'Ver-non?'
'Do what?' I yell. Mom doesn't fucken answer. A typical mother thing, they just monitor the notes of your voice. If you ask them later what you said, they don't even fucken know. Just the noises have to sound right, like, dorky enough.
'Ver-non.'
I close my closet door, and step down the hall to the kitchen, where a familiar scene plays around the breakfast bar. Leona's in the kitchen with Mom, who's messing with the oven. Brad Pritchard is on the rug in the living room, pretending you can't see his finger up his ass1. Everybody pretends they can't see it. See the way folks are? They don't want to smutten their Wint-O-Green lives by saying, 'Brad, get your fucken finger out of your goddam anus,' so they just pretend it ain't there. Same way they try and avoid the sting of mourning around this ole town. They can't, though, you know it. Their ribs2 are pressed tight with the weight of grief. The only hopeful sight is Pam, beached on dad's ole sofa at the dark end of the room. A Snickers bar appears from the folds of her moo-moo.
I go to the kitchen side of the bar, where Leona's still working up to her brags4; she has to empty Mom out first, so her voice slithers up and down, 'Oh how neat, wow, Doris, oh great,' like a foam5 sireen. Then, when Mom's all boosted up, she trumps6 her.
'Hey, did I tell you I'm getting a maid?'
Mom's mouth crinkles. 'Oh - hey.'
Hold your breath for the second thing. George blows ultra-slim cigarette smoke over Betty as they pretend to watch TV; their ultra-mild smiles come from knowing how many things there are. Mom just frets7 over the oven. Gives her somewhere to stick her fucken head if no more things turn up. A bug8 of sweat crawls down her nose, Thk,' onto the brown linoleum9.
'Yeah,' says Leona, 'she starts when I get back from Hawaii.'
The house sags10 with relief. 'Well gosh, another vacation?' asks Mom.
Leona flicks11 back her hair. 'Todd would've wanted me to do nice things, you know - while I'm young.' Like: yeah, right.
'Hell, but I can't believe today,' says George from the living room. That signals the end of the brags.
'I know, I know,' says Betty.
'You think things have gone as far as they can go, then - boom!'
'Oh golly, I know.'
'Six pounds if it's an ounce, and I only saw her last week. Six pounds in a week!' George weaves a trumpet12 of smoke around the words. Betty waves them away with her hand.
'It's that diet, all those carbs,' says Leona.
'I know,' says Betty. 'Why didn't she stick to Weight Watchers?'
'Honey,' says George, 'Vaine Gurie's lucky to stick to the seat of her damn shorts. I don't know why she tries.'
'Barry threatened her,' says Pam. 'She has a month to ditch her flab, or he's gone.'
George points her mouth into the air, so the words will fly over her head to Pam. 'Then forget Pritikin - she needs the Wilmer Plan.'
'But Georgette,' says Mom from the kitchen, 'the Wilmer didn't work for me - not yet, anyway.'
Leona and Betty level eyes at each other. George coughs quietly. 'I don't think you quite got the hang of it, Doris.'
'Well, I guess I'm still trying it out, you know … Anyway, did I tell you I ordered the side-by-side fridge?'
'Wow,' says Leona, 'the Special Edition? What color?'
Mom's eyes fall to the floor. 'Well - almond on almond.'
Look at her: flushed and shiny with sweat, hunched14 under her brown ole hair, in her brown ole kitchen. Deep inside, her organs pump double-time, trying to turn bile into strawberry milk. Outside, her brown ole life festers uselessly around the jokey red bow on her dress.
I prompt her from the laundry end. 'Ma?'
'Well there you are - go ask that TV man if he'd like a Coke, it must be ninety degrees outside.'
'The one dressed like Ricardo Moltenbomb?'
'Well he's much younger than Ricardo Montalban - isn't he, girls? And better-looking …'
'Hnf,' says Pam.
George leans out of her chair to catch Mom's eye. 'You're going to ask a total stranger inside, just like that?'
'Well Georgette, we Martirians are known for our hospitality …'
'Uh-huh,' snorts George. 'I didn't see many of those cheerleaders up here, after their bus broke down that time.'
'Well but this is different.'
All the girls except for Pam exchange lip-tightenings. George clears her throat a little.
Brad Pritchard finishes with his ass. Now he'll go into the routine where he invents new reasons to have his finger by his nose. As I slip through the kitchen door, I catch his eye, point to my ass, then suck my finger.
Beulah Drive is spongy with heat. I wander over to a lemonade stand some kids have set up on number twelve's driveway; they ask fifty cents for information about the reporter, so I wander back, and check the red van under the Lechugas' willow16. My nose flattens17 to the rear glass. You can see a lunchbox behind the seat, with half a brown apple in it. Some wires on the floor. A chewed-up ole book titled 'Make It In Media'. Then you see Ledesma's head rested on a pair of ole boots. He splays naked across a canvas mat inside, eyes closed, muscles heavy and slick. He jackrabbits when I spot him.
'Shit!' He jerks up onto an elbow, rubbing his eyes. 'Big man - come round to the door.'
I tap a stray teddy onto the Lechugas' lawn, and move around to the side. A blast of sweat hits me when the door opens. The guy's face is waxy18. Definitely over thirty. I can tell my ole lady likes him, but I ain't so sure.
'You live in the van?' I ask.
'Tch - the motel's full. Anyway, it gives my corporate19 Amex a break.' A bunch of glass phials tumble across the floor as he grabs his clothes.
'Mom says you can come up for a Coke.'
'I could sure use your bathroom. And maybe a bite to eat.'
'We have joy cakes.'
'Joy cakes?'
'Don't ask.'
Ledesma grabs a handful of the tiny bottles from the floor, stuffing them into a pocket as he stretches into his overalls20. He studies me through quick, black eyes. 'Your mom's stressed today.'
'This is one of her better days.'
He gives a laugh like asthma21, 'Hururrr, hrrr,' and slaps me on the arm. Kind of slap my dad used to give me, when he was feeling friendly. We move back over the road and up the driveway, but Ledesma stops by the wishing bench to adjust his balls. Then he shakes his head, and looks at me.
'Vern - you're innocent, right?'
'Uh-huh.'
'I don't know why it gets to me, tch. All this shit raining down on you, I can't help thinking - what kind of fucking life is this?'
'Tell me about it.'
He puts a hand on my shoulder. 'I'd be prepared to help.'
I just stare at my New Jacks22. To be honest, intimate moments aren't my scene at all, especially when you just saw a guy naked. Next thing you know you're in a fucken TV-movie, quivering all over the place. I guess he senses it. He takes his hand away, tweaks his crotch again, and leans against the wishing bench, which sharply tilts23 away.
'Shit,' he says, pulling back. 'Can't you stand this somewhere flat?'
'Yeah, like - back at the store.'
He laughs. 'You should tell your story, little big man, clear your name - the world loves an underdog.'
'What about the spot we just did, with Deputy Gurie?'
'Tch - camera wasn't running.'
'Get outta town.'
'Call it a favor - between underdogs.'
'You're an underdog?' Mrs Porter's door opens as I say it; Kurt's nose snuffles out.
'Only underdogs and psychos in this world,' says Ledesma. 'Psychos like that fat-assed deputy. Think about it.'
I don't think long. You have to quiver on TV, it's a fucken law of nature. You have to quiver and be fucken devastated24 all the time. I know it for sure, and you'd know it too if you saw Mom watching Court TV. 'See how impassive he is, he chopped up ten people and ate their bowels25 but he doesn't show a care in the world.' I personally don't see the logic26 in having to quiver if you're innocent. If you ask me, people who don't eat your bowels are more likely to be impassive. But no, one learning I made is that juries watch the same shows as my ole lady. If you don't quiver, you're fucken guilty.
'I don't know,' I say, turning to the porch.
Ledesma hangs back. 'Don't underestimate your general public, Vern - they want to see justice being done. I say give them what they want.'
'But, like - I didn't do anything.'
'Tch, and who knows it? People decide with or without the facts - if you don't get out there and paint your paradigm27, someone'll paint it for you.'
'My what?'
'Pa-ra-dime. You never heard of the paradigm shift? Example: you see a man with his hand up your granny's ass. What do you think?'
'Right. Then you learn a deadly bug crawled up there, and the man has in fact put aside his disgust to save Granny. What do you think now?'
'Hero.' You can tell he ain't met my nana.
'There you go, a paradigm shift. The action doesn't change - the information you use to judge it does. You were ready to crucify the guy because you didn't have the facts. Now you want to shake his hand.'
'I don't think so.'
'I mean figuratively, asshole,' he laughs, punching out six of my ribs. 'Facts may seem black and white by the time they hit your TV screen, but professional teams sift29 through mountains of gray to get them there. You need positioning, like a product in the market - the jails are full of people who didn't manage their positions.'
'Wait up, I have a witness, you know.'
Ledesma heads up the porch steps. 'Yeah, and Deputy Lard-ass is so interested. Public opinion will go with the first psycho who points a finger. You're butt-naked, big man.'
We creak through the screen into the cool of the kitchen. Mom's here, all wiped dry with her frog mitt30, a smudge of joy cake on one cheek. The other ole flaps are in the background acting31 natural.
'Ladies!' says Lally, grinning. 'This is how you lounge, while I'm outside like a slave?'
'Oh, Mr Smedma,' says Mom.
'Eulalio Ledesma, ma'am. Educated people call me Lally.'
'Well can I get you a Coke, Mr Lesma? Diet, or diet-decaf if you prefer?' Mom loves it when important people call by, like the doctor and all. Her lashes32 flutter like dying flies.
Lally hoists33 his ass onto the kitchen bench, makes himself comfortable. 'Thanks, just water for me - and maybe one of these cakes. Actually I have something exciting to share with you ladies, if you're interested.'
'Wake me when it's over,' mutters Pam in back.
Lally pulls out the glass bottles, filled with like piss. 'Siberian Ginseng Compound.' He jams one into my hand, winking34. 'Better than Viagra.'
'Hee, hee,' go the girls.
'So, Lally,' says Mom, 'do you sleep in the van, or …?'
'Right now I do - motels are full between here and Austin. I hear some generous townsfolk are taking in guests, but I haven't come across them yet.'
'Well, ahem,' Mom looks down the hall. 'I mean …'
'Doris, you're not going to let Vernon drink that stuff, are you?' It's George's distraction35 technique, look at it. It gives me mixed feelings. I mean, I'm glad she interrupted my ole lady from inviting36 Ledesma to stay. But now everybody's attention snaps to me.
'Oh, it's harmless,' says Lally. 'Great stress-buster.'
George watches me fondle the phial. Her eyes narrow, which is a bad fucken sign. 'Like you're real stressed, Vern. Got a job for the summer?'
'Nah,' I say, downing the ginseng. It tastes like dirt.
'Doris, you hear the Harris boy bought a truck? Paid cash for it too, a Ford37 truck. All the boys I know have summer jobs. Course, they all have haircuts too.'
'It ain't a Ford,' says Brad from the floor.
'Bradley,' says Betty, 'I wish you wouldn't say "ain't".'
'Pluck off.'
'Don't you talk to me like that, Bradley Everett Pritchard!'
'Goddam what? I said "Pluck" for chrissakes, I mean, shit!' He spits and squirms across the rug, then stomps38 up to Betty and smacks39 her in the gut40.
'Bradley!'
'Pluck off, pluck off, PLUCK Off!'
I just stay quiet. Lally looks over, sees my eyes fixed41 longingly42 up the hall. He gulps43 his ginseng and says, 'I appreciate your help, big man - maybe your room would be a better working environment.' He turns to Mom. 'I hope it's no problem - Vern agreed to collate44 some local data for me …'
'Oh, no problem Lally, gosh,' says Mom. 'Quickly, Vern! Hear that girls? It's a job for Lally, he's colliding data for Lally!'
I scurry45 away like a pack of rats. 'Only job he'll get looking like that,' says George. 'Guilty-looking hair, if you ask me. And those shoes don't help none either, same shoes as that psycho Meskin …'
Fuck her. I kick a pile of laundry, and slam my bedroom door. What I'm seriously considering, in light of everybody's behavior, is just to evacuate46 through the laundry door; hop3 a bus to Nana's, and not even tell anybody. Just call up later or something. I mean, the whole world knows Jesus caused the fucken tragedy. But because he's dead, and they can't fucken kill him for it, they have to find a skate-goat. That's people for you. Me, I'd love to explain the sequence of events last Tuesday. But I'm in a bind47, see. I have family honor to think of. And I have my ma to protect, now that I'm Man of the House and all. Anyway, whoever points a finger at me, just for being a guy's friend, has some deep remorse48 coming. Tears of fucken regret, when the truth comes marching in. And it always comes, you know it. Watch any fucken movie.
I still hear everybody through my bedroom door, talking like bad actors, the way they do. 'It's a challenging time for everyone,' says Lally.
'I know, I know.'
'And Vaine's pushing things so hard,' says Leona. 'Can't she sense our grief?'
George barks a cough. 'My ole man's pushing Vaine hard - he gave her a month to pump some life into her conviction average, or she's history.'
'You mean he'd throw her off the force,' asks Mom, 'after all this time?'
'Worse. He'd probably make her Eileena's assistant.'
'Oh my God,' says Leona, 'but Eileena's like - the receptionist. That's as low as Barry's job!'
'Lower,' Pam chuckles49 darkly.
You hear a quiet gap. That means everybody's sighing. Then Mom goes, 'Well this is sure a big month for Vaine. And I can't say it's going too well, the way she's handling Vernon and all.'
'Tch,' goes Lally. 'Maybe the dogs'll shed some light.'
'Dogs?' asks Leona.
'Sniffer dogs, from Smith County.'
'Well but, what can dogs do now?' asks Mom.
'Can I call you Doris?' asks Lally. His voice drops a tone. 'You see, Doris, people are asking how anyone in their right mind could orchestrate such a rampage. They're starting to wonder if drugs were involved. If rumors50 about a drugs link are correct, these specialist dogs will tie it up as fast as cock a leg.'
'Well good,' huffs Mom, 'I feel like calling them over here right now, and putting a stop to this ridiculous business with Vernon.'
I take the drugs out of the shoebox in my closet, and drop them into my pocket. The joints51 leave my hand wet. Kurt barks outside.
收听单词发音 |
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ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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ribs
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| n.肋骨( rib的名词复数 )；（船或屋顶等的）肋拱；肋骨状的东西；（织物的）凸条花纹 | |
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hop
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| n.单脚跳，跳跃；vi.单脚跳，跳跃；着手做某事；vt.跳跃，跃过 | |
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brags
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| v.自夸，吹嘘( brag的第三人称单数 ) | |
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foam
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| v./n.泡沫，起泡沫 | |
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trumps
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| abbr.trumpets 喇叭；小号；喇叭形状的东西；喇叭筒v.（牌戏）出王牌赢（一牌或一墩）( trump的过去式 )；吹号公告，吹号庆祝；吹喇叭；捏造 | |
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frets
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| 基质间片； 品丝（吉他等指板上定音的）( fret的名词复数 ) | |
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bug
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| n.虫子；故障；窃听器；vt.纠缠；装窃听器 | |
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linoleum
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| n.油布，油毯 | |
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sags
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| 向下凹或中间下陷( sag的第三人称单数 )； 松弛或不整齐地悬着 | |
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flicks
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| （尤指用手指或手快速地）轻击( flick的第三人称单数 )； （用…）轻挥； （快速地）按开关； 向…笑了一下（或瞥了一眼等） | |
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trumpet
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| n.喇叭，喇叭声；v.吹喇叭，吹嘘 | |
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grunts
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| （猪等）作呼噜声( grunt的第三人称单数 )； （指人）发出类似的哼声； 咕哝着说； 石鲈 | |
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hunched
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| （常指因寒冷、生病或愁苦）耸肩弓身的，伏首前倾的 | |
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squeals
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| n.长而尖锐的叫声( squeal的名词复数 )v.长声尖叫，用长而尖锐的声音说( squeal的第三人称单数 ) | |
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willow
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| n.柳树 | |
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flattens
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| 变平，使（某物）变平( flatten的第三人称单数 )； 彻底打败某人，使丢脸； 停止增长（或上升）； （把身体或身体部位）紧贴… | |
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waxy
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| adj.苍白的；光滑的 | |
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corporate
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| adj.共同的，全体的；公司的，企业的 | |
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overalls
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| n.（复）工装裤；长罩衣 | |
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asthma
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| n.气喘病，哮喘病 | |
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jacks
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| n.抓子游戏；千斤顶( jack的名词复数 )；（电）插孔；[电子学]插座；放弃 | |
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tilts
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| （意欲赢得某物或战胜某人的）企图，尝试( tilt的名词复数 ) | |
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24
devastated
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| v.彻底破坏( devastate的过去式和过去分词)；摧毁；毁灭；在感情上（精神上、财务上等）压垮adj.毁坏的；极为震惊的 | |
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bowels
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| n.肠，内脏，内部；肠( bowel的名词复数 )；内部，最深处 | |
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logic
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| n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性 | |
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paradigm
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| n.例子，模范，词形变化表 | |
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bastard
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| n.坏蛋，混蛋；私生子 | |
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sift
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| v.筛撒，纷落，详察 | |
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mitt
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| n.棒球手套，拳击手套，无指手套；vt.铐住，握手 | |
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acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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lashes
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| n.鞭挞( lash的名词复数 )；鞭子；突然猛烈的一击；急速挥动v.鞭打( lash的第三人称单数 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
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hoists
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| 把…吊起，升起( hoist的第三人称单数 ) | |
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winking
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| n.瞬眼，目语v.使眼色( wink的现在分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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distraction
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| n.精神涣散，精神不集中，消遣，娱乐 | |
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inviting
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| adj.诱人的，引人注目的 | |
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Ford
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| n.浅滩，水浅可涉处；v.涉水，涉过 | |
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stomps
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| v.跺脚，践踏，重踏( stomp的第三人称单数 ) | |
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39
smacks
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| 掌掴（声）( smack的名词复数 )； 海洛因； （打的）一拳； 打巴掌 | |
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gut
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| n.[pl.]胆量；内脏；adj.本能的；vt.取出内脏 | |
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41
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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42
longingly
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| adv. 渴望地 热望地 | |
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43
gulps
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| n.一大口（尤指液体）( gulp的名词复数 )v.狼吞虎咽地吃，吞咽( gulp的第三人称单数 )；大口地吸（气）；哽住 | |
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44
collate
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| vt.(仔细)核对，对照；(书籍装订前)整理 | |
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45
scurry
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| vi.急匆匆地走；使急赶；催促；n.快步急跑，疾走；仓皇奔跑声；骤雨，骤雪；短距离赛马 | |
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46
evacuate
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| v.遣送；搬空；抽出；排泄；大(小)便 | |
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47
bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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48
remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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49
chuckles
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| 轻声地笑( chuckle的名词复数 ) | |
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rumors
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| n.传闻( rumor的名词复数 )；[古]名誉；咕哝；[古]喧嚷v.传闻( rumor的第三人称单数 )；[古]名誉；咕哝；[古]喧嚷 | |
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51
joints
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| 接头( joint的名词复数 )； 关节； 公共场所（尤指价格低廉的饮食和娱乐场所） （非正式）； 一块烤肉 （英式英语） | |
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