WITHIN THE half hour Briony would commit her crime. Conscious that she was sharing the night expanse with a maniac1, she kept close to the shadowed walls of the house at first, and ducked low beneath the sills whenever she passed in front of a lighted window. She knew he would be heading off down the main drive because that was the way her sister had gone with Leon. As soon as she thought a safe distance had opened up, Briony swung out boldly from the house in a wide arc that took her toward the stable block and the swimming pool. It made sense, surely, to see if the twins were there, fooling about with the hoses, or floating facedown in death, indistinguishable to the last. She thought how she might describe it, the way they bobbed on the illuminated2 water’s gentle swell3, and how their hair spread like tendrils and their clothed bodies softly collided and drifted apart. The dry night air slipped between the fabric4 of her dress and her skin, and she felt smooth and agile5 in the dark. There was nothing she could not describe: the gentle pad of a maniac’s tread moving sinuously6 along the drive, keeping to the verge7 to muffle8 his approach. But her brother was with Cecilia, and that was a burden lifted. She could describe this delicious air too, the grasses giving off their sweet cattle smell, the hard-fired earth which still held the embers of the day’s heat and exhaled9 the mineral odor of clay, and the faint breeze carrying from the lake a flavor of green and silver.
She broke into a loping run across the grass and thought she could go on all night, knifing through the silky air, sprung forward by the steely coil of the hard ground under her feet, and by the way darkness doubled the impression of speed. She had dreams in which she ran like this, then tilted10 forward, spread her arms and, yielding to faith—the only difficult part, but easy enough in sleep—left the ground by simply stepping off it, and swooped11 low over hedges and gates and roofs, then hurtled upward and hovered12 exultantly14 below the cloud base, above the fields, before diving down again. She sensed now how this might be achieved, through desire alone; the world she ran through loved her and would give her what she wanted and would let it happen. And then, when it did, she would describe it. Wasn’t writing a kind of soaring, an achievable form of flight, of fancy, of the imagination?
But there was a maniac treading through the night with a dark, unfulfilled heart—she had frustrated15 him once already—and she needed to be earthbound to describe him too. She must first protect her sister against him, and then find ways of conjuring16 him safely on paper. Briony slowed to a walking pace, and thought how he must hate her for interrupting him in the library. And though it horrified17 her, it was another entry, a moment of coming into being, another first: to be hated by an adult. Children hated generously, capriciously. It hardly mattered. But to be the object of adult hatred18 was an initiation19 into a solemn new world. It was promotion20. He might have doubled back, and be waiting for her with murderous thoughts behind the stable block. But she was trying not to be afraid. She had held his gaze there in the library while her sister had slipped past her, giving no outward acknowledgment of her deliverance. It was not about thanks, she knew that, it was not about rewards. In matters of selfless love, nothing needed to be said, and she would protect her sister, even if Cecilia failed to acknowledge her debt. And Briony could not be afraid now of Robbie; better by far to let him become the object of her detestation and disgust. They had provided for all manner of pleasant things for him, the Tallis family: the very home he had grown up in, countless21 trips to France, and his grammar school uniform and books, and then Cambridge—and in return he had used a terrible word against her sister and, in a fantastic abuse of hospitality, used his strength against her too, and sat insolently22 at their dining table pretending that nothing was different. The pretense23, and how she ached to expose it! Real life, her life now beginning, had sent her a villain24 in the form of an old family friend with strong, awkward limbs and a rugged25 friendly face who used to carry her on his back, and swim with her in the river, holding her against the current. That seemed about right—truth was strange and deceptive26, it had to be struggled for, against the flow of the everyday. This was exactly what no one would have expected, and of course villains27 were not announced with hisses28 or soliloquies, they did not come cloaked in black, with ugly expressions. Across the other side of the house, walking away from her, were Leon and Cecilia. She might be telling him about the assault. If she was, he would have his arm around her shoulders. Together, the Tallis children would see this brute30 off, see him safely out of their lives. They would have to confront and convert their father, and comfort him in his rage and disappointment. That his protégé should turn out to be a maniac! Lola’s word stirred the dust of other words around it—man, mad, ax, attack, accuse—and confirmed the diagnosis31.
She made her way round the stable block and stopped under the arched entrance, beneath the clock tower. She called out the twins’ names, and heard in reply only the stir and scuff32 of hooves, and the thump33 of a heavy body pressing against a stall. She was glad she had never fallen for a horse or pony34, for she would surely be neglecting it by this stage of her life. She did not approach the animals now, even though they sensed her presence. In their terms, a genius, a god, was loitering on the periphery35 of their world and they were straining for her attention. But she turned and continued toward the swimming pool. She wondered whether having final responsibility for someone, even a creature like a horse or a dog, was fundamentally opposed to the wild and inward journey of writing. Protective worrying, engaging with another’s mind as one entered it, taking the dominant36 role as one guided another’s fate, was hardly mental freedom. Perhaps she might become one of those women—pitied or envied—who chose not to have children. She followed the brick path that led round the outside of the stable block. Like the earth, the sandy bricks radiated the day’s trapped heat. She felt it on her cheek and down her bare calf37 as she passed along. She stumbled as she hurried through the darkness of the bamboo tunnel, and emerged onto the reassuring38 geometry of the paving stones.
The underwater lights, installed that spring, were still a novelty. The upward bluish gleam gave everything around the pool a colorless, moonlit look, like a photograph. A glass jug39, two tumblers and a piece of cloth stood on the old tin table. A third tumbler containing pieces of soft fruit stood poised40 at the end of the diving board. There were no bodies in the pool, no giggling41 from the darkness of the pavilion, no shushing from the shadows of the bamboo thickets42. She took a slow turn around the pool, no longer searching, but drawn43 to the glow and glassy stillness of the water. For all the threat the maniac posed to her sister, it was delightful44 to be out so late, with permission. She did not really think the twins were in danger. Even if they had seen the framed map of the area in the library and were clever enough to read it, and were intending to leave the grounds and walk north all night, they would have to follow the drive into the woods along by the railway line. At this time of year, when the tree canopy45 was thick over the road, the way was in total blackness. The only other route out was through the kissing gate, down toward the river. But here too there would be no light, no way of keeping to the path or ducking the branches that hung low over it, or dodging46 the nettles47 that grew thickly on either side. They would not be bold enough to put themselves in danger.
They were safe, Cecilia was with Leon, and she, Briony, was free to wander in the dark and contemplate48 her extraordinary day. Her childhood had ended, she decided49 now as she came away from the swimming pool, the moment she tore down her poster. The fairy stories were behind her, and in the space of a few hours she had witnessed mysteries, seen an unspeakable word, interrupted brutal50 behavior, and by incurring51 the hatred of an adult whom everyone had trusted, she had become a participant in the drama of life beyond the nursery. All she had to do now was discover the stories, not just the subjects, but a way of unfolding them, that would do justice to her new knowledge. Or did she mean, her wiser grasp of her own ignorance?
Staring at water for minutes on end had put her in mind of the lake. Perhaps the boys were hiding in the island temple. It was obscure, but not too cut off from the house, a friendly little place with the consolation52 of water and not too many shadows. The others might have gone straight across the bridge without looking down there. She decided to keep to her route and reach the lake by circling round the back of the house.
Two minutes later she was crossing the rose beds and the gravel53 path in front of the Triton fountain, scene of another mystery that clearly foretold54 the later brutalities. As she passed it she thought she heard a faint shout, and thought she saw from the corner of her eye a point of light flash on and off. She stopped, and strained to hear over the sound of trickling55 water. The shout and the light had come from the woods by the river, a few hundred yards away. She walked in that direction for half a minute, and stopped to listen again. But there was nothing, nothing but the tumbling dark mass of the woods just discernible against the grayish-blue of the western sky. After waiting a while she decided to turn back. In order to pick up her path she was walking directly toward the house, toward the terrace where a paraffin globe lamp shone among glasses, bottles, and an ice bucket. The drawing-room French windows still stood wide open to the night. She could see right into the room. And by the light of a single lamp she could see, partially56 obscured by the hang of a velvet57 curtain, one end of a sofa across which there lay at a peculiar58 angle a cylindrical59 object that seemed to hover13. It was only after she had covered another fifty yards that she understood that she was looking at a disembodied human leg. Closer still, and she grasped the perspectives; it was her mother’s of course, and she would be waiting for the twins. She was mostly obscured by the drapes, and one stockinged leg was supported by the knee of the other, which gave it its curious, slanting60 and levitated61 appearance.
Briony moved to a window on her left as she came right up to the house in order to be clear of Emily’s sight line. She was positioned too far behind her mother to see her eyes. She could make out only the dip in her cheekbone of her eye socket62. Briony was certain her eyes would be closed. Her head was tilted back, and her hands lay lightly clasped in her lap. Her right shoulder rose and fell faintly with her breathing. Briony could not see her mouth, but she knew its downward curve, easily mistaken for the sign—the hieroglyph—of reproach. But it was not so, because her mother was endlessly kind and sweet and good. Looking at her sitting alone, late at night, was sad, but pleasantly so. Briony indulged herself by looking through the window in a spirit of farewell. Her mother was forty-six, dispiritingly old. One day she would die. There would be a funeral in the village at which Briony’s dignified63 reticence64 would hint at the vastness of her sorrow. As her friends came up to murmur65 their condolences they would feel awed66 by the scale of her tragedy. She saw herself standing67 alone in a great arena68, within a towering colosseum, watched not only by all the people she knew but by all those she would ever know, the whole cast of her life, assembled to love her in her loss. And at the churchyard, in what they called the grandparents’ corner, she and Leon and Cecilia would stand in an interminable embrace in the long grass by the new headstone, again watched. It had to be witnessed. It was the pity of these well-wishers that pricked69 her eyes.
She could have gone in to her mother then and snuggled close beside her and begun a résumé of the day. If she had she would not have committed her crime. So much would not have happened, nothing would have happened, and the smoothing hand of time would have made the evening barely memorable70: the night the twins ran away. Was it thirty-four, or five or six? But for no particular reason, apart from the vague obligation of the search and the pleasure of being out so late, she came away, and as she did so her shoulder caught an edge of one of the open French windows, knocking it shut. The sound was sharp—seasoned pine on hardwood—and rang out like a rebuke71. To stay she would have to explain herself, so she slipped away into the darkness, tiptoeing quickly over the slabs72 of stone and the scented73 herbs that grew between them. Then she was on the lawn between the rose beds where it was possible to run soundlessly. She came round the side of the house to the front, onto the gravel she had hobbled across barefoot that afternoon.
Here she slowed as she turned down the driveway toward the bridge. She was back at her starting point and thought she was bound to see the others, or hear their calls. But there was no one. The dark shapes of the widely spaced trees across the park made her hesitate. Someone hated her, that had to be remembered, and he was unpredictable and violent. Leon, Cecilia and Mr. Marshall would be a long way off now. The nearer trees, or at least their trunks, had a human form. Or could conceal74 one. Even a man standing in front of a tree trunk would not be visible to her. For the first time, she was aware of the breeze pouring through the tops of the trees, and this familiar sound unsettled her. Millions of separate and precise agitations75 bombarded her senses. When the wind picked up briefly76 and died, the sound moved away from her, traveling out across the darkened park like a living thing. She stopped and wondered whether she had the courage to keep on to the bridge, cross it, and leave it to go down the steep bank to the island temple. Especially when there really was not much at stake—just a hunch77 of hers that the boys may have wandered down there. Unlike the adults, she had no torch. Nothing was expected of her, she was a child after all in their eyes. The twins were not in danger.
She remained on the gravel for a minute or two, not quite frightened enough to turn back, nor confident enough to go on. She could return to her mother and keep her company in the drawing room while she waited. She could take a safer route, along the driveway and back, before it entered the woods—and still give the impression of a serious search. Then, precisely78 because the day had proved to her that she was not a child, and that she was now a figure in a richer story and had to prove herself worthy79 of it, she forced herself to walk on and cross the bridge. From beneath her, amplified80 by the stone arch, came the hiss29 of the breeze disturbing the sedge, and a sudden beating of wings against water which subsided81 abruptly83. These were everyday sounds magnified by darkness. And darkness was nothing—it was not a substance, it was not a presence, it was no more than an absence of light. The bridge led to nothing more than an artificial island in an artificial lake. It had been there two hundred years almost, and its detachment marked it out from the rest of the land, and it belonged to her more than to anyone else. She was the only one who ever came here. To the others it was no more than a corridor to and from home, a bridge between the bridges, an ornament84 so familiar as to be invisible. Hardman came with his son twice a year to scythe85 the grass around the temple. The tramps had passed through. Stray migrating geese sometimes honored the little grassy86 shore. Otherwise it was a lonely kingdom of rabbits, water birds and water rats.
So it should have been a simple matter, to pick her way down the bank and go across the grass toward the temple. But again, she hesitated, and simply looked, without even calling out to the twins. The building’s indistinct pallor shimmered87 in the dark. When she stared at it directly it dissolved completely. It stood about a hundred feet away, and nearer, in the center of the grassy stretch, there was a shrub88 she did not remember. Or rather, she remembered it being closer to the shore. The trees were not right either, what she could see of them. The oak was too bulbous, the elm too straggly, and in their strangeness they seemed in league. As she put her hand out to touch the parapet of the bridge, a duck startled her with a high, unpleasant call, almost human in its breathy downward note. It was the steepness of the bank, of course, which held her back, and the idea of descent, and the fact that there was not much point. But she had made her decision. She went down backward, steadying herself on clumps89 of grass, and at the bottom paused only to wipe her hands on her dress.
She walked directly toward the temple, and had gone seven or eight steps, and was about to call out the names of the twins, when the bush that lay directly in her path—the one she thought should be closer to the shore—began to break up in front of her, or double itself, or waver, and then fork. It was changing its shape in a complicated way, thinning at the base as a vertical91 column rose five or six feet. She would have stopped immediately had she not still been so completely bound to the notion that this was a bush, and that she was witnessing some trick of darkness and perspective. Another second or two, another couple of steps, and she saw that this was not so. Then she stopped. The vertical mass was a figure, a person who was now backing away from her and beginning to fade into the darker background of the trees. The remaining darker patch on the ground was also a person, changing shape again as it sat up and called her name.
“Briony?”
She heard the helplessness in Lola’s voice—it was the sound she had thought belonged to a duck—and in an instant, Briony understood completely. She was nauseous with disgust and fear. Now the larger figure reappeared, circling right round the edge of the clearing and heading for the bank down which she had just come. She knew she should attend to Lola, but she could not help watching as he mounted the slope quickly and without effort, and disappeared onto the roadway. She heard his footsteps as he strode toward the house. She had no doubt. She could describe him. There was nothing she could not describe. She knelt down beside her cousin.
“Lola. Are you all right?”
Briony touched her shoulder, and was groping for her hand without success. Lola was sitting forward, with her arms crossed around her chest, hugging herself and rocking slightly. The voice was faint and distorted, as though impeded92 by something like a bubble, some mucus in her throat. She needed to clear her throat. She said, vaguely93, “I’m sorry, I didn’t, I’m sorry . . .”
Briony whispered, “Who was it?” and before that could be answered, she added, with all the calm she was capable of, “I saw him. I saw him.”
For the second time that evening, Briony felt a flowering of tenderness for her cousin. Together they faced real terrors. She and her cousin were close. Briony was on her knees, trying to put her arms round Lola and gather her to her, but the body was bony and unyielding, wrapped tight about itself like a seashell. A winkle. Lola hugged herself and rocked.
Briony said, “It was him, wasn’t it?”
She felt against her chest, rather than saw, her cousin nod, slowly, reflectively. Perhaps it was exhaustion95.
After many seconds Lola said in the same weak, submissive voice, “Yes. It was him.”
Suddenly, Briony wanted her to say his name. To seal the crime, frame it with the victim’s curse, close his fate with the magic of naming.
“Lola,” she whispered, and could not deny the strange elation96 she felt. “Lola. Who was it?”
The rocking stopped. The island became very still. Without quite shifting her position, Lola seemed to move away, or to move her shoulders, half shrug97, half sway, to free herself of Briony’s sympathetic touch. She turned her head away and looked out across the emptiness where the lake was. She may have been about to speak, she may have been about to embark98 upon a long confession99 in which she would find her feelings as she spoke100 them and lead herself out of her numbness101 toward something that resembled both terror and joy. Turning away may well have been not a distancing, but an act of intimacy102, a way of gathering103 herself to begin to speak her feelings to the only person she thought, so far from home, she could trust herself to talk to. Perhaps she had already drawn breath and parted her lips. But it did not matter because Briony was about to cut her off and the opportunity would be lost. So many seconds had passed—thirty? forty-five?—and the younger girl could no longer hold herself back. Everything connected. It was her own discovery. It was her story, the one that was writing itself around her.
“It was Robbie, wasn’t it?”
The maniac. She wanted to say the word.
Lola said nothing and did not move.
Briony said it again, this time without the trace of a question. It was a statement of fact. “It was Robbie.”
Though she had not turned, or moved at all, it was clear that something was changing in Lola, a warmth rising from her skin and a sound of dry swallowing, a heaving convulsion of muscle in her throat that was audible as a series of sinewy104 clicks.
Briony said it again. Simply. “Robbie.”
From far out in the lake came the fat, rounded plop of a fish jumping, a precise and solitary105 sound, for the breeze had dropped away completely. Nothing scary in the treetops or among the sedge now. At last Lola turned slowly to face her.
She said, “You saw him.”
“How could he,” Briony moaned. “How dare he.”
Lola placed her hand on her bare forearm and gripped. Her mild words were widely spaced. “You saw him.”
Briony drew nearer to her and covered Lola’s hand with her own. “You don’t even know yet what happened in the library, before dinner, just after we were talking. He was attacking my sister. If I hadn’t come in, I don’t know what he would have done . . .”
However close they were, it was not possible to read expressions. The dark disk of Lola’s face showed nothing at all, but Briony sensed she was only half listening, and this was confirmed when she cut in to repeat, “But you saw him. You actually saw him.”
“Of course I did. Plain as day. It was him.”
Despite the warmth of the night, Lola was beginning to shiver and Briony longed for something she could take off and place round her shoulders.
Lola said, “He came up behind me, you see. He knocked me to the ground . . . and then . . . he pushed my head back and his hand was over my eyes. I couldn’t actually, I wasn’t able . . .”
“Oh Lola.” Briony put out her hand to touch her cousin’s face and found her cheek. It was dry, but it wouldn’t be, she knew it wouldn’t be for long. “Listen to me. I couldn’t mistake him. I’ve known him all my life. I saw him.”
“Because I couldn’t say for sure. I mean, I thought it might be him by his voice.”
“What did he say?”
“Nothing. I mean, it was the sound of his voice, breathing, noises. But I couldn’t see. I couldn’t say for sure.”
“Well I can. And I will.”
And so their respective positions, which were to find public expression in the weeks and months to come, and then be pursued as demons106 in private for many years afterward107, were established in these moments by the lake, with Briony’s certainty rising whenever her cousin appeared to doubt herself. Nothing much was ever required of Lola after that, for she was able to retreat behind an air of wounded confusion, and as treasured patient, recovering victim, lost child, let herself be bathed in the concern and guilt108 of the adults in her life. How could we have let this happen to a child? Lola could not, and did not need to, help them. Briony offered her a chance, and she seized it instinctively109; less than that—she simply let it settle over her. She had little more to do than remain silent behind her cousin’s zeal110. Lola did not need to lie, to look her supposed attacker in the eye and summon the courage to accuse him, because all that work was done for her, innocently, and without guile111 by the younger girl. Lola was required only to remain silent about the truth, banish112 it and forget it entirely113, and persuade herself not of some contrary tale, but simply of her own uncertainty114. She couldn’t see, his hand was over her eyes, she was terrified, she couldn’t say for sure.
Briony was there to help her at every stage. As far as she was concerned, everything fitted; the terrible present fulfilled the recent past. Events she herself witnessed foretold her cousin’s calamity115. If only she, Briony, had been less innocent, less stupid. Now she saw, the affair was too consistent, too symmetrical to be anything other than what she said it was. She blamed herself for her childish assumption that Robbie would limit his attentions to Cecilia. What was she thinking of? He was a maniac after all. Anyone would do. And he was bound to go for the most vulnerable—a spindly girl, stumbling about in the dark in an unfamiliar116 place, bravely searching around the island temple for her brothers. Just as Briony herself had been about to do. That his victim could easily have been her increased Briony’s outrage117 and fervor118. If her poor cousin was not able to command the truth, then she would do it for her. I can. And I will.
As early as the week that followed, the glazed119 surface of conviction was not without its blemishes120 and hairline cracks. Whenever she was conscious of them, which was not often, she was driven back, with a little swooping121 sensation in her stomach, to the understanding that what she knew was not literally122, or not only, based on the visible. It was not simply her eyes that told her the truth. It was too dark for that. Even Lola’s face at eighteen inches was an empty oval, and this figure was many feet away, and turned from her as it moved back around the clearing. But nor was this figure invisible, and its size and manner of moving were familiar to her. Her eyes confirmed the sum of all she knew and had recently experienced. The truth was in the symmetry, which was to say, it was founded in common sense. The truth instructed her eyes. So when she said, over and again, I saw him, she meant it, and was perfectly123 honest, as well as passionate124. What she meant was rather more complex than what everyone else so eagerly understood, and her moments of unease came when she felt that she could not express these nuances. She did not even seriously try. There were no opportunities, no time, no permission. Within a couple of days, no, within a matter of hours, a process was moving fast and well beyond her control. Her words summoned awful powers from the familiar and picturesque125 local town. It was as if these terrifying authorities, these uniformed agents, had been lying in wait behind the fa?ades of pretty buildings for a disaster they knew must come. They knew their own minds, they knew what they wanted and how to proceed. She was asked again and again, and as she repeated herself, the burden of consistency126 was pressed upon her. What she had said she must say again. Minor127 deviations128 earned her little frowns on wise brows, or a degree of frostiness and withdrawal129 of sympathy. She became anxious to please, and learned quickly that the minor qualifications she might have added would disrupt the process that she herself had set in train.
She was like a bride-to-be who begins to feel her sickening qualms130 as the day approaches, and dares not speak her mind because so many preparations have been made on her behalf. The happiness and convenience of so many good people would be put at risk. These are fleeting131 moments of private disquiet132, only dispelled133 by abandoning herself to the joy and excitement of those around her. So many decent people could not be wrong, and doubts like hers, she’s been told, are to be expected. Briony did not wish to cancel the whole arrangement. She did not think she had the courage, after all her initial certainty and two or three days of patient, kindly134 interviewing, to withdraw her evidence. However, she would have preferred to qualify, or complicate90, her use of the word “saw.” Less like seeing, more like knowing. Then she could have left it to her interrogators to decide whether they would proceed together in the name of this kind of vision. They were impassive whenever she wavered, and firmly recalled her to her earliest statements. Was she a silly girl, their manner implied, who had wasted everybody’s time? And they took an austere135 view of the visual. There was enough light, it was established, from stars, and from the cloud base reflecting streetlights from the nearest town. Either she saw, or she did not see. There lay nothing in between; they did not say as much, but their brusqueness implied it. It was in those moments, when she felt their coolness, that she reached back to revive her first ardor136 and said it again. I saw him. I know it was him. Then it was comforting to feel she was confirming what they already knew.
She would never be able to console herself that she was pressured or bullied137. She never was. She trapped herself, she marched into the labyrinth138 of her own construction, and was too young, too awestruck, too keen to please, to insist on making her own way back. She was not endowed with, or old enough to possess, such independence of spirit. An imposing139 congregation had massed itself around her first certainties, and now it was waiting and she could not disappoint it at the altar. Her doubts could be neutralized140 only by plunging141 in deeper. By clinging tightly to what she believed she knew, narrowing her thoughts, reiterating142 her testimony143, she was able to keep from mind the damage she only dimly sensed she was doing. When the matter was closed, when the sentence was passed and the congregation dispersed144, a ruthless youthful forgetting, a willful erasing145, protected her well into her teens.
“Well I can. And I will.”
They sat in silence for a while, and Lola’s shivering began to subside82. Briony supposed she should get her cousin home, but she was reluctant to break this closeness for the moment—she had her arms around the older girl’s shoulders and she seemed to yield now to Briony’s touch. They saw far beyond the lake a bobbing pinprick of light—a torch being carried along the drive—but they did not comment on it. When at last Lola spoke her tone was reflective, as though she were pondering subtle currents of counterarguments.
“But it doesn’t make sense. He’s such a close friend of your family. It might not have been him.”
Briony murmured, “You wouldn’t be saying that if you’d been with me in the library.”
Lola sighed and shook her head slowly, as though trying to reconcile herself to the unacceptable truth.
They were silent again and they might have sat longer had it not been for the damp—not quite yet dew—that was beginning to settle on the grass as the clouds cleared and the temperature dropped.
When Briony whispered to her cousin, “Do you think you can walk?” she nodded bravely. Briony helped her to stand, and arm in arm at first, and then with Lola’s weight on Briony’s shoulder, they made their way across the clearing toward the bridge. They reached the bottom of the slope and it was here that Lola finally began to cry.
“I can’t go up there,” she had several attempts at saying. “I’m just too weak.” It would be better, Briony decided, for her to run to the house and fetch help, and she was just about to explain this to Lola and settle her on the ground when they heard voices from the road above, and then torchlight was in their eyes. It was a miracle, Briony thought, when she heard her brother’s voice. Like the true hero he was, he came down the bank in several easy strides and without even asking what the trouble was, took Lola into his arms and picked her up as though she were a small child. Cecilia was calling down in a voice that sounded hoarse146 with concern. No one answered her. Leon was already making his way up the incline at such a pace it was an effort to keep up with him. Even so, before they reached the driveway, before he had the chance to set Lola down, Briony was beginning to tell him what had happened, exactly as she had seen it.
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maniac
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| n.精神癫狂的人；疯子 | |
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illuminated
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| adj.被照明的；受启迪的 | |
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swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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fabric
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| n.织物，织品，布；构造，结构，组织 | |
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agile
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| adj.敏捷的，灵活的 | |
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sinuously
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| 弯曲的，蜿蜒的 | |
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verge
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| n.边，边缘；v.接近，濒临 | |
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muffle
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| v.围裹；抑制；发低沉的声音 | |
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exhaled
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| v.呼出，发散出( exhale的过去式和过去分词 )；吐出（肺中的空气、烟等），呼气 | |
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10
tilted
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| v. 倾斜的 | |
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11
swooped
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| 俯冲，猛冲( swoop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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12
hovered
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| 鸟( hover的过去式和过去分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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13
hover
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| vi.翱翔，盘旋；徘徊；彷徨，犹豫 | |
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14
exultantly
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| adv.狂欢地，欢欣鼓舞地 | |
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15
frustrated
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| adj.挫败的，失意的，泄气的v.使不成功( frustrate的过去式和过去分词 )；挫败；使受挫折；令人沮丧 | |
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16
conjuring
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| n.魔术 | |
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17
horrified
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| a.(表现出)恐惧的 | |
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18
hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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19
initiation
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| n.开始 | |
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20
promotion
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| n.提升，晋级；促销，宣传 | |
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21
countless
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| adj.无数的，多得不计其数的 | |
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22
insolently
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| adv.自豪地，自傲地 | |
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23
pretense
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| n.矫饰，做作，借口 | |
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24
villain
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| n.反派演员，反面人物；恶棍；问题的起因 | |
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25
rugged
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| adj.高低不平的，粗糙的，粗壮的，强健的 | |
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26
deceptive
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| adj.骗人的，造成假象的，靠不住的 | |
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27
villains
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| n.恶棍( villain的名词复数 )；罪犯；（小说、戏剧等中的）反面人物；淘气鬼 | |
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28
hisses
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| 嘶嘶声( hiss的名词复数 ) | |
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29
hiss
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| v.发出嘶嘶声；发嘘声表示不满 | |
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30
brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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31
diagnosis
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| n.诊断，诊断结果，调查分析，判断 | |
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32
scuff
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| v. 拖着脚走；磨损 | |
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33
thump
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| v.重击，砰然地响；n.重击，重击声 | |
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34
pony
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| adj.小型的；n.小马 | |
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35
periphery
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| n.(圆体的)外面；周围 | |
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36
dominant
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| adj.支配的，统治的；占优势的；显性的；n.主因，要素，主要的人(或物)；显性基因 | |
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37
calf
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| n.小牛，犊，幼仔，小牛皮 | |
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38
reassuring
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| a.使人消除恐惧和疑虑的，使人放心的 | |
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39
jug
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| n.(有柄，小口，可盛水等的)大壶，罐，盂 | |
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40
poised
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| a.摆好姿势不动的 | |
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41
giggling
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| v.咯咯地笑( giggle的现在分词 ) | |
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42
thickets
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| n.灌木丛( thicket的名词复数 )；丛状物 | |
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43
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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44
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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45
canopy
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| n.天篷，遮篷 | |
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46
dodging
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| n.避开，闪过，音调改变v.闪躲( dodge的现在分词 )；回避 | |
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47
nettles
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| n.荨麻( nettle的名词复数 ) | |
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48
contemplate
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| vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视 | |
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49
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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50
brutal
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| adj.残忍的，野蛮的，不讲理的 | |
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51
incurring
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| 遭受，招致，引起( incur的现在分词 ) | |
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52
consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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53
gravel
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| n.砂跞；砂砾层；结石 | |
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54
foretold
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| v.预言，预示( foretell的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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55
trickling
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| n.油画底色含油太多而成泡沫状突起v.滴( trickle的现在分词 )；淌；使)慢慢走；缓慢移动 | |
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56
partially
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| adv.部分地，从某些方面讲 | |
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57
velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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58
peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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59
cylindrical
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| adj.圆筒形的 | |
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60
slanting
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| 倾斜的，歪斜的 | |
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61
levitated
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| v.（使）升空，（使）漂浮( levitate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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62
socket
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| n.窝，穴，孔，插座，插口 | |
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63
dignified
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| a.可敬的，高贵的 | |
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64
reticence
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| n.沉默，含蓄 | |
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65
murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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66
awed
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| adj.充满敬畏的，表示敬畏的v.使敬畏，使惊惧( awe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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67
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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68
arena
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| n.竞技场，运动场所；竞争场所，舞台 | |
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69
pricked
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| 刺，扎，戳( prick的过去式和过去分词 )； 刺伤； 刺痛； 使剧痛 | |
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70
memorable
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| adj.值得回忆的，难忘的，特别的，显著的 | |
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71
rebuke
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| v.指责，非难，斥责 [反]praise | |
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72
slabs
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| n.厚板，平板，厚片( slab的名词复数 )；厚胶片 | |
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73
scented
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| adj.有香味的；洒香水的；有气味的v.嗅到(scent的过去分词) | |
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74
conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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75
agitations
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| （液体等的）摇动( agitation的名词复数 )； 鼓动； 激烈争论； （情绪等的）纷乱 | |
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76
briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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77
hunch
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| n.预感，直觉 | |
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78
precisely
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|
| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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79
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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80
amplified
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| 放大，扩大( amplify的过去式和过去分词 )； 增强； 详述 | |
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81
subsided
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| v.（土地）下陷（因在地下采矿）( subside的过去式和过去分词 )；减弱；下降至较低或正常水平；一下子坐在椅子等上 | |
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82
subside
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| vi.平静，平息；下沉，塌陷，沉降 | |
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83
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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84
ornament
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| v.装饰，美化；n.装饰，装饰物 | |
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85
scythe
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| n. 长柄的大镰刀，战车镰； v. 以大镰刀割 | |
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86
grassy
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| adj.盖满草的；长满草的 | |
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87
shimmered
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| v.闪闪发光，发微光( shimmer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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88
shrub
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| n.灌木，灌木丛 | |
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89
clumps
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| n.（树、灌木、植物等的）丛、簇( clump的名词复数 )；（土、泥等）团；块；笨重的脚步声v.（树、灌木、植物等的）丛、簇( clump的第三人称单数 )；（土、泥等）团；块；笨重的脚步声 | |
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90
complicate
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| vt.使复杂化，使混乱，使难懂 | |
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91
vertical
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| adj.垂直的，顶点的，纵向的；n.垂直物，垂直的位置 | |
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92
impeded
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| 阻碍，妨碍，阻止( impede的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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93
vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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94
meekly
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| adv.温顺地，逆来顺受地 | |
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95
exhaustion
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| n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述 | |
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96
elation
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| n.兴高采烈，洋洋得意 | |
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97
shrug
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| v.耸肩(表示怀疑、冷漠、不知等) | |
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98
embark
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| vi.乘船，着手，从事，上飞机 | |
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99
confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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100
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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101
numbness
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| n.无感觉，麻木，惊呆 | |
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102
intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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103
gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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104
sinewy
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| adj.多腱的，强壮有力的 | |
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105
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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106
demons
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| n.恶人( demon的名词复数 )；恶魔；精力过人的人；邪念 | |
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107
afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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108
guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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109
instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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110
zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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111
guile
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| n.诈术 | |
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112
banish
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| vt.放逐，驱逐；消除，排除 | |
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113
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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114
uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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115
calamity
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| n.灾害，祸患，不幸事件 | |
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116
unfamiliar
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| adj.陌生的，不熟悉的 | |
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117
outrage
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| n.暴行，侮辱，愤怒；vt.凌辱，激怒 | |
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118
fervor
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| n.热诚；热心；炽热 | |
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119
glazed
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| adj.光滑的，像玻璃的；上过釉的；呆滞无神的v.装玻璃( glaze的过去式)；上釉于，上光；（目光）变得呆滞无神 | |
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120
blemishes
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| n.（身体的）瘢点( blemish的名词复数 )；伤疤；瑕疵；污点 | |
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121
swooping
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| 俯冲，猛冲( swoop的现在分词 ) | |
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122
literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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123
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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124
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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125
picturesque
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| adj.美丽如画的，（语言）生动的，绘声绘色的 | |
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126
consistency
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| n.一贯性，前后一致，稳定性；(液体的)浓度 | |
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127
minor
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| adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修 | |
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128
deviations
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| 背离，偏离( deviation的名词复数 )； 离经叛道的行为 | |
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129
withdrawal
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| n.取回，提款；撤退，撤军；收回，撤销 | |
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130
qualms
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| n.不安；内疚 | |
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131
fleeting
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| adj.短暂的，飞逝的 | |
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132
disquiet
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| n.担心，焦虑 | |
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133
dispelled
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| v.驱散，赶跑( dispel的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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134
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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135
austere
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| adj.艰苦的；朴素的，朴实无华的；严峻的 | |
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ardor
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| n.热情，狂热 | |
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137
bullied
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| adj.被欺负了v.恐吓，威逼( bully的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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138
labyrinth
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| n.迷宫；难解的事物；迷路 | |
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139
imposing
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| adj.使人难忘的，壮丽的，堂皇的，雄伟的 | |
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140
neutralized
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| v.使失效( neutralize的过去式和过去分词 )；抵消；中和；使（一个国家）中立化 | |
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141
plunging
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| adj.跳进的，突进的v.颠簸( plunge的现在分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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142
reiterating
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| 反复地说，重申( reiterate的现在分词 ) | |
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143
testimony
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| n.证词；见证，证明 | |
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144
dispersed
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| adj. 被驱散的, 被分散的, 散布的 | |
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145
erasing
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| v.擦掉( erase的现在分词 )；抹去；清除 | |
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hoarse
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| adj.嘶哑的，沙哑的 | |
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