CHAPTER 6

 I cannot reproduce with any greater exactness than this the quality and gist¹ of our day-long conversation. Between us was a deep affection, and instinctive² attraction, and our mental temperaments³ and our fundamental ideas were profoundly incompatible⁴. We were both still very young in quality, we had scarcely begun to think ourselves out, we were greatly swayed by the suggestion of our circumstances, complex, incoherent and formless emotions confused our minds. But I see now that in us there struggled vast creative forces, forces that through a long future, in forms as yet undreamt of, must needs mould the destiny of our race. Far more than Mary I was accepting the conventions of our time. It seemed to me not merely reasonable but necessary that because she loved me she should place her life in my youthful and inexpert keeping, share my struggles and the real hardships they would have meant for her, devote herself to my happiness, bear me children, be my inspiration in imaginative moments, my squaw, helper and possession through the whole twenty-four hours of every day, and incidentally somehow rear whatever family we happened to produce, and I was still amazed in the depths of my being that she did not reciprocate⁶ this simple and comprehensive intention. I was ready enough I thought for equivalent sacrifices. I was prepared to give my whole life, subordinate all my ambitions, to the effort to maintain our home. If only I could have her, have her for my own, I was ready to pledge every hour I had still to live to that service. It seemed mere⁵ perversity⁷ to me then that she should turn even such vows⁸ as that against me.

 

"But I don't want it, Stevenage," she said. "I don't want it. I want you to go on to the service of the empire, I want to see you do great things, do all the things we've talked about and written about. Don't you see how much better that is for you and for me—and for the world and our lives? I don't want you to become a horrible little specialist in feeding and keeping me."

 

"Then—then wait for me!" I cried.

 

"But—I want to live myself! I don't want to wait. I want a great house, I want a great position, I want space and freedom. I want to have clothes—and be as splendid as your career is going to be. I want to be a great and shining lady in your life. I can't always live as I do now, dependent on my mother, whirled about by her movements, living in her light. Why should I be just a hard-up Vestal Virgin⁹, Stephen, in your honor? You will not be able to marry me for years and years and years—unless you neglect your work, unless you throw away everything that is worth having between us in order just to get me."

 

"But I want you, Mary," I cried, drumming at the little green table with my fist. "I want you. I want nothing else in all the world unless it has to do with you."

 

"You've got me—as much as anyone will ever have me. You'll always have me. Always I will write to you, talk to you, watch you. Why are you so greedy, Stephen? Why are you so ignoble¹⁰? If I were to come now and marry you, it wouldn't help you. It would turn you into—a wife-keeper, into the sort of uninteresting [Pg 94]preoccupied man one sees running after and gloating over the woman he's bought—at the price of his money and his dignity—and everything.... It's not proper for a man to live so for a woman and her children. It's dwarfish¹¹. It's enslaving. It's—it's indecent. Stephen! I'd hate you so." ...

1 gist   

n.要旨；梗概

参考例句：

• Can you give me the gist of this report?你能告诉我这个报告的要点吗？
• He is quick in grasping the gist of a book.他敏于了解书的要点。

2 instinctive   

adj.(出于)本能的；直觉的；(出于)天性的

参考例句：

• He tried to conceal his instinctive revulsion at the idea.他试图饰盖自己对这一想法本能的厌恶。
• Animals have an instinctive fear of fire.动物本能地怕火。

3 temperaments   

性格( temperament的名词复数 )； （人或动物的）气质； 易冲动； （性情）暴躁

参考例句：

• The two brothers have exactly opposite temperaments: one likes to be active while the other tends to be quiet and keep to himself. 他们弟兄两个脾气正好相反， 一个爱动，一个好静。
• For some temperaments work is a remedy for all afflictions. 对于某些人来说，工作是医治悲伤的良药。

4 incompatible   

adj.不相容的，不协调的，不相配的

参考例句：

• His plan is incompatible with my intent.他的计划与我的意图不相符。
• Speed and safety are not necessarily incompatible.速度和安全未必不相容。

5 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

6 reciprocate   

v.往复运动；互换；回报，酬答

参考例句：

• Although she did not reciprocate his feelings, she did not discourage him.尽管她没有回应他的感情，她也没有使他丧失信心。
• Some day I will reciprocate your kindness to me.总有一天我会报答你对我的恩德。

7 perversity   

n.任性；刚愎自用

参考例句：

• She's marrying him out of sheer perversity.她嫁给他纯粹是任性。
• The best of us have a spice of perversity in us.在我们最出色的人身上都有任性的一面。

8 vows   

誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿

参考例句：

• Matrimonial vows are to show the faithfulness of the new couple. 婚誓体现了新婚夫妇对婚姻的忠诚。
• The nun took strait vows. 那位修女立下严格的誓愿。

9 virgin   

n.处女，未婚女子；adj.未经使用的；未经开发的

参考例句：

• Have you ever been to a virgin forest?你去过原始森林吗？
• There are vast expanses of virgin land in the remote regions.在边远地区有大片大片未开垦的土地。

10 ignoble   

adj.不光彩的，卑鄙的；可耻的

参考例句：

• There's something cowardly and ignoble about such an attitude.这种态度有点怯懦可鄙。
• Some very great men have come from ignoble families.有些伟人出身低微。

11 dwarfish   

a.像侏儒的，矮小的

参考例句：

• Her dwarfish spouse still smoked his cigar and drank his rum without heeding her. 她那矮老公还在吸他的雪茄，喝他的蔗酒，睬也不睬她。
• Rest no longer satisfied with thy dwarfish attainments, but press forward to things and heavenly. 不要再满足于属世的成就，要努力奔向属天的事物。