MAJOR ROGER SHERMAN POTTER lived in a little red house in the outskirts1 of the town of Barnstable. There were two crabbed2 little windows in front, for it could boast of but one story, and a narrow green door, over which a prairie rose bush clustered, as if to hide its infirmity. A small window, reminding one of a half closed jacknife, and in which were two earthen flower pots containing mignonnette, set jauntily3 upon the roof, which was so covered with black moss4, that it was impossible to tell whether it was shingled5 or tiled. Indeed such was the shattered condition of the little tenement6, that you might easily have imagined it suffering from a forty years' attack of chronic7 disease, and quite unfit for the habitation of so great a military hero. The major, however, had a peculiar8 faculty9 for reconciling humbleness10 with greatness, and always overcame the remonstrances12 of his wife, (who was continually urging the necessity of a larger tenement, in accordance with their advanced popularity,) by reminding her that General Scott, who was a great military hero, and to whom the nation owed a debt of gratitude13 it had no notion of discharging until after his death, was kept poor and humble11 by the nation, merely for its own convenience. In truth, whenever Polly Potter upbraided14 the major for not keeping up proper appearances, he would mutter so that her ears could not escape the meaning, that rags might cover a nobleman, while the knave15 might scent16 his fine linen17 with the perfumes of Arabia. In reply to this, Polly would remind him in her own way, that tattered18 garments and good society were not the fashion of the day, and seldom went together.
"Well, here I am, wife! in an unsuitable condition, I confess," said the major, stalking into his little habitation, and embracing his wife, who had been waiting his coming in great anxiety, seeing that old Battle had arrived nearly an hour previous, with the tin wagon19 in a very disordered condition. "Heavens! my faithful husband, my dear good husband, what has happened?" shrieked21 his wife, standing22 aghast for a moment, and then throwing herself almost fainting into his arms, as two shy looking and ill clad little girls, and a boy of some twelve years old, clung about her garments, and commenced to cry with all the might of their lungs. The major's wife was a slender, meekly23 attired24 woman, with exceedingly sharp features, a bright, watchful25 eye, evincing great energy of character, and a complexion26 which might be considered a compromise between the color of Dr. Townsend's sarsaparilla and the daintiest olive-induced, as the major afterwards told me, by bilious27 disorder20.
The major was at a loss how to account to his wife for his shattered condition, nor was he conscious of the disordered state of his nether28 garments, the rent in which had been made larger by the process of getting him out of the pit. However, as her recovery was almost as sudden as her notion to faint, and seeing that nothing serious had resulted therefrom, he placed her in a chair, and commenced recounting to her how he got into the pit, which he swore, and made her believe, was set for him by his enemies, who had for many years bore him great malice29, in consequence of his fame, which, God knows, he had worked hard enough to gain. "La's me, husband," said the artless woman, making him a return of her affections; "it's just what I've a dozen times told you they'd do, if they'd only a sly chance. There's Robins30 Dobson, who has been trying for years to be Major of the Invincibles, and it's just what his wife wants. She wants to see his name, with the title 'tached, in the Patriot31 some mornin'. Poor folks has a hard enough time to get up in the world, and when they gets up, everybody wants to pull 'em down. That's the way the world goes." As it had always been a custom with the good woman to believe no greater military character than the major ever lived-an opinion he shared to the fullest extent-so was it the most pleasing thing with him to reciprocate32 the honor by asserting, whenever an opportunity offered, that history afforded no example of a military hero ever before being blessed with so good a wife. Indeed I very much doubt whether there ever existed a heaven in which love, joy, and mutual33 confidence were so liberally exchanged as in this, the major's little tenement. As for furniture, it could boast of but little, and that of the shabbiest kind. It was true, there was a print of General Scott hung upon the discolored wall, and another of Zack Taylor, and another of General Pierce, mounted upon a ferocious-looking charger, and about to demonstrate his courage (not in attacking the lines of an enemy) by rushing into the thickest of a hailstorm. By these, especially the latter, Polly Potter set great store, inasmuch as they illustrated34 the major's taste for the profession of which he was so illustrious a member. I had almost forgotten to mention, while enumerating35 the portraits of these great generals, that there was hanging over the tea-table (as if to do penance36 for some grievous wrong committed against that venerable institutution) a picture of General Webb, who had distinguished37 himself in several great battles, fought in the columns of an almost pious38 newspaper, published in Wall Street, New York, and whom Polly Potter verily believed, having heard it of the neighbors, to be a wonderful diplomatist, which was rare in so great a general.
"And now, seeing that we have had but scanty39 fare for the week past, and have got deeply in debt to the grocer, who has twice threatened to take our little things for pay, pray tell us of your voyage, and what success you have met with;" said the good woman, which reminded the major of his neglect of his faithful horse, which, in reply to a question concerning his arrival, he was told had come safely home, and been put in the barn, but without either pig or chickens. The major was not a little surprised on hearing this account of his team, and repaired at once to the barn, where he found old Battle a little jaded40, but otherwise in his usual good condition, and as ready as ever to acknowledge the caresses41 of his kind master. To his utter astonishment42 neither pig nor chickens, upon which he had set so much store, as constituting the larger half of his available profits, were to be seen. He now swore either that the town was full of thieves, or that it was another trick of his enemies to deprive him of the means of sustaining his hard-earned reputation. His wife now, evincing great grief at the sad misfortune, held the lantern while he counted his skins and tin ware43, which he found to tally44 exactly with his account of stock, which he kept on a dingy45 slip of paper, with the exactness of a cotton broker46. "Curse on these enemies of mine; they are all an evil minded set of blockheads!" ejaculated the major, pausing to consider a moment, and then heaving a sigh. "Husband, curse not your enemies," enjoined47 the confiding49 woman, "for the Scripture50 teacheth that we must pray for them; and you know we have much need of being exalted51 above them."
"I leave what the Scripture teacheth to Parson Boomer," interrupted the major, "who deals in that sort of commerce. Scripture, as I take it, has little to do with one's military reputation. And, may the devil take me if I don't think military men get it right nine times out of ten, and won't be far behind them in getting to heaven, (I mean the parsons,) unless they look well to the state of their morals."
Being very short, and stout52, and singularly duck-legged withal, the major, having had his attention called to the condition of his garments, drew forth53 his cotton handkerchief and hung it about his loins, as a means of protecting the exposed state of his battery. Thus protected in his dignity, he resolved that his wife should bear him company, and together they would sally down the road a mile or two, in search of his lost live stock. As this necessarily incurred54 some danger to his person, which it required courage to overcome, he thought it well to step into the house and get his sword, a weapon that never failed him, and with which, according to his own account, he had killed innumerable Mexicans. Having girded on this venerable weapon, he came forth as never before did military hero, swearing to have satisfaction of every enemy who chanced in his way.
Let it be understood by all my military acquaintances, that I mean no offence in what I have here written. Nor must it be inferred because I have thus accoutered the major, who must be set down for a military politician, that such is the fashion with all great majors and colonels; for indeed history furnishes no account of their going to war with what is generally accepted as their most vital parts protected with pocket handkerchiefs, not even when fleeing before the enemies' bullets. Nor would this history sustain the reputation for truth I have from the beginning resolved it shall maintain with generations yet unborn, were I to leave unrecorded this act of heroism55, seeing that it has so many counterparts among those who affect the profession of arms, and are honest enough in their belief that the nation's battles cannot be fought without them.
And now, having prepared himself for a tilt56 with assailants, rather than a search for his pig and poultry57, he strode forth, his wife following a few steps behind, lantern in hand, and so regulating the shadow as not to obstruct58 his vision. Being a woman of great kindness, and much given to religion, his wife would pause every few steps, and enjoin48 the major to treat his adversary59, if any he should chance to meet, with great consideration. There was no knowing, she said, but that it might all be the work of some mischievous60 boys. "That may be, wife; but they are set on by older heads. There's Captain Tom Baker61, and Sergeant62 Prentice, of the Invincibles, in it somewhere! And they'll never stop molesting63 me until they have felt the weight of this sword!" returned the major, touching64 the hilt of his sword, and quickening his pace.
They had not proceeded far, when the rippling65 of a brook66, and a slight rustling67 of leaves among some bushes by the roadside, caused the major to halt suddenly, half unsheath his sword, and place himself in an attitude of defence. "I said we should find them, wife; and may the devil take me if I don't make dead men of them in a trice."
"Truly, husband, it is only the wind and the brook you hear, and which, at this hour of the night, sounds very like the talking of conspiring68 men," interupted the woman, as if to encourage the major, who shrugged69 his shoulders, and began to show signs of fear in the backward and cautious movement of his steps. "As I hope to be saved, wife," returned our hero, in a modified tone of voice, "though it takes more than a trifle to alarm me, who has seen much service in Mexico, I am not mistaken. A vagabond of some kind lurks70 in the bushes yonder, for I heard his voice as distinctly as if it had been bawled71 into my ears. There! hear you not the sound of his footsteps? Go you ahead with the light, and leave the rest to me."
"Pray, husband, do not let your fancies lead you to rash acts."
"Rash acts?" rejoined the major, "to kill a score of such lurking72 vagabonds would only be doing good service for the devil, who merits one's aid now and then." In evidence of her faith in the cause of the sounds, the good woman advanced forward, and, followed by the major, with his sword drawn73 and braced74, they proceeded cautiously on over the bridge, though not until our hero had several times stopped to listen, which he declared was enjoined by every rule of the profession, and was a means to avoid surprise while advancing upon an enemy.
Having ascended75 the brow of a hill, a short distance beyond the bridge, it was agreed between the major and his wife, that, being out of danger, they might now look more after the lost property and think less of assailants. The major, in the meantime, commenced giving his wife an account of the pig's knowing qualities, which, together with a description of the eccentric swine driver, amused her not a little. If the pig, she argued, was possessed76 of one half the gifts set down to him, he would take care of himself for the night; and as to the chickens, not even the black people who lived on the hill, would think of coming out at night to steal them-for though they were proverbially fond of keeping a large poultry yard, and not over scrupulous77 of the means by which they supplied it-they were too sparing of their energies to waste them at that hour of night. She therefore enjoined that they return peaceably home, and leave the search to be resumed at daylight. The major admitted the reason of his wife's argument, but declared his determination to traverse the road round and return by way of the tavern78. It might, in truth, betray a want of courage, did he retrace79 his steps at this stage of the road.
"As to courage, husband," said his wife, holding the lantern so near that the shadow reflected over his broad face, "I am sure you have already proved that you are not wanting in that; and as there are but a few hours until daylight, we had as well go home and get us comfortably to bed." The figure of a man, whose dusky shadow reflected along the fence, was now seen approaching in the road. The major had no sooner descried80 him, than he fell in with his wife's opinion, and as a practical illustration of his faith in it, commenced retracing81 his steps so fast that it was with much difficulty she could keep up with him. Looking neither to the right nor the left, he continued on until he had gained the house, from the door of which he turned to look back, when, finding the figure had vanished, he said with an air of regained82 courage, that it was not that he feared the miscreant83, but having a wife and three children dependent upon him, he could not hope for forgiveness were he to risk his valuable life in combat with a lurking vagabond. He therefore shut the door, partook of an humble supper, and went quietly to bed, leaving the pig and chickens to take care of themselves until daylight.
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outskirts
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| n.郊外，郊区 | |
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crabbed
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| adj.脾气坏的；易怒的；（指字迹）难辨认的；（字迹等）难辨认的v.捕蟹( crab的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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jauntily
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| adv.心满意足地；洋洋得意地；高兴地；活泼地 | |
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moss
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| n.苔，藓，地衣 | |
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shingled
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| adj.盖木瓦的；贴有墙面板的v.用木瓦盖(shingle的过去式和过去分词形式) | |
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tenement
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| n.公寓；房屋 | |
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chronic
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| adj.(疾病)长期未愈的，慢性的；极坏的 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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humbleness
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| n.谦卑，谦逊；恭顺 | |
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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remonstrances
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| n.抱怨，抗议( remonstrance的名词复数 ) | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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upbraided
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| v.责备，申斥，谴责( upbraid的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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knave
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| n.流氓；（纸牌中的）杰克 | |
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scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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linen
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| n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的 | |
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tattered
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| adj.破旧的，衣衫破的 | |
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wagon
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| n.四轮马车，手推车，面包车；无盖运货列车 | |
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disorder
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| n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调 | |
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shrieked
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| v.尖叫( shriek的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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meekly
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| adv.温顺地，逆来顺受地 | |
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attired
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| adj.穿着整齐的v.使穿上衣服，使穿上盛装( attire的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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watchful
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| adj.注意的，警惕的 | |
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complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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bilious
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| adj.胆汁过多的；易怒的 | |
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nether
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| adj.下部的，下面的；n.阴间；下层社会 | |
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malice
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| n.恶意，怨恨，蓄意；[律]预谋 | |
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robins
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| n.知更鸟，鸫( robin的名词复数 )；（签名者不分先后，以避免受责的）圆形签名抗议书（或请愿书） | |
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patriot
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| n.爱国者，爱国主义者 | |
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reciprocate
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| v.往复运动；互换；回报，酬答 | |
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mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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illustrated
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| adj. 有插图的，列举的 动词illustrate的过去式和过去分词 | |
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enumerating
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| v.列举，枚举，数( enumerate的现在分词 ) | |
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penance
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| n.（赎罪的）惩罪 | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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pious
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| adj.虔诚的；道貌岸然的 | |
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scanty
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| adj.缺乏的，仅有的，节省的，狭小的，不够的 | |
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jaded
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| adj.精疲力竭的；厌倦的；（因过饱或过多而）腻烦的；迟钝的 | |
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caresses
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| 爱抚，抚摸( caress的名词复数 ) | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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43
ware
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| n.(常用复数)商品，货物 | |
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tally
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| n.计数器，记分，一致，测量；vt.计算，记录，使一致；vi.计算，记分，一致 | |
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dingy
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| adj.昏暗的，肮脏的 | |
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broker
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| n.中间人，经纪人；v.作为中间人来安排 | |
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enjoined
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| v.命令( enjoin的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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enjoin
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| v.命令；吩咐；禁止 | |
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confiding
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| adj.相信人的，易于相信的v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的现在分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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scripture
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| n.经文，圣书，手稿；Scripture:(常用复数)《圣经》，《圣经》中的一段 | |
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51
exalted
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| adj.(地位等)高的，崇高的；尊贵的，高尚的 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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incurred
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| [医]招致的，遭受的； incur的过去式 | |
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heroism
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| n.大无畏精神，英勇 | |
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tilt
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| v.(使)倾侧；(使)倾斜；n.倾侧；倾斜 | |
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poultry
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| n.家禽，禽肉 | |
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obstruct
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| v.阻隔，阻塞(道路、通道等)；n.阻碍物，障碍物 | |
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adversary
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| adj.敌手，对手 | |
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mischievous
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| adj.调皮的，恶作剧的，有害的，伤人的 | |
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baker
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| n.面包师 | |
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sergeant
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| n.警官，中士 | |
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molesting
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| v.骚扰( molest的现在分词 )；干扰；调戏；猥亵 | |
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touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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rippling
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| 起涟漪的，潺潺流水般声音的 | |
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brook
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| n.小河，溪；v.忍受，容让 | |
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rustling
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| n. 瑟瑟声，沙沙声 adj. 发沙沙声的 | |
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conspiring
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| 密谋( conspire的现在分词 )； 搞阴谋； （事件等）巧合； 共同导致 | |
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shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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lurks
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| n.潜在，潜伏；（lurk的复数形式）vi.潜伏，埋伏（lurk的第三人称单数形式） | |
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bawled
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| v.大叫，大喊( bawl的过去式和过去分词 )；放声大哭；大声叫出；叫卖（货物） | |
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lurking
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| 潜在 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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braced
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| adj.拉牢的v.支住( brace的过去式和过去分词 )；撑牢；使自己站稳；振作起来 | |
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ascended
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| v.上升，攀登( ascend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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scrupulous
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| adj.审慎的，小心翼翼的，完全的，纯粹的 | |
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78
tavern
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| n.小旅馆，客栈；小酒店 | |
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79
retrace
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| v.折回；追溯，探源 | |
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80
descried
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| adj.被注意到的，被发现的，被看到的 | |
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81
retracing
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| v.折回( retrace的现在分词 )；回忆；回顾；追溯 | |
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82
regained
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| 复得( regain的过去式和过去分词 )； 赢回； 重回； 复至某地 | |
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83
miscreant
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| n.恶棍 | |
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