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CHAPTER XV
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 Not knowing routes or directions in New York, Eugene took a Desbrosses Street ferry, and coming into West Street wandered along that curious thoroughfare staring at the dock entrances. Manhattan Island seemed a little shabby to him from this angle but he thought that although physically1, perhaps, it might not be distinguished2, there must be other things which made it wonderful. Later when he saw the solidity of it, the massed houses, the persistent3 streams of people, the crush of traffic, it dawned on him that mere4 humanity in packed numbers makes a kind of greatness, and this was the island's first characteristic. There were others, like the prevailing5 lowness of the buildings in its old neighborhoods, the narrowness of the streets in certain areas, the shabbiness of brick and stone when they have seen an hundred years of weather, which struck him as curious or depressing. He was easily touched by exterior6 conditions.
 
As he wandered he kept looking for some place where he might like to live, some house that had a yard or a tree. At length he found a row of houses in lower Seventh Avenue with an array of iron balconies in front which appealed to him. He applied7 here and in one house found a room for four dollars which he thought he had better take for the present. It was cheaper than any hotel. His hostess was a shabby woman in black who made scarcely any impression on him as a personality, merely giving him a thought as to what a dreary8 thing it was to keep roomers and the room itself was nothing, a commonplace, but he had a new world before him and all his interests were outside. He wanted to see this city. He deposited his grip and sent for his trunk and then took to the streets, having come to see and hear things which would be of advantage to him.
 
He went about this early relationship to the city in the right spirit. For a little while he did not try to think what he would do, but struck out and walked, here, there and everywhere, this very first day down Broadway to the City Hall and up Broadway from 14th to 42nd street the same night. Soon he knew all Third Avenue and the Bowery, the wonders of Fifth Avenue and Riverside Drive, the beauties of the East River, the Battery, Central Park and the lower East Side. He sought out quickly the wonders of metropolitan9 life—its crowds at dinner and  theatre time in Broadway, its tremendous throngs10 morning and afternoon in the shopping district, its amazing world of carriages in Fifth Avenue and Central Park. He had marveled at wealth and luxury in Chicago, but here it took his breath away. It was obviously so much more fixed11, so definite and comprehensible. Here one felt intuitively the far reaches which separate the ordinary man from the scion12 of wealth. It curled him up like a frozen leaf, dulled his very soul, and gave him a clear sense of his position in the social scale. He had come here with a pretty high estimate of himself, but daily, as he looked, he felt himself crumbling13. What was he? What was art? What did the city care? It was much more interested in other things, in dressing14, eating, visiting, riding abroad. The lower part of the island was filled with cold commercialism which frightened him. In the upper half, which concerned only women and show—a voluptuous15 sybaritism—caused him envy. He had but two hundred dollars with which to fight his way, and this was the world he must conquer.
 
Men of Eugene's temperament16 are easily depressed17. He first gorged18 the spectacle of life and then suffered from mental indigestion. He saw too much of it too quickly. He wandered about for weeks, looking in the shop windows, the libraries, the museums, the great streets, growing all the while more despondent19. At night he would return to his bare room and indite20 long epistles to Angela, describing what he had seen and telling her of his undying love for her—largely because he had no other means of ridding himself of his superabundant vitality21 and moods. They were beautiful letters, full of color and feeling, but to Angela they gave a false impression of emotion and sincerity22 because they appeared to be provoked by absence from her. In part of course they were, but far more largely they were the result of loneliness and the desire for expression which this vast spectacle of life itself incited23. He also sent her some tentative sketches24 of things he had seen—a large crowd in the dark at 34th Street; a boat off 86th Street in the East River in the driving rain; a barge25 with cars being towed by a tug26. He could not think exactly what to do with these things at that time, but he wanted to try his hand at illustrating27 for the magazines. He was a little afraid of these great publications, however, for now that he was on the ground with them his art did not appear so significant.
 
It was during the first few weeks that he received his only letter from Ruby28. His parting letter to her, written when he reached New York, had been one of those makeshift affairs which  faded passion indites29. He was so sorry he had to leave without seeing her. He had intended to come out but the rush of preparation at the last moment, and so forth30; he hoped to come back to Chicago one of these days and he would look her up. He still loved her, but it was necessary for him to leave—to come where the greatest possibilities were. "I remember how sweet you were when I first saw you," he added. "I shall never forget my first impressions, little Ruby."
 
It was cruel to add this touch of remembrance, but the artist in him could not refrain. It cut Ruby as a double edged sword, for she understood that he cared well enough that way—æsthetically. It was not her but beauty that he loved, and her particular beauty had lost its appeal.
 
She wrote after a time, intending to be defiant31, indifferent, but she really could not be. She tried to think of something sharp to say, but finally put down the simple truth.
 
"Dear Eugene:" she wrote, "I got your note several weeks ago, but I could not bring myself to answer it before this. I know everything is over between us and that is all right, for I suppose it has to be. You couldn't love any woman long, I think. I know what you say about your having to go to New York to broaden your field is true. You ought to, but I'm sorry you didn't come out. You might have. Still I don't blame you, Eugene. It isn't much different from what has been going on for some time. I have cared but I'll get over that, I know, and I won't ever think hard of you. Won't you return me the notes I have sent you from time to time and my pictures? You won't want them now.
 
"Ruby."
There was a little blank space on the paper and then:—
 
"I stood by the window last night and looked out on the street. The moon was shining and those dead trees were waving in the wind. I saw the moon on that pool of water over in the field. It looked like silver. Oh, Eugene, I wish I were dead."
 
He jumped up as he read these words and clenched32 the letter in his hands. The pathos33 of it all cut him to the quick, raised his estimate of her, made him feel as if he had made a mistake in leaving her. He really cared for her after all. She was sweet. If she were here now he could live with her. She might as well be a model in New York as in Chicago. He was on the verge34 of writing this, when one of the long, almost daily epistles Angela was sending arrived and changed his mood. He did not see how, in the face of so great and clean a love as hers, he could go on with Ruby. His affection had obviously been dying. Should he try to revive it now?
 
 This conflict of emotions was so characteristic of Eugene's nature, that had he been soundly introspective, he would have seen that he was an idealist by temperament, in love with the æsthetic, in love with love, and that there was no permanent faith in him for anybody—except the impossible she.
 
As it was, he wrote Ruby a letter breathing regret and sorrow but not inviting35 her to come. He could not have supported her long if she had, he thought. Besides he was anxious to secure Angela. So that affair lapsed36.
 
In the meantime he visited the magazine offices. On leaving Chicago he had put in the bottom of his trunk a number of drawings which he had done for the Globe—his sketches of the Chicago River, of Blue Island Avenue, of which he had once made a study as a street, of Goose Island and of the Lake front. There were some street scenes, too, all forceful in the peculiar37 massing of their blacks, the unexpected, almost flashing, use of a streak38 of white at times. There was emotion in them, a sense of life. He should have been appreciated at once, but, oddly, there was just enough of the radically39 strange about what he did to make his work seem crude, almost coarse. He drew a man's coat with a single dash of his pen. He indicated a face by a spot. If you looked close there was seldom any detail, frequently none at all. From the praise he had received at the art school and from Mathews and Goldfarb he was slowly coming to the conclusion that he had a way of his own. Being so individual he was inclined to stick to it. He walked with an air of conviction which had nothing but his own belief in himself to back it up, and it was not an air which drew anybody to him. When he showed his pictures at the Century, Harper's, Scribner's, they were received with an air of weary consideration. Dozens of magnificent drawings were displayed on their walls signed by men whom Eugene now knew to be leaders in the illustration world. He returned to his room convinced that he had made no impression at all. They must be familiar with artists a hundred times better than himself.
 
As a matter of fact Eugene was simply overawed by the material face of things. These men whose pictures he saw displayed on the walls of the art and editorial rooms of the magazines were really not, in many instances, any better than himself, if as good. They had the advantage of solid wood frames and artistic40 acceptance. He was a long way as yet from magazine distinction but the work he did later had no more of the fire than had this early stuff. It was a little broader in treatment, a little less intolerant of detail, but no more vigorous if as much so. The  various art directors were weary of smart young artists showing drawings. A little suffering was good for them in the beginning. So Eugene was incontinently turned away with a little faint praise which was worse than opposition41. He sank very low in spirits.
 
There were still the smaller magazines and the newspapers, however, and he hunted about faithfully, trying to get something to do. From one or two of the smaller magazines, he secured commissions, after a time, three or four drawings for thirty-five dollars; and from that had to be extracted models' fees. He had to have a room where he could work as an artist, receiving models to pose, and he finally found one in West 14th Street, a back bedroom, looking out over an open court and with a public stair which let all come who might without question. This cost him twenty-five dollars a month, but he thought he had better risk it. If he could get a few commissions he could live.
 

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1 physically iNix5     
adj.物质上,体格上,身体上,按自然规律
参考例句:
  • He was out of sorts physically,as well as disordered mentally.他浑身不舒服,心绪也很乱。
  • Every time I think about it I feel physically sick.一想起那件事我就感到极恶心。
2 distinguished wu9z3v     
adj.卓越的,杰出的,著名的
参考例句:
  • Elephants are distinguished from other animals by their long noses.大象以其长长的鼻子显示出与其他动物的不同。
  • A banquet was given in honor of the distinguished guests.宴会是为了向贵宾们致敬而举行的。
3 persistent BSUzg     
adj.坚持不懈的,执意的;持续的
参考例句:
  • Albert had a persistent headache that lasted for three days.艾伯特连续头痛了三天。
  • She felt embarrassed by his persistent attentions.他不时地向她大献殷勤,使她很难为情。
4 mere rC1xE     
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过
参考例句:
  • That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
  • It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。
5 prevailing E1ozF     
adj.盛行的;占优势的;主要的
参考例句:
  • She wears a fashionable hair style prevailing in the city.她的发型是这个城市流行的款式。
  • This reflects attitudes and values prevailing in society.这反映了社会上盛行的态度和价值观。
6 exterior LlYyr     
adj.外部的,外在的;表面的
参考例句:
  • The seed has a hard exterior covering.这种子外壳很硬。
  • We are painting the exterior wall of the house.我们正在给房子的外墙涂漆。
7 applied Tz2zXA     
adj.应用的;v.应用,适用
参考例句:
  • She plans to take a course in applied linguistics.她打算学习应用语言学课程。
  • This cream is best applied to the face at night.这种乳霜最好晚上擦脸用。
8 dreary sk1z6     
adj.令人沮丧的,沉闷的,单调乏味的
参考例句:
  • They live such dreary lives.他们的生活如此乏味。
  • She was tired of hearing the same dreary tale of drunkenness and violence.她听够了那些关于酗酒和暴力的乏味故事。
9 metropolitan mCyxZ     
adj.大城市的,大都会的
参考例句:
  • Metropolitan buildings become taller than ever.大城市的建筑变得比以前更高。
  • Metropolitan residents are used to fast rhythm.大都市的居民习惯于快节奏。
10 throngs 5e6c4de77c525e61a9aea0c24215278d     
n.人群( throng的名词复数 )v.成群,挤满( throng的第三人称单数 )
参考例句:
  • She muscled through the throngs of people, frantically searching for David. 她使劲挤过人群,拼命寻找戴维。 来自辞典例句
  • Our friends threaded their way slowly through the throngs upon the Bridge. 我们这两位朋友在桥上从人群中穿过,慢慢地往前走。 来自辞典例句
11 fixed JsKzzj     
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的
参考例句:
  • Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗?
  • Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定,我们就不应该随意改变。
12 scion DshyB     
n.嫩芽,子孙
参考例句:
  • A place is cut in the root stock to accept the scion.砧木上切开一个小口,来接受接穗。
  • Nabokov was the scion of an aristocratic family.纳博科夫是一个贵族家庭的阔少。
13 crumbling Pyaxy     
adj.摇摇欲坠的
参考例句:
  • an old house with crumbling plaster and a leaking roof 一所灰泥剥落、屋顶漏水的老房子
  • The boat was tied up alongside a crumbling limestone jetty. 这条船停泊在一个摇摇欲坠的石灰岩码头边。
14 dressing 1uOzJG     
n.(食物)调料;包扎伤口的用品,敷料
参考例句:
  • Don't spend such a lot of time in dressing yourself.别花那么多时间来打扮自己。
  • The children enjoy dressing up in mother's old clothes.孩子们喜欢穿上妈妈旧时的衣服玩。
15 voluptuous lLQzV     
adj.肉欲的,骄奢淫逸的
参考例句:
  • The nobility led voluptuous lives.贵族阶层过着骄奢淫逸的生活。
  • The dancer's movements were slow and voluptuous.舞女的动作缓慢而富挑逗性。
16 temperament 7INzf     
n.气质,性格,性情
参考例句:
  • The analysis of what kind of temperament you possess is vital.分析一下你有什么样的气质是十分重要的。
  • Success often depends on temperament.成功常常取决于一个人的性格。
17 depressed xu8zp9     
adj.沮丧的,抑郁的,不景气的,萧条的
参考例句:
  • When he was depressed,he felt utterly divorced from reality.他心情沮丧时就感到完全脱离了现实。
  • His mother was depressed by the sad news.这个坏消息使他的母亲意志消沉。
18 gorged ccb1b7836275026e67373c02e756e79c     
v.(用食物把自己)塞饱,填饱( gorge的过去式和过去分词 );作呕
参考例句:
  • He gorged himself at the party. 在宴会上他狼吞虎咽地把自己塞饱。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The men, gorged with food, had unbuttoned their vests. 那些男人,吃得直打饱嗝,解开了背心的钮扣。 来自辞典例句
19 despondent 4Pwzw     
adj.失望的,沮丧的,泄气的
参考例句:
  • He was up for a time and then,without warning,despondent again.他一度兴高采烈,但忽然又情绪低落下来。
  • I feel despondent when my work is rejected.作品被拒后我感到很沮丧。
20 indite Ikeyi     
v.写(文章,信等)创作
参考例句:
  • This essay is written just for trying to indite article in English.此散文仅仅是为了尝试用英文写文章。
  • I indite a poem.我写了一首诗。
21 vitality lhAw8     
n.活力,生命力,效力
参考例句:
  • He came back from his holiday bursting with vitality and good health.他度假归来之后,身强体壮,充满活力。
  • He is an ambitious young man full of enthusiasm and vitality.他是个充满热情与活力的有远大抱负的青年。
22 sincerity zyZwY     
n.真诚,诚意;真实
参考例句:
  • His sincerity added much more authority to the story.他的真诚更增加了故事的说服力。
  • He tried hard to satisfy me of his sincerity.他竭力让我了解他的诚意。
23 incited 5f4269a65c28d83bc08bbe5050389f54     
刺激,激励,煽动( incite的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • He incited people to rise up against the government. 他煽动人们起来反对政府。
  • The captain's example incited the men to bravery. 船长的榜样激发了水手们的勇敢精神。
24 sketches 8d492ee1b1a5d72e6468fd0914f4a701     
n.草图( sketch的名词复数 );素描;速写;梗概
参考例句:
  • The artist is making sketches for his next painting. 画家正为他的下一幅作品画素描。
  • You have to admit that these sketches are true to life. 你得承认这些素描很逼真。 来自《简明英汉词典》
25 barge munzH     
n.平底载货船,驳船
参考例句:
  • The barge was loaded up with coal.那艘驳船装上了煤。
  • Carrying goods by train costs nearly three times more than carrying them by barge.通过铁路运货的成本比驳船运货成本高出近3倍。
26 tug 5KBzo     
v.用力拖(或拉);苦干;n.拖;苦干;拖船
参考例句:
  • We need to tug the car round to the front.我们需要把那辆车拉到前面。
  • The tug is towing three barges.那只拖船正拖着三只驳船。
27 illustrating a99f5be8a18291b13baa6ba429f04101     
给…加插图( illustrate的现在分词 ); 说明; 表明; (用示例、图画等)说明
参考例句:
  • He upstaged the other speakers by illustrating his talk with slides. 他演讲中配上幻灯片,比其他演讲人更吸引听众。
  • Material illustrating detailed structure of graptolites has been etched from limestone by means of hydrofluoric acid. 表明笔石详细构造的物质是利用氢氟酸从石灰岩中侵蚀出来。
28 ruby iXixS     
n.红宝石,红宝石色
参考例句:
  • She is wearing a small ruby earring.她戴着一枚红宝石小耳环。
  • On the handle of his sword sat the biggest ruby in the world.他的剑柄上镶有一颗世上最大的红宝石。
29 indites acc9db57d022d990517d72c78695f57f     
vt.写(文章,信等)创作,赋诗,创作(indite的第三人称单数形式)
参考例句:
30 forth Hzdz2     
adv.向前;向外,往外
参考例句:
  • The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
  • He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。
31 defiant 6muzw     
adj.无礼的,挑战的
参考例句:
  • With a last defiant gesture,they sang a revolutionary song as they were led away to prison.他们被带走投入监狱时,仍以最后的反抗姿态唱起了一支革命歌曲。
  • He assumed a defiant attitude toward his employer.他对雇主采取挑衅的态度。
32 clenched clenched     
v.紧握,抓紧,咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • He clenched his fists in anger. 他愤怒地攥紧了拳头。
  • She clenched her hands in her lap to hide their trembling. 她攥紧双手放在腿上,以掩饰其颤抖。 来自《简明英汉词典》
33 pathos dLkx2     
n.哀婉,悲怆
参考例句:
  • The pathos of the situation brought tears to our eyes.情况令人怜悯,看得我们不禁流泪。
  • There is abundant pathos in her words.她的话里富有动人哀怜的力量。
34 verge gUtzQ     
n.边,边缘;v.接近,濒临
参考例句:
  • The country's economy is on the verge of collapse.国家的经济已到了崩溃的边缘。
  • She was on the verge of bursting into tears.她快要哭出来了。
35 inviting CqIzNp     
adj.诱人的,引人注目的
参考例句:
  • An inviting smell of coffee wafted into the room.一股诱人的咖啡香味飘进了房间。
  • The kitchen smelled warm and inviting and blessedly familiar.这间厨房的味道温暖诱人,使人感到亲切温馨。
36 lapsed f403f7d09326913b001788aee680719d     
adj.流失的,堕落的v.退步( lapse的过去式和过去分词 );陷入;倒退;丧失
参考例句:
  • He had lapsed into unconsciousness. 他陷入了昏迷状态。
  • He soon lapsed into his previous bad habits. 他很快陷入以前的恶习中去。 来自《简明英汉词典》
37 peculiar cinyo     
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的
参考例句:
  • He walks in a peculiar fashion.他走路的样子很奇特。
  • He looked at me with a very peculiar expression.他用一种很奇怪的表情看着我。
38 streak UGgzL     
n.条理,斑纹,倾向,少许,痕迹;v.加条纹,变成条纹,奔驰,快速移动
参考例句:
  • The Indians used to streak their faces with paint.印第安人过去常用颜料在脸上涂条纹。
  • Why did you streak the tree?你为什么在树上刻条纹?
39 radically ITQxu     
ad.根本地,本质地
参考例句:
  • I think we may have to rethink our policies fairly radically. 我认为我们可能要对我们的政策进行根本的反思。
  • The health service must be radically reformed. 公共医疗卫生服务必须进行彻底改革。
40 artistic IeWyG     
adj.艺术(家)的,美术(家)的;善于艺术创作的
参考例句:
  • The picture on this screen is a good artistic work.这屏风上的画是件很好的艺术品。
  • These artistic handicrafts are very popular with foreign friends.外国朋友很喜欢这些美术工艺品。
41 opposition eIUxU     
n.反对,敌对
参考例句:
  • The party leader is facing opposition in his own backyard.该党领袖在自己的党內遇到了反对。
  • The police tried to break down the prisoner's opposition.警察设法制住了那个囚犯的反抗。


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