WHEN it was night, and not a beetle1 was heard, and the guards found great difficulty in keeping awake, Don Perez Goneti came to the house of General Potter, disguised in the robe of a priest. He found the general engaged over dispatches to his government, and letters to his wife Polly; in both of which he set forth2 in sad and pitiful sentences, "the dire3 fate" that awaited him. As for Mr. Tickler, he had not an ounce of courage left, but was nevertheless writing articles for the seven New York newspapers, of which he was correspondent. According to Tickler, as set forth in these grave articles, no greater outrage4 had ever been committed upon the unoffending representatives of the United States, and for which he demanded summary vengeance5. "Gentlemen! said the intruder, discovering himself, "I am Don Perez Goneti, the lawgiver! Fear not, for I come to cheer you. This king, you must know, is a great knave6, and so under the thumb of the priests that an honest man like myself is not safe a day in his office. Having long meditated7 his overthrow8, I come to offer you the hand of friendship in your distress9, and to say that if you will join me in carrying out my design (I have a strong party at my command), we will teach this king what it is to be a subject. By the saints, he has no good will toward your country, as you have seen."
"What you propose is exactly to my liking10, for I must tell you that the very same thing has occupied my thoughts; but since I am to be hanged in the morning, why there's an end to all." Don Perez smiled, and assured the general there would be no hanging, since the king was a great coward, and feared the penalty of such an act. "Honestly, your excellency, he has already revoked11 the sentence, and substituted a novel but very harmless punishment, which when you have endured, he will order you out of the country." This cheering news sent a thrill of joy to Tickler's very heart, for he had been mourning his fate, dissolved in tears; declaring at the same time that dying in the service of ones country was not so desirable a business. Don Perez and the general now held a long consultation12, and having sworn mutual13 hatred14 of the king and priests, agreed to join forces and seek his speedy overthrow. Don Perez also took charge of their letters and dispatches, which he promised to forward to Jollifee, a town on the coast, between which certain conspirators15 kept up a communication with New York.
Having restored the general and his secretary to a state of happiness, Don Perez took his departure, when they went quietly to bed, giving themselves no more trouble about the hanging, and entertaining only a slight misgiving16 as to the nature of the punishment substituted. But of this they were made conscious when morning came. And here I venture to assert that not even the most famous inventor of prison discipline for once dreamed of so curious a mode of punishment as that I am about to describe, and which I seriously recommend as a cure that may be profitably applied18 to vagrants19, idle politicians, and all such persons as live by destroying the peace of the community.
When breakfast was over, three solemn-faced priests, followed by two attendants, entered General Roger Potter's apartment, to the no small discomfiture20 of Mr. Tickler, to whose mind all the horrors of hanging suddenly returned. "Gentlemen," spoke21 one of the priests, "we are come to prepare your souls for the punishment which it has pleased our royal master to order." "Pray, your reverence22, your royal master had better be mindful lest this punishment cost him his crown. But as you are humane23 gentlemen, be good enough to enlighten us as to what sort of punishment his Majesty24 has substituted for the hanging?" inquired the now undaunted general.
"It is enjoined25 that we hold our peace," replied the priest; "but of the punishment you will know quick enough." And now, when the priests had prayed devoutly26 for the souls of the culprits, they accompanied them to a building bearing a strong resemblance to a Vermont corn-shed, where two attendants, having first stripped "the Ambassador" and his secretary to their shirts, chained them back to back, and in this pitiful plight27 compelled them to sit on a huge block of ice, until it was dissolved. And when this punishment was inflicted28, it was ordered by the king that they be conveyed beyond the limits of the state. "I know not what you think of this punishment, friend Tickler," said the general, evincing much discomfiture as he took his seat "but to my mind, this being condemned29 to sit on a block of ice until it dissolves, in nowise becomes my military position, to say nothing of my standing30 as a minister."
"Faith, your excellency, I begin to think we have both been well fooled, for the smart of this ingenious punishment is more than I have mettle31 to endure." Tickler had scarce uttered this sentence when he began to scream at the very top of his voice; and to declare the pain so acute that he would much prefer the hanging.
"I am fast coming to your way of thinking, friend Tickler," replied the general, as the priests began offering them consolation32, "for every bone from the top of my head to the soul of my feet begins yielding to the pain, which feels as if ten thousand needles were shooting through me."
"Heavens!" exclaimed Tickler, "if your reverences33 will only relieve us from these torments34, you may commend our souls to whom you please, for I have no ambition but to get home. If his excellency wants to die a great martyr35, I have no objection!" Here Mr. Tickler relapsed into a state of melancholy36, and gave vent17 to his feelings in a flood of tears. But the priests only looked grave, and would have offered them absolution without a change of countenance37. "Bear up, bear up, friend;" rejoined general Potter, "and keep in mind that you suffer for your country's sake. It will soon be over, for the ice melts fast. And if you write not of this outrage, so that it shall fire every heart at home for revenge, then I am much mistaken in your capacity as a critic." Thus bitterly they lamented38 their fate, until the severity of the pain had well nigh exhausted39 their strength, and left them in a condition which will be described in the next chapter.
1 beetle | |
n.甲虫,近视眼的人 | |
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2 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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3 dire | |
adj.可怕的,悲惨的,阴惨的,极端的 | |
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4 outrage | |
n.暴行,侮辱,愤怒;vt.凌辱,激怒 | |
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5 vengeance | |
n.报复,报仇,复仇 | |
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6 knave | |
n.流氓;(纸牌中的)杰克 | |
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7 meditated | |
深思,沉思,冥想( meditate的过去式和过去分词 ); 内心策划,考虑 | |
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8 overthrow | |
v.推翻,打倒,颠覆;n.推翻,瓦解,颠覆 | |
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9 distress | |
n.苦恼,痛苦,不舒适;不幸;vt.使悲痛 | |
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10 liking | |
n.爱好;嗜好;喜欢 | |
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11 revoked | |
adj.[法]取消的v.撤销,取消,废除( revoke的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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12 consultation | |
n.咨询;商量;商议;会议 | |
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13 mutual | |
adj.相互的,彼此的;共同的,共有的 | |
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14 hatred | |
n.憎恶,憎恨,仇恨 | |
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15 conspirators | |
n.共谋者,阴谋家( conspirator的名词复数 ) | |
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16 misgiving | |
n.疑虑,担忧,害怕 | |
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17 vent | |
n.通风口,排放口;开衩;vt.表达,发泄 | |
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18 applied | |
adj.应用的;v.应用,适用 | |
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19 vagrants | |
流浪者( vagrant的名词复数 ); 无业游民; 乞丐; 无赖 | |
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20 discomfiture | |
n.崩溃;大败;挫败;困惑 | |
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21 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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22 reverence | |
n.敬畏,尊敬,尊严;Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称;v.尊敬,敬畏,崇敬 | |
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23 humane | |
adj.人道的,富有同情心的 | |
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24 majesty | |
n.雄伟,壮丽,庄严,威严;最高权威,王权 | |
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25 enjoined | |
v.命令( enjoin的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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26 devoutly | |
adv.虔诚地,虔敬地,衷心地 | |
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27 plight | |
n.困境,境况,誓约,艰难;vt.宣誓,保证,约定 | |
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28 inflicted | |
把…强加给,使承受,遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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29 condemned | |
adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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30 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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31 mettle | |
n.勇气,精神 | |
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32 consolation | |
n.安慰,慰问 | |
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33 reverences | |
n.尊敬,崇敬( reverence的名词复数 );敬礼 | |
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34 torments | |
(肉体或精神上的)折磨,痛苦( torment的名词复数 ); 造成痛苦的事物[人] | |
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35 martyr | |
n.烈士,殉难者;vt.杀害,折磨,牺牲 | |
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36 melancholy | |
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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37 countenance | |
n.脸色,面容;面部表情;vt.支持,赞同 | |
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38 lamented | |
adj.被哀悼的,令人遗憾的v.(为…)哀悼,痛哭,悲伤( lament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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39 exhausted | |
adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的 | |
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