Too fucken late. When you spot a jackrabbit it automatically spots you back; it's a fact of nature, in case you didn't know. Same goes for Vaine Gurie, who I spy in the road by my house. Storms clouds park over her patrol car.
'Pam, stop! Leave me right here …'
'Get a grip, we're nearly home.' Pam don't stop easy once she's going.
My house is a peeling wood dwelling1 in a street of peeling wood dwellings2. Before you see it through the willows3, you see the oil pumpjack next door. I don't know about your town, but around here we decorate our pumpjacks. Even have competitions for them. Our pumpjack is fixed6 up like a mantis7, with a head and legs stuck on. This giant mantis just pump, pump, pumps away at the dirt next door. The local ladies decorated it. This year's prize went to the Godzilla pumpjack on Calavera Drive, though.
As Pam throttles8 back the car, I see media reporters up the street, and a stranger lazing next to a van in the shade of the Lechugas' willow4. He moves a branch to watch us pass. He smiles, don't ask me why.
'That man's been there all morning,' says Pam, squinting10 into the willow.
'He a stranger, or media?' I ask.
Pam shakes her head, pulling up at my house. 'He ain't from around here, I know that much. He has a camcorder, though …'
Fuck, fuck, fuck goes the mantis, like it does every four seconds of my life. Gas, brake, gas, brake, Pam berths11 the car like a ferryboat. Fuck, fuck, gas, brake, I'm snagged in the apparatus12 of Martirio. Across the street, Mrs Lechuga's drapes are tightly pulled. At number twenty, ole Mrs Porter stares from behind her screen-door with Kurt, the medium-size black and white dog. Kurt deserves a place in the fucken Barking Hall of Fame, although he ain't made a sound since Tuesday. Weird13 how dogs know things.
Next thing you know, a shadow falls over the car. It's Vaine Gurie. 'Who do we have here?' she asks, opening my door. Her voice plays from deep in her throat, like a parrot's. You want to check her mouth for the little boxing-glove kind of tongue.
Mom scurries14 across our porch with a tray of listless ole joy cakes. She's in Spooked Deer mode. She looked this way the last time I saw my daddy alive, although Spooked Deer can mean anything from her frog oven-mitt being misplaced, to actual Armageddon. But her mitt's right there, under the tray. She heads down the steps past our willow, the one with her wishing bench under it. The wishing bench is quite a new feature around here, but already the damned thing's listing into the dirt. She pays no mind, and flounces up to Pam's car.
'Howdy pardner,' she says to me, dripping with that cutesy-shucksy Chattanooga-buddy15-boy shit she started when I first showed evidence of having a dick. Feel the bastard16 shrivel now. I pull away, in vain because she chases me, covers me with spit and lipstick17 and fuck knows what else. Placenta, probably. All the while she smiles a smile you know you've seen before, but just can't put your finger on. Clue: the movie where the mother visits this young family, and by the end they have to grapple fucken scissors from her hands.
'Gh-rrr.' Vaine steps between us. 'I'm afraid your pardner here absconded18 from our interview.'
'Well call me Doris, Vaine! I'm almost a Gurie myself, I'm so cozy19 with LuDell, and Reyna and all.'
'Is that right. Mrs Little, let me explain where things stand …'
'Well these cakes are just singing out to be tasted - Vaine?'
'I'm afraid I don't make the laws, ma'am.'
'At least come up to the house - no point getting hot and ornery, we can straighten things out,' says Mom. I stiffen20. You don't want Gurie poking21 around my room or anything. My fucken closet or anything.
'I'm afraid Vernon will have to come with me,' says Gurie. 'Then we need to take a look through his room.'
'Well, God, Vaine - he hasn't done any wrong, he always does like he's told …'
'Is that right. So far he's done nothing but lie, and when I trust him alone he absconds22. We still can't account for him at the time of the tragedy.'
'He wasn't even there!'
'Not what he told us, he told us he was in math.'
'It was the time of our math period,' I correct. Print me a fucken T-shirt, for chrissakes.
'Then there's no need to worry,' says Gurie. 'If you have nothing to hide.'
'Well but Vaine, the news says it's open and shut - everybody knows the cause.'
Curie's eyelids23 flutter. 'Everybody might know the effect, Mrs Little. We'll see about the cause.'
'But the news says …'
'The news says a lot of things, ma'am. The fact is we've run this county dry of body-bags, and I, for one, hold the opinion that it'd take more than a single, unaided gunman to do that.'
Mom stumbles to her wishing bench, abandoning her cakes to the side. She overbalances a little as the bench settles unevenly24 into the dirt. The fucken bench settles a different way every week, like it's indexed to her head or something. 'Well I don't know why everything has to happen to me. We have witnesses, Vaine - witnesses!'
Gurie sighs. 'Ma'am, you know how accessible the so-called witnesses are. Maybe your boy knew. Maybe not. The fact is, he absconded before our interview was over - people with airtight alibis25 just don't do that.'
This is how long it takes Pam to lever herself out of the Mercury. It grunts26 with relief as she lets go the frame. Fire ants catapult across the seat.
'I took him, Vaine. Found him near dead from starvation.'
Gurie folds her arms. 'He was offered food …'
'Fiddledy-boo, the Pritikin diet wouldn't even feed the nose on a growing boy.' One sweaty eye snaps to Gurie. 'How's it going, Vaine - the Pritikin diet?'
'Oh - fine. Gh-rr.'
That's Gurie stuck through like a bug27. The crumpled-looking stranger with the camcorder catches my eye from under the Lechugas' willow, then looks at Vaine. He still has a smile without promise, a chalk smile that strikes me edge-ways, don't ask me why. Gurie pays no mind. She just fixes him in the corner of her eye. The guy wears tan overalls28 with a white dinner jacket, like ole Ricardo Moltenbomb, or whoever Mom's favorite was who had the dwarf29 on Fantasy Island. He eventually penguin-walks over the road, fixing his camcorder onto a tripod. It tells you he's either a tourist, or a reporter. Only way to tell reporters these days is by their names - ever notice how fucken bent30 your local reporters' names are? Like, Zirkie Hartin, Aldo Manaldo, and shit.
'So,' says Gurie, ignoring Moltenbomb. 'Let's get this child into town.' Child my ass9.
'Well wait,' says Mom. 'There's something you should know - Vernon suffers from a kind of - condition.' She rasps it like it's cancer.
'Heck, Momma!'
'Vernon Gregory, you know you get that inconvenience!'
Jesus, fuck. My overbite grows a yard. Moltenbomb chuckles31 from the roadside.
'We'll take care of him,' says Gurie, wiping a hand on her leg. She nudges me down the driveway with her body; effective law-enforcement if you have ass-cheeks like fucken demolition32 balls.
'But he hasn't done any wrong! He has a clinical condition!' Clinical condition my fucken ass.
Just then, Fate plays a card. The hiss33 of Leona Dunt's Eldorado echoes up the street. The uterus-mobile from hell. It's full of Mom's two other so-called friends, Georgette and Betty. They always just drop by. Until Tuesday, Mrs Lechuga was the leader of this pack; now she's indisposed until further notice.
Leona Dunt only shows up when she has at least two things to brag34 about, that's how you know your position in life. She needs about five things to go to the Lechugas', so we're junior league. Fetus35 league, even. Apart from having the thighs36 and ass of a cow, and minimum tits, Leona's an almost pretty blonde with a honeysuckle voice you know got its polish from rubbing on her last husband's wallet. That's the dead husband, not the first one, that got away. She never talks about the one that got away.
Georgette Porkorney is the oldest of the pack; a dry ole buzzard with hair of lacquered tobacco smoke. We just call her George. Right now she's married to the sheriff, not that you'd want to imagine them doing anything. And get this: just like the rhinos37 you see in the wild on TV, she has a bird that lives sitting on her back. It's called Betty Pritchard, Mom's other so-called buddy.
Betty just has this mopey face, and tags along saying, 'I know, I know.' Her ten-year-ole is called Brad. Little fucker broke my PlayStation, but he won't admit it. You can't tell him fucken anything; he has an authorized38 disorder39 that works like a Get Out of Jail Free card. Me, I only have a condition.
So Fate plays the card where Leona's wire rims40 sparkle to a stop behind the patrol car. Ricardo Moltenbomb, the reporter dude, makes a flourish like a bullfighter, then steps aside as an acre of cellulite drains onto the dirt we call our lawn. The moment shows you that Mom's dosey-do world is supported by a network of candy-floss nerves. Now watch them fucken melt.
'Hi, Vaine!' calls Leona. She leads the way on account of being youngest, which means under forty.
'What, Vaine?' calls Georgette Porkorney. 'My ole man grow weary of you at the station?'
Mom takes the catch. 'Vaine's just doing a routine check, girls - come on up for a soda41.'
'More trouble, Doris?' asks Leona.
'Well gosh,' says Mom. 'These cakes are perspiring42!' Believe me, there ain't the life in those cakes to perspire43.
Vaine Gurie preps her throat to speak, but just then Moltenbomb steps up to her with his camcorder and his alligator44 smile. 'A few words for the camera, Captain?'
An audience forms around them, consisting of Pam, Georgette, Leona, and Betty. Georgette's cigarettes appear. She's settling in. Betty's mope turns into a scowl45, she steps back. 'You're not going to smoke on TV, are you - George?'
'Shhh,' says Georgette. 'I ain't on TV - she is. Don't piss me off, Betty.'
Deputy Curie's lips tighten46. She draws a long breath, and frowns at the reporter. 'Firstly, sir, I'm a deputy, and secondly47 you should consult the media room for updates.'
'Actually, I'm doing a background story,' says Moltenbomb.
Gurie looks him up and down. 'Is that right. And you are …?'
'CNN, ma'am - Eulalio Ledesma, at your service.' Sunlight strikes some gold in his mouth. 'The world awaits,'
Gurie chuckles and shakes her head. 'The world's a long way from Martirio, Mr Ledesma.'
'Today the world is Martirio, ma'am.'
Curie's eyes dart48 to Pam. Pam's mouth jacks5 wide open like a kid in a fast-food commercial. The shape of the word 'TV!' shines out. 'Your Barry'll be so proud!' she says.
Deputy Gurie looks herself over. 'But I can't just go on like this, can I?'
'You're spotless, Vaine - get a grip,' tuts Pam.
'Is that right. Gh. And precisely49 what am I supposed to say?'
'Relax, I'll lead you right in,' says Mr Ledesma. Before Gurie can object, he sets down his tripod, aims the camera at her, and steps in front. His voice ripens50 to melted wood. 'Once again we don the cloak of mourning - a cloak worn ragged51 by the devastating52 fallout of a world in change. Today, the good citizens of Martirio, Central Texas, join me in asking - how do we heal America?'
'Gh-rr,' Gurie opens her mouth like she has the fucken answer. No, Vaine, duh - he ain't finished.
'We start on the front line, with the people whose role in the aftermath of tragedy is changing; our law-enforcement professionals. Deputy Vaine Gurie - does the community relate differently to you at a time like this?'
'Well, this is our first time,' she says. Like, fucken duh.
'But, are you increasingly called upon to counsel, to lend moral as well as civil support?'
'Stuss-tistically sir, there are more counselors53 in town than officers of the law. They don't enforce laws, so we don't counsel.'
'The community is meeting the challenge, then - pulling together?'
'We have some manpower over from Luling, and the dogs are here from Smith County, sure. A committee in Houston even sent up some home-made fudge.'
'Obviously freeing valuable time for you to spend with survivors54 …' Ledesma motions me over.
Gurie falters55. 'Sir, the survivors have survived - my job is to find the cause. This town won't rest until the cause of the problem is identified. And corrected.'
'But surely it's open and shut?'
'Nothing happens without an underlying56 cause, sir.'
'You're saying the community has to search inside itself, maybe face some hard truths about its role in the tragedy?'
'I'm saying we have to find the one who caused it.'
Twinkles stab Ledesma's eyes. He reaches for my shoulder and pulls me into the frame.
'Did this young man cause it?'
Gurie's chins recoil57 like snails58 shot with vinegar. 'Gh-rrr - I didn't say that.'
'Then why should the American taxpayer59 bankroll you to detain him, on the first day of his probable lifelong trauma60?'
Other reporters move toward us down the street. Sweat brews61 on Gurie's face. 'That'll be all for now, Mr Lesama.'
'Deputy, this is the public domain62. God Himself can't stop the camera.'
'I'm just afraid I don't make the laws.'
'The child has broken laws?'
'Well, I don't know.'
'You'll detain him just in case?'
'Gh-r.'
The frown on the sheriff's wife is almost down to her tits. Which is way down. Ledesma sizes her up, his tongue lolls restless in his cheek. Gurie tries to shuffle63 away, but he swings the camera like a gun.
'Perhaps you'll tell us the name of the sheriff who briefed you?'
The way Georgette Porkorney talks you wouldn't think she gave a shit about the ole sheriff. She gives one now, though. Her phone flies out of her bag in a shower of Kleenex.
'Bertram? Vaine's on TV.'
After a second, Gurie's phone rings in her pocket. 'Sheriff? No sir, I swear to God. Bandera Road? About two blocks from here. Dogs? Yes sir, right away.'
Ledesma folds up his camera and watches Vaine shuffle to her car, defeated. Then, as a crack of thunder chases the last shine from the pumpjack, he turns to me and winks64 in slow-motion. It has to be slo-mo for how fucken fast it is. I try not to smile. Or drop a load the size of fucken Texas.
'You owe me a story,' he mouths silently, pointing a short, puffy finger. I just nod, and follow my ole lady onto the porch with Leona, George, and Betty. She ushers65 them inside, then hangs back at the screen to see if ole Mrs Porter, childless Mrs Porter, out-of-the-spotlight Mrs Porter, is still watching from her doorway66. She is, but she's pretending not to. Kurt the dog's watching, though. He don't care to pretend.
The last thing you see before our screen clacks shut is Palmyra accelerating to a waddle67 up our driveway. She passes Gurie, and jabs a finger at the stain around her badge.
'Uh-oh, Vaine - barbecue sauce.'
In a black and white world, everything in my room is fucken evidence against me. A haze68 of socks and underwear riddled69 with secret dreams. My computer has history to wipe from the drive, like the amputee sex pictures I printed for ole Silas. He doesn't have a computer, see. Silas is a sick ole puppy - don't even go there, really. He trades stuff with us kids in return for pictures, if you know what I mean. I make a note to wipe the computer, or 'Perform some Virtual Hygiene,' as Mr Nuckles would say. My eyes crawl around the rest of the room. Last week's laundry sits in a pile by my bed, Mom's lingerie catalog is under it; I have to return it to her room. And hope like hell she never tries to open page 67 or 68. You know how it is. Then there's my closet, with the Nike box in back. Inside are two joints70, and two hits of LSD. Don't get me wrong, I'm only holding them for Taylor Figueroa.
Muddy light breaks through the gloom outside my window. The glimmer71 sucks me over to watch a mess of flowers and teddy bears arrive on the Lechugas' porch. Now it looks like Princess Debbie's place, or whoever the princess was who died. It's all just in a pile, still wrapped. So you know the Lechugas paid for it. Nobody else sent flowers for Max, that's the sadness of the thing. Pathetic, really.
I'm studying this whole tragedy routine, in back of my jellified brain. The Lechugas have to send themselves teddy bears, for instance. Know why? Because Max was an asshole. Saw-teeth of damnation I feel just thinking it, waiting for fiery72 hounds to unleash73 mastications and puke my fucken soul to hell. But at the same time, here's me with water in my eyes, for Max, for all my classmates. The truth is a corrosive74 thing. It's like everybody who used to cuss the dead is now lining75 up to say what perfect angels of God they were. What I'm learning is the world laughs through its ass every day, then just lies double-time when shit goes down. It's like we're on a Pritikin diet of fucken lies. I mean - what kind of fucken life is this?
I drag the crusty edge of a T-shirt over my eyes, and try to get over things. I should clean up my mess, seeing as everybody's so antsy, but I feel like smeared76 shit. Then a learning jumps to mind, that once you plan to do something, and figure how long it'll take, that's exactly how long Fate gives you before the next thing comes along to do.
'Vern?' Mom hollers from the kitchen. 'Ver-non!'
1 dwelling | |
n.住宅,住所,寓所 | |
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2 dwellings | |
n.住处,处所( dwelling的名词复数 ) | |
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3 willows | |
n.柳树( willow的名词复数 );柳木 | |
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4 willow | |
n.柳树 | |
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5 jacks | |
n.抓子游戏;千斤顶( jack的名词复数 );(电)插孔;[电子学]插座;放弃 | |
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6 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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7 mantis | |
n.螳螂 | |
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8 throttles | |
n.控制油、气流的阀门( throttle的名词复数 );喉咙,气管v.扼杀( throttle的第三人称单数 );勒死;使窒息;压制 | |
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9 ass | |
n.驴;傻瓜,蠢笨的人 | |
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10 squinting | |
斜视( squint的现在分词 ); 眯着眼睛; 瞟; 从小孔或缝隙里看 | |
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11 berths | |
n.(船、列车等的)卧铺( berth的名词复数 );(船舶的)停泊位或锚位;差事;船台vt.v.停泊( berth的第三人称单数 );占铺位 | |
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12 apparatus | |
n.装置,器械;器具,设备 | |
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13 weird | |
adj.古怪的,离奇的;怪诞的,神秘而可怕的 | |
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14 scurries | |
v.急匆匆地走( scurry的第三人称单数 ) | |
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15 buddy | |
n.(美口)密友,伙伴 | |
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16 bastard | |
n.坏蛋,混蛋;私生子 | |
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17 lipstick | |
n.口红,唇膏 | |
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18 absconded | |
v.(尤指逃避逮捕)潜逃,逃跑( abscond的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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19 cozy | |
adj.亲如手足的,密切的,暖和舒服的 | |
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20 stiffen | |
v.(使)硬,(使)变挺,(使)变僵硬 | |
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21 poking | |
n. 刺,戳,袋 vt. 拨开,刺,戳 vi. 戳,刺,捅,搜索,伸出,行动散慢 | |
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22 absconds | |
v.(尤指逃避逮捕)潜逃,逃跑( abscond的第三人称单数 ) | |
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23 eyelids | |
n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 );眼睛也不眨一下;不露声色;面不改色 | |
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24 unevenly | |
adv.不均匀的 | |
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25 alibis | |
某人在别处的证据( alibi的名词复数 ); 不在犯罪现场的证人; 借口; 托辞 | |
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26 grunts | |
(猪等)作呼噜声( grunt的第三人称单数 ); (指人)发出类似的哼声; 咕哝着说; 石鲈 | |
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27 bug | |
n.虫子;故障;窃听器;vt.纠缠;装窃听器 | |
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28 overalls | |
n.(复)工装裤;长罩衣 | |
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29 dwarf | |
n.矮子,侏儒,矮小的动植物;vt.使…矮小 | |
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30 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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31 chuckles | |
轻声地笑( chuckle的名词复数 ) | |
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32 demolition | |
n.破坏,毁坏,毁坏之遗迹 | |
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33 hiss | |
v.发出嘶嘶声;发嘘声表示不满 | |
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34 brag | |
v./n.吹牛,自夸;adj.第一流的 | |
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35 fetus | |
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36 thighs | |
n.股,大腿( thigh的名词复数 );食用的鸡(等的)腿 | |
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37 rhinos | |
n.犀牛(rhino的复数形式) | |
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38 authorized | |
a.委任的,许可的 | |
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39 disorder | |
n.紊乱,混乱;骚动,骚乱;疾病,失调 | |
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40 rims | |
n.(圆形物体的)边( rim的名词复数 );缘;轮辋;轮圈 | |
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41 soda | |
n.苏打水;汽水 | |
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42 perspiring | |
v.出汗,流汗( perspire的现在分词 ) | |
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43 perspire | |
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44 alligator | |
n.短吻鳄(一种鳄鱼) | |
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45 scowl | |
vi.(at)生气地皱眉,沉下脸,怒视;n.怒容 | |
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46 tighten | |
v.(使)变紧;(使)绷紧 | |
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47 secondly | |
adv.第二,其次 | |
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48 dart | |
v.猛冲,投掷;n.飞镖,猛冲 | |
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49 precisely | |
adv.恰好,正好,精确地,细致地 | |
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50 ripens | |
v.成熟,使熟( ripen的第三人称单数 ) | |
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51 ragged | |
adj.衣衫褴褛的,粗糙的,刺耳的 | |
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52 devastating | |
adj.毁灭性的,令人震惊的,强有力的 | |
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53 counselors | |
n.顾问( counselor的名词复数 );律师;(使馆等的)参赞;(协助学生解决问题的)指导老师 | |
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54 survivors | |
幸存者,残存者,生还者( survivor的名词复数 ) | |
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55 falters | |
(嗓音)颤抖( falter的第三人称单数 ); 支吾其词; 蹒跚; 摇晃 | |
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56 underlying | |
adj.在下面的,含蓄的,潜在的 | |
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57 recoil | |
vi.退却,退缩,畏缩 | |
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58 snails | |
n.蜗牛;迟钝的人;蜗牛( snail的名词复数 ) | |
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59 taxpayer | |
n.纳税人 | |
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60 trauma | |
n.外伤,精神创伤 | |
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61 brews | |
n.(尤指某地酿造的)啤酒( brew的名词复数 );酿造物的种类;(茶)一次的冲泡量;(不同思想、环境、事件的)交融v.调制( brew的第三人称单数 );酝酿;沏(茶);煮(咖啡) | |
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62 domain | |
n.(活动等)领域,范围;领地,势力范围 | |
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63 shuffle | |
n.拖著脚走,洗纸牌;v.拖曳,慢吞吞地走 | |
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64 winks | |
v.使眼色( wink的第三人称单数 );递眼色(表示友好或高兴等);(指光)闪烁;闪亮 | |
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65 ushers | |
n.引座员( usher的名词复数 );招待员;门房;助理教员v.引,领,陪同( usher的第三人称单数 ) | |
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66 doorway | |
n.门口,(喻)入门;门路,途径 | |
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67 waddle | |
vi.摇摆地走;n.摇摆的走路(样子) | |
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68 haze | |
n.霾,烟雾;懵懂,迷糊;vi.(over)变模糊 | |
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69 riddled | |
adj.布满的;充斥的;泛滥的v.解谜,出谜题(riddle的过去分词形式) | |
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70 joints | |
接头( joint的名词复数 ); 关节; 公共场所(尤指价格低廉的饮食和娱乐场所) (非正式); 一块烤肉 (英式英语) | |
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71 glimmer | |
v.发出闪烁的微光;n.微光,微弱的闪光 | |
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72 fiery | |
adj.燃烧着的,火红的;暴躁的;激烈的 | |
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73 unleash | |
vt.发泄,发出;解带子放开 | |
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74 corrosive | |
adj.腐蚀性的;有害的;恶毒的 | |
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75 lining | |
n.衬里,衬料 | |
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76 smeared | |
弄脏; 玷污; 涂抹; 擦上 | |
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