But he was amid wounds. The mob of men was bleeding. Because of the tattered soldier's question he now felt that his shame could be viewed. He was continually casting sidelong glances to see if the men were contemplating2 the letters of guilt3 he felt burned into his brow.
At times he regarded the wounded soldiers in an envious4 way. He conceived persons with torn bodies to be peculiarly happy. He wished that he, too, had a wound, a red badge of courage.
The spectral5 soldier was at his side like a stalking reproach. The man's eyes were still fixed7 in a stare into the unknown. His gray, appalling8 face had attracted attention in the crowd, and men, slowing to his dreary9 pace, were walking with him. They were discussing his plight10, questioning him and giving him advice. In a dogged way he repelled11 them, signing to them to go on and leave him alone. The shadows of his face were deepening and his tight lips seemed holding in check the moan of great despair. There could be seen a certain stiffness in the movements of his body, as if he were taking infinite care not to arouse the passion of his wounds. As he went on, he seemed always looking for a place, like one who goes to choose a grave.
Something in the gesture of the man as he waved the bloody12 and pitying soldiers away made the youth start as if bitten. He yelled in horror. Tottering13 forward he laid a quivering hand upon the man's arm. As the latter slowly turned his waxlike features toward him the youth screamed:
"Gawd! Jim Conklin!"
The tall soldier made a little commonplace smile. "Hello, Henry," he said.
The youth swayed on his legs and glared strangely. He stuttered and stammered14. "Oh, Jim--oh, Jim--oh, Jim--"
The tall soldier held out his gory15 hand. There was a curious red and black combination of new blood and old blood upon it. "Where yeh been, Henry?" he asked. He continued in a monotonous16 voice, "I thought mebbe yeh got keeled over. There 's been thunder t' pay t'-day. I was worryin' about it a good deal."
"Yeh know," said the tall soldier, "I was out there." He made a careful gesture. "An', Lord, what a circus! An', b'jiminey, I got shot--I got shot. Yes, b'jiminey, I got shot." He reiterated18 this fact in a bewildered way, as if he did not know how it came about.
The youth put forth19 anxious arms to assist him, but the tall soldier went firmly as if propelled. Since the youth's arrival as a guardian20 for his friend, the other wounded men had ceased to display much interest. They occupied themselves again in dragging their own tragedies toward the rear.
Suddenly, as the two friends marched on, the tall soldier seemed to be overcome by a tremor21. His face turned to a semblance22 of gray paste. He clutched the youth's arm and looked all about him, as if dreading23 to be overheard. Then he began to speak in a shaking whisper:
"I tell yeh what I'm 'fraid of, Henry--I'll tell yeh what I'm 'fraid of. I 'm 'fraid I 'll fall down--an' them yeh know--them damned artillery24 wagons--they like as not 'll run over me. That 's what I 'm 'fraid of--"
The youth cried out to him hysterically25: "I 'll take care of yeh, Jim! I 'll take care of yeh! I swear t' Gawd I will!"
"Sure--will yeh, Henry?" the tall soldier beseeched.
"Yes--yes--I tell yeh--I'll take care of yeh, Jim!" protested the youth. He could not speak accurately26 because of the gulpings in his throat.
But the tall soldier continued to beg in a lowly way. He now hung babelike to the youth's arm. His eyes rolled in the wildness of his terror. "I was allus a good friend t' yeh, wa'n't I, Henry? I 've allus been a pretty good feller, ain't I? An' it ain't much t' ask, is it? Jest t' pull me along outer th' road? I'd do it fer you, wouldn't I, Henry?"
He paused in piteous anxiety to await his friend's reply.
The youth had reached an anguish27 where the sobs28 scorched29 him. He strove to express his loyalty30, but he could only make fantastic gestures.
However, the tall soldier seemed suddenly to forget all those fears. He became again the grim, stalking specter of a soldier. He went stonily31 forward. The youth wished his friend to lean upon him, but the other always shook his head and strangely protested. "No--no--no--leave me be--leave me be--"
His look was fixed again upon the unknown. He moved with mysterious purpose, and all of the youth's offers he brushed aside. "No--no--leave me be--leave me be--"
The youth had to follow.
Presently the latter heard a voice talking softly near his shoulder. Turning he saw that it belonged to the tattered soldier. "Ye'd better take 'im outa th' road, pardner. There's a batt'ry comin' helitywhoop down th' road an' he 'll git runned over. He 's a goner anyhow in about five minutes--yeh kin6 see that. Ye 'd better take 'im outa th' road. Where th' blazes does hi git his stren'th from?"
"Lord knows!" cried the youth. He was shaking his hands helplessly.
He ran forward presently and grasped the tall soldier by the arm. "Jim! Jim!" he coaxed32, "come with me."
The tall soldier weakly tried to wrench33 himself free. "Huh," he said vacantly. He stared at the youth for a moment. At last he spoke34 as if dimly comprehending. "Oh! Inteh th' fields? Oh!"
He started blindly through the grass.
The youth turned once to look at the lashing35 riders and jouncing guns of the battery. He was startled from this view by a shrill36 outcry from the tattered man.
"Gawd! He's runnin'!"
Turning his head swiftly, the youth saw his friend running in a staggering and stumbling way toward a little clump37 of bushes. His heart seemed to wrench itself almost free from his body at this sight. He made a noise of pain. He and the tattered man began a pursuit. There was a singular race.
When he overtook the tall soldier he began to plead with all the words he could find. "Jim--Jim--what are you doing--what makes you do this way--you'll hurt yerself."
The same purpose was in the tall soldier's face. He protested in a dulled way, keeping his eyes fastened on the mystic place of his intentions. "No--no--don't tech me--leave me be--leave me be--"
The youth, aghast and filled with wonder at the tall soldier, began quaveringly to question him. "Where yeh goin', Jim? What you thinking about? Where you going? Tell me, won't you, Jim?"
The tall soldier faced about as upon relentless38 pursuers. In his eyes there was a great appeal. "Leave me be, can't yeh? Leave me be for a minnit."
The tall soldier turned and, lurching dangerously, went on. The youth and the tattered soldier followed, sneaking40 as if whipped, feeling unable to face the stricken man if he should again confront them. They began to have thoughts of a solemn ceremony. There was something rite-like in these movements of the doomed41 soldier. And there was a resemblance in him to a devotee of a mad religion, blood-sucking, muscle-wrenching, bone-crushing. They were awed42 and afraid. They hung back lest he have at command a dreadful weapon.
At last, they saw him stop and stand motionless. Hastening up, they perceived that his face wore an expression telling that he had at last found the place for which he had struggled. His spare figure was erect43; his bloody hands were quietly at his side. He was waiting with patience for something that he had come to meet. He was at the rendezvous44. They paused and stood, expectant.
There was a silence.
Finally, the chest of the doomed soldier began to heave with a strained motion. It increased in violence until it was as if an animal was within and was kicking and tumbling furiously to be free.
This spectacle of gradual strangulation made the youth writhe45, and once as his friend rolled his eyes, he saw something in them that made him sink wailing46 to the ground. He raised his voice in a last supreme47 call.
"Jim--Jim--Jim--"
The tall soldier opened his lips and spoke. He made a gesture. "Leave me be--don't tech me--leave me be--"
There was another silence while he waited.
Suddenly his form stiffened48 and straightened. Then it was shaken by a prolonged ague. He stared into space. To the two watchers there was a curious and profound dignity in the firm lines of his awful face.
He was invaded by a creeping strangeness that slowly enveloped49 him. For a moment the tremor of his legs caused him to dance a sort of hideous50 hornpipe. His arms beat wildly about his head in expression of implike enthusiasm.
His tall figure stretched itself to its full height. There was a slight rending51 sound. Then it began to swing forward, slow and straight, in the manner of a falling tree. A swift muscular contortion52 made the left shoulder strike the ground first.
The body seemed to bounce a little way from the earth. "God!" said the tattered soldier.
The youth had watched, spellbound, this ceremony at the place of meeting. His face had been twisted into an expression of every agony he had imagined for his friend.
He now sprang to his feet and, going closer, gazed upon the pastelike face. The mouth was open and the teeth showed in a laugh.
As the flap of the blue jacket fell away from the body, he could see that the side looked as if it had been chewed by wolves.
The youth turned, with sudden, livid rage, toward the battlefield. He shook his fist. He seemed about to deliver a philippic.
"Hell--"
The red sun was pasted in the sky like a wafer.
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1
tattered
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| adj.破旧的，衣衫破的 | |
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contemplating
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| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
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guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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envious
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| adj.嫉妒的，羡慕的 | |
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spectral
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| adj.幽灵的，鬼魂的 | |
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kin
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| n.家族，亲属，血缘关系；adj.亲属关系的，同类的 | |
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7
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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appalling
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| adj.骇人听闻的，令人震惊的，可怕的 | |
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dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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plight
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| n.困境，境况，誓约，艰难；vt.宣誓，保证，约定 | |
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11
repelled
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| v.击退( repel的过去式和过去分词 )；使厌恶；排斥；推开 | |
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12
bloody
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| adj.非常的的；流血的；残忍的；adv.很；vt.血染 | |
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13
tottering
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| adj.蹒跚的，动摇的v.走得或动得不稳( totter的现在分词 )；踉跄；蹒跚；摇摇欲坠 | |
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14
stammered
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| v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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gory
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| adj.流血的；残酷的 | |
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monotonous
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| adj.单调的，一成不变的，使人厌倦的 | |
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17
lamented
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| adj.被哀悼的，令人遗憾的v.（为…）哀悼，痛哭，悲伤( lament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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18
reiterated
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| 反复地说，重申( reiterate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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guardian
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| n.监护人；守卫者，保护者 | |
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tremor
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| n.震动，颤动，战栗，兴奋，地震 | |
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semblance
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| n.外貌，外表 | |
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dreading
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| v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的现在分词 ) | |
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24
artillery
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| n.(军)火炮，大炮；炮兵(部队) | |
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hysterically
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| ad. 歇斯底里地 | |
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accurately
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| adv.准确地，精确地 | |
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anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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29
scorched
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| 烧焦，烤焦( scorch的过去式和过去分词 )； 使（植物）枯萎，把…晒枯； 高速行驶； 枯焦 | |
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30
loyalty
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| n.忠诚，忠心 | |
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stonily
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| 石头地，冷酷地 | |
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32
coaxed
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| v.哄，用好话劝说( coax的过去式和过去分词 )；巧言骗取；哄劝，劝诱 | |
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33
wrench
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| v.猛拧；挣脱；使扭伤；n.扳手；痛苦，难受 | |
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34
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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35
lashing
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| n.鞭打；痛斥；大量；许多v.鞭打( lash的现在分词 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
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36
shrill
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| adj.尖声的；刺耳的；v尖叫 | |
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clump
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| n.树丛，草丛；vi.用沉重的脚步行走 | |
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38
relentless
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| adj.残酷的，不留情的，无怜悯心的 | |
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39
recoiled
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| v.畏缩( recoil的过去式和过去分词 )；退缩；报应；返回 | |
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40
sneaking
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| a.秘密的，不公开的 | |
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41
doomed
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| 命定的 | |
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42
awed
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| adj.充满敬畏的，表示敬畏的v.使敬畏，使惊惧( awe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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43
erect
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| n./v.树立，建立，使竖立；adj.直立的，垂直的 | |
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44
rendezvous
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| n.约会，约会地点，汇合点；vi.汇合，集合；vt.使汇合，使在汇合地点相遇 | |
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45
writhe
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| vt.挣扎，痛苦地扭曲；vi.扭曲，翻腾，受苦；n.翻腾，苦恼 | |
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46
wailing
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| v.哭叫，哀号( wail的现在分词 )；沱 | |
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47
supreme
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| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
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48
stiffened
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| 加强的 | |
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49
enveloped
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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50
hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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51
rending
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| v.撕碎( rend的现在分词 )；分裂；（因愤怒、痛苦等而）揪扯（衣服或头发等）；（声音等）刺破 | |
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52
contortion
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| n.扭弯，扭歪，曲解 | |
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