He sauntered through the straight-cut avenues of the park towards his club, but near the school turned aside and went in to see Nina. They had known each other from childhood, attending the same school, Nina his faithful comrade and devoted3 slave—and ever since he had remained for her the one and only man, for she was of those who love but once. Since then she had been flung about Russia, striven to retain her honour, vainly tilting4 against the windmills of poverty and temptation—had failed, been broken, and now had crept back that she might live near him.
He walked through the school's dark corridors and knocked.
"Come in."
Alone, in a grey dress, plain-featured, her cheek red where it had rested against the palm of her hand, she sat beside a little table in the bare, simple room, a book on her lap. With a pang5, Agrenev noted6 her sunken eyes. But at sight of him they brightened instantly, and she rose from her seat, putting the book aside.
"You darling? Welcome! Is it raining?"
"Greeting! Nina. I have just come in for a moment."
"Take off your coat," she urged. "You will have some tea?" Her eyes and outstretched hands both said: "Thank you, thank you." "How are you doing?" she asked him anxiously.
She placed the tea-urn on the table in her tiny kitchen, laid some pots of jam by her copy-book, seated him in the solitary8 armchair, and bustled9 round, all smiles, her cheeks flushing—the spot where she had rested her hand all the long evening still showing red,—all- loving, all-surrendering, yet undesired.
"You musn't wait on me like this, Nina," Agrenev protested;"… Sit down and let us talk."
Their hands touched caressingly10, and she sat down beside him.
"What is it, my dear?" She stroked his hand and its touch warmed her!
"What is it?"
At times indignation overcame her at the thought of life; she wrung11 her hands, spoke12 with hatred13, and her eyes darkened in anger. At times she fell on her knees in tears and supplication14; but with Alexander Alexandrovitch she was always tender, with the tenderness of unrequited love.
"What is it, darling?"
"I am bored, Nina. She … Anna … does not love me; she does not leave me, nor deceive me, but neither does she love me. I know you love …"
At home four walls … Coldness … The miner, Bitska, making jokes all day in the rain … the fuse to be lighted in the quarry15, the slow igniting to be watched. Thirty years had been lived … five- tenths of his life … a half … ten-twentieths. It was like a blank cartridge16 … no kindness … a life without feeling … all blank …
The lamp seemed to go out and something warm lay over his eyes. The palm of a hand. Nina's words were calm at first; then they grew frantic17.
"Leave her, leave her, darling! Come to me, to me who wants you! What if she doesn't love you? I do, I love you …"
He was silent.
"You say nothing? I will give you all; you shall have everything! Come to me, to me who will give to you so gladly! She is as dead; she needs nothing! Do you hear? You have me … I will take all the suffering on myself …"
The lamp streamed forth18 clearly again. A little grey clod of humanity fell on to the maiden's narrow bed.
It was so intensely dark that the blackness seemed to close in on one like a great wall, and it was difficult to see two paces ahead. Close to the barracks some men were bawling19 to the music of a mouth-organ. Under cover of the gloom someone whistled between his fingers, babbling20 insolence21 and nonsense. The torches glowed through the tangled22 network of branches and leaves like globes of fire.
Agrenev walked along, carrying a lantern, by the light of which he mechanically picked his steps; close to his heels, Nina hurried through the darkness and puddles23. On every side there was the rustling24 of pines, hundreds of them, their immense stems towering upwards25 into obscurity. Although invisible, their presence could be felt. The place was wild and dreary, odours of earth, moss26, and pine- sap mingled27 together in an overpowering perfume; it was the heart of a vast primeval forest. Agrenev murmured as if to himself:
"No, Nina, I do not love you. I want nothing from you…. Anna … her father ordered her to marry me…. Ancient blood…. Anna told me she would never love…. Asya is growing up under her influence…. I love my little daughter … yet she is strange too … she looks at me with vacant eyes … my daughter! I stole her mother out of a void! I go home and lie down alone … or I go to Anna and she receives me with compressed lips. I do not want a daughter from you, Nina … Why should I? To-morrow will … be the same as yesterday."
By the door of his house in the engineer's quarters, he remembered
Nina, and all at once became solicitous28:
"You will catch cold, my dear. It will be terrible for you getting back …"
He stood before her a moment silently; then stretched out his hand:
"Well, the best of luck, my dear!"
"Aha! Sky-larking with the engineers! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
"Once upon a time a wench
Appeared before a judge's bench.."
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1
dismally
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| adv.阴暗地，沉闷地 | |
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2
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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4
tilting
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| 倾斜，倾卸 | |
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pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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6
noted
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| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
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7
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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8
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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9
bustled
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| 闹哄哄地忙乱，奔忙( bustle的过去式和过去分词 )； 催促 | |
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10
caressingly
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| 爱抚地，亲切地 | |
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11
wrung
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| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
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12
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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13
hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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14
supplication
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| n.恳求，祈愿，哀求 | |
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15
quarry
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| n.采石场；v.采石；费力地找 | |
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16
cartridge
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| n.弹壳，弹药筒；(装磁带等的)盒子 | |
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frantic
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| adj.狂乱的，错乱的，激昂的 | |
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18
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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19
bawling
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| v.大叫，大喊( bawl的现在分词 )；放声大哭；大声叫出；叫卖（货物） | |
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20
babbling
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| n.胡说，婴儿发出的咿哑声adj.胡说的v.喋喋不休( babble的现在分词 )；作潺潺声（如流水）；含糊不清地说话；泄漏秘密 | |
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21
insolence
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| n.傲慢；无礼；厚颜；傲慢的态度 | |
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22
tangled
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| adj. 纠缠的，紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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23
puddles
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| n.水坑， （尤指道路上的）雨水坑( puddle的名词复数 ) | |
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24
rustling
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| n. 瑟瑟声，沙沙声 adj. 发沙沙声的 | |
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25
upwards
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| adv.向上，在更高处...以上 | |
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26
moss
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| n.苔，藓，地衣 | |
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27
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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28
solicitous
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| adj.热切的，挂念的 | |
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29
doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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30
chattering
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| n. （机器振动发出的）咔嗒声，(鸟等)鸣，啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的，啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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31
doggerel
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| n.拙劣的诗，打油诗 | |
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