The foregoing remarks do not express a pose affected2 out of superiority to the usual spirit of the conquering hero, for no man was keener on the war than I, before I went to it. But one can only write with gusto of events (like that little affair at Surbiton) in which one has acquitted3 oneself without discredit4, and I cannot say that of my part in the war, of which I now loathe5 the thought for other reasons. The battlefield was no place for me, and neither was the camp. My ineptitude6 made me the butt7 of the looting, cursing, swash-buckling lot who formed the very irregular squadron which we joined; and it would have gone hard with me but for Raffles, who was soon the darling devil of them all, but never more loyally my friend. Your fireside fire-eater does not think of these things. He imagines all the fighting to be with the enemy. He will probably be horrified8 to hear that men can detest9 each other as cordially in khaki as in any other wear, and with a virulence10 seldom inspired by the bearded dead-shot in the opposite trench11. To the fireside fire-eater, therefore (for you have seen me one myself), I dedicate the story of Corporal Connal, Captain Bellingham, the General, Raffles, and myself.
I must be vague, for obvious reasons. The troop is fighting as I write; you will soon hear why I am not; but neither is Raffles, nor Corporal Connal. They are fighting as well as ever, those other hard-living, harder-dying sons of all soils; but I am not going to say where it was that we fought with them. I believe that no body of men of equal size has done half so much heroic work. But they had got themselves a bad name off the field, so to speak; and I am not going to make it worse by saddling them before the world with Raffles and myself, and that ruffian Connal.
The fellow was a mongrel type, a Glasgow Irishman by birth and upbringing, but he had been in South Africa for years, and he certainly knew the country very well. This circumstance, coupled with the fact that he was a very handy man with horses, as all colonists12 are, had procured13 him the first small step from the ranks which facilitates bullying14 if a man be a bully15 by nature, and is physically16 fitted to be a successful one. Connal was a hulking ruffian, and in me had ideal game. The brute17 was offensive to me from the hour I joined. The details are of no importance, but I stood up to him at first in words, and finally for a few seconds on my feet. Then I went down like an ox, and Raffles came out of his tent. Their fight lasted twenty minutes, and Raffles was marked, but the net result was dreadfully conventional, for the bully was a bully no more.
But I began gradually to suspect that he was something worse. All this time we were fighting every day, or so it seems when I look back. Never a great engagement, and yet never a day when we were wholly out of touch with the enemy. I had thus several opportunities of watching the other enemy under fire, and had almost convinced myself of the systematic18 harmlessness of his own shooting, when a more glaring incident occurred.
One night three troops of our squadron were ordered to a certain point whither they had patrolled the previous week; but our own particular troop was to stay behind, and in charge of no other than the villanous corporal, both our officer and sergeant19 having gone into hospital with enteric. Our detention20, however, was very temporary, and Connal would seem to have received the usual vague orders to proceed in the early morning to the place where the other three companies had camped. It appeared that we were to form an escort to two squadron-wagons containing kits21, provisions, and ammunition22.
Before daylight Connal had reported his departure to the commanding officer, and we passed the outposts at gray dawn. Now, though I was perhaps the least observant person in the troop, I was not the least wideawake where Corporal Connal was concerned, and it struck me at once that we were heading in the wrong direction. My reasons are not material, but as a matter of fact our last week's patrol had pushed its khaki tentacles23 both east and west; and eastward24 they had met with resistance so determined25 as to compel them to retire; yet it was eastward that we were travelling now. I at once spurred alongside Raffles, as he rode, bronzed and bearded, with warworn wide-awake over eyes grown keen as a hawk's, and a cutty-pipe sticking straight out from his front teeth. I can see him now, so gaunt and grim and debonair26, yet already with much of the nonsense gone out of him, though I thought he only smiled on my misgivings27.
"Did he get the instructions, Bunny, or did we? Very well, then; give the devil a chance."
There was nothing further to be said, but I felt more crushed than convinced; so we jogged along into broad daylight, until Raffles himself gave a whistle of surprise.
"A white flag, Bunny, by all my gods!"
I could not see it; he had the longest sight in all our squadron; but in a little the fluttering emblem28, which had gained such a sinister29 significance in most of our eyes, was patent even to mine. A little longer, and the shaggy Boer was in our midst upon his shaggy pony30, with a half-scared, half-incredulous look in his deep-set eyes. He was on his way to our lines with some missive, and had little enough to say to us, though frivolous31 and flippant questions were showered upon him from most saddles.
"Any Boers over there?" asked one, pointing in the direction in which we were still heading.
"Any of our chaps?" added another.
The Boer rode on with an open grin.
And the incredible conclusion of the matter was that we were actually within their lines in another hour; saw them as large as life within a mile and a half on either side of us; and must every man of us have been taken prisoner had not every man but Connal refused to go one inch further, and had not the Boers themselves obviously suspected some subtle ruse34 as the only conceivable explanation of so madcap a manoeuvre35. They allowed us to retire without firing a shot; and retire you may be sure we did, the Kaffirs flogging their teams in a fury of fear, and our precious corporal sullen36 but defiant37.
I have said this was the conclusion of the matter, and I blush to repeat that it practically was. Connal was indeed wheeled up before the colonel, but his instructions were not written instructions, and he lied his way out with equal hardihood and tact38.
"You said 'over there,' sir," he stoutly39 reiterated40; and the vagueness with which such orders were undoubtedly41 given was the saving of him for the time being.
I need not tell you how indignant I felt, for one.
"The fellow is a spy!" I said to Raffles, with no nursery oath, as we strolled within the lines that night.
He merely smiled in my face.
"And have you only just found it out, Bunny? I have known it almost ever since we joined; but this morning I did think we had him on toast."
"It's disgraceful that we had not," cried I. "He ought to have been shot like a dog."
"Not so loud, Bunny, though I quite agree; but I don't regret what has happened as much as you do. Not that I am less bloodthirsty than you are in this case, but a good deal more so! Bunny, I'm mad-keen on bowling42 him out with my own unaided hand—though I may ask you to take the wicket. Meanwhile, don't wear all your animosity upon your sleeve; the fellow has friends who still believe in him; and there is no need for you to be more openly his enemy than you were before."
Well, I can only vow43 that I did my best to follow this sound advice; but who but a Raffles can control his every look? It was never my forte44, as you know, yet to this day I cannot conceive what I did to excite the treacherous45 corporal's suspicions. He was clever enough, however, not to betray them, and lucky enough to turn the tables on us, as you shall hear.
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1
raffles
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| n.抽彩售物( raffle的名词复数 )v.以抽彩方式售（物）( raffle的第三人称单数 ) | |
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2
affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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acquitted
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| 宣判…无罪( acquit的过去式和过去分词 )； 使（自己）作出某种表现 | |
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4
discredit
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| vt.使不可置信；n.丧失信义；不信，怀疑 | |
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5
loathe
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| v.厌恶，嫌恶 | |
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6
ineptitude
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| n.不适当；愚笨，愚昧的言行 | |
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7
butt
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| n.笑柄；烟蒂；枪托；臀部；v.用头撞或顶 | |
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8
horrified
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| a.(表现出)恐惧的 | |
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9
detest
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| vt.痛恨，憎恶 | |
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10
virulence
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| n.毒力，毒性；病毒性；致病力 | |
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trench
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| n./v.(挖)沟，(挖)战壕 | |
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12
colonists
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| n.殖民地开拓者，移民，殖民地居民( colonist的名词复数 ) | |
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13
procured
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| v.（努力）取得， （设法）获得( procure的过去式和过去分词 )；拉皮条 | |
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14
bullying
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| v.恐吓，威逼( bully的现在分词 )；豪；跋扈 | |
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15
bully
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| n.恃强欺弱者，小流氓；vt.威胁，欺侮 | |
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16
physically
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| adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律 | |
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brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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systematic
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| adj.有系统的，有计划的，有方法的 | |
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sergeant
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| n.警官，中士 | |
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20
detention
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| n.滞留，停留；拘留，扣留；(教育)留下 | |
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21
kits
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| 衣物和装备( kit的名词复数 )； 成套用品； 配套元件 | |
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22
ammunition
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| n.军火，弹药 | |
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23
tentacles
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| n.触手( tentacle的名词复数 )；触角；触须；触毛 | |
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24
eastward
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| adv.向东；adj.向东的；n.东方，东部 | |
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25
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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26
debonair
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| adj.殷勤的，快乐的 | |
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27
misgivings
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| n.疑虑，担忧，害怕；疑虑，担心，恐惧( misgiving的名词复数 )；疑惧 | |
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28
emblem
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| n.象征，标志；徽章 | |
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29
sinister
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| adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的 | |
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30
pony
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| adj.小型的；n.小马 | |
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31
frivolous
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| adj.轻薄的；轻率的 | |
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32
rebuke
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| v.指责，非难，斥责 [反]praise | |
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33
stolid
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| adj.无动于衷的，感情麻木的 | |
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34
ruse
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| n.诡计，计策；诡计 | |
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35
manoeuvre
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| n.策略，调动；v.用策略，调动 | |
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36
sullen
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| adj.愠怒的，闷闷不乐的，(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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37
defiant
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| adj.无礼的，挑战的 | |
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38
tact
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| n.机敏，圆滑，得体 | |
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stoutly
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| adv.牢固地，粗壮的 | |
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40
reiterated
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| 反复地说，重申( reiterate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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41
undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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42
bowling
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| n.保龄球运动 | |
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43
vow
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| n.誓(言)，誓约；v.起誓，立誓 | |
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44
forte
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| n.长处，擅长；adj.(音乐)强音的 | |
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45
treacherous
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| adj.不可靠的，有暗藏的危险的；adj.背叛的，背信弃义的 | |
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