Chapter 23

MARTIN

 

I'm not averse¹ to having a go at DIY every now and again. I decorated the girls' bedrooms myself, with stencils² and everything. (And yes, there were TV cameras there, and the production company paid for every last drop of Day-Glo paint, but that doesn't make it any less of an achievement.) Anyway, if you're a fellow enthusiast³ then you'll know that sometimes you come across holes that are too big for filler, especially in the bathroom. And when that happens, the sloppy⁴ way to do it is to bung the holes up with anything you can find - broken matches, bits of sponge, whatever is to hand. Well, that was Chas's function that night: he was a bit of sponge that plugged a gap. The whole Jess and Chas thing was ludicrous, of course, a waste of time and energy, a banal⁵ little sideshow; but it absorbed us, got us down off the roof and even as I was listening to his preposterous⁶ speech I could see its value. I could also see that we were going to need a lot more bits of sponge over the coming weeks and months. Maybe that's what we all need, whether we're suicidal or not. Maybe life is just too big a gap to be plugged by filler, so we need anything we can get our hands on - sanders and planers, fifteen-year-olds, whatever -to fill it up.

'Hi, Jess,' said Chas when he was shoved out of the party and on to the street. He was trying to sound cheery and friendly and casual, as if he'd been hoping to bump into Jess at some point during the evening, but his general lack of volition⁷ undid⁸ him; cheeriness is hard to convey when you are too scared to make eye contact. He reminded me of a petty gangster⁹ caught thieving from the local godfather in a movie, out of his depth and desperately¹⁰ trying to suck up in order to save his skin.

'Why wouldn't you talk to me?'

'Yeah. Right. I knew you'd want to know that. And I've been thinking about it. I've been thinking about it very hard, actually, because, you know, it's… I'm not happy about it. It's weak. It's a weakness in me.'

'Don't overdo¹¹ it, man,' said JJ. There seemed no attempt on anyone's part to pretend that this was going to bear any resemblance to a real conversation.

'No. Right. So. First of all I should say sorry, and it won't happen again. And second of all: I find you very attractive, and stimulating¹² company, and…'

This time JJ just coughed ostentatiously.

'… And, well. It's not me, it's you.' He winced¹³. 'Sorry. Sorry. It's not you, it's me.'

At that point, just as he was trying to remember his lines, he caught my eye.

'Hey. You look like that wanker off the telly. Martin Thing.'

'It is him,' said Jess.

'How the fuck do you know him?'

'It's a long story,' I said.

'We were both just up on the roof of Toppers' House. We was going to throw ourselves off,' Jess said, thus making the long story considerably¹⁴ shorter, and, to be fair, leaving out very few of the salient points.

Chas swallowed this information almost visibly, like snakes swallow eggs: you could see the slow march to the brain. Chas, I'm sure, had many attractive aspects to his personality, but quickness of intelligence was not one of them. 'Because of that girl you shagged? And your wife and kids throwing you out and everything?' he asked finally.

'Why don't you ask Jess why she was going to jump? Isn't that more relevant?'

'Shut up,' said Jess. 'That's private.'

'Oh, and my stuff isn't?'

'No,' she said. 'Not any more. Everyone knows about it.'

'What's Penny Chambers¹⁵ like? In real life?'

'Is that what we came out here to talk about, Chas?' JJ said quietly.

'No. Right. Sorry. It's just a bit distracting, having someone off the telly standing¹⁶ there.'

'Do you want me to leave?'

'No,' said Jess quickly. 'I want you here.'

'I wouldn't have thought you'd be his type,' said Chas. 'Too old. Plus, he's a cunt.' He chuckled¹⁷, and then looked around for someone to share the chuckle¹⁸ with, but none of us - none of them, I should say, because even Chas didn't expect me to laugh at my own age or cunthood - was even remotely amused.

'Oh, right. It's like that, is it?'

And suddenly, yes, it was exactly like that: we were more serious than him, in every way.

And even Jess saw it.

'You're the tosser,' she said. 'None of this is anything to do with you. Fuck off out of my sight.' And then she kicked him - an old-fashioned, straight-legged toe into the meatiest part of the arse, as if the two of them were cartoon characters.

And that was the end of Chas.

1 averse   

adj.厌恶的；反对的，不乐意的

参考例句：

• I don't smoke cigarettes,but I'm not averse to the occasional cigar.我不吸烟，但我不反对偶尔抽一支雪茄。
• We are averse to such noisy surroundings.我们不喜欢这么吵闹的环境。

2 stencils   

n.蜡纸( stencil的名词复数 )；（有图案或文字的）模板；刻蜡纸者；用模板印出的文字或图案v.用模板印（文字或图案）( stencil的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• My job is to cut stencils and sort up mails. 我的工作是刻蜡板和把来信分类。 来自辞典例句
• Stencils are available to aid in the construction of neat flow charts. 型板用于帮助构成简洁的程序框图。 来自辞典例句

3 enthusiast   

n.热心人，热衷者

参考例句：

• He is an enthusiast about politics.他是个热衷于政治的人。
• He was an enthusiast and loved to evoke enthusiasm in others.他是一个激情昂扬的人，也热中于唤起他人心中的激情。

4 sloppy   

adj.邋遢的，不整洁的

参考例句：

• If you do such sloppy work again,I promise I'll fail you.要是下次作业你再马马虎虎，我话说在头里，可要给你打不及格了。
• Mother constantly picked at him for being sloppy.母亲不断地批评他懒散。

5 banal   

adj.陈腐的，平庸的

参考例句：

• Making banal remarks was one of his bad habits.他的坏习惯之一就是喜欢说些陈词滥调。
• The allegations ranged from the banal to the bizarre.从平淡无奇到离奇百怪的各种说法都有。

6 preposterous   

adj.荒谬的，可笑的

参考例句：

• The whole idea was preposterous.整个想法都荒唐透顶。
• It would be preposterous to shovel coal with a teaspoon.用茶匙铲煤是荒谬的。

7 volition   

n.意志；决意

参考例句：

• We like to think that everything we do and everything we think is a product of our volition.我们常常认为我们所做和所想的一切都出自自己的意愿。
• Makin said Mr Coombes had gone to the police of his own volition.梅金说库姆斯先生是主动去投案的。

8 Undid   

v. 解开, 复原

参考例句：

• The officer undid the flap of his holster and drew his gun. 军官打开枪套盖拔出了手枪。
• He did wrong, and in the end his wrongs undid him. 行恶者终以其恶毁其身。

9 gangster   

n.匪徒，歹徒，暴徒

参考例句：

• The gangster's friends bought off the police witness.那匪徒的朋友买通了警察方面的证人。
• He is obviously a gangster,but he pretends to be a saint.分明是强盗，却要装圣贤。

10 desperately   

adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地

参考例句：

• He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
• He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。

11 overdo   

vt.把...做得过头，演得过火

参考例句：

• Do not overdo your privilege of reproving me.不要过分使用责备我的特权。
• The taxi drivers' association is urging its members,who can work as many hours as they want,not to overdo it.出租车司机协会劝告那些工作时长不受限制的会员不要疲劳驾驶。

12 stimulating   

adj.有启发性的，能激发人思考的

参考例句：

• shower gel containing plant extracts that have a stimulating effect on the skin 含有对皮肤有益的植物精华的沐浴凝胶
• This is a drug for stimulating nerves. 这是一种兴奋剂。

13 winced   

赶紧避开，畏缩( wince的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He winced as the dog nipped his ankle. 狗咬了他的脚腕子，疼得他龇牙咧嘴。
• He winced as a sharp pain shot through his left leg. 他左腿一阵剧痛疼得他直龇牙咧嘴。

14 considerably   

adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上

参考例句：

• The economic situation has changed considerably.经济形势已发生了相当大的变化。
• The gap has narrowed considerably.分歧大大缩小了。

15 chambers   

n.房间( chamber的名词复数 )；（议会的）议院；卧室；会议厅

参考例句：

• The body will be removed into one of the cold storage chambers. 尸体将被移到一个冷冻间里。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Mr Chambers's readable book concentrates on the middle passage: the time Ransome spent in Russia. Chambers先生的这本值得一看的书重点在中间：Ransome在俄国的那几年。 来自互联网

16 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

17 chuckled   

轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• She chuckled at the memory. 想起这件事她就暗自发笑。
• She chuckled softly to herself as she remembered his astonished look. 想起他那惊讶的表情，她就轻轻地暗自发笑。

18 chuckle   

vi.／n.轻声笑，咯咯笑

参考例句：

• He shook his head with a soft chuckle.他轻轻地笑着摇了摇头。
• I couldn't suppress a soft chuckle at the thought of it.想到这个，我忍不住轻轻地笑起来。