“You say you heard everything just now, and there is no time for further explanations. I am in the hands of villains1, but not ill-treated, though they are one as bad as the other. You will not find it easy to rescue me. I don't see how it is to be done. You have promised not to do anything I ask you not to do, and I implore2 you not to tell a soul until you have seen me again and heard more. You might just as well kill me as come back now with help.
“You see you know nothing, though I told them you knew all. And so you shall as soon as I can see you for five minutes face to face. In the meantime do nothing—know nothing when you see Mr. Rattray—unless you wish to be my death.
“It would have been possible last night, and it may be again to-morrow night. They all go out every night when they can, except Jose, who is left in charge. They are out from nine or ten till two or three; if they are out to-morrow night my candle will be close to the window as I shall put it when I have finished this. You can see my window from over the wall. If the light is in front you must climb the wall, for they will leave the gate locked. I shall see you and will bribe3 Jose to let me out for a turn. He has done it before for a bottle of wine. I can manage him. Can I trust to you? If you break your promise—but you will not? One of them would as soon kill me as smoke a cigarette, and the rest are under his thumb. I dare not write more. But my life is in your hands.
“EVA DENISON.”
“Oh! beware of the woman Braithwaite; she is about the worst of the gang.”
I could have burst out crying in my bitter discomfiture4, mortification5, and alarm: to think that her life was in my hands, and that it depended, not on that prompt action which was the one course I had contemplated6, but on twenty-four hours of resolute7 inactivity! I would not think it. I refused the condition. It took away my one prop8, my one stay, that prospect9 of immediate10 measures which alone preserved in me such coolness as I had retained until now. I was cool no longer; where I had relied on practical direction I was baffled and hindered and driven mad; on my honor believe I was little less for some moments, groaning11, cursing, and beating the air with impotent fists—in one of them my poor love's letter crushed already to a ball.
Danger and difficulty I had been prepared to face; but the task that I was set was a hundred-fold harder than any that had whirled through my teeming12 brain. To sit still; to do nothing; to pretend I knew nothing; an hour of it would destroy my reason—and I was invited to wait twenty-four!
No; my word was passed; keep it I must. She knew the men, she must know best; and her life depended on my obedience13: she made that so plain. Obey I must and would; to make a start, I tottered14 over the plank15 that spanned the beck, and soon I saw the cottage against the moonlit sky. I came up to it. I drew back in sudden fear. It was alight upstairs and down, and the gaunt strong figure of the woman Braithwaite stood out as I had seen it first, in the doorway16, with the light showing warmly through her rank red hair.
“Is that you, Mr. Cole?” she cried in a tone that she reserved for me; yet through the forced amiability17 there rang a note of genuine surprise. She had been prepared for me never to return at all!
My knees gave under me as I forced myself to advance; but my wits took new life from the crisis, and in a flash I saw how to turn my weakness into account. I made a false step on my way to the door; when I reached it I leant heavily against the jam, and I said with a slur18 that I felt unwell. I had certainly been flushed with wine when I left Rattray; it would be no bad thing for him to hear that I had arrived quite tipsy at the cottage; should he discover I had been near an hour on the way, here was my explanation cut and dried.
So I shammed19 a degree of intoxication20 with apparent success, and Jane Braithwaite gave me her arm up the stairs. My God, how strong it was, and how weak was mine!
Left to myself, I reeled about my bedroom, pretending to undress; then out with my candles, and into bed in all my clothes, until the cottage should be quiet. Yes, I must lie still and feign21 sleep, with every nerve and fibre leaping within me, lest the she-devil below should suspect me of suspicions! It was with her I had to cope for the next four-and-twenty hours; and she filled me with a greater present terror than all those villains at the hall; for had not their poor little helpless captive described her as “about the worst of the gang?”
To think that my love lay helpless there in the hands of those wretches22; and to think that her lover lay helpless here in the supervision23 of this vile24 virago25!
It must have been one or two in the morning when I stole to my sitting-room26 window, opened it, and sat down to think steadily27, with the counterpane about my shoulders.
The moon sailed high and almost full above the clouds; these were dispersing28 as the night wore on, and such as remained were of a beautiful soft tint29 between white and gray. The sky was too light for stars, and beneath it the open country stretched so clear and far that it was as though one looked out at noonday through slate-colored glass. Down the dewy slope below my window a few calves30 fed with toothless mouthings; the beck was very audible, the oak-trees less so; but for these peaceful sounds the stillness and the solitude31 were equally intense.
I may have sat there like a mouse for half an hour. The reason was that I had become mercifully engrossed33 in one of the subsidiary problems: whether it would be better to drop from the window or to trust to the creaking stairs. Would the creaking be much worse than the thud, and the difference worth the risk of a sprained34 ankle? Well worth it, I at length decided35; the risk was nothing; my window was scarce a dozen feet from the ground. How easily it could be done, how quickly, how safely in this deep, stillness and bright moonlight! I would fall so lightly on my stocking soles; a single soft, dull thud; then away under the moon without fear or risk of a false step; away over the stone walls to the main road, and so to the nearest police-station with my tale; and before sunrise the villains would be taken in their beds, and my darling would be safe!
I sprang up softly. Why not do it now? Was I bound to keep my rash, blind promise? Was it possible these murderers would murder her? I struck a match on my trousers, I lit a candle, I read her letter carefully again, and again it maddened and distracted me. I struck my hands together. I paced the room wildly. Caution deserted36 me, and I made noise enough to wake the very mute; lost to every consideration but that of the terrifying day before me, the day of silence and of inactivity, that I must live through with an unsuspecting face, a cool head, a civil tongue! The prospect appalled37 me as nothing else could or did; nay38, the sudden noise upon the stairs, the knock at my door, and the sense that I had betrayed myself already even now all was over—these came as a relief after the haunting terror which they interrupted.
“You'll not be very well sir?”
“No, I'm not.”
“What's t' matter wi' you?”
This second question was rude and fierce with suspicion: the real woman rang out in it, yet its effect on me was astonishing: once again was I inspired to turn my slip into a move.
“Matter?” I cried. “Can't you see what's the matter; couldn't you see when I came in? Drink's the matter! I came in drunk, and now I'm mad. I can't stand it; I'm not in a fit state. Do you know nothng of me? Have they told you nothing? I'm the only man that was saved from the Lady Jermyn, the ship that was burned to the water's edge with every soul but me. My nerves are in little ends. I came down here for peace and quiet and sleep. Do you know that I have hardly slept for two months? And now I shall never sleep again! O my God I shall die for want of it! The wine has done it. I never should have touched a drop. I can't stand it; I can't sleep after it; I shall kill myself if I get no sleep. Do you hear, you woman? I shall kill myself in your house if I don't get to sleep!”
I saw her shrink, virago as she was. I waved my arms, I shrieked39 in her face. It was not all acting40. Heaven knows how true it was about the sleep. I was slowly dying of insomnia41. I was a nervous wreck42. She must have heard it. Now she saw it for herself.
No; it was by no means all acting. Intending only to lie, I found myself telling little but the strictest truth, and longing43 for sleep as passionately44 as though I had nothing to keep me awake. And yet, while my heart cried aloud in spite of me, and my nerves relieved themselves in this unpremeditated ebullition, I was all the time watching its effect as closely as though no word of it had been sincere.
Mrs. Braithwaite seemed frightened; not at all pitiful; and as I calmed down she recovered her courage and became insolent45. I had spoilt her night. She had not been told she was to take in a raving46 lunatic. She would speak to Squire47 Rattray in the morning.
“Morning?” I yelled after her as she went. “Send your husband to the nearest chemist as soon as it's dawn; send him for chloral, chloroform, morphia, anything they've got and as much of it as they'll let him have. I'll give you five pounds if you get me what'll send me to sleep all to-morrow—and to-morrow night!”
Never, I feel sure, were truth and falsehood more craftily48 interwoven; yet I had thought of none of it until the woman was at my door, while of much I had not thought at all. It had rushed from my heart and from my lips. And no sooner was I alone than I burst into hysterical49 tears, only to stop and compliment myself because they sounded genuine—as though they were not! Towards morning I took to my bed in a burning fever, and lay there, now congratulating myself upon it, because when night came they would all think me so secure; and now weeping because the night might find me dying or dead. So I tossed, with her note clasped in my hand underneath50 the sheets; and beneath my very body that stout51 weapon that I had bought in town. I might not have to use it, but I was fatalist enough to fancy that I should. In the meantime it helped me to lie still, my thoughts fixed52 on the night, and the day made easy for me after all.
If only I could sleep!
About nine o'clock Jane Braithwaite paid me a surly visit; in half an hour she was back with tea and toast and an altered mien53. She not only lit my fire, but treated me the while to her original tone of almost fervent54 civility and respect and determination. Her vagaries55 soon ceased to puzzle me: the psychology56 of Jane Braithwaite was not recondite57. In the night it had dawned upon her that Rattray had found me harmless and was done with me, therefore there was no need for her to put herself out any further on my account. In the morning, finding me really ill, she had gone to the hall in alarm; her subsequent attentions were an act of obedience; and in their midst came Rattray himself to my bedside.
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1
villains
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| n.恶棍( villain的名词复数 )；罪犯；（小说、戏剧等中的）反面人物；淘气鬼 | |
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2
implore
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| vt.乞求，恳求，哀求 | |
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bribe
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| n.贿赂；v.向…行贿，买通 | |
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discomfiture
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| n.崩溃；大败；挫败；困惑 | |
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mortification
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| n.耻辱，屈辱 | |
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6
contemplated
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| adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式 | |
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7
resolute
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| adj.坚决的，果敢的 | |
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prop
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| vt.支撑；n.支柱，支撑物；支持者，靠山 | |
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prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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groaning
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| adj. 呜咽的, 呻吟的 动词groan的现在分词形式 | |
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12
teeming
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| adj.丰富的v.充满( teem的现在分词 )；到处都是；（指水、雨等）暴降；倾注 | |
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13
obedience
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| n.服从，顺从 | |
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14
tottered
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| v.走得或动得不稳( totter的过去式和过去分词 )；踉跄；蹒跚；摇摇欲坠 | |
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15
plank
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| n.板条，木板，政策要点，政纲条目 | |
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doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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amiability
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| n.和蔼可亲的，亲切的，友善的 | |
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18
slur
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| v.含糊地说；诋毁；连唱；n.诋毁；含糊的发音 | |
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19
shammed
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| 假装，冒充( sham的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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intoxication
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| n.wild excitement;drunkenness；poisoning | |
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feign
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| vt.假装，佯作 | |
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wretches
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| n.不幸的人( wretch的名词复数 )；可怜的人；恶棍；坏蛋 | |
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23
supervision
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| n.监督，管理 | |
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vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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virago
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| n.悍妇 | |
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sitting-room
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| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
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steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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dispersing
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| adj. 分散的 动词disperse的现在分词形式 | |
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tint
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| n.淡色，浅色；染发剂；vt.着以淡淡的颜色 | |
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30
calves
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| n.(calf的复数)笨拙的男子，腓；腿肚子( calf的名词复数 )；牛犊；腓；小腿肚v.生小牛( calve的第三人称单数 )；（冰川）崩解；生（小牛等），产（犊）；使（冰川）崩解 | |
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31
solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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32
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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engrossed
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| adj.全神贯注的 | |
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sprained
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| v.&n. 扭伤 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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appalled
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| v.使惊骇，使充满恐惧( appall的过去式和过去分词)adj.惊骇的；丧胆的 | |
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38
nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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39
shrieked
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| v.尖叫( shriek的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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40
acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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41
insomnia
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| n.失眠，失眠症 | |
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42
wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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43
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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44
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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45
insolent
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| adj.傲慢的，无理的 | |
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46
raving
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| adj.说胡话的；疯狂的，怒吼的；非常漂亮的；令人醉心[痴心]的v.胡言乱语(rave的现在分词)n.胡话；疯话adv.胡言乱语地；疯狂地 | |
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47
squire
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| n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
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48
craftily
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| 狡猾地，狡诈地 | |
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49
hysterical
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| adj.情绪异常激动的，歇斯底里般的 | |
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50
underneath
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| adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面 | |
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52
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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53
mien
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| n.风采；态度 | |
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fervent
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| adj.热的，热烈的，热情的 | |
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55
vagaries
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| n.奇想( vagary的名词复数 )；异想天开；异常行为；难以预测的情况 | |
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56
psychology
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| n.心理，心理学，心理状态 | |
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57
recondite
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| adj.深奥的，难解的 | |
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