"Send another five hundred immediately. No excuses will be accepted.
"Morgan."
Only a day or two ago she had given him a hundred pounds; then sent him another four hundred, and here already he was demanding five hundred more. The inference was plain; he would persist in his demands until he had wrung9 from her all that she had found on Donald Lindsay's table. Though he stripped her of every penny she would still be at his mercy; what would he demand from her then? Whatever it might be, how would she dare refuse him then, if she dare not refuse him now?
In a sense, indeed, she had refused him, as it was. He had bade her send the cash "immediately." That she had not done; she had purposely not sent it by the night's post; and now was racked by fears of the measures he might take to show her his resentment10. Suppose he told her husband, as he had threatened to do? If he did! if he did! Had she not better hide in the sea before Herbert came back again?
His opportunities for telling were so numerous; he and Herbert were away together at that moment. That was another of her burdens. What was the meaning of this sudden, ill-omened connection which had sprung up between them? Why, all at once, had her husband become the inseparable companion of the man who had been wont11 to stand behind her chair? He had resented, so hotly, the fellow's presumption12 in even venturing to write to him; yet now they might be bosom13 friends; he even expected her to receive him as an equal. What did it mean?
Nothing kindles14 the imagination like a coward conscience. All sorts of hideous15 surmises16 had tormented17 her. A dozen explanations had occurred to her; every fresh one more unsavoury than the last. She could see that her husband had changed; in himself, as well as to her. He was not the same man; he was always brooding, irritable18, depressed19. Of late, not only had he not spoken to her a tender word, he had only addressed her when compelled, and then with scant21 civility. What did such conduct on his part portend22? All kinds of doubts afflicted23 her; yet among them one was foremost. Was it not possible that Morgan had poisoned her husband's mind against her? He, perhaps, had not told him everything, she did not believe he had; but, with diabolical24 ingenuity25, he might have hinted just enough to make Herbert afraid of hearing more. In that case her husband might be working Morgan's will under the delusion26 that, by so doing, he was protecting her; and all the while the man was wresting27 from her all that she had risked so much to gain--for Herbert's sake.
As, on the floor in the bedroom there, she wrestled28 with wild beasts of her own creation, on a sudden she heard the front door open, and a familiar step come into the house. It was her husband. She sprang to her feet, not with joy, but with terror. Why had he come back? He had told her that he would not return that night; perhaps not on the morrow. Why had he returned--when he had said that he would not return--without notice, at that hour of the night? for it seemed to her that she had been in her bedroom hours.
She heard him go into the sitting-room29; finding it in darkness, no one there, he came towards where she was. As she heard him take the half-dozen steps which divided the two rooms, she stood by the bedstead, trembling from head to foot; it might have been her executioner, not her husband, who was coming. A wild, frenzied30 impulse came to her to turn the key in the lock, and so gain time; but before she could do it he had opened the door, and was standing31 in the room.
It did not need such a rarefied vision as hers was then to perceive that with him all was not well. She seemed to see him in a blaze of lightning, phantom-haunted, as she was. It was borne in on her that he saw her as the hideous thing she saw herself to be, and that that was why he stood there, white and terrible. If she could she would have dropped to the floor, and crawled to him, and hung about his knees, and cried for mercy; but she could not; she had to stand there, straight and rigid32, waiting for him to speak. When he spoke20 his voice sounded strange in her ears, as indeed, though she was not aware of it, it did in his own.
"I see you guess why I am here!"
"Guess? How--how can I guess?"
"Has Morgan told you nothing?"
"Morgan? What--what could Morgan tell me?"
"Hasn't he told you that I'm a blackguard and a thief?"
The words were so wholly different from any she had expected him to utter that, in the stress of her agitation33, they conveyed no meaning to her mind; she stared at him like one bereft34 of her senses, as, in fact, for the moment she was. He misconstrued her look entirely35.
"Elaine," he cried, "don't look at me like that, don't! If you only knew what I have suffered, what I've gone through, you'd pity me, you wouldn't look at me as if I was something wholly outside the pale. I know you've guessed that there was something wrong ever since that--that brute36 came; you knew I wouldn't breathe the same air with him if I could help it; but it mayn't be, Elaine, it mayn't be so bad as you suppose. I don't ask you to forgive me; I don't even ask you to continue to regard me as your husband; I know I've forfeited37 all claims I may have had on you. All I ask of you is to believe that, at last, I'm going to try to be a man. I've come to tell you that, and to tell you that chiefly. I'm not going to stay; you need not fear that I'll contaminate the house which shelters you; but before I go I think I ought to tell you just what I've done, and what the temptation was; not to excuse myself, but so that, whatever happens, you, at least, may know the truth. I felt that I could not let the night pass without telling you the truth, if only because I have kept it from you so long, and in the morning it may be too late; I may not have the chance of telling it to you, face to face, again."
The longer he spoke, the more her bewilderment grew.
He made her understand, telling his tale as straightforwardly39, as clearly, as it could be told; as it might have been told even by an impartial40 witness; the man that was in him was coming to the front at last.
"You see," he said, "I was at Morgan's mercy, or he thought I was; and, for a time, I thought so too; I was such a coward! And before long I should have been wholly at his mercy, had not the sight of that man, Clifford, roused me to a consciousness of what a coward I really was; then I knew that the only way to be free was to tell the truth, and let Morgan do what he likes. I've come to tell you the truth, first of all; and to-morrow I'm going to tell Frank Clifford the truth; and when I've found Miss Lindsay, I'll tell her the truth. If I have to suffer for it, I'll suffer; but at any rate I've escaped from Morgan. What a weight would have been off my mind if I'd escaped from him before!"
As she began to grasp the drift of what it was that he was telling her, she had sunk on to the edge of the bed, and, with distended41 eyes and gaping42 mouth, sat staring at him as if at some thing of horror. He mistook the meaning of her attitude.
"I don't wonder you look at me as if I were some repulsive43 object; I couldn't be more repulsive to you than I am to myself; I understand what you feel, what you think; I know I deserve it. I know you never would have married me if you had known me to be the thing I am; I have wronged you more than any one. I can't undo44 the bonds which bind45 us, that is not in my power, and I'm afraid the law will not help you. But this I can do, and I will; I'll take myself out of your life as completely as I can. Your aunt left you enough to live on; I think you had better sink it in an annuity46; you'll be safer that way; and when I can I'll contribute what I can. I don't wish to be released from any of my obligations; on the contrary, I wish to fulfil them both in the letter and the spirit, and I will. So soon as I am earning money you shall have your proper share; but in any case it will be a comfort to me to feel that, in any case, you are provided for. And, in time, when I've done something towards regaining47 my self-respect, and--and you send for me, I'll come to you again, if only for just long enough to show that I am still alive. But you're rid of me till then. Good-bye."
He moved towards the door, as if the whole thing was at an end; as if husband and wife could be sundered49 quite so easily. She stopped him as he was going.
"Herbert!" She spoke in the queerest whisper, as if something had gone wrong with her vocal50 chords, the effect of which was to leave her partially51 strangled. She held out the telegram she had still in her hand. "Look at that."
He took it reluctantly, as if he feared it was a weapon which she aimed at him. Glancing at it, he read it aloud.
"'Send another five hundred immediately. No excuses will be accepted.
'Morgan.'
What--what does this mean?"
"It means that I'm worse than you; much worse than you."
"Elaine!" She tried to speak, but could not; her voice was strangled in her throat; it was not nice to watch her struggles to regain48 the use of it. He moved towards her, startled. "Elaine! what's the matter?"
"I'm--I'm--I'm going to tell you, only I--I---- Give me--something--to drink--there's some water--in the bottle." She pointed52 to the washstand. He brought her some water; but she could not drink it. She could not hold the glass in her own hand; she could not swallow when he raised it to her lips. He put the glass down on the floor. Her condition frightened him. Although he had just been speaking of leaving her for an indefinite period, now he knelt beside her on the floor, and, putting his arms about her, held her close, soothing53 her as best he could. It was while he held her that she told him; she confessed in her agony; the words being wrung from her as if they had been gouts of blood. He continued to hold her all the time. When, in his turn, he began to understand her story, he was man enough to realize that it was only his support which gave her the strength she needed; that but for his encircling arms, and the consciousness that they were his arms, she would collapse54. As, by degrees, her meaning was borne in on his understanding, the fashion of his countenance55 was changed, and he kept his face averted56, but he never moved. When, in disconnected sentences, the root of the matter had been told, she did what he had not done; she began, in a manner, to excuse herself. "It was--because you said that you wanted money, and--that we couldn't be married without it, that I went back and took the money--which was on the table. And Morgan saw me."
"Morgan saw you!"
It was the first time he had spoken; there was a curious contrast between his voice and hers.
"He was in the room all the time--but in the darkness--I never knew it."
"So Morgan has held us in the hollow of his hand; both of us!"
"I gave him five hundred pounds the other day, and now he's telegraphed for more."
"Poor Elaine! It seems, after all, that we're a well-matched pair, both thieves and cowards."
"Herbert!"
"My dear, do let us look facts in the face now that we are trying to make ourselves known to each other."
"I--shouldn't have taken the money--if I hadn't thought--Nora was rich--and it would make no difference."
"I'm afraid that the question of Miss Lindsay's wealth or poverty could make no difference to the thing you did."
"I know that--now."
"When it seemed that Miss Lindsay was a pauper58 did you give her back any of the money you had taken under a misconception?"
"I meant to--but I never did--I meant to give her a thousand pounds."
"It's a pity you didn't; it might have caused the residue59 to appear a little less dingy60. We're a pair of beauties! God help us both; we need His help!"
"I--haven't dared to ask for it."
But she did dare that night; they both of them dared. Already, since they had been married, they had had some strange days and nights; but that was the strangest night of their strange honeymoon61.
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1
mansions
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| n.宅第，公馆，大厦( mansion的名词复数 ) | |
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primitive
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| adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物 | |
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villas
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| 别墅，公馆( villa的名词复数 )； （城郊）住宅 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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6
crouching
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的现在分词 ) | |
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7
throbbing
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| a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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8
curt
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| adj.简短的，草率的 | |
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9
wrung
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| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
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10
resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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11
wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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12
presumption
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| n.推测，可能性，冒昧，放肆，[法律]推定 | |
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13
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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14
kindles
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| （使某物）燃烧，着火( kindle的第三人称单数 )； 激起（感情等）； 发亮，放光 | |
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15
hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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surmises
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| v.臆测，推断( surmise的第三人称单数 )；揣测；猜想 | |
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17
tormented
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| 饱受折磨的 | |
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18
irritable
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| adj.急躁的；过敏的；易怒的 | |
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19
depressed
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| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
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20
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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21
scant
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| adj.不充分的，不足的；v.减缩，限制，忽略 | |
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22
portend
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| v.预兆，预示；给…以警告 | |
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23
afflicted
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| 使受痛苦，折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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24
diabolical
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| adj.恶魔似的，凶暴的 | |
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ingenuity
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| n.别出心裁；善于发明创造 | |
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26
delusion
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| n.谬见，欺骗，幻觉，迷惑 | |
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27
wresting
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| 动词wrest的现在进行式 | |
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28
wrestled
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| v.（与某人）搏斗( wrestle的过去式和过去分词 )；扭成一团；扭打；（与…）摔跤 | |
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29
sitting-room
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| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
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30
frenzied
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| a.激怒的；疯狂的 | |
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31
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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32
rigid
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| adj.严格的，死板的；刚硬的，僵硬的 | |
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33
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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34
bereft
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| adj.被剥夺的 | |
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35
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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36
brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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37
forfeited
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| （因违反协议、犯规、受罚等）丧失，失去( forfeit的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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38
stammered
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| v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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39
straightforwardly
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| adv.正直地 | |
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40
impartial
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| adj.(in,to)公正的，无偏见的 | |
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41
distended
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| v.（使）膨胀，肿胀( distend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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42
gaping
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| adj.口的；张口的；敞口的；多洞穴的v.目瞪口呆地凝视( gape的现在分词 )；张开，张大 | |
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43
repulsive
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| adj.排斥的，使人反感的 | |
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44
undo
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| vt.解开，松开；取消，撤销 | |
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45
bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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46
annuity
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| n.年金；养老金 | |
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47
regaining
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| 复得( regain的现在分词 )； 赢回； 重回； 复至某地 | |
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48
regain
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| vt.重新获得，收复，恢复 | |
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49
sundered
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| v.隔开，分开( sunder的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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50
vocal
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| adj.直言不讳的；嗓音的；n.[pl.]声乐节目 | |
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51
partially
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| adv.部分地，从某些方面讲 | |
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52
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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53
soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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54
collapse
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| vi.累倒；昏倒；倒塌；塌陷 | |
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55
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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56
averted
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| 防止，避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 )； 转移 | |
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57
shrieked
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| v.尖叫( shriek的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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58
pauper
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| n.贫民，被救济者，穷人 | |
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59
residue
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| n.残余，剩余，残渣 | |
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60
dingy
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| adj.昏暗的，肮脏的 | |
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61
honeymoon
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| n.蜜月（假期）；vi.度蜜月 | |
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