THE nonresistant, resolving to make the street his castle, stood for some minutes making grimaces1, and hurling2 coarse invective3 at the landlord, who, with sundry4 idlers, had gathered into the portico5. He then took his leave, swearing to have satisfaction of his assailants, as Giles Sheridan, looking out at the window, said he should long remember the fellow for the courtesy he had manifested towards him.
Peace being restored, the landlord, his shirt ruffle7 in a sad plight8, returned to apologize for the disturbance9 to his guests; while peeping in at the door, I saw Bessie, her black eyes almost swimming in tears, and evidently alarmed for my safety. Again Giles Sheridan spoke10 up and said: "It can be no good that brought the fellow hither. He must have been begotten11 under an evil star, and nursed by a virago12. The fellow has but to take good care of his invective; and if he adopt the ass6 instead of the madman, he may in time become an excellent critic." Here he paused, turned his head quickly, and frisked his fingers nervously13 through his straight, silvery hair. The clerical looking groom14, hearing the little deformed15 man speak thus, led his young bride frightened to bed.
The lecturer now drew a much worn and almost illegible16 manuscript from his pocket, and commenced reading to me a few passages from it, in a clear, shrill17 voice, and with much earnestness of manner. His love of approbation18, I saw, was only equaled by his want of self-confidence, which made him anxious to hear what I would say of it. So I listened with more than ordinary attention while he read, and then expressed a firm belief that the people of Barnstable could not fail to appreciate his ascetics19. This so encouraged him that his heart seemed beating with joy, and he warmed into enthusiasm, and read on, watching intently the changes of my countenance20, as if he wished to read in them my fleeting21 thoughts. I was about to inquire whether it were good policy to measure public taste by one's own, when he paused, and heaving a sigh, said in a modulated22 tone of voice, that so many queer inquiries23 had been made of him respecting Crabbe, that he began to doubt whether he could interest the people in a discourse25 upon the character of one they had scarce heard of. No longer ago than yesterday, he said, General Sam Wheeler, the popular high school committeeman, looked in to say, that it was getting all over Barnstable, and had very nearly got into the columns of the Patriot26, that he had been got down by the evil agency of the anti-temperance men to lecture on a new process of making brandy from crab24 apples. And the Baptist clergyman rather encouraged this report, which was doing serious damage. I was told, too, that the subject of my lecture had been warmly debated by the ladies of the Orthodox Sewing Circle, where Mrs. Silas Heywood, who had written several strong articles for the Patriot, which journal adopted them as its own, was heard to declare emphatically that she had never heard of this man Crabbe, though she had read no end of books. Miss Bruce had been six quarters at the high-school, knew something of Latin and algebra27, and had taken music lessons of Monsieur Pensiné; but she had never heard of Crabbe until she read "Night and Morning," where, out of sheer affectation, as it seemed to her, she found that the author had made sundry quotations28 from him to adorn29 the heads of his chapters. As for Miss Leland, who had been two years abroad with her father and mother, and was supposed to know all about literature and the poets, she thought Mr. Crabbe could not be much, since she had not even heard of him while in England. Mr. Faulkner, the storekeeper, had not a book of Crabbe on his shelves, though he dealt largely in hardware and literature, and was a very respectable scholar. And Squire30 Brigham, the lawyer, who mixed himself up with other people's business a great deal, busied himself in saying: Crabbe must have been an obscure fellow, for though there was a pyramid of old books in his library, he had not one of this author's among them; and perhaps he ought to be thankful for it, for indeed Mrs. Forbush had said to him in confidence, that she understood of the little deformed man that Crabbe had written some very bad things of lawyers. Mrs. Forbush went regularly to Boston to get the fashions and attend the Lowell lectures; Mrs. Forbush had written a religious novel for the "Olive Branch;" Mrs. Forbush said, who would have thought of giving such a looking little creature five dollars and his victuals31 for lecturing upon such a subject
The cry of fire without, and the loud peals32 of an alarm bell, suddenly threw the town and the tavern33 into a state of great excitement. Giles Sheridan stopped short in his discourse, and the inmates34 of the house rushed in great agitation35 into the street. The alarm spread rapidly, and people began to run in every direction but the right one. One declared it a false alarm. That it was set on foot to afford recreation for the mischievous36, another was quite sure. A third was ready to swear he saw the incendiary run down "the lane." People ran in opposite directions, crying fire. People, wayward and confused, were endeavoring to persuade one another that the scene of the fire was not in the direction they were going, though neither smoke nor flame could be seen in any part of the town. And while the people were thus confused, an harsh and grating voice cried out that the fire was down the lane, a narrow pathway that led from one part of the town to another. The confused figures of men who had stood contemplating37 here and there about the square, now rushed down the lane, and soon came in hearing of moans and lamentations, which grew louder and louder, as of one in great distress38. "Oh! unworthy sinner that I am, let every man exert himself to remedy this misfortune!" a stifled39 voice was heard to cry out, as a crowd, having gathered round a pit, where some workmen had been digging for a well, discovered no less a person at the bottom, half buried in sand and water, than Major Roger Potter. "Peace, good man, and thy misfortune shall be remedied soon," said the Orthodox clergyman, who was among the alarmists, and, notwithstanding his accustomed frigidity40, could scarce suppress a smile at seeing the major cut so sorry a figure. The clergyman now ordered the bystanders, who were much more inclined to enjoy the joke, to bring ropes, and assist in relieving the distressed41 man, who, if not a friend of the church, was at least a Christian42. "Aye, aye," responded the major, "and be not long about it, for the sand is caving in, and I feel the devil fingering my toes." Seeing the people come to his relief, the major regained43 his courage, (for when discovered he was nearly frightened out of his wits,) and began heaping curses upon the head of the miscreant44 who had laid so diabolical45 a plot against his life. Indeed, he stubbornly refused to be convinced that it was anything else than a trick of his enemies to rob him of his military title. In fine, he declared to the parson, who several times rebuked46 him for his free use of profane47 adjectives, that nothing but his good will for mankind in general prevented him from taking summary vengeance48 of his enemies with his sword, which, fortunately for those who were making light of his distress, he had left at home. It was not that he set so high a value upon his life, for he had shown while in the Mexican War that he was not wanting in valor49, and was ready at any moment to sacrifice it to his honor; but it sorely grieved him to think of what a loss the nation and Barnstable would suffer in his death by falling into a pit.
The rabble50, as he called those who had come to his relief, now began to jeer51 him, and to demand of him a speech, merely to occupy the time while ropes necessary to his deliverance were being brought. This so enraged52 the major, that in addition to swearing he would not be drawn53 up by such a set of inhuman54 rascals55, he commenced to curse his hard fate. A few moments more and he became calm, and looking up beseechingly56 in the clergyman's face, which was reflected by the light of a lantern, he enjoined57 him to hasten to his wife, Polly Potter, and tell her of the plight he was in. She had never forsaken58 him in his misfortunes. But the clergyman was scrupulous59 of his dignity, and not fancying the strong quality of the expletives he was using, took his leave, saying he could not waste sympathy upon one who so far forgot his afflictions as to take the name of the Lord in vain.
Ropes were now at hand, and amidst much laughter and jeering60, the major was relieved from his perilous61 position, not, however, until his face had received some bruises62 and his garments much injury. The crowd now professed63 so much affection for him, that he began to deplore64 the loss of his temper, and to offer apologies for what he had said when in the pit, which were readily accepted, with regrets for his misfortune. Indeed, he inwardly congratulated himself that he had not lost a whit65 of his political or military popularity, and that the mishap66 was one of those peculiar67 interpositions of Providence68 which may occur in the life of any great man. As to the oaths that had lost him the friendship of the clergyman, he regretted them from the very bottom of his heart, and hoped his friends, in the exercise of that generosity69 they had ever evinced for him, would set them down to the bewildered and confused state of his faculties70. Hoping he would never again be in a condition to merit their jokes, the major bowed in the politest manner, and turned to take his departure, adding that he would have to perform certain offices pleasing to his wife, Polly. He had, however, no sooner turned his back, than the crowd gave out shouts of laughter, seeing the condition his nether71 garments were in. Being unconscious of the cause, the major mistook their shouts for a manifestation72 of his popularity, and having paused to acknowledge it with a bow, continued on his way as the crowd dispersed73.
It seems that the mischievous urchins74, on seeing the major enter the tavern, mounted his team and drove several times round the town, the pig and chickens keeping up a medley75 of noise that seriously annoyed numerous peaceably-disposed citizens. And having satisfied their mischievous propensities76, they left old Battle to himself, knowing that he would keep faith with his master. Finding his faithful animal gone, when he issued from the tavern, the major, not doubting the steady habits of his horse, very naturally believed that he had taken his way home, and thus forestalled77 his arrival. The only thing that caused him any fear was, that some accident might occur to his live stock. He therefore took the shortest road home, and so completely absorbed in the contemplation of his profits, and of the prospect78 of another chance for political fame, was he, that he hastened on regardless of the planks79 the workmen had placed round the well they were digging, and of which he became conscious only when he had tumbled some twenty feet to the bottom. Beginning to sink deeper and deeper in the sand, from which all his efforts to extricate80 himself failed, he set up a cry of fire, regarding it the one which would soonest bring him relief. And this cry he bawled81 until he sent the whole town into a state of excitement.
And now, since I have exhausted82 the limits of my chapter, I must reserve what took place between the major and his wife Polly, and how she almost fainted at seeing him enter the house in so shattered a condition, for another chapter.
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1
grimaces
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| n.（表蔑视、厌恶等）面部扭曲，鬼脸( grimace的名词复数 )v.扮鬼相，做鬼脸( grimace的第三人称单数 ) | |
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hurling
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| n.爱尔兰式曲棍球v.猛投，用力掷( hurl的现在分词 )；大声叫骂 | |
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invective
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| n.痛骂，恶意抨击 | |
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sundry
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| adj.各式各样的，种种的 | |
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portico
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| n.柱廊，门廊 | |
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ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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ruffle
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| v.弄皱，弄乱；激怒，扰乱；n.褶裥饰边 | |
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plight
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| n.困境，境况，誓约，艰难；vt.宣誓，保证，约定 | |
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disturbance
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| n.动乱，骚动；打扰，干扰；(身心)失调 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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begotten
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| v.为…之生父( beget的过去分词 )；产生，引起 | |
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virago
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| n.悍妇 | |
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nervously
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| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
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groom
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| vt.给（马、狗等）梳毛，照料，使...整洁 | |
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deformed
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| adj.畸形的；变形的；丑的，破相了的 | |
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illegible
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| adj.难以辨认的，字迹模糊的 | |
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shrill
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| adj.尖声的；刺耳的；v尖叫 | |
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approbation
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| n.称赞；认可 | |
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ascetics
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| n.苦行者，禁欲者，禁欲主义者( ascetic的名词复数 ) | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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fleeting
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| adj.短暂的，飞逝的 | |
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modulated
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| 已调整[制]的，被调的 | |
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inquiries
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| n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 )；疑问；探究；打听 | |
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crab
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| n.螃蟹，偏航，脾气乖戾的人，酸苹果；vi.捕蟹，偏航，发牢骚；vt.使偏航，发脾气 | |
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discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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patriot
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| n.爱国者，爱国主义者 | |
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algebra
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| n.代数学 | |
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quotations
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| n.引用( quotation的名词复数 )；[商业]行情（报告）；（货物或股票的）市价；时价 | |
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adorn
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| vt.使美化，装饰 | |
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squire
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| n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
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victuals
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| n.食物；食品 | |
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peals
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| n.（声音大而持续或重复的）洪亮的响声( peal的名词复数 )；隆隆声；洪亮的钟声；钟乐v.（使）（钟等）鸣响，（雷等）发出隆隆声( peal的第三人称单数 ) | |
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tavern
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| n.小旅馆，客栈；小酒店 | |
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inmates
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| n.囚犯( inmate的名词复数 ) | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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mischievous
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| adj.调皮的，恶作剧的，有害的，伤人的 | |
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contemplating
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| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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stifled
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| （使）窒息， （使）窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 )； 镇压，遏制； 堵 | |
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frigidity
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| n.寒冷；冷淡；索然无味；（尤指妇女的）性感缺失 | |
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distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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regained
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| 复得( regain的过去式和过去分词 )； 赢回； 重回； 复至某地 | |
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miscreant
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| n.恶棍 | |
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diabolical
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| adj.恶魔似的，凶暴的 | |
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rebuked
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| 责难或指责( rebuke的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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profane
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| adj.亵神的，亵渎的；vt.亵渎，玷污 | |
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vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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valor
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| n.勇气，英勇 | |
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rabble
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| n.乌合之众，暴民；下等人 | |
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51
jeer
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| vi.嘲弄，揶揄；vt.奚落；n.嘲笑，讥评 | |
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enraged
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| 使暴怒( enrage的过去式和过去分词 )； 歜； 激愤 | |
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53
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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inhuman
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| adj.残忍的，不人道的，无人性的 | |
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rascals
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| 流氓( rascal的名词复数 )； 无赖； （开玩笑说法）淘气的人（尤指小孩）； 恶作剧的人 | |
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beseechingly
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| adv. 恳求地 | |
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enjoined
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| v.命令( enjoin的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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Forsaken
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| adj. 被遗忘的, 被抛弃的 动词forsake的过去分词 | |
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scrupulous
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| adj.审慎的，小心翼翼的，完全的，纯粹的 | |
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jeering
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| adj.嘲弄的，揶揄的v.嘲笑( jeer的现在分词 ) | |
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perilous
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| adj.危险的，冒险的 | |
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bruises
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| n.瘀伤，伤痕，擦伤( bruise的名词复数 ) | |
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professed
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| 公开声称的，伪称的，已立誓信教的 | |
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deplore
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| vt.哀叹，对...深感遗憾 | |
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whit
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| n.一点，丝毫 | |
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mishap
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| n.不幸的事，不幸；灾祸 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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generosity
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| n.大度，慷慨，慷慨的行为 | |
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faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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nether
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| adj.下部的，下面的；n.阴间；下层社会 | |
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manifestation
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| n.表现形式；表明；现象 | |
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dispersed
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| adj. 被驱散的, 被分散的, 散布的 | |
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urchins
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| n.顽童( urchin的名词复数 )；淘气鬼；猬；海胆 | |
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medley
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| n.混合 | |
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propensities
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| n.倾向，习性( propensity的名词复数 ) | |
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forestalled
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| v.先发制人，预先阻止( forestall的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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planks
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| （厚）木板( plank的名词复数 )； 政纲条目，政策要点 | |
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extricate
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| v.拯救，救出；解脱 | |
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bawled
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| v.大叫，大喊( bawl的过去式和过去分词 )；放声大哭；大声叫出；叫卖（货物） | |
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exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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