Humphrey Goode was sixty-ish, short and chunky, with a fringe of white hair around a bald crown. His brow was corrugated1 with wrinkles, and he peered suspiciously at Rand through a pair of thick-lensed, black-ribboned glasses. His wide mouth curved downward at the corners in an expression that was probably intended to be stern and succeeded only in being pompous2. His office was dark, and smelled of dusty books.
"Mr. Rand," he began accusingly, "when your secretary called to make this appointment, she informed me that you had been retained by Mrs. Gladys Fleming."
"That's correct." Rand slowly packed tobacco into his pipe and lit it. "Mrs. Fleming wants me to look after some interests of hers, and as you're executor of her late husband's estate, I thought I ought to talk to you, first of all."
Goode's eyes narrowed behind the thick glasses.
"Mr. Rand, if you're investigating the death of Lane Fleming, you're wasting your time and Mrs. Fleming's money," he lectured. "There is nothing whatever for you to find out that is not already public knowledge. Mr. Fleming was accidentally killed by the discharge of an old revolver he was cleaning. I don't know what foolish feminine impulse led Mrs. Fleming to employ you, but you'll do nobody any good in this matter, and you may do a great deal of harm."
"Did my secretary tell you I was making an investigation3?" Rand demanded incredulously. "She doesn't usually make mistakes of that sort."
The wrinkles moved up Goode's brow like a battalion4 advancing in platoon front. He looked even more narrowly at Rand, his suspicion compounded with bewilderment.
"Why should I investigate the death of Lane Fleming?" Rand continued. "As far as I know, Mrs. Fleming is satisfied that it was an accident. She never expressed any other belief to me. Do you think it was anything else?"
"Why, of course not!" Goode exclaimed. "That's just what I was telling you. I—" He took a fresh start. "There have been rumors5—utterly without foundation, of course—that Mr. Fleming committed suicide. They are, I may say, nothing but malicious6 fabrications, circulated for the purpose of undermining public confidence in Premix Foods, Incorporated. I had thought that perhaps Mrs. Fleming might have heard them, and decided7, on her own responsibility, to bring you in to scotch8 them; I was afraid that such a step might, by giving these rumors fresh currency, defeat its intended purpose."
"Oh, nothing of the sort!" Rand told him. "I'm not in the least interested in how Mr. Fleming was killed, and the question is simply not involved in what Mrs. Fleming wants me to do."
He stopped there. Goode was looking at him sideways, sucking in one corner of his mouth and pushing out the other. It was not a facial contortion9 that impressed Rand favorably; it was too reminiscent of a high-school principal under whom he had suffered, years ago, in Vicksburg, Mississippi. Rand began to suspect that Goode might be just another such self-righteous, opinionated, egotistical windbag10. Such men could be dangerous, were usually quite unscrupulous, and were almost always unpleasant to deal with.
"Then why," the lawyer demanded, "did Mrs. Fleming employ you?"
"Well, as you know," Rand began, "the Fleming pistol-collection, now the joint11 property of Mrs. Fleming and her two stepdaughters, is an extremely valuable asset. Mr. Fleming spent the better part of his life gathering12 it. At one time or another, he must have owned between four and five thousand different pistols and revolvers. The twenty-five hundred left to his heirs represent the result of a systematic13 policy of discriminating14 purchase, replacement15 of inferior items, and general improvement. It's one of the largest and most famous collections of its kind in the country."
"Well?" Goode was completely out of his depth by now. "Surely Mrs. Fleming doesn't think...?"
"Mrs. Fleming thinks that expert advice is urgently needed in disposing of that collection," Rand replied, carefully picking his words to fit what he estimated to be Goode's probable semantic reactions. "She has the utmost confidence in your ability and integrity, as an attorney; however, she realized that you could hardly describe yourself as an antique-arms expert. It happens that I am an expert in antique firearms, particularly pistols. I have a collection of my own, I am the author of a number of articles on the subject, and I am recognized as something of an authority. I know arms-values, and understand market conditions. Furthermore, not being a dealer16, or connected with any museum, I have no mercenary motive17 for undervaluing the collection. That's all there is to it; Mrs. Fleming has retained me as a firearms-expert, in connection with the collection."
Goode was looking at Rand as though the latter had just torn off a mask, revealing another and entirely18 different set of features underneath19. The change seemed to be a welcome one, but he was evidently having trouble adjusting to it. Rand grinned inwardly; now he was going to have to find himself a new set of verbal labels and identifications.
"Well, Mr. Rand, that alters the situation considerably," he said, with noticeably less hostility20. He was still a bit resentful; people had no right to confuse him by jumping about from one category to another, like that. "Now understand, I'm not trying to be offensive, but it seems a little unusual for a private detective also to be an authority on antique firearms."
"Mr. Fleming was an authority on antique firearms, and he was a manufacturer of foodstuffs," Rand parried, carefully staying inside Goode's Aristotelian system of categories and verbal identifications. "My own business does not occupy all my time, any more than his did, and I doubt if an interest in the history and development of deadly weapons is any more incongruous in a criminologist than in an industrialist21. But if there's any doubt in your mind as to my qualifications, you can check with Colonel Taylor, at the State Museum, or with the editor of the American Rifleman."
"I see." Goode nodded. "And as you point out, being a sort of non-professional expert, you should be free from mercenary bias22." He nodded again, taking off his glasses and polishing them on an outsize white handkerchief. "Frankly23, now that I understand your purpose, Mr. Rand, I must say that I am quite glad that Mrs. Fleming took this step. I was perplexed24 about how to deal with that collection. I realized that it was worth a great deal of money, but I haven't the vaguest idea how much, or how it could be sold to the best advantage.... At a rough guess, Mr. Rand, how much do you think it ought to bring?"
Rand shook his head. "I only saw it twice, the last time two years ago. Ask me that after I've spent a day or so going over it, and I'll be able to give you an estimate. I will say this, though: It's probably worth a lot more than the ten thousand dollars Arnold Rivers has offered for it."
That produced an unexpected effect. Goode straightened in his chair, gobbling in surprised indignation.
"Arnold Rivers? Has he had the impudence25 to try to buy the collection?" he demanded. "Where did you hear that?"
"From Mrs. Fleming. I understand he made the offer to Fred Dunmore. That's his business, isn't it?"
"I believe the colloquial26 term is 'racket,'" Goode said. "Why, that man is a notorious swindler! Mr. Rand, do you know that only a week before his death, Mr. Fleming instructed me to bring suit against him, and also to secure his indictment27 on criminal charges of fraud?"
"I didn't know that, but I'm not surprised," Rand answered. "What did he burn Fleming with?"
"Here; I'll show you." Goode rose from his seat and went to a rank of steel filing-cabinets behind the desk. In a moment, he was back, with a large manila envelope under his arm, and a huge pistol in either hand. "Here, Mr. Rand," he chuckled29. "We'll just test your firearms knowledge. What do you make of these?"
Rand took the pistols and looked at them. They were wheel locks, apparently30 sixteenth-century South German; they were a good two feet in over-all length, with ball-pommels the size of oranges, and long steel belt-hooks. The stocks were so covered with ivory inlay that the wood showed only in tiny interstices; the metal-work was lavishly31 engraved32 and gold-inlaid. To the trigger-guards were attached tags marked Fleming vs. Rivers.
Rand examined each pistol separately, then compared them. Finally, he took a six-inch rule from his pocket and made measurements, first with one edge and then with the other.
"Well, I'm damned," he said, laying them on the desk. "These things are the most complete fakes I ever saw—locks, stocks, barrels and mountings. They're supposed to be late sixteenth-century; I doubt if they were made before 1920. As far as I can see or measure, there isn't the slightest difference between them, except on some of the decorative33 inlay. The whole job must have been miked in ten-thousandths, and what's more, whoever made them used metric measurements. You'll find pairs of English dueling34 pistols as early as 1775 that are almost indistinguishable, but in 1575, when these things were supposed to have been made, a gunsmith was working fine when he was working in sixteenth-inches. They just didn't have the measuring instruments, at that time, to do closer work. I won't bother taking these things apart, but if I did, I'd bet all Wall Street to Junior's piggy-bank that I'd find that the screws were machine-threaded and the working-parts interchanged. I've heard about fakes like these,"—he named a famous, recently liquidated35 West Coast collection—"but I'd never hoped to see an example like this."
Goode gave a hacking36 chuckle28. "You'll do as an arms-expert, Mr. Rand," he said. "And you'd win the piggy-bank. It seems that after Mr. Fleming bought them, he took them apart, and found, just as you say, that the screw-threads had been machine-cut, and that the working-parts were interchangeable from one pistol to the other. There were a lot of papers accompanying them—I have them here—purporting to show that they had been sold by some Austrian nobleman, an anti-Nazi refugee, in whose family they had been since the reign37 of Maximilian II. They are, of course, fabrications. I looked up the family in the Almanach de Gotha; it simply never existed. At first, Mr. Fleming had been inclined to take the view that Rivers had been equally victimized with himself. However, when Rivers refused to take back the pistols and refund38 the purchase price, he altered his opinion. He placed them in my hands, instructing me to bring suit and also start criminal action; he was in a fearful rage about it, and swore that he'd drive Rivers out of business. However, before I could start action, Mr. Fleming was killed in that accident, and as he was the sole witness to the fact of the sale, and as none of the heirs was interested, I did nothing about it. In fact, I advised them that action against Rivers would cost the estate more than they could hope to recover in damages." He picked up one of the pistols and examined it. "Now, I don't know what to do about these."
"Take them home and hang them over the mantel," Rand advised. "If I'm going to have anything to do with selling the collection, I don't want anything to do with them."
Goode was peering at the ivory inlay on the underbelly of the stock.
"They are beautiful, and I don't care when they were made," he said. "I think, if nobody else wants them, I'll do just that.... Now, Mr. Rand, what had you intended doing about the collection?"
"Well, that's what I came to see you about, Mr. Goode. As I understand it, it is you who are officially responsible for selling the collection, and the proceeds would be turned over to you for distribution to Mrs. Fleming, Mrs. Dunmore and Mrs. Varcek. Is that correct?"
"Yes. The collection, although in the physical possession of Mrs. Fleming, is still an undistributed asset."
"I thought so." Rand got out Gladys Fleming's letter of authorization39 and handed it to Goode. "As you'll see by that, I was retained by, and only by, Mrs. Fleming," he said. "I am assuming that her interests are identical with those of the other heirs, but I realize that this is true only to a very limited extent. It's my understanding that relations between the three ladies are not the most pleasant."
Goode produced a short, croaking40 laugh. "Now there's a cautious understatement," he commented. "Mr. Rand, I feel that you should know that all three hate each other poisonously."
"That was rather my impression. Now, I expect some trouble, from Mrs. Dunmore and/or Mrs. Varcek, either or both of whom are sure to accuse me of having been brought into this by Mrs. Fleming to help her defraud41 the others. That, of course, is not the case; they will all profit equally by my participation42 in this. But I'm going to have trouble convincing them of that."
"Yes. You will," Goode agreed. "Would you rather carry my authorization than Mrs. Fleming's?"
"Yes, indeed, Mr. Goode. To tell the truth, that was why I came here, for one reason. You will not be obligated in any way by authorizing43 me to act as your agent—I'm getting my fee from Mrs. Fleming—but I would be obligated to represent her only as far as her interests did not improperly44 conflict with those of the other heirs, and that's what I want made clear."
Goode favored the detective with a saurian smile. "You're not a lawyer, too, Mr. Rand?" he asked.
"Well, I am a member of the Bar in the State of Mississippi, though I never practiced," Rand admitted. "Instead of opening a law-office, I went into the F.B.I., in 1935, and then opened a private agency a couple of years later. But if I had to, which God forbid, I could go home tomorrow and hang out my shingle45."
"You seem to have had quite an eventful career," Goode remarked, with a queer combination of envy and disapproval46. "I understand that, until recently, you were an officer in the Army Intelligence, too.... I'll have your authorization to act for me made out immediately; to list and appraise47 the collection, and to negotiate with prospective48 purchasers. And by the way," he continued, "did I understand you to say that you had heard some of these silly rumors to the effect that Lane Fleming had committed suicide?"
"Oh, that's what's always heard, under the circumstances," Rand shrugged49. "A certain type of sensation-loving mind..."
"Mr. Rand, there is not one scintilla50 of truth in any of these scurrilous51 stories!" Goode declared, pumping up a fine show of indignation. "The Premix Company is in the best possible financial condition; a glance at its books, or at its last financial statement, would show that. I ought to know, I'm chairman of the board of directors. Just because there was some talk of retrenchment52, shortly before Mr. Fleming's death ..."
"Oh, no responsible person pays any attention to that sort of talk," Rand comforted him. "My armed-guard and armored-car service brings me into contact with a lot of the local financial crowd. None of them is taking these rumors seriously."
"Well, of course, nobody wants the responsibility of starting a panic, even a minor53 one, but people are talking, and it's hurting Premix on the market," Goode gloomed. "And now, people will hear of Mrs. Fleming's having retained you, and will assume, just as I did at first, that you are making some kind of an investigation. I hope you will make a prompt denial, if you hear any talk like that." He pressed a button on his desk. "And now, I'll get a letter of authorization made out for you, Mr. Rand ..."
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1
corrugated
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| adj.波纹的；缩成皱纹的；波纹面的；波纹状的v.（使某物）起皱褶(corrugate的过去式和过去分词) | |
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2
pompous
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| adj.傲慢的，自大的；夸大的；豪华的 | |
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3
investigation
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| n.调查，调查研究 | |
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battalion
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| n.营；部队；大队(的人) | |
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rumors
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| n.传闻( rumor的名词复数 )；[古]名誉；咕哝；[古]喧嚷v.传闻( rumor的第三人称单数 )；[古]名誉；咕哝；[古]喧嚷 | |
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6
malicious
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| adj.有恶意的，心怀恶意的 | |
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7
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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8
scotch
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| n.伤口，刻痕；苏格兰威士忌酒；v.粉碎，消灭，阻止；adj.苏格兰(人)的 | |
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contortion
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| n.扭弯，扭歪，曲解 | |
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10
windbag
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| n.风囊，饶舌之人，好说话的人 | |
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joint
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| adj.联合的，共同的；n.关节，接合处；v.连接，贴合 | |
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12
gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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systematic
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| adj.有系统的，有计划的，有方法的 | |
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14
discriminating
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| a.有辨别能力的 | |
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15
replacement
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| n.取代，替换，交换；替代品，代用品 | |
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dealer
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| n.商人，贩子 | |
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motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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underneath
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| adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面 | |
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hostility
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| n.敌对，敌意；抵制［pl.］交战，战争 | |
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industrialist
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| n.工业家，实业家 | |
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bias
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| n.偏见，偏心，偏袒；vt.使有偏见 | |
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23
frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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24
perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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impudence
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| n.厚颜无耻；冒失；无礼 | |
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26
colloquial
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| adj.口语的，会话的 | |
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indictment
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| n.起诉；诉状 | |
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28
chuckle
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| vi.／n.轻声笑，咯咯笑 | |
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29
chuckled
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| 轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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30
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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31
lavishly
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| adv.慷慨地，大方地 | |
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32
engraved
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| v.在（硬物）上雕刻（字，画等）( engrave的过去式和过去分词 )；将某事物深深印在（记忆或头脑中） | |
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33
decorative
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| adj.装饰的，可作装饰的 | |
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34
dueling
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| n. 决斗, 抗争(=duelling) 动词duel的现在分词形式 | |
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35
liquidated
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| v.清算( liquidate的过去式和过去分词 )；清除（某人）；清偿；变卖 | |
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36
hacking
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| n.非法访问计算机系统和数据库的活动 | |
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37
reign
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| n.统治时期，统治，支配，盛行；v.占优势 | |
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38
refund
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| v.退还，偿还；n.归还，偿还额，退款 | |
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39
authorization
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| n.授权，委任状 | |
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40
croaking
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| v.呱呱地叫( croak的现在分词 )；用粗的声音说 | |
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41
defraud
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| vt.欺骗，欺诈 | |
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42
participation
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| n.参与，参加，分享 | |
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43
authorizing
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| 授权，批准，委托( authorize的现在分词 ) | |
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44
improperly
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| 不正确地，不适当地 | |
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45
shingle
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| n.木瓦板；小招牌(尤指医生或律师挂的营业招牌)；v.用木瓦板盖（屋顶）；把（女子头发）剪短 | |
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46
disapproval
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| n.反对，不赞成 | |
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47
appraise
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| v.估价，评价，鉴定 | |
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48
prospective
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| adj.预期的，未来的，前瞻性的 | |
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49
shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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50
scintilla
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| n.极少，微粒 | |
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51
scurrilous
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| adj.下流的，恶意诽谤的 | |
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52
retrenchment
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| n.节省，删除 | |
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53
minor
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| adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修 | |
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