CHAPTER 5

 The next day my mood declined again; it was as if that light, that sense of release that had shone so clear and strong in my mind, had escaped me. I sought earnestly to recover it. But I could not do so, and I found my old narrow preoccupations calling urgently to me again.

 

I thought that perhaps I might get back those intimations of outlook and relief if I clambered alone into some high solitude² and thought. I had a crude attractive vision of myself far above the heat and noise, communing with the sky. It was the worst season for climbing, and on the spur of the moment I could do nothing but get up the Rochers de Naye on the wrong side, and try and find some eyrie that was neither slippery nor wet. I did not succeed. In one place I slipped down a wet bank for some yards and held at last by a root; if I had slipped much further I should not be writing here now; and I came back a very weary and bruised³ climber, without any meditation⁴....

 

Three nights after when I was in bed I became very lucidly⁵ awake—it must have been about two or three in the morning—and the vision of life returned to me, with that same effect of enlargement and illumination. It was as if the great stillness that is behind and above and around the world of sense did in some way communicate with me. It bade me rouse my spirit and go on with the thoughts and purposes that had been stirring and proliferating⁷ in my mind when I had returned to England from the Cape¹. "Dismiss your passion." But I urged that that I could not do; there was the thought of Mary subjugated⁸ and weeping, the smarting memory of injury and defeat, the stains of subterfuge⁹ and discovery, the aching separation. No matter, the stillness answered, in the end all that is just to temper you for your greater uses.... I cannot forget, I insisted. Do not forget, but for the present this leads you no whither; this chapter has ended; dismiss it and turn to those other things. You are not only Stephen Stratton who fell into adultery; in these silences he is a little thing and far away; here and with me you are Man—Everyman—in this round world in which your lot has fallen. But Mary, I urged, to forget Mary is a treason, an ingratitude¹⁰, seeing that she loved me. But the stillness did not command me to forget her, but only to turn my face now to the great work that lies before mankind. And that work? That work, so far as your share goes, is first to understand, to solve, and then to achieve, to work out in the measure of yourself that torment¹¹ of pity and that desire for order and justice which together saturate¹² your soul. Go about the world, embrue yourself with life, make use of that confusedly striving brain that I have lifted so painfully out of the deadness of matter....

 

"But who are you?" I cried out suddenly to the night. "Who are you?"

 

I sat up on the side of my bed. The dawn was just beginning to break up the featureless blackness of the small hours. "This is just some odd corner of my brain," I said....

 

Yet—— How did I come to have this odd corner in my brain? What is this lucid⁶ stillness?...

1 cape   

n.海角，岬；披肩，短披风

参考例句：

• I long for a trip to the Cape of Good Hope.我渴望到好望角去旅行。
• She was wearing a cape over her dress.她在外套上披着一件披肩。

2 solitude   

n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方

参考例句：

• People need a chance to reflect on spiritual matters in solitude. 人们需要独处的机会来反思精神上的事情。
• They searched for a place where they could live in solitude. 他们寻找一个可以过隐居生活的地方。

3 bruised   

[医]青肿的，瘀紫的

参考例句：

• his bruised and bloodied nose 他沾满血的青肿的鼻子
• She had slipped and badly bruised her face. 她滑了一跤，摔得鼻青脸肿。

4 meditation   

n.熟虑，（尤指宗教的）默想，沉思，（pl.）冥想录

参考例句：

• This peaceful garden lends itself to meditation.这个恬静的花园适于冥想。
• I'm sorry to interrupt your meditation.很抱歉，我打断了你的沉思。

5 lucidly   

adv.清透地，透明地

参考例句：

• This is a lucidly written book. 这是本通俗易懂的书。
• Men of great learning are frequently unable to state lucidly what they know. 大学问家往往不能清楚地表达他们所掌握的知识。

6 lucid   

adj.明白易懂的，清晰的，头脑清楚的

参考例句：

• His explanation was lucid and to the point.他的解释扼要易懂。
• He wasn't very lucid,he didn't quite know where he was.他神志不是很清醒，不太知道自己在哪里。

7 proliferating   

激增( proliferate的现在分词 )； （迅速）繁殖； 增生； 扩散

参考例句：

• Computerized data bases are proliferating fast. 计算机化的数据库正在激增。
• Crown galls are cancerous growths composed of disorganized and proliferating plant cells. 冠瘿是无组织的正在不断增殖的植物细胞所组成的癌状物。

8 subjugated   

v.征服，降伏( subjugate的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The prince had appeared and subjugated the poor little handmaid. 王子出现了，这使穷苦的小丫头不胜仰慕。 来自辞典例句
• As we know, rule over subjugated peoples is incompatible with the gentile constitution. 我们知道，对被征服者的统治，是和氏族制度不相容的。 来自英汉非文学 - 家庭、私有制和国家的起源

9 subterfuge   

n.诡计；藉口

参考例句：

• European carping over the phraseology represented a mixture of hypocrisy and subterfuge.欧洲在措词上找岔子的做法既虚伪又狡诈。
• The Independents tried hard to swallow the wretched subterfuge.独立党的党员们硬着头皮想把这一拙劣的托词信以为真。

10 ingratitude   

n.忘恩负义

参考例句：

• Tim's parents were rather hurt by his ingratitude.蒂姆的父母对他的忘恩负义很痛心。
• His friends were shocked by his ingratitude to his parents.他对父母不孝，令他的朋友们大为吃惊。

11 torment   

n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠

参考例句：

• He has never suffered the torment of rejection.他从未经受过遭人拒绝的痛苦。
• Now nothing aggravates me more than when people torment each other.没有什么东西比人们的互相折磨更使我愤怒。

12 saturate   

vt.使湿透，浸透；使充满，使饱和

参考例句：

• We'll saturate California with the rise in its crime rate.我们将使加利福尼亚州的犯罪案件增长率达到饱和点。
• Saturate the meat in the mixture of oil and herbs.把肉浸泡在油和作料的卤汁里。