Lying there these days, Harry1 thinks fondly of those dead bricklayers who bothered to vary their rows at the top of the three buildings across the street with such festive2 patterns of recess3 and protrusion4, diagonal and upright, casting shadows in different ways at different times of the day, these men of another century up on their scaffold, talking Pennsylvania Dutch among themselves, or were Italians doing all the masonry5 even then? Lying here thinking of all the bricks that have been piled up and knocked down and piled up again on the snug6 square streets that lift toward Mt. Judge, he tries to view his life as a brick of sorts, set in place with a slap in 1933 and hardening ever since, just one life in rows and walls and blocks of lives. There is a satisfaction in such an overview7, a faint far?off communal8 thrill, but hard to sustain over against his original and continuing impression that Brewer9 and all the world beyond are just frills on himself, like the lace around a plump satin valentine, himself the heart of the universe, like the Dalai Lama, who in the news lately ? Tibet is still restless, after nearly forty years of Chinese rule ? was reported to have offered to resign. But the offer was greeted with horror by his followers10, for whom the Dalai Lama can no more resign godhood than Harry can resign selfhood.
He watches a fair amount of television. It's right there, in front of his face; its wires come out of the wall behind him, just like oxygen. He finds that facts, not fantasies, are what he wants: the old movies on cable AMC seem stiff and barky in their harshly lit black and white, and the old TV shows on NIK impossibly tinny with their laugh tracks and spray?set Fifties hairdos, and even the incessant11 sports (rugby from Ireland, curling from Canada) a waste of his time, stories told people with time to kill, where he has time left only for truth, the truth of DSC or Channel 12, MacNeilLehrer so gravely bouncing the news between New York and Washington and reptiles12 on Smithsonian World flickering13 their forked tongues in the desert blaze or the giant turtles of Galápagos on World of Survival battling for their lives or the Russians battling the Nazis14 in the jumpy film clips of World War II as narrated15 by Sir Laurence Olivier ("Twenty million dead," he intones at the end, as the frame freezes and goes into computer?blur16 and the marrow17?chilling theme music comes up, thrilling Harry to think he was there, on the opposite side of the Northern Hemisphere, jumping on tin cans and balling up tin foil for his anti?Hitler bit, a ten?year?old participant in actual history) and War and Peace in the Nuclear Age and Nature's Way and Portraits of Power and Wonders of the World and Wildlife Chronicles and Living Body and Planet Earth and struggle and death and cheetahs18 gnawing19 wildebeests and tarantulas fencing with scorpions20 and tiny opossums scrambling21 for the right nipple under the nature photographer's harsh lights and weaverbirds making the most intricate damn nests just to attract one little choosy female and the incredible cleverness and variety and energy and waste of it all, a kind of crash course he is giving himself in the ways of the world. There is just no end to it, no end of information.
The nightly news has a lot of China on it ? Gorbachev visiting, students protesting in Tiananmen Square, but not protesting Gorbachev, in fact they like him, all the world likes him, despite that funny mark on his head shaped like Japan. What the Chinese students seem to want is freedom, they want to be like Americans, but they look like Americans already, in blue jeans and T?shirts. Meanwhile in America itself the news is that not only President George Bush but Mrs. Bush the First Lady take showers with their dog Millie, and if that's all the Chinese want we should be able to give it to them, or something close, though it makes Harry miss Reagan slightly, at least he was dignified23, and had that dream distance; the powerful thing about him as President was that you never knew how much he knew, nothing or everything, he was like God that way, you had to do a lot of it yourself. With this new one you know he knows something, but it seems a small something. Rabbit doesn't want to have to picture the President and middle?aged25 wife taking showers naked with their dog. Reagan and Nancy had their dignity, their computer?blur, even when their bowel26 polyps and breasts were being snipped27 off in view of billions.
Janice comes in at six on Tuesday while he is eating his last bland28 supper ? he is being released tomorrow. She is wearing her new coat and a gray skirt and a low?cut magenta29 blouse almost as vivid as the polka?dot dress Ruth wore in his dream. His wife looks energized30, businesslike, her salt?and?pepper hair trimmed and given body by a hairdresser who has eliminated the bangs, gelled them back into a softly bristling31 mass, parted low on one side. Janice reminds him of those heightened and rapid?talking women on television who give the news. She in fact is brimming with news. Her eyes seem to be wearing contact lenses of an unnatural32 glitter until he realizes those are tears, prepared for him during the station break.
"Oh Harry," she begins, "it's worse than we thought! Thousands and thousands!"
"Thousands of what?"
"Of dollars Nelson stole! Charlie and I and this accountant his nephew knows ? Mildred says she was too old for doing an audit33 and anyway is too busy in the nursing home ? went over there today, Charlie said I had to be there, he and the accountant weren't enough, and I asked to see the books, Nelson was there for once, and he looked at me in this heartbreaking hopeless way I'll never forget as long as I live and said, Sure, Mom, what did I want to know? He told us everything. At first, when he needed money so desperately34 for the, you know, the cocaine35, he would just write himself a check marked `Expenses' or `Operating Cash,' but Mildred, she was still around then, questioned him about it and he got scared. Anyway, these little amounts, a hundred or even two at a time, weren't really enough to keep him going, so he got the idea of offering people a discount on the used cars if they paid in cash or with a check written directly out to him."
"I told you there weren't enough used sales on the statements," Harry says, in a triumph that feels rather flat. Ever since they poked36 that catheter in, there's been something drained about his emotional responses. "How many cars did he pull this stunt37 with?"
"Well, he doesn't really remember, but Charlie says we can reconstruct it from the records, the NV?is and so on, it will just take time. Of course, Nelson didn't approach every customer with this sort of shady deal, he had to pick and choose, the ones that looked poor enough not to look a gift horse in the face. He was clever about it, Nelson is much more clever than you ever gave him credit for."
"I never said the kid wasn't clever."
"Oh, but Harry" ? the shell of tears is refreshed, the brown eyes spill, shiny trails glitter beside her blunt little knob of a nose, a nose with no more character than a drawer pull. She tugs38 a paper facial tissue from the box the hospital puts on his night table ? as she leans forward he glimpses the tops of her tidy breasts through the loose neck of the magenta peasant?style blouse he has never seen before, something she has bought for the real?estate course and these meetings with Charlie and her general stepping?out into the world, without him. He feels a flash of unpleasant heat, as in catheterization. His own wife's tits, surprising him like that. Janice dabbles39 at her face, her muddled40 mutt's face, and leans even farther forward, so he feels her breath on his face, smells some faint mint of a Life Saver. To hide the tobacco on her breath. Her tears shine under his eyes; her shaky voice is low so only he can hear. "? he didn't even stop with that. He was doing crack by this time and the amount of money he needed was incredible. He and Lyle worked out this scheme, here it gets very technical -"
"Wait," he tells her. The culinary aide has come in to remove his tray. She is a plump Hispanic woman with long red fingernails and a distinct mustache.
"You no eat enough," she scolds, with her shy smile of pearlsize teeth.
"Enough," he says. "For now. Very good. Bueno."
She has a notebook on which she writes the percentages of the food he has consumed. A third of the overcooked watery41 string beans, half the pale oval of tasteless veal42, scarcely a leaf of the coarse green salad drowned in an orange grease, a bite of the tapioca pudding, whose wobbly texture43 in his mouth made him shudder44. "For breakfast," she reads from her clipboard, "pieces pineapple, cream of wheat, whole?wheat toast, coffee decal"
"I can hardly wait," he tells her.
"Eat more now," she suggests.
He holds firm. "No thanks, too cold now. My wife's here."
She reads from the chart. "Says here last day tomorrow."
"How about that?" Harry asks her. "The big wide world. I'll miss you. And all your healthy eats. Your comestibles."
As she removes his plastic tray, her long red fingernails scrape on its underside with a noise that puts his teeth on edge. He is reminded ofthat platinum45?haired bimbo who used to tickle46 the computer keys at Fiscal47 Alternatives. Her fingernails were too long too. Dead, Lyle said. If there is an afterlife where the dead all gather, would he get a chance to deepen their acquaintance? But without money around, what would they talk about?
When the woman goes, Janice resumes. The tip of her tongue protrudes48 a second or two between her lips as she tries to think. "I'm not sure I understand it entirely49, but you know how we keep a rolling inventory50 ? so many trucks and vans and cars a month from Mid24?Atlantic Toyota in Maryland."
"Between twenty and twenty?five a month is how it's been running," Harry tells her, to let her know he may be flat on his back but knew his business. "We haven't been able to move three hundred new units a year except that one year, '86, after Nelson first took over. The strong yen's been killing51 us, and Honda and Nissan taking a bigger bite. Ford52 Ranger53 put a real dent22 in our one?ton pickup54 last year."
"Harry, try to focus. The way it was explained to me is that there's this Toyota Motors Credit Corporation in California that finances our inventory direct with Mid?Atlantic and gets paid when we sell a car and adds to our credit account when we order one for the lot. What Nelson was doing, each month he'd report one or two sales fewer than there actually were and so Toyota would roll over the indebtedness on these cars while he and Lyle put the proceeds in a separate account they'd opened up in the company name, you know how banks now are always offering you all these different accounts, savings55 and checking with savings and capital accounts with limited checks and so on. So every month we'd owe this TMCC for one or two more cars than were actually on the lot and our debt to them kept getting bigger and our actual inventory was getting smaller; in two or three years if nothing had happened we would have had no new cars in stock at all and owed Mid?Atlantic Toyota a fortune!"
"How much do we actually owe 'em?" His mind can't quite assign weight to these facts, these phantom56 Toyotas, yet. He is still thinking hospital thoughts ?the pineapple he's been promised for breakfast, and whether or not he has taken his digitalis for the evening.
"Nobody knows, Harry. Nelson doesn't exactly remember and Lyle says a lot of the disks he was keeping the accounts on have been accidentally erased57."
"Accidentally on purpose, as they used to say," he says. "What a shit. What a pair of shits."
"I know, it's horrible," Janice says, "and Lyle is horrible on the phone. He says he's dying and doesn't care what we do to him! He sounded kind of crazy in the head; isn't that one of the things that happens?" The weight of the facts hits her and bears her suddenly down into hysteria; the tears flow accompanied by sobs58 and she tries to rest her wet face on his blanketed chest, but she is too short, perched on the chair beside his high bed, and instead presses her eyes and mouth against the hard mattress59 edge, burbling her disbelief that he would do this to her.
"He" means Nelson; Harry is off the hook for once. In her grief her whole head is hot, even the top of her skull60, like a pot come to boil. He comfortingly rubs it, through her little new hairdo, and tries not to smile. Serve them both right, he thinks. Springers. Her dark hair is so fine it sticks to his fingers like cobwebs. For a good five minutes he massages61 her warm unhappy head with his fingertips while staring at the blank television screen and thinking that he is missing the six?o'clock news, followed by national news at six?thirty. Somehow he can't believe that what Janice is trying to tell him ranks with the national news, for reality. She may be his wife but she's no Connie Chung, let alone Diane Sawyer with her wide?apart blue eyes and melting mouth and stunned62 look like some beautiful blonde ox. "So what's going to happen?" he asks Janice at last.
She lifts her tear?smeared63 face and, surprisingly, has some answers. Charlie must have been coaching her. "Well, once we find out how much we owe TMCC we'll have to settle up. We've been paying interest on the inventory so they shouldn't care too much, it's like a mortgage, only Nelson has sold the house without telling them."
"If he faked any signatures, that's forgery," Harry says, and a black dye of despair is beginning to enter his heart, as he sees what a lost cause his son is. Human garbage, like his own father once said of him. He asks, "What's going to happen with the kid?"
Janice blinks her wet lashes64. What she has to say seems to her so momentous65 she withholds66 it a moment. Her voice has the juicy precision Ma Springer would speak with when she had made up her mind. "He's agreed to enter a rehab place. Immediately."
"Good, I guess. What made him agree?"
"I said it was either that or I'd fire him from the lot. And prosecute67."
"Wow. You said that? Prosecute?"
"I did, Harry. I made myself."
"To your own son?"
"I had to. He's been sinking, and he knows it. He was grateful, really. We had it out right there on the lot, out where the weeds are, while Charlie and the accountant stayed inside. Then we made some phone calls, from your old office."
"Where is this rehab place?"
"In North Philadelphia. It's the one his counsellor recommends, if he can get Nelson in. They're all overcrowded, you know. Society can't keep up. There are some day?treatment programs in Brewer but his counsellor says the important thing is to get away from the entire environment the drugs are part of."
"So he really did go to a counsellor, after that blowup with Pru. "
"Yes, to everybody's surprise. And even more surprisingly, Nelson seems to like him. Respect him. It's a black man."
Harry feels a jealous, resentful pang68. His boy is being taken over. His fatherhood hasn't been good enough. They're calling in the professionals. "For how long is the rehab?"
"The complete program is ninety days. The first month is detox and intensive therapy, and then he lives in a halfway69 house for sixty days and gets some kind of a job, a community?service sort of thing probably, just something to get him back out into the normal world."
"He'll be gone all summer. Who'll run the lot?"
Janice puts her hand over his, a gesture that feels to him learned, coached. "You will, Harry."
"Honey, I can't. I'm a sick son of a bitch."
"Charlie says your attitude is terrible. You're giving in to your heart. He says the best thing is a positive spirit and lots of activity."
"Yeah, why doesn't he come back and run the lot if he's so fucking active?"
"He has all these other fish to fry these days."
"Yeah, and you seem to be one of them. I'm hearing you sizzle."
She giggles70, along with the ugly tears drying on her face. "Don't be so silly. He's just an old friend, who's been wonderful in this crisis."
"While I've been useless, right?"
"You've been in the hospital, dear. You've been being brave in your way. Anyway as we all know there are things you can't do for me, only I can do them for myself."
He is disposed to argue this, it sounds pious71 in a new?fashioned way he distrusts, but if he's ever going to get back into the game he must let up and avoid aggravation72. He asks, "How did Nelson take your getting tough?"
"Like I said, he liked it. He's just been begging for the rest of us to take over, he knew he was way out of control. Pru is thrilled to think he's going to get help. Judy is thrilled."
"Is Roy thrilled?"
"He's too little to understand, but as you say yourself the atmosphere around that house has been poisonous."
"Did I say poisonous?"
She doesn't bother to answer. She has straightened up and is wiping her face with a licked facial tissue.
"Will I have to see the kid before he goes?"
"No, baby. He's going tomorrow morning, before we bring you home."
"Good. I just don't know as I could face him. When you think of what he's done, he's flushed the whole bunch of us, not just you and me but his kids, everybody, right down the toilet. He's sold us all out to a stupid drug."
"Well, my goodness, Harry ? I've known you to act selfishly in your life."
"Yeah, but not for a little white powder."
"They can't help it. It becomes their life. Anyway, evidently they were buying drugs for Lyle, too. I mean drugs for his illness ? medicines for AIDS you can't buy yet in this country and are terribly expensive, they have to be smuggled73."
"It's a sad story," Rabbit says, after a pause. Inky depression cir-culates in his veins74. He's been in the hospital too long. He's for-gotten what life is like. He asks Janice, "Where are you going now, in that snappy blouse?"
She rolls her eyes upward at him, from the mirror of her purse as she fixes her face, and then her face goes wooden and stubborn, bluffing75 it through. "Charlie said he'd take me out to dinner. He's worried I'm going to crash, psychologically, after all this trauma76. I need to process."
"Process?"
"Talk thins through."
"You can talk them through with me. I'm just lying here with nothing to do, I've already missed the sports section of the news."
She makes that mmmm mouth women make after putting on lipstick77, rolling her lips together in a complacent78 serious way, and tells him, "You're not impartial79. You have your own agenda with Nelson, and with me for that matter."
"What's so impartial about Charlie, he wants to get into your pants again. If he hasn't already."
She pops the lipstick back into her bomb?shaped pocketbook and touches up her new hairdo with her fingers, glancing from several angles at herself in the mirror, and snaps the lid shut. She says, "That's sweet of you, Harry, to pretend to think I'm still interesting to anybody in that way, but in fact I'm not, except maybe once in a while to my own husband, I hope."
He says, embarrassed, for he knows he's been letting her down in that department lately, "Sure, but you know, for a man, it's all a matter of blood pressure, and -"
"We'll talk about it when you're home. I told Charlie I'd meet him at seven -"
"Where? The salad bar that used to be Johnny Frye's? It's only two blocks from here. You can walk."
"No, actually. There's a new Vietnamese place out near Maiden80 Springs he wanted to try. It's a bit of a drive and, you know me, I'll probably get lost. And then on top of everything I have fifty pages of a book on British realty law, full of all these funny old obsolete81 words, I have to read before class tomorrow night."
"You won't be home tomorrow night? My first night home?" He is making a complaint of it, scoring points, but he wishes she'd go and leave him alone with the television screen.
"We'll see," Janice says, rising. "I have an idea." Then she asks, "Aren't you proud of me?" She bends forward to press her hot busy face against his. "Managing everything the way I am?"
"Yeah," he lies. He preferred her incompetent82. She leaves with her jonquil?yellow new coat over her arm and he thinks she is gaining weight behind, she has that broad?beamed look women of the county wear when they come into their own.
收听单词发音 |
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harry
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| vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼 | |
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festive
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| adj.欢宴的，节日的 | |
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recess
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| n.短期休息，壁凹（墙上装架子，柜子等凹处） | |
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protrusion
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| n.伸出，突出 | |
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masonry
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| n.砖土建筑；砖石 | |
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snug
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| adj.温暖舒适的，合身的，安全的；v.使整洁干净，舒适地依靠，紧贴；n.（英）酒吧里的私房 | |
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overview
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| n.概观，概述 | |
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communal
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| adj.公有的，公共的，公社的，公社制的 | |
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brewer
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| n. 啤酒制造者 | |
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followers
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| 追随者( follower的名词复数 )； 用户； 契据的附面； 从动件 | |
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incessant
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| adj.不停的，连续的 | |
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reptiles
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flickering
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| adj.闪烁的，摇曳的，一闪一闪的 | |
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Nazis
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narrated
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| v.故事( narrate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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blur
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| n.模糊不清的事物；vt.使模糊，使看不清楚 | |
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marrow
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| n.骨髓；精华；活力 | |
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cheetahs
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| n.（奔跑极快的）非洲猎豹( cheetah的名词复数 ) | |
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gnawing
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scorpions
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scrambling
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| v.快速爬行( scramble的现在分词 )；攀登；争夺；（军事飞机）紧急起飞 | |
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dent
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| n.凹痕，凹坑；初步进展 | |
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dignified
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| a.可敬的，高贵的 | |
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mid
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aged
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bowel
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| n.肠(尤指人肠)；内部，深处 | |
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snipped
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| v.剪( snip的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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bland
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| adj.淡而无味的，温和的，无刺激性的 | |
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magenta
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| n..紫红色（的染料）；adj.紫红色的 | |
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energized
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| v.给予…精力，能量( energize的过去式和过去分词 )；使通电 | |
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bristling
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| a.竖立的 | |
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unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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audit
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| v.审计；查帐；核对；旁听 | |
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desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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cocaine
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| n.可卡因，古柯碱（用作局部麻醉剂） | |
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poked
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| v.伸出( poke的过去式和过去分词 )；戳出；拨弄；与（某人）性交 | |
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stunt
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| n.惊人表演，绝技，特技；vt.阻碍...发育，妨碍...生长 | |
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tugs
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| n.猛拉( tug的名词复数 )；猛拖；拖船v.用力拉，使劲拉，猛扯( tug的第三人称单数 ) | |
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dabbles
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| v.涉猎( dabble的第三人称单数 )；涉足；浅尝；少量投资 | |
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muddled
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| adj.混乱的；糊涂的；头脑昏昏然的v.弄乱，弄糟( muddle的过去式)；使糊涂；对付，混日子 | |
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watery
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| adj.有水的，水汪汪的；湿的，湿润的 | |
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veal
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| n.小牛肉 | |
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texture
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| n.(织物)质地；(材料)构造；结构；肌理 | |
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shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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platinum
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| n.白金 | |
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tickle
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| v.搔痒，胳肢；使高兴；发痒；n.搔痒，发痒 | |
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fiscal
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| adj.财政的，会计的，国库的，国库岁入的 | |
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protrudes
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| v.（使某物）伸出，（使某物）突出( protrude的第三人称单数 ) | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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inventory
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| n.详细目录，存货清单 | |
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killing
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| n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财 | |
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Ford
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| n.浅滩，水浅可涉处；v.涉水，涉过 | |
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ranger
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| n.国家公园管理员，护林员；骑兵巡逻队员 | |
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pickup
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| n.拾起，获得 | |
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savings
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| n.存款，储蓄 | |
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phantom
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| n.幻影，虚位，幽灵；adj.错觉的，幻影的，幽灵的 | |
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erased
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| v.擦掉( erase的过去式和过去分词 )；抹去；清除 | |
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sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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mattress
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| n.床垫，床褥 | |
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skull
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| n.头骨；颅骨 | |
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massages
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| 按摩，推拿( massage的名词复数 ) | |
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stunned
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| adj. 震惊的，惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词 | |
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smeared
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| 弄脏； 玷污； 涂抹； 擦上 | |
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lashes
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| n.鞭挞( lash的名词复数 )；鞭子；突然猛烈的一击；急速挥动v.鞭打( lash的第三人称单数 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
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momentous
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| adj.重要的，重大的 | |
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withholds
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| v.扣留( withhold的第三人称单数 )；拒绝给予；抑制（某事物）；制止 | |
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prosecute
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| vt.告发；进行；vi.告发，起诉，作检察官 | |
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pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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halfway
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| adj.中途的，不彻底的，部分的；adv.半路地，在中途，在半途 | |
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giggles
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| n.咯咯的笑( giggle的名词复数 )；傻笑；玩笑；the giggles 止不住的格格笑v.咯咯地笑( giggle的第三人称单数 ) | |
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pious
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| adj.虔诚的；道貌岸然的 | |
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aggravation
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| n.烦恼，恼火 | |
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smuggled
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| 水货 | |
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veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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bluffing
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| n. 威吓，唬人 动词bluff的现在分词形式 | |
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trauma
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| n.外伤，精神创伤 | |
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lipstick
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| n.口红，唇膏 | |
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complacent
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| adj.自满的；自鸣得意的 | |
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impartial
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| adj.(in,to)公正的，无偏见的 | |
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maiden
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| n.少女，处女；adj.未婚的，纯洁的，无经验的 | |
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obsolete
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| adj.已废弃的，过时的 | |
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incompetent
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| adj.无能力的，不能胜任的 | |
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