen expiation of her error. “那是他活该，"这一场结束时杜洛埃说，尽管那个妻子已竭力要赎前愆。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
• Jesus made expiation for our sins on the cross. 耶稣在十字架上为我们赎了罪。 来自互联网

6 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

7 emblem   

n.象征，标志；徽章

参考例句：

• Her shirt has the company emblem on it.她的衬衫印有公司的标记。
• The eagle was an emblem of strength and courage.鹰是力量和勇气的象征。

8 conjugal   

adj.婚姻的，婚姻性的

参考例句：

• Conjugal visits are banned,so marriages break down.配偶访问是禁止的，罪犯的婚姻也因此破裂。
• Conjugal fate is something delicate.缘分，其实是一种微妙的东西。

9 infinitely   

adv.无限地，无穷地

参考例句：

• There is an infinitely bright future ahead of us.我们有无限光明的前途。
• The universe is infinitely large.宇宙是无限大的。

10 exquisite   

adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的

参考例句：

• I was admiring the exquisite workmanship in the mosaic.我当时正在欣赏镶嵌画的精致做工。
• I still remember the exquisite pleasure I experienced in Bali.我依然记得在巴厘岛所经历的那种剧烈的快感。

11 tableau   

n.画面，活人画（舞台上活人扮的静态画面）

参考例句：

• The movie was a tableau of a soldier's life.这部电影的画面生动地描绘了军人的生活。
• History is nothing more than a tableau of crimes and misfortunes.历史不过是由罪恶和灾难构成的静止舞台造型罢了。

12 severely   

adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地

参考例句：

• He was severely criticized and removed from his post.他受到了严厉的批评并且被撤了职。
• He is severely put down for his careless work.他因工作上的粗心大意而受到了严厉的批评。

13 abruptly   

adv.突然地，出其不意地

参考例句：

• He gestured abruptly for Virginia to get in the car.他粗鲁地示意弗吉尼亚上车。
• I was abruptly notified that a half-hour speech was expected of me.我突然被通知要讲半个小时的话。

14 volition   

n.意志；决意

参考例句：

• We like to think that everything we do and everything we think is a product of our volition.我们常常认为我们所做和所想的一切都出自自己的意愿。
• Makin said Mr Coombes had gone to the police of his own volition.梅金说库姆斯先生是主动去投案的。

15 plunged   

v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降

参考例句：

• The train derailed and plunged into the river. 火车脱轨栽进了河里。
• She lost her balance and plunged 100 feet to her death. 她没有站稳，从100英尺的高处跌下摔死了。

16 scrupulous   

adj.审慎的，小心翼翼的，完全的，纯粹的

参考例句：

• She is scrupulous to a degree.她非常谨慎。
• Poets are not so scrupulous as you are.诗人并不像你那样顾虑多。

17 tempted   

v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词）

参考例句：

• I was sorely tempted to complain, but I didn't. 我极想发牢骚，但还是没开口。
• I was tempted by the dessert menu. 甜食菜单馋得我垂涎欲滴。

18 resentment   

n.怨愤，忿恨

参考例句：

• All her feelings of resentment just came pouring out.她一股脑儿倾吐出所有的怨恨。
• She cherished a deep resentment under the rose towards her employer.她暗中对她的雇主怀恨在心。

19 contemplated   

adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式

参考例句：

• The doctor contemplated the difficult operation he had to perform. 医生仔细地考虑他所要做的棘手的手术。
• The government has contemplated reforming the entire tax system. 政府打算改革整个税收体制。

20 futility   

n.无用

参考例句：

• She could see the utter futility of trying to protest. 她明白抗议是完全无用的。
• The sheer futility of it all exasperates her. 它毫无用处，这让她很生气。

21 descended   

a.为...后裔的，出身于...的

参考例句：

• A mood of melancholy descended on us. 一种悲伤的情绪袭上我们的心头。
• The path descended the hill in a series of zigzags. 小路呈连续的之字形顺着山坡蜿蜒而下。

22 motive   

n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的

参考例句：

• The police could not find a motive for the murder.警察不能找到谋杀的动机。
• He had some motive in telling this fable.他讲这寓言故事是有用意的。

23 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

24 renounced   

v.声明放弃( renounce的过去式和过去分词 )；宣布放弃；宣布与…决裂；宣布摒弃

参考例句：

• We have renounced the use of force to settle our disputes. 我们已再次宣布放弃使用武力来解决争端。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Andrew renounced his claim to the property. 安德鲁放弃了财产的所有权。 来自《简明英汉词典》

25 flickered   

（通常指灯光）闪烁，摇曳( flicker的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The lights flickered and went out. 灯光闪了闪就熄了。
• These lights flickered continuously like traffic lights which have gone mad. 这些灯象发狂的交通灯一样不停地闪动着。