WHEN it was high noon, the usually quiet town of Buzabub was suddenly thrown into a state of great commotion1. Horns were sounded, reeds blown, and bells jingled2. In fine, so many and various were the ways in which homage3 was paid to the departure of the "great ambassador," that it would be impossible to enumerate5 them in this history.
A messenger now entered the priest's house to announce the readiness of the train; and as his reverence6 had prepared his saddle-bags and umbrella, and laid in a good stock of provisions, he led the way into the street, followed by the general and his secretary. Here they found the renegades, both clad in loose robes, already mounted on their mules7, which displeased9 the good father, for he was a man of courtesy, and knew what was due to rank. After some debate as to the position old Battle should take, it was agreed that he follow next the palanquin, and be led by a native; and this so delighted the general, that he promised to remember it all the rest of his life. He then took his seat, satisfied with himself and all the rest of mankind. And the priest having mounted his ass4, and Mr. Tickler his mule8, this wonderful train of cattle, so remarkably10 mounted, set off under a burning sun, the general in the van, and the priest bringing up the rear, with his broad umbrella spread. As for the provision bearers, they shouldered their packs, and were followed by a tumultuous throng11, sounding horns and cheering until they had reached some distance beyond the town.
For seven days they journeyed in this pleasant manner, resting to take refreshments12 three times a day, pitching their tents at night beneath palm trees, or in mango groves14, interspersing15 mass and prayers with various amusements for the diversion of the general and the priest, who was a good lover of jokes, and indeed had no very high opinion of those of his order who go about with doleful countenances16. And when they were halted, the general got of the priest much concerning the differences existing between his order and the renegades, between whom a deadly fued existed, both struggling for an ascendancy17 in the government. Tickler also found excellent companions in the renegades, with whom he discussed matters of ancestry18 and books, of which both professed19 to know much, though truely they were ignorant men, and as great knaves20 as ever left their own country to pester21 the authorities of another. They were also curious to learn of Tickler what had brought his master to Kalorama; but on that score he was as ignorant as themselves, though of his master's influence at home he assured them no man had more. He also gave them a wonderful account of his many achievements in war.
Thus they journeyed, the simple-minded inhabitants of each village through which they passed welcoming them with salutations of joy, paying great reverence to the priest and his ass, and regaling them with fruits and such other refreshments as their humble22 plantations23 afforded.
Starting early on the morning of the eighth day, they had proceeded some four miles up a gradually inclining slope, when the City of Nezub appeared in sight, on the brow of a hill, almost buried in a grove13 of palms, and surrounded by picturesque24 scenery, over which the clear atmosphere threw a charm not easily described. Clumps25 of mango, palm, and olive trees gave a beautiful contrast to the softer herbage on the slopes; while the earth seemed teeming26 with the richest flowers, impregnating the air with their sweet odors.
When they were within a mile of the city, numerous shabby-looking dignitaries, and a great concourse of half-naked people, came out to meet them, and amidst music and rejoicing accompanied them to the city, and indeed, seemed anxious to carry the priest and his ass on their shoulders, though they were inclined to make derision of old Battle's shabby appearance. And now, when the bearers had carried the general to a little cottage, provided for him at the expense of the king, and he was safely lodged27 in his quarters, the good priest took leave of him with a prayer for his soul, and went to his home feeling that he had rendered all the service required of him. "Upon my soul," said the general, when the priest was gone, "but they would not make all this ceremony if they knew the drift of my mind. Take notice, Tickler, that they have here a fine country, which is so scurvily28 governed, that to my mind there would be no harm in taking it away from them."
"Your excellency knows best about that," replied Mr. Tickler, "but the devil take me if I want to share the hanging you might get in playing at that game. Please run your eye over the instructions, and see what they say on that head."
"I see, friend Tickler, that you are not skilled in these matters, for you cannot tell what is in the egg until you break it. And as it is customary with the best of our ministers to look over instead of into their instructions, you will not find me behind any of them, for I intend to astonish with the audacity29 of my undertakings30. Mark that well. And if you have not courage to join me in these things, why, the quicker you get home the better, for I hold that a man of your metal is always best off where his gallantry and such other graces as heaven has blessed him with will attract most adorers."
"Faith of my mother! but your excellency talks queerly. I have not a dollar in my pocket, and you bid me get home over a road lined with robbers" interrupted Mr. Tickler. "Now that I am here, and owe a service to the country of my adoption31, it shall not be said that I left your excellency, who will see my courage come out when he affords me an opportunity." They now spent three days in close consultation32 on the precise language necessary in addressing the king at the first audience, which he had signified his readiness, to grant on the morning of the fourth day. The general insisted that it be interpersed with so much latin as to confuse both the king and the interpreter, though both were profound scholars. "I have rare skill in mixing latin, as your excellency knows but you grind it up so in the delivery that neither the king nor the devil can understand a word of it. And as your English is good enough for the best of them, I would advise you to stick to it, since no great military man ever gained anything by dabbling33 in classics." This so touched the chord on which all the general's weaknesses hung that he went right into a rapsody of delight. "I begin to be of your way of thinking, friend Tickler," said he, tossing his head approvingly. "I have speeches enough in my head, and am resolved to make the first that comes to my tongues end."
And now, when the morning on which they were to have an audience with the king was come, the general arrayed himself in his best uniform, not forgetting his three cornered hat and white gloves; and mounting old Battle as Mr. Tickler mounted his mule, they proceeded to the king's palace, a rude building of palm logs, situated35 in a pretty square, and surrounded by shade trees and clustering vines. Here they were received with the blowing of horns and jingling36 of bells; which continued to keep up a deafening37 sound while they were being conducted into the presence of his majesty38, who wore a bright red cloak, and a hat quite resembling that of a Beadle. In complexion39 his majesty was a shade darker than ebony, and as to figure, he was as stalwarth a sovereign, though perhaps not as clean a one, as could be found in all the kingdoms round about: in short, if his majesty was none of the cleanest, he at least wore a contented41 air, which is rare with kings. And as he sat on his throne of ingeniously woven palm-leaves, he seemed more intent on viewing his pipes and holding a parley42 with various priests than listening to the address of the famous representative. Indeed I very much doubt if a wiser king ever lived, for he evinced a happy indifference43 for anything but his own comfort. A fellow of ponderous44 belly45 and face, calling himself Don Perez Goneti, but whose real name was Peletiah Anseeth, a renegade, and as arrant46 a rascal47 as ever left Georgia to save his neck, now came forward, and addressing the general, informed him that he was the king's keeper, and lawgiver to the nation. This announcement surprised the general, for the man was dressed in a yellow tunic48, with blue tights, and a red ruffle49 about his neck. In fine, it must be confessed that this Don Perez Goneti bore a much stronger resemblance to an escaped convict, or a street juggler50, than to a great lawgiver. A consultation now took place between this great lawgiver and the general, as to whether the speech of the latter would be acceptable to his majesty. "For," said the lawgiver, "his majesty is no fool." "And if he takes me for one, it will not be wise of him!" replied the general. The lawgiver now presented the general, with uncommon51 ceremony. And although the king bowed, it was evident he regarded the plenipotentiary with inward suspicion, and would have thanked heaven to be rid of both him and his secretary. The general tugged52 up his breeches, and with an air of self-complacency truly admirable, spoke53 as follows, the lawgiver acting54 as interpreter. "May it please your majesty, to whose gracious consideration I commend myself, I am general Roger Sherman Potter, of whom I make no doubt your majesty has heard enough said. And this gentleman (here he turned to Mr. Tickler) is my secretary, perhaps not so well known, but, nevertheless, a man of reputation."
The king yawned and inquired of his minister what the queer looking man said.
"He says your majesty is a great potentate55, which is true enough. But he requests that you acknowlege him the greatest living ambassador! Honestly, your majesty, he has great skill as a jester, which I take it is why he was sent here."
"Let him proceed, for if he be a fool, what he says touching56 our greatness may be turned to profit. Let him proceed, that he prove the wisdom of his government in sending him." The lawgiver now bid the general proceed.
"Here are my credentials," resumed the general, "and if your majesty will run his eye over them, he will see that the president of the United States accredits57 me minister extraordinary to your majesty's court. That being a proof of his good will, he hopes you will return it with similar testimony58. Of the good nature of our president no man can say a word but in praise; and I can swear he entertains a high opinion of your royal person, is earnestly desirous of preserving peace between us, and resolved to respect that comity59 which should rule among nations so distinguished60, and without which neither of us can get along, seeing that we have so many sympathies in common. As for myself, all I have to say is that your majesty will find my conduct so squared as to be acceptable in your eyes, for Heaven is with the peacemakers." Here the general paused as Don Perez Goneti proceeded to the interpretation61.
"The man talks so strangely, that may the priests hang me if I know what to make of it. But this I do know: he says many things that would not be pleasing to your majesty's refined ears; such for instance, as that your majesty governs so badly, and has so little knowledge for turning the vast resources of his country to advantage, that the president of the United States seriously contemplates62 taking the matter in hand, for he knows it would be acceptable to the saints as well as your ill-governed people." At this, his sable63 majesty went right into a passion and so conducted himself, ordering the queer strangers, as he called them, taken into the plaza64 and hanged, without further ceremony, that General Potter and Mr. Tickler (neither of whom could understand a word he said) set him down for a madman, inquired of the lawgiver what it all meant, and began to have fears for their safety. Indeed the state of confusion that reigned65 in the audience chamber66 came well-nigh putting an end to this remarkable67 mission. "Pray Mr. Lawgiver, what is the matter with the king, for he acts like a man who has lost his understanding?" inquired the general.
"It is only a freak of his; and if you would have the truth of it, I can tell you, that he is berating68 these vagabond priests, who give him no peace of his life." Don Perez Goneti then turned to the king, and said: "If your majesty will but listen another minute, he may hear something more pleasing, for the ambassador says he has something good in store."
"Let him proceed then," replied the king, "and if he redeem69 himself, the hanging shall be spared." The general resumed, while Mr. Tickler trembled in his boots.
"It is come to the president's knowledge, that your majesty is in possession of several valuable Islands, which in their present condition yield no revenue. Therefore he has directed me to say that he will relieve you of them, and turn their fruits to such uses as Heaven ordained70 they should fulfill71. And I can tell your majesty that the president has a remarkable taste for Islands, and so long as he can get them, cares not a whit34 for the means!"
"May it please your majesty, this great ambassador has a most fertile imagination, to which he adds a supple72 tongue. He says the evils of your reign40 are the natural results of the mischievous73 interference on the part of the priests; and that the President of the United States, having resolved that this state of things shall no longer exist, has instructed him to seize upon all your Islands, and turn their fruits to such uses as Heaven has ordained." This so exasperated74 the king, that he swore, in the language of his country, that he verily believed the persons before him vagabonds sent by the devil to disturb the peace of his country. Nor indeed were the priests backward in stirring the mischief75, for they whispered among themselves that he ought to be well hanged for the slur76 flung at their order. "Take these men away!" exclaimed the king in the height of his passion, which he was saved from further betraying by the uplifted hand of the priests; "and tomorrow morning at parrot-wink let them be well hanged in the plaza." The king and the priests now retired77 in great confusion, which so astounded78 General Potter and his secretary that they must needs inquire what it all meant, for their difference of tongues left a gloomy void between them. And when it was explained by the lawgiver, at whose mercy they were, they looked one at the other in consternation79, and were led away perplexed80 and full of sorrow.
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1
commotion
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| n.骚动，动乱 | |
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jingled
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| 喝醉的 | |
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homage
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| n.尊敬，敬意，崇敬 | |
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ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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enumerate
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| v.列举，计算，枚举，数 | |
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reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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mules
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| 骡( mule的名词复数 )； 拖鞋； 顽固的人； 越境运毒者 | |
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mule
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| n.骡子，杂种，执拗的人 | |
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displeased
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| a.不快的 | |
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10
remarkably
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| ad.不同寻常地，相当地 | |
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throng
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| n.人群，群众；v.拥挤，群集 | |
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12
refreshments
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| n.点心,便餐;(会议后的)简单茶点招 待 | |
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grove
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| n.林子，小树林，园林 | |
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groves
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| 树丛，小树林( grove的名词复数 ) | |
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interspersing
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| v.散布，散置( intersperse的现在分词 )；点缀 | |
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countenances
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| n.面容( countenance的名词复数 )；表情；镇静；道义支持 | |
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ascendancy
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| n.统治权，支配力量 | |
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ancestry
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| n.祖先，家世 | |
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professed
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| 公开声称的，伪称的，已立誓信教的 | |
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knaves
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| n.恶棍，无赖( knave的名词复数 )；（纸牌中的）杰克 | |
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pester
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| v.纠缠，强求 | |
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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plantations
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| n.种植园，大农场( plantation的名词复数 ) | |
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picturesque
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| adj.美丽如画的，（语言）生动的，绘声绘色的 | |
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clumps
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| n.（树、灌木、植物等的）丛、簇( clump的名词复数 )；（土、泥等）团；块；笨重的脚步声v.（树、灌木、植物等的）丛、簇( clump的第三人称单数 )；（土、泥等）团；块；笨重的脚步声 | |
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26
teeming
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| adj.丰富的v.充满( teem的现在分词 )；到处都是；（指水、雨等）暴降；倾注 | |
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27
lodged
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| v.存放( lodge的过去式和过去分词 )；暂住；埋入；（权利、权威等）归属 | |
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scurvily
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| 下流地，粗鄙地，无礼地 | |
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audacity
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| n.大胆，卤莽，无礼 | |
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undertakings
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| 企业( undertaking的名词复数 )； 保证； 殡仪业； 任务 | |
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adoption
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| n.采用，采纳，通过；收养 | |
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consultation
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| n.咨询；商量；商议；会议 | |
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dabbling
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| v.涉猎( dabble的现在分词 )；涉足；浅尝；少量投资 | |
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34
whit
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| n.一点，丝毫 | |
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situated
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| adj.坐落在...的，处于某种境地的 | |
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jingling
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| 叮当声 | |
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deafening
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| adj. 振耳欲聋的, 极喧闹的 动词deafen的现在分词形式 | |
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majesty
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| n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权 | |
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complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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reign
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| n.统治时期，统治，支配，盛行；v.占优势 | |
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contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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parley
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| n.谈判 | |
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43
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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ponderous
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| adj.沉重的，笨重的，(文章)冗长的 | |
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belly
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| n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分，膛 | |
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arrant
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| adj.极端的；最大的 | |
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rascal
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| n.流氓；不诚实的人 | |
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tunic
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| n.束腰外衣 | |
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49
ruffle
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| v.弄皱，弄乱；激怒，扰乱；n.褶裥饰边 | |
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50
juggler
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| n. 变戏法者, 行骗者 | |
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51
uncommon
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| adj.罕见的，非凡的，不平常的 | |
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52
tugged
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| v.用力拉，使劲拉，猛扯( tug的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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53
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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potentate
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| n.统治者；君主 | |
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56
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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accredits
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| v.相信( accredit的第三人称单数 )；委托；委任；把…归结于 | |
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58
testimony
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| n.证词；见证，证明 | |
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59
comity
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| n.礼让，礼仪；团结，联合 | |
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60
distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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interpretation
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| n.解释，说明，描述；艺术处理 | |
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contemplates
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| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的第三人称单数 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
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sable
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| n.黑貂；adj.黑色的 | |
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plaza
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| n.广场，市场 | |
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reigned
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| vi.当政，统治（reign的过去式形式） | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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68
berating
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| v.严厉责备，痛斥( berate的现在分词 ) | |
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69
redeem
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| v.买回，赎回，挽回，恢复，履行（诺言等） | |
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ordained
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| v.任命（某人）为牧师( ordain的过去式和过去分词 )；授予（某人）圣职；（上帝、法律等）命令；判定 | |
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71
fulfill
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| vt.履行，实现，完成；满足，使满意 | |
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72
supple
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| adj.柔软的，易弯的，逢迎的，顺从的，灵活的；vt.使柔软，使柔顺，使顺从；vi.变柔软，变柔顺 | |
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73
mischievous
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| adj.调皮的，恶作剧的，有害的，伤人的 | |
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exasperated
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| adj.恼怒的 | |
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75
mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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slur
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| v.含糊地说；诋毁；连唱；n.诋毁；含糊的发音 | |
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77
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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78
astounded
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| v.使震惊(astound的过去式和过去分词)；愕然；愕；惊讶 | |
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79
consternation
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| n.大为吃惊，惊骇 | |
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80
perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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