Evolution is simply the process by which chance (the random1 mutations in the nucleic acid helix caused by natural radiation) cooperates with natural law to cre-ate living forms better and better adapted to survive.
—Martin Gardner, The Ambidextrous2 Universe (1967)
True piety3 is acting4 what one knows.
—Matthew Arnold, Notebooks (1868)
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It is a time-proven rule of the novelist’s craft never to introduce any but very minor5 new characters at the end of a book. I hope Lalage may be forgiven; but the extremely important-looking person that has, during the last scene, been leaning against the parapet of the embankment across the way from 16 Cheyne Walk, the residence of Mr. Dante Gabriel Rossetti (who took—and died of—chloral, by the way, not opium) may seem at first sight to represent a gross breach6 of the rule. I did not want to introduce him; but since he is the sort of man who cannot bear to be left out of the limelight, the kind of man who travels first class or not at all, for whom the first is the only pronoun, who in short has first things on the brain, and since I am the kind of man who refuses to intervene in nature (even the worst), he has got himself in—or as he would put it, has got himself in as he really is. I shall not labor7 the implication that he was previ-ously got in as he really wasn’t, and is therefore not truly a new character at all; but rest assured that this personage is, in spite of appearances, a very minor figure—as minimal8, in fact, as a gamma-ray particle.
As he really is….and his true colors are not pleasant ones. The once full, patriarchal beard of the railway com-partment has been trimmed down to something rather fop-pish and Frenchified. There is about the clothes, in the lavishly9 embroidered10 summer waistcoat, in the three rings on the fingers, the panatella in its amber11 holder12, the malachite-headed cane13, a distinct touch of the flashy. He looks very much as if he has given up preaching and gone in for grand opera; and done much better at the latter than the former. There is, in short, more than a touch of the successful impresario14 about him.
And now, as he negligently15 supports himself on the para-pet, he squeezes the tip of his nose lightly between the knuckles16 of his beringed first and middle fingers. One has the impression he can hardly contain his amusement. He is star-ing back towards Mr. Rossetti’s house; and with an almost proprietory air, as if it is some new theater he has just bought and is pretty confident he can fill. In this he has not changed: he very evidently regards the world as his to possess and use as he likes.
But now he straightens. This flanerie in Chelsea has been a pleasant interlude, but more important business awaits him. He takes out his watch—a Breguet—and selects a small key from a vast number on a second gold chain. He makes a small adjustment to the time. It seems—though unusual in an instrument from the bench of the greatest of watchmakers— that he was running a quarter of an hour fast. It is doubly strange, for there is no visible clock by which he could have discovered the error in his own timepiece. But the reason may be guessed. He is meanly providing himself with an excuse for being late at his next appointment. A certain kind of tycoon17 cannot bear to seem at fault over even the most trivial matters.
He beckons18 peremptorily19 with his cane towards an open landau that waits some hundred yards away. It trots20 smartly up to the curb21 beside him. The footman springs down and opens the door. The impresario mounts, sits, leans expansive-ly back against the crimson22 leather, dismisses the mono-grammed rug the footman offers towards his legs. The footman catches the door to, bows, then rejoins his fellow servant on the box. An instruction is called out, the coachman touches his cockaded hat with his whip handle.
And the equipage draws briskly away.
“No. It is as I say. You have not only planted the dagger23 in my breast, you have delighted in twisting it.” She stood now staring at Charles, as if against her will, but hypnotized, the defiant24 criminal awaiting sentence. He pronounced it. “A day will come when you shall be called to account for what you have done to me. And if there is justice in heaven—your punishment shall outlast25 eternity26!”
He hesitated one last second; his face was like the poised-crumbling walls of a dam, so vast was the weight of anathe-ma pressing to roar down. But as suddenly as she had looked guilty, he ground his jaws27 shut, turned on his heel and marched towards the door.
“Mr. Smithson!”
He took a step or two more; stopped, threw her a look back over his shoulder; and then with the violence of a determined28 unforgivingness, stared at the foot of the door in front of him. He heard the light rustle29 of her clothes. She stood just behind him.
“Is this not proof of what I said just now? That we had better never to have set eyes on each other again?”
“Your logic30 assumes that I knew your real nature. I did not.”
“Are you sure?”
“I thought your mistress in Lyme a selfish and bigoted31 woman. I now perceive she was a saint compared to her companion.”
“And I should not be selfish if I said, knowing I cannot love you as a wife must, you may marry me?”
Charles gave her a freezing look. “There was a time when you spoke32 of me as your last resource. As your one remain-ing hope in life. Our situations are now reversed. You have no time for me. Very well. But don’t try to defend yourself. It can only add malice33 to an already sufficient injury.”
It had been in his mind all through: his most powerful, though also his most despicable, argument. And as he said it, he could not hide his trembling, his being at the end of his tether, at least as regards his feeling of outrage34. He threw her one last tortured look, then forced himself onward35 to open the door.
“Mr. Smithson!”
Again. And now he felt her hand on his arm. A second time he stood arrested, hating that hand, his weakness in letting it paralyze him. It was as if she were trying to tell him something she could not say in words. No more, perhaps, than a gesture of regret, of apology. Yet if it had been that, her hand would surely have fallen as soon as it touched him; and this not only psychologically, but physically36 detained him. Very slowly he brought his head round and looked at her; and to his shock saw that there was in her eyes, if not about her lips, a suggestion of a smile, a ghost of that one he had received before, so strangely, when they were nearly surprised by Sam and Mary. Was it irony37, a telling him not to take life so seriously? A last gloating over his misery38? But there again, as he probed her with his own distressed39 and totally humorless eyes, her hand should surely have dropped. Yet still he felt its pressure on his arm; as if she were saying, look, can you not see, a solution exists?
It came upon him. He looked down to her hand, and then up to the face again. Slowly, as if in answer, her cheeks were suffused40 with red, and the smile drained from her eyes. Her hand fell to her side. And they remained staring at each other as if their clothes had suddenly dropped away and left them facing each other in nakedness; but to him far less a sexual nakedness than a clinical one, one in which the hidden cancer stood revealed in all its loathsome41 reality. He sought her eyes for some evidence of her real intentions, and found only a spirit prepared to sacrifice everything but itself— ready to surrender truth, feeling, perhaps even all womanly modesty42 in order to save its own integrity. And there, in that possible eventual43 sacrifice, he was for a moment tempted44. He could see a fear behind the now clear knowledge that she had made a false move; and that to accept her offer of a Platonic45 —and even if one day more intimate, never consecrated— friendship would be to hurt her most.
But he no sooner saw that than he saw the reality of such an arrangement—how he would become the secret butt46 of this corrupt47 house, the starched48 soupirant, the pet donkey. He saw his own true superiority to her: which was not of birth or education, not of intelligence, not of sex, but of an ability to give that was also an inability to compromise. She could give only to possess; and to possess him—whether because he was what he was, whether because possession was so imperative49 in her that it had to be constantly renewed, could never be satisfied by one conquest only, whether ... but he could not, and would never, know—to possess him was not enough.
And he saw finally that she knew he would refuse. From the first she had manipulated him. She would do so to the end.
He threw her one last burning look of rejection50, then left the room. She made no further attempt to detain him. He stared straight ahead, as if the pictures on the walls down through which he passed were so many silent spectators. He was the last honorable man on the way to the scaffold. He had a great desire to cry; but nothing should wring51 tears from him in that house. And to cry out. As he came down to the hallway, the girl who had shown him up appeared from a room, holding a small child in her arms. She opened her mouth to speak. Charles’s wild yet icy look silenced her. He left the house.
And at the gate, the future made present, found he did not know where to go. It was as if he found himself reborn, though with all his adult faculties52 and memories. But with the baby’s helplessness—all to be recommenced, all to be learned again! He crossed the road obliquely53, blindly, never once looking back, to the embankment. It was deserted54; only, in the distance, a trotting55 landau, which had turned out of sight by the tune56 he reached the parapet.
Without knowing why he stared down at the gray river, now close, at high tide. It meant return to America; it meant thirty-four years of struggling upwards—all in vain, in vain, in vain, all height lost; it meant, of this he was sure, a celibacy57 of the heart as total as hers; it meant—and as all the things that it meant, both prospective58 and retrospective, be-gan to sweep down over him ha a black avalanche59, he did at last turn and look back at the house he had left. At an open upstairs window a white net curtain seemed to fall back into place.
But it was indeed only a seeming, a mere60 idle movement of the May wind. For Sarah has remained in the studio, staring down at the garden below, at a child and a young woman, the child’s mother perhaps, who sit on the grass engaged in making a daisy chain. There are tears in her eyes? She is too far away for me to tell; no more now, since the windowpanes catch the luminosity of the summer sky, than a shadow behind a light.
You may think, of course, that not to accept the offer implicit61 in that detaining hand was Charles’s final foolishness; that it betrayed at least a certain weakness of purpose in Sarah’s attitude. You may think that she was right: that her battle for territory was a legitimate62 uprising of the invaded against the perennial63 invader64. But what you must not think is that this is a less plausible65 ending to their story.
For I have returned, albeit66 deviously67, to my original prin-ciple: that there is no intervening god beyond whatever can be seen, in that way, in the first epigraph to this chapter; thus only life as we have, within our hazard-given abilities, made it ourselves, life as Marx defined it—the actions of men (and of women) in pursuit of their ends. The fundamental princi-ple that should guide these actions, that I believe myself always guided Sarah’s, I have set as the second epigraph. A modern existentialist would no doubt substitute “humanity” or “authenticity” for “piety”; but he would recognize Ar-nold’s intent.
The river of life, of mysterious laws and mysterious choice, flows past a deserted embankment; and along that other deserted embankment Charles now begins to pace, a man behind the invisible gun carriage on which rests his own corpse68. He walks towards an imminent69, self-given death? I think not; for he has at last found an atom of faith in himself, a true uniqueness, on which to build; has already begun, though he would still bitterly deny it, though there are tears in his eyes to support his denial, to realize that life, however advantageously Sarah may in some ways seem to fit the role of Sphinx, is not a symbol, is not one riddle70 and one failure to guess it, is not to inhabit one face alone or to be given up after one losing throw of the dice71; but is to be, however inadequately72, emptily, hopelessly into the city’s iron heart, endured. And out again, upon the unplumb’d, salt, estranging73 sea.
End
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random
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| adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
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ambidextrous
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| adj.双手很灵巧的，熟练的，两面派的 | |
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piety
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| n.虔诚，虔敬 | |
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acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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minor
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| adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修 | |
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breach
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| n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破 | |
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labor
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| n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦 | |
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minimal
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| adj.尽可能少的，最小的 | |
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lavishly
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| adv.慷慨地，大方地 | |
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embroidered
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| adj．绣花的 | |
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amber
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| n.琥珀；琥珀色；adj.琥珀制的 | |
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holder
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| n.持有者，占有者；(台，架等)支持物 | |
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cane
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| n.手杖，细长的茎，藤条；v.以杖击，以藤编制的 | |
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impresario
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| n.歌剧团的经理人；乐团指挥 | |
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negligently
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knuckles
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| n.（指人）指关节( knuckle的名词复数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝v.（指人）指关节( knuckle的第三人称单数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝 | |
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tycoon
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| n.有钱有势的企业家，大亨 | |
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beckons
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| v.（用头或手的动作）示意，召唤( beckon的第三人称单数 ) | |
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peremptorily
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| adv.紧急地，不容分说地，专横地 | |
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trots
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| 小跑，急走( trot的名词复数 )； 匆匆忙忙地走 | |
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curb
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| n.场外证券市场，场外交易；vt.制止，抑制 | |
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crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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dagger
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| n.匕首，短剑，剑号 | |
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defiant
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| adj.无礼的，挑战的 | |
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outlast
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| v.较…耐久 | |
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eternity
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| n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷 | |
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jaws
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| n.口部；嘴 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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rustle
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| v.沙沙作响；偷盗(牛、马等)；n.沙沙声声 | |
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logic
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| n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性 | |
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bigoted
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| adj.固执己见的，心胸狭窄的 | |
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32
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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malice
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| n.恶意，怨恨，蓄意；[律]预谋 | |
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outrage
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| n.暴行，侮辱，愤怒；vt.凌辱，激怒 | |
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onward
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| adj.向前的，前进的；adv.向前，前进，在先 | |
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physically
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| adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律 | |
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irony
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| n.反语，冷嘲；具有讽刺意味的事，嘲弄 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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40
suffused
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| v.（指颜色、水气等）弥漫于，布满( suffuse的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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41
loathsome
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| adj.讨厌的，令人厌恶的 | |
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modesty
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| n.谦逊，虚心，端庄，稳重，羞怯，朴素 | |
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eventual
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| adj.最后的，结局的，最终的 | |
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tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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45
platonic
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| adj.精神的；柏拉图（哲学）的 | |
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46
butt
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| n.笑柄；烟蒂；枪托；臀部；v.用头撞或顶 | |
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47
corrupt
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| v.贿赂，收买；adj.腐败的，贪污的 | |
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48
starched
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| adj.浆硬的，硬挺的，拘泥刻板的v.把（衣服、床单等）浆一浆( starch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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49
imperative
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| n.命令，需要；规则；祈使语气；adj.强制的；紧急的 | |
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50
rejection
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| n.拒绝，被拒，抛弃，被弃 | |
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51
wring
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| n.扭绞；v.拧，绞出，扭 | |
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52
faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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53
obliquely
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| adv.斜； 倾斜； 间接； 不光明正大 | |
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54
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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55
trotting
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| 小跑，急走( trot的现在分词 )； 匆匆忙忙地走 | |
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56
tune
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| n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整 | |
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celibacy
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| n.独身(主义) | |
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prospective
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| adj.预期的，未来的，前瞻性的 | |
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59
avalanche
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| n.雪崩，大量涌来 | |
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60
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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61
implicit
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| a.暗示的，含蓄的，不明晰的，绝对的 | |
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legitimate
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| adj.合法的，合理的，合乎逻辑的；v.使合法 | |
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perennial
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| adj.终年的；长久的 | |
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64
invader
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| n.侵略者，侵犯者，入侵者 | |
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65
plausible
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| adj.似真实的，似乎有理的，似乎可信的 | |
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66
albeit
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| conj.即使；纵使；虽然 | |
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67
deviously
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| 弯曲地，绕道地 | |
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68
corpse
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| n.尸体，死尸 | |
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69
imminent
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| adj.即将发生的，临近的，逼近的 | |
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70
riddle
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| n.谜，谜语，粗筛；vt.解谜，给…出谜，筛，检查，鉴定，非难，充满于；vi.出谜 | |
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71
dice
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| n.骰子；vt.把（食物）切成小方块，冒险 | |
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72
inadequately
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| ad.不够地；不够好地 | |
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estranging
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| v.使疏远（尤指家庭成员之间）( estrange的现在分词 ) | |
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