CHAPTER 25

 For a moment he was silent. Then he took her hand again and pressed it gently.

 

"You know, darling," he said, "whatever happens we must keep Dorothy out of this."

 

She looked at him blankly.

 

"But I don't understand. How can we?"

 

"Well, we can't only think of ourselves in this world. You know, other things being equal, there's nothing in the world I'd love more than to marry you. But it's quite out of the question. I know Dorothy: nothing would induce her to divorce me."

 

Kitty was becoming horribly frightened. She began to cry again. He got up and sat down beside her with his arm round her waist.

 

"Try not to upset yourself, darling. We must keep our heads."

 

"I thought you loved me . . ."

 

"Of course I love you," he said tenderly. "You surely can't have any doubt of that now."

 

"If she won't divorce you Walter will make you co-respondent."

 

He took an appreciable¹ time to answer. His tone was dry.

 

"Of course that would ruin my career, but I'm afraid it wouldn't do you much good. If the worst came to the worst I should make a clean breast of it to Dorothy; she'd be dreadfully hurt and wretched, but she'd forgive me." He had an idea. "I'm not sure if the best plan wouldn't be to make a clean breast of it anyhow. If she went to your husband I daresay she could persuade him to hold his tongue."

 

"Does that mean you don't want her to divorce you?"

 

"Well, I have got my boys to think of, haven't I? And naturally I don't want to make her unhappy. We've always got on very well together. She's been an awfully² good wife to me, you know."

 

"Why did you tell me that she meant nothing to you?"

 

"I never did. I said I wasn't in love with her. We haven't slept together for years except now and then, on Christmas Day for instance, or the day before she was going home or the day she came back. She isn't a woman who cares for that sort of thing. But we've always been excellent friends. I don't mind telling you that I depend on her more than anyone has any idea of."

 

"Don't you think it would have been better to leave me alone then?"

 

She found it strange that with terror catching³ her breath she could speak so calmly.

 

"You were the loveliest little thing I'd seen for years. I just fell madly in love with you. You can't blame me for that."

 

"After all, you said you'd never let me down."

 

"But, good God, I'm not going to let you down. We've got in an awful scrape and I'm going to do everything that's humanly possible to get you out of it."

 

"Except the one obvious and natural thing."

 

He stood up and returned to his own chair.

 

"My dear, you must be reasonable. We'd much better face the situation frankly⁴. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but really I must tell you the truth. I'm very keen on my career. There's no reason why I shouldn't be a Governor one of these days, and it's a damned soft job to be a Colonial Governor. Unless we can hush⁵ this up I don't stand a dog's chance. I may not have to leave the service, but there'll always be a black mark against me. If I do have to leave the service then I must go into business in China, where I know people. In either case my only chance is for Dorothy to stick to me."

 

"Was it necessary to tell me that you wanted nothing in the world but me?"

 

The corners of his mouth drooped⁶ peevishly⁷.

 

"Oh, my dear, it's rather hard to take quite literally⁸ the things a man says when he's in love with you."

 

"Didn't you mean them?"

 

"At the moment."

 

"And what's to happen to me if Walter divorces me?"

 

"If we really haven't a leg to stand on of course we won't defend. There shouldn't be any publicity⁹ and people are pretty broad-minded nowadays."

 

For the first time Kitty thought of her mother. She shivered. She looked again at Townsend. Her pain now was tinged¹⁰ with resentment¹¹.

 

"I'm sure you'd have no difficulty in bearing any inconvenience that I had to suffer," she said.

 

"We're not going to get much further by saying disagreeable things to one another," he answered.

 

She gave a cry of despair. It was dreadful that she should love him so devotedly¹² and yet feel such bitterness towards him. It was not possible that he understood how much he meant to her.

 

"Oh, Charlie, don't you know how I love you?"

 

"But, my dear, I love you. Only we're not living in a desert island and we've got to make the best we can out of the circumstances that are forced upon us. You really must be reasonable."

 

"How can I be reasonable? To me our love was everything and you were my whole life. It is not very pleasant to realise that to you it was only an episode."

 

"Of course it wasn't an episode. But you know, when you ask me to get my wife, to whom I'm very much attached, to divorce me, and ruin my career by marrying you, you're asking a good deal."

 

"No more than I'm willing to do for you."

 

"The circumstances are rather different."

 

"The only difference is that you don't love me."

 

"One can be very much in love with a woman without wishing to spend the rest of one's life with her."

 

She gave him a quick look and despair seized her. Heavy tears rolled down her cheeks.

 

"Oh, how cruel! How can you be so heartless?"

 

She began to sob¹³ hysterically¹⁴. He gave an anxious glance at the door.

 

"My dear, do try and control yourself."

 

"You don't know how I love you," she gasped¹⁵. "I can't live without you. Have you no pity for me?"

 

She could not speak any more. She wept without restraint.

 

"I don't want to be unkind and, Heaven knows, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I must tell you the truth."

 

"It's the ruin of my whole life. Why couldn't you leave me alone? What harm had I ever done you?"

 

"Of course if it does you any good to put all the blame on me you may."

 

Kitty blazed with sudden anger.

 

"I suppose I threw myself at your head. I suppose I gave you no peace till you yielded to my entreaties¹⁶."

 

"I don't say that. But I certainly should never have thought of making love to you if you hadn't made it perfectly¹⁷ clear that you were ready to be made love to."

 

Oh, the shame of it! She knew that what he said was true. His face now was sullen¹⁸ and worried and his hands moved uneasily. Every now and then he gave her a little glance of exasperation¹⁹.

 

"Won't your husband forgive you?" he said after a while.

 

"I never asked him."

 

Instinctively²⁰ he clenched²¹ his hands. She saw him suppress the exclamation²² of annoyance²³ which came to his lips.

 

"Why don't you go to him and throw yourself on his mercy? If he's as much in love with you as you say he's bound to forgive you."

 

"How little you know him!"

1 appreciable   

adj.明显的，可见的，可估量的，可觉察的

参考例句：

• There is no appreciable distinction between the twins.在这对孪生子之间看不出有什么明显的差别。
• We bought an appreciable piece of property.我们买下的资产有增值的潜力。

2 awfully   

adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地

参考例句：

• Agriculture was awfully neglected in the past.过去农业遭到严重忽视。
• I've been feeling awfully bad about it.对这我一直感到很难受。

3 catching   

adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住

参考例句：

• There are those who think eczema is catching.有人就是认为湿疹会传染。
• Enthusiasm is very catching.热情非常富有感染力。

4 frankly   

adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说

参考例句：

• To speak frankly, I don't like the idea at all.老实说，我一点也不赞成这个主意。
• Frankly speaking, I'm not opposed to reform.坦率地说，我不反对改革。

5 hush   

int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静

参考例句：

• A hush fell over the onlookers.旁观者们突然静了下来。
• Do hush up the scandal!不要把这丑事声张出去！

6 drooped   

弯曲或下垂，发蔫( droop的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Her eyelids drooped as if she were on the verge of sleep. 她眼睑低垂好像快要睡着的样子。
• The flowers drooped in the heat of the sun. 花儿晒蔫了。

7 peevishly   

adv．暴躁地

参考例句：

• Paul looked through his green glasses peevishly when the other speaker brought down the house with applause. 当另一个演说者赢得了满座喝彩声时，保罗心里又嫉妒又气恼。
• "I've been sick, I told you," he said, peevishly, almost resenting her excessive pity. “我生了一场病，我告诉过你了，"他没好气地说，对她的过分怜悯几乎产生了怨恨。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹

8 literally   

adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实

参考例句：

• He translated the passage literally.他逐字逐句地翻译这段文字。
• Sometimes she would not sit down till she was literally faint.有时候，她不走到真正要昏厥了，决不肯坐下来。

9 publicity   

n.众所周知，闻名；宣传，广告

参考例句：

• The singer star's marriage got a lot of publicity.这位歌星的婚事引起了公众的关注。
• He dismissed the event as just a publicity gimmick.他不理会这件事，只当它是一种宣传手法。

10 tinged   

v.（使）发丁丁声( ting的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• memories tinged with sadness 略带悲伤的往事
• white petals tinged with blue 略带蓝色的白花瓣

11 resentment   

n.怨愤，忿恨

参考例句：

• All her feelings of resentment just came pouring out.她一股脑儿倾吐出所有的怨恨。
• She cherished a deep resentment under the rose towards her employer.她暗中对她的雇主怀恨在心。

12 devotedly   

专心地； 恩爱地； 忠实地； 一心一意地

参考例句：

• He loved his wife devotedly. 他真诚地爱他的妻子。
• Millions of fans follow the TV soap operas devotedly. 千百万观众非常着迷地收看这部电视连续剧。

13 sob   

n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣

参考例句：

• The child started to sob when he couldn't find his mother.孩子因找不到他妈妈哭了起来。
• The girl didn't answer,but continued to sob with her head on the table.那个女孩不回答，也不抬起头来。她只顾低声哭着。

14 hysterically   

ad. 歇斯底里地

参考例句：

• The children giggled hysterically. 孩子们歇斯底里地傻笑。
• She sobbed hysterically, and her thin body was shaken. 她歇斯底里地抽泣着，她瘦弱的身体哭得直颤抖。

15 gasped   

v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要

参考例句：

• She gasped at the wonderful view. 如此美景使她惊讶得屏住了呼吸。
• People gasped with admiration at the superb skill of the gymnasts. 体操运动员的高超技艺令人赞叹。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

16 entreaties   

n.恳求，乞求( entreaty的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• He began with entreaties and ended with a threat. 他先是恳求，最后是威胁。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The tyrant was deaf to the entreaties of the slaves. 暴君听不到奴隶们的哀鸣。 来自《简明英汉词典》

17 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

18 sullen   

adj.愠怒的，闷闷不乐的，(天气等)阴沉的

参考例句：

• He looked up at the sullen sky.他抬头看了一眼阴沉的天空。
• Susan was sullen in the morning because she hadn't slept well.苏珊今天早上郁闷不乐，因为昨晚没睡好。

19 exasperation   

n.愤慨

参考例句：

• He snorted with exasperation.他愤怒地哼了一声。
• She rolled her eyes in sheer exasperation.她气急败坏地转动着眼珠。

20 instinctively   

adv.本能地

参考例句：

• As he leaned towards her she instinctively recoiled. 他向她靠近，她本能地往后缩。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He knew instinctively where he would find her. 他本能地知道在哪儿能找到她。 来自《简明英汉词典》

21 clenched   

v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He clenched his fists in anger. 他愤怒地攥紧了拳头。
• She clenched her hands in her lap to hide their trembling. 她攥紧双手放在腿上，以掩饰其颤抖。 来自《简明英汉词典》

22 exclamation   

n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词

参考例句：

• He could not restrain an exclamation of approval.他禁不住喝一声采。
• The author used three exclamation marks at the end of the last sentence to wake up the readers.作者在文章的最后一句连用了三个惊叹号，以引起读者的注意。

23 annoyance   

n.恼怒，生气，烦恼

参考例句：

• Why do you always take your annoyance out on me?为什么你不高兴时总是对我出气？
• I felt annoyance at being teased.我恼恨别人取笑我。