Above all, I saw the open window. I stared at it, conscious, as I did so, of a curious catching2 of the breath. It was so near to me; so very near. I had but to stretch out my hand to thrust it through the aperture3. Once inside, my hand would at least be dry. How it rained out there! My scanty4 clothing was soaked; I was wet to the skin! I was shivering. And, each second, it seemed to rain still faster. My teeth were chattering5. The damp was liquefying the very marrow6 in my bones.
And, inside that open window, it was, it must be, so warm, so dry!
There was not a soul in sight. Not a human being anywhere near. I listened; there was not a sound. I alone was at the mercy of the sodden7 night. Of all God’s creatures the only one unsheltered from the fountains of Heaven which He had opened. There was not one to see what I might do; not one to care. I need fear no spy.
Perhaps the house was empty; nay8, probably. It was my plain duty to knock at the door, rouse the inmates9, and call attention to their oversight,—the open window. The least they could do would be to reward me for my pains. But, suppose the place was empty, what would be the use of knocking? It would be to make a useless clatter10. Possibly to disturb the neighbourhood, for nothing. And, even if the people were at home, I might go unrewarded. I had learned, in a hard school, the world’s ingratitude11. To have caused the window to be closed—the inviting12 window, the tempting13 window, the convenient window!—and then to be no better for it after all, but still to be penniless, hopeless, hungry, out in the cold and the rain—better anything than that. In such a situation, too late, I should say to myself that mine had been the conduct of a fool. And I should say it justly too. To be sure.
Leaning over the low wall I found that I could very easily put my hand inside the room. How warm it was in there! I could feel the difference of temperature in my fingertips. Very quietly I stepped right over the wall. There was just room to stand in comfort between the window and the wall. The ground felt to the foot as if it were cemented. Stooping down, I peered through the opening. I could see nothing. It was black as pitch inside. The blind was drawn14 right up; it seemed incredible that anyone could be at home, and have gone to bed, leaving the blind up, and the window open. I placed my ear to the crevice15. How still it was! Beyond doubt, the place was empty.
I decided16 to push the window up another inch or two, so as to enable me to reconnoitre. If anyone caught me in the act, then there would be an opportunity to describe the circumstances, and to explain how I was just on the point of giving the alarm. Only, I must go carefully. In such damp weather it was probable that the sash would creak.
Not a bit of it. It moved as readily and as noiselessly as if it had been oiled. This silence of the sash so emboldened17 me that I raised it more than I intended. In fact, as far as it would go. Not by a sound did it betray me. Bending over the sill I put my head and half my body into the room. But I was no forwarder. I could see nothing. Not a thing. For all I could tell the room might be unfurnished. Indeed, the likelihood of such an explanation began to occur to me. I might have chanced upon an empty house. In the darkness there was nothing to suggest the contrary. What was I to do?
Well, if the house was empty, in such a plight18 as mine I might be said to have a moral, if not a legal, right, to its bare shelter. Who, with a heart in his bosom19, would deny it me? Hardly the most punctilious20 landlord. Raising myself by means of the sill I slipped my legs into the room.
The moment I did so I became conscious that, at any rate, the room was not entirely21 unfurnished. The floor was carpeted. I have had my feet on some good carpets in my time; I know what carpets are; but never did I stand upon a softer one than that. It reminded me, somehow, even then, of the turf in Richmond Park,—it caressed22 my instep, and sprang beneath my tread. To my poor, travel-worn feet, it was luxury after the puddly23, uneven24 road. Should I, now I had ascertained25 that the room was, at least, partially26 furnished, beat a retreat? Or should I push my researches further? It would have been rapture27 to have thrown off my clothes, and to have sunk down, on the carpet, then and there, to sleep. But,—I was so hungry, so famine-goaded; what would I not have given to have lighted on something good to eat!
I moved a step or two forward, gingerly, reaching out with my hands, lest I struck, unawares, against some unseen thing. When I had taken three or four such steps, without encountering an obstacle, or, indeed, anything at all, I began, all at once, to wish I had not seen the house; that I had passed it by; that I had not come through the window; that I were safely out of it again. I became, on a sudden, aware, that something was with me in the room. There was nothing, ostensible28, to lead me to such a conviction; it may be that my faculties29 were unnaturally30 keen; but, all at once, I knew that there was something there. What was more, I had a horrible persuasion31 that, though unseeing, I was seen; that my every movement was being watched.
What it was that was with me I could not tell; I could not even guess. It was as though something in my mental organisation32 had been stricken by a sudden paralysis33. It may seem childish to use such language; but I was overwrought, played out; physically34 speaking, at my last counter; and, in an instant, without the slightest warning, I was conscious of a very curious sensation, the like of which I had never felt before, and the like of which I pray that I never may feel again,—a sensation of panic fear. I remained rooted to the spot on which I stood, not daring to move, fearing to draw my breath. I felt that the presence with me in the room was something strange, something evil.
I do not know how long I stood there, spell-bound, but certainly for some considerable space of time. By degrees, as nothing moved, nothing was seen, nothing was heard, and nothing happened, I made an effort to better play the man. I knew that, at the moment, I played the cur. And endeavoured to ask myself of what it was I was afraid. I was shivering at my own imaginings. What could be in the room, to have suffered me to open the window and to enter unopposed? Whatever it was, was surely to the full as great a coward as I was, or why permit, unchecked, my burglarious entry. Since I had been allowed to enter, the probability was that I should be at liberty to retreat,—and I was sensible of a much keener desire to retreat than I had ever had to enter.
I had to put the greatest amount of pressure upon myself before I could summon up sufficient courage to enable me to even turn my head upon my shoulders,—and the moment I did so I turned it back again. What constrained35 me, to save my soul I could not have said,—but I was constrained. My heart was palpitating in my bosom; I could hear it beat. I was trembling so that I could scarcely stand. I was overwhelmed by a fresh flood of terror. I stared in front of me with eyes in which, had it been light, would have been seen the frenzy36 of unreasoning fear. My ears were strained so that I listened with an acuteness of tension which was painful.
Something moved. Slightly, with so slight a sound, that it would scarcely have been audible to other ears save mine. But I heard. I was looking in the direction from which the movement came, and, as I looked, I saw in front of me two specks37 of light. They had not been there a moment before, that I would swear. They were there now. They were eyes,—I told myself they were eyes. I had heard how cats’ eyes gleam in the dark, though I had never seen them, and I said to myself that these were cats’ eyes; that the thing in front of me was nothing but a cat. But I knew I lied. I knew that these were eyes, and I knew they were not cats’ eyes, but what eyes they were I did not know,—nor dared to think.
They moved,—towards me. The creature to which the eyes belonged was coming closer. So intense was my desire to fly that I would much rather have died than stood there still; yet I could not control a limb; my limbs were as if they were not mine. The eyes came on,—noiselessly. At first they were between two and three feet from the ground; but, on a sudden, there was a squelching38 sound, as if some yielding body had been squashed upon the floor. The eyes vanished,—to reappear, a moment afterwards, at what I judged to be a distance of some six inches from the floor. And they again came on.
So it seemed that the creature, whatever it was to which the eyes belonged, was, after all, but small. Why I did not obey the frantic39 longing40 which I had to flee from it, I cannot tell; I only know, I could not. I take it that the stress and privations which I had lately undergone, and which I was, even then, still undergoing, had much to do with my conduct at that moment, and with the part I played in all that followed. Ordinarily I believe that I have as high a spirit as the average man, and as solid a resolution; but when one has been dragged through the Valley of Humiliation41, and plunged42, again and again, into the Waters of Bitterness and Privation, a man can be constrained to a course of action of which, in his happier moments, he would have deemed himself incapable43. I know this of my own knowledge.
Slowly the eyes came on, with a strange slowness, and as they came they moved from side to side as if their owner walked unevenly44. Nothing could have exceeded the horror with which I awaited their approach,—except my incapacity to escape them. Not for an instant did my glance pass from them,—I could not have shut my eyes for all the gold the world contains!—so that as they came closer I had to look right down to what seemed to be almost the level of my feet. And, at last, they reached my feet. They never paused. On a sudden I felt something on my boot, and, with a sense of shrinking, horror, nausea45, rendering46 me momentarily more helpless, I realised that the creature was beginning to ascend47 my legs, to climb my body. Even then what it was I could not tell,—it mounted me, apparently48, with as much ease as if I had been horizontal instead of perpendicular49. It was as though it were some gigantic spider,—a spider of the nightmares; a monstrous50 conception of some dreadful vision. It pressed lightly against my clothing with what might, for all the world, have been spider’s legs. There was an amazing host of them,—I felt the pressure of each separate one. They embraced me softly, stickily, as if the creature glued and unglued them, each time it moved.
Higher and higher! It had gained my loins. It was moving towards the pit of my stomach. The helplessness with which I suffered its invasion was not the least part of my agony,—it was that helplessness which we know in dreadful dreams. I understood, quite well, that if I did but give myself a hearty52 shake, the creature would fall off; but I had not a muscle at my command.
As the creature mounted its eyes began to play the part of two small lamps; they positively53 emitted rays of light. By their rays I began to perceive faint outlines of its body. It seemed larger than I had supposed. Either the body itself was slightly phosphorescent, or it was of a peculiar54 yellow hue55. It gleamed in the darkness. What it was there was still nothing to positively show, but the impression grew upon me that it was some member of the spider family, some monstrous member, of the like of which I had never heard or read. It was heavy, so heavy indeed, that I wondered how, with so slight a pressure, it managed to retain its hold,—that it did so by the aid of some adhesive56 substance at the end of its legs I was sure,—I could feel it stick. Its weight increased as it ascended,—and it smelt57! I had been for some time aware that it emitted an unpleasant, foetid odour; as it neared my face it became so intense as to be unbearable58.
It was at my chest. I became more and more conscious of an uncomfortable wobbling motion, as if each time it breathed its body heaved. Its forelegs touched the bare skin about the base of my neck; they stuck to it,—shall I ever forget the feeling? I have it often in my dreams. While it hung on with those in front it seemed to draw its other legs up after it. It crawled up my neck, with hideous59 slowness, a quarter of an inch at a time, its weight compelling me to brace51 the muscles of my back. It reached my chin, it touched my lips,—and I stood still and bore it all, while it enveloped60 my face with its huge, slimy, evil-smelling body, and embraced me with its myriad61 legs. The horror of it made me mad. I shook myself like one stricken by the shaking ague. I shook the creature off. It squashed upon the floor. Shrieking62 like some lost spirit, turning, I dashed towards the window. As I went, my foot, catching in some obstacle, I fell headlong to the floor.
Picking myself up as quickly as I could I resumed my flight,—rain or no rain, oh to get out of that room! I already had my hand upon the sill, in another instant I should have been over it,—then, despite my hunger, my fatigues63, let anyone have stopped me if they could!—when someone behind me struck a light.
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1
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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aperture
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| n.孔，隙，窄的缺口 | |
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scanty
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| adj.缺乏的，仅有的，节省的，狭小的，不够的 | |
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chattering
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| n. （机器振动发出的）咔嗒声，(鸟等)鸣，啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的，啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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6
marrow
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| n.骨髓；精华；活力 | |
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7
sodden
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| adj.浑身湿透的；v.使浸透；使呆头呆脑 | |
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8
nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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inmates
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| n.囚犯( inmate的名词复数 ) | |
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10
clatter
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| v./n.(使)发出连续而清脆的撞击声 | |
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ingratitude
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| n.忘恩负义 | |
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inviting
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| adj.诱人的，引人注目的 | |
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tempting
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| a.诱人的, 吸引人的 | |
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14
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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crevice
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| n.(岩石、墙等)裂缝；缺口 | |
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16
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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emboldened
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| v.鼓励，使有胆量( embolden的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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18
plight
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| n.困境，境况，誓约，艰难；vt.宣誓，保证，约定 | |
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19
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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punctilious
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| adj.谨慎的，谨小慎微的 | |
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21
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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caressed
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| 爱抚或抚摸…( caress的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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puddly
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| adj.多泥水坑的 | |
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uneven
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| adj.不平坦的，不规则的，不均匀的 | |
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ascertained
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| v.弄清，确定，查明( ascertain的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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partially
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| adv.部分地，从某些方面讲 | |
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rapture
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| n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜 | |
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ostensible
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| adj.(指理由)表面的，假装的 | |
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faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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30
unnaturally
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| adv.违反习俗地；不自然地；勉强地；不近人情地 | |
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31
persuasion
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| n.劝说；说服；持有某种信仰的宗派 | |
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32
organisation
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| n.组织，安排，团体，有机休 | |
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paralysis
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| n.麻痹(症)；瘫痪(症) | |
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physically
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| adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律 | |
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constrained
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| adj.束缚的,节制的 | |
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frenzy
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| n.疯狂，狂热，极度的激动 | |
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37
specks
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| n.眼镜；斑点，微粒，污点( speck的名词复数 ) | |
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38
squelching
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| v.发吧唧声，发扑哧声( squelch的现在分词 )；制止；压制；遏制 | |
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39
frantic
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| adj.狂乱的，错乱的，激昂的 | |
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40
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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41
humiliation
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| n.羞辱 | |
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42
plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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43
incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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44
unevenly
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| adv.不均匀的 | |
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45
nausea
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| n.作呕，恶心；极端的憎恶(或厌恶) | |
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46
rendering
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| n.表现，描写 | |
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47
ascend
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| vi.渐渐上升，升高；vt.攀登，登上 | |
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48
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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49
perpendicular
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| adj.垂直的，直立的；n.垂直线，垂直的位置 | |
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50
monstrous
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| adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的 | |
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51
brace
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| n. 支柱,曲柄,大括号; v. 绷紧,顶住,(为困难或坏事)做准备 | |
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52
hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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53
positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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54
peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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55
hue
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| n.色度；色调；样子 | |
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56
adhesive
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| n.粘合剂；adj.可粘着的，粘性的 | |
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57
smelt
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| v.熔解，熔炼；n.银白鱼，胡瓜鱼 | |
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58
unbearable
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| adj.不能容忍的；忍受不住的 | |
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59
hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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60
enveloped
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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61
myriad
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| adj.无数的；n.无数，极大数量 | |
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62
shrieking
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| v.尖叫( shriek的现在分词 ) | |
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63
fatigues
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| n.疲劳( fatigue的名词复数 )；杂役；厌倦；（士兵穿的）工作服 | |
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