Chapter 31

MAUREEN

 

So I went home, and I put the television on, and made a cup of tea, and I phoned the centre, and the two young fellas delivered Matty to the house, and I put him in front of the TV, and it all started again. It was hard to see how I'd last another six weeks. I know we had an agreement, but I never thought I'd see any of them again anyway. Oh, we exchanged telephone numbers and addresses and so forth¹. (Martin had to explain to me that if I didn't have a computer, then I wouldn't have an email address. I wasn't sure whether I'd have one or not. I thought it might have come in one of those envelopes you throw away.) But I didn't think we'd actually be using them. I'll tell you God's honest truth, even though it'll make me sound as if I was feeling sorry for myself: I thought they might see each other, but they'd keep me out of it. I was too old for them, and too old-fashioned, with my shoes and all. I'd had an interesting time going to parties and seeing all the strange people there, but it hadn't changed anything. I was still going back to pick Matty up, and I still had no life to live beyond the life I was already sick and tired of. You might be thinking, well, why isn't she angry? But of course I am angry. I don't know why I ever pretend I'm not. The church had something to do with it, I suppose. And maybe my age, because we were taught not to grumble², weren't we? But some days - most days - I want to scream and shout and break things and kill people. Oh, there's anger, right enough. You can't be stuck with a life like this one and not get angry. Anyway. A couple of days later the phone rang, and this woman with a posh voice said, 'Is that Maureen?'

'It is.'

'This is the Metropolitan³ Police.'

'Oh, hello,' I said.

'Hello. We've had reports that your son was causing trouble in the shopping centre on New Year's Eve. Shoplifting and sniffing⁴ glue and mugging people and so on.'

'I'm afraid it couldn't have been my son,' I said, like an eejit. 'He has a disability.'

'And you're sure he's not putting the disability on?'

I even thought about this for half a second. Well, you do, don't you, when it's the police? You want to make absolutely sure that you're telling the absolute truth, just in case you get into trouble later on.

'He'd be a very good actor if he was.'

'And you're sure he's not a very good actor?'

'Oh, positive. You see, he's too disabled to act.'

'But how about if that's an act? Only, the er, the wossname fits his description. The suspect.'

'What's the description?' I don't know why I said that. To be helpful, I suppose.

'We'll come to that, madam. Can you account for his whereabouts on New Year's Eve? Were you with him?'

I felt a chill⁵ run through me then. The date hadn't registered at first. They'd got me. I didn't know whether to lie or not. Supposing someone from the home had taken him out and used him as a cover, sort of thing? One of those young fellas, say? They looked nice enough, but you don't know, do you? Supposing they had gone shoplifting, and hidden something under Matty's blanket? Supposing they all went out drinking, and they took Matty with them, and they got into a fight, and they pushed the wheelchair hard towards someone they were fighting with? And the police saw him careering into someone, and they didn't know that he couldn't have pushed himself, so they thought he was joining in? And afterwards he was just playing dumb because he didn't want to get into trouble? Well, you could hurt someone, crashing into them with a wheelchair. You could break someone's leg. And supposing… Actually, even in the middle of my little panic I couldn't really see how he'd manage the glue sniffing. But even so! These were all the things that went through my mind. It was all guilt⁶, I suppose. I hadn't been with him, and I should have been, and the reason I hadn't been with him was because I wanted to leave him for ever.

'I wasn't with him, no. He was being looked after.'

'Ah. I see.'

'He was perfectly⁷ safe.'

'I'm sure he was, madam. But we're not talking about his safety, are we? We're talking about the safety of people in the Wood Green shopping centre.'

Wood Green! He was all the way up in Wood Green!

'No. Yes. Sorry.'

'Are you really sorry? Are you really really really f— sorry?'

I couldn't believe my ears. I knew the police used bad language, of course. But I thought it would come out more when they were under stress, with terrorists⁸ and such like, not on the phone to members of the public in the course of a routine inquiry⁹. Unless, of course, she really was under stress. Could Matty, or whoever pushed him, have actually killed someone? A child, maybe?

'Maureen.'

'Yes, I'm still here.'

'Maureen, I'm not really a policewoman. I'm Jess.'

'Oh.' I could feel myself blushing¹⁰ at my own stupidity.

'You believed me, didn't you, you silly old bag.'

'Yes, I believed you.'

She could hear in my voice that she'd upset me, so she didn't try to make any more of it.

'Have you seen the papers?'

'No. I don't look at them.'

'We're in them.'

'Who's in them?'

'We are. Well, Martin and I are in them by name. What a laugh, eh?'

'What does it say?'

'It says that me and Martin and two other mystery, you know, people had a suicide¹¹ pact¹².'

'That's not true'.

'Der. And it says I'm the Junior Minister for Education's daughter.'

'Why does it say that?'

'Because I am.'

'Oh.'

'I'm just telling you so you know what's in the papers. Are you surprised?'

'Well, you do swear a lot, for a politician's daughter.'

'And a woman reporter came round to JJ's flat and asked him whether we came down for an inspirational reason.'

'What does that mean?'

'We don't know. Anyway. We're going to have a crisis¹³ meeting.'

'Who is?'

The four of us. Big reunion. Maybe in the place where we had breakfast.'

'I can't go anywhere.'

'Why not?'

'Because of Matty. That's one of the reasons I was up on the roof. Because I can never go anywhere.'

'We could come to you.'

I began to flush¹⁴ again. I didn't want them here.

'No, no. I'll think of something. When are you thinking of meeting up?'

'Later on today.'

'Oh, I won't be able to sort anything out for today.'

'So we'll come to you.'

'Please don't. I haven't tidied up.'

'So tidy up.'

'I've never had anyone from the television in my house. Or a politician's daughter.'

'I won't put on any airs or graces. We'll see you at five.'

And that gave me three hours to sort everything out, put everything away. It does drive you a little bit mad, a life like mine, I think. You have to be a little mad to want to jump off the top of a building. You have to be a little mad to come down again. You have to be more than a little mad to put up with Matty, and the staying in all the time, and the loneliness. But I do think I'm only a little mad. If I were really mad, I wouldn't have worried about the tidying up. And if I were really, properly mad, I wouldn't have minded what they found.

1 forth   

adv.向前；向外，往外

参考例句：

• The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
• He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。

2 grumble   

vi.抱怨；咕哝；n.抱怨，牢骚；咕哝，隆隆声

参考例句：

• I don't want to hear another grumble from you.我不愿再听到你的抱怨。
• He could do nothing but grumble over the situation.他除了埋怨局势之外别无他法。

3 metropolitan   

adj.大城市的，大都会的

参考例句：

• Metropolitan buildings become taller than ever.大城市的建筑变得比以前更高。
• Metropolitan residents are used to fast rhythm.大都市的居民习惯于快节奏。

4 sniffing   

n.探查法v.以鼻吸气，嗅，闻( sniff的现在分词 )；抽鼻子（尤指哭泣、患感冒等时出声地用鼻子吸气）；抱怨，不以为然地说

参考例句：

• We all had colds and couldn't stop sniffing and sneezing. 我们都感冒了，一个劲地抽鼻子，打喷嚏。
• They all had colds and were sniffing and sneezing. 他们都伤风了，呼呼喘气而且打喷嚏。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

5 chill   

vt.使变冷，使冷却，使沮丧；n.寒冷，风寒

参考例句：

• With the chill factor,it's nearly minus forty here.加上风寒指数，气温接近零下40度。
• The bad news cast a chill over the whole family.这坏消息使全家人感到沮丧。

6 guilt   

n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责

参考例句：

• She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
• Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。

7 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

8 terrorists   

n.恐怖主义者，恐怖分子( terrorist的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The terrorists have halted their bloody campaign of violence. 恐怖分子已经停止了他们凶残的暴力活动。
• They were finally forced to capitulate to the terrorists' demands. 他们最后被迫屈从恐怖分子的要求。

9 inquiry   

n.打听，询问，调查，查问

参考例句：

• Many parents have been pressing for an inquiry into the problem.许多家长迫切要求调查这个问题。
• The field of inquiry has narrowed down to five persons.调查的范围已经缩小到只剩5个人了。

10 blushing   

adj．脸红的 动词blush的现在分词形式

参考例句：

• Shame-faced and blushing, the women took their leave and rowed off again. 几个女人羞红着脸告辞出来，摇开靠在岸边上的小船。
• Jennie came forward,extending her hand and blushing. 珍妮走上前，伸出她的手，面色赤红。

11 suicide   

n.自杀，自毁，自杀性行为

参考例句：

• The number of suicide has increased.自杀案件的数量增加了。
• The death was adjudged a suicide by sleeping pills.该死亡事件被判定为服用安眠药自杀。

12 pact   

n.合同，条约，公约，协定

参考例句：

• The two opposition parties made an electoral pact.那两个反对党订了一个有关选举的协定。
• The trade pact between those two countries came to an end.那两国的通商协定宣告结束。

13 crisis   

n.危机，危急关头，决定性时刻，关键阶段

参考例句：

• He had proved that he could be relied on in a crisis.他已表明，在紧要关头他是可以信赖的。
• The topic today centers about the crisis in the Middle East.今天课题的中心是中东危机。

14 flush   

vi.奔流；vt.冲洗；adj.齐平的；n.脸色，脸红

参考例句：

• Father asked me to flush off the garage floor.父亲叫我冲洗车库的地板。
• There was a flush in her cheeks.她满脸通红。