At that hour the streets of the city were very empty so that more than ever it seemed a city of the dead. The passers-by had an abstracted air so that you might almost have thought them ghosts. The sky was unclouded and the early sun shed a heavenly mildness on the scene; it was difficult to imagine, on that blithe3, fresh and smiling morn, that the city lay gasping4, like a man whose life is being throttled5 out of him by a maniac's hands, in the dark clutch of the pestilence6. It was incredible that nature (the blue of the sky was clear like a child's heart) should be so indifferent when men were writhing7 in agony and going to their death in fear. When the chairs were set down at the convent door a beggar arose from the ground and asked Kitty for alms. He was clad in faded and shapeless rags that looked as though he had raked them out of a muck-heap, and through their rents you saw his skin hard and rough and tanned like the hide of a goat; his bare legs were emaciated8, and his head, with its shock of coarse grey hair (the cheeks hollow, the eyes wild), was the head of a madman. Kitty turned from him in frightened horror, and the chair-bearers in gruff tones bade him begone, but he was importunate9, and to be rid of him, shuddering10, Kitty gave him a few cash.
The door was opened and the amah explained that Kitty wished to see the Mother Superior. She was taken once more into the stiff parlour in which it seemed a window had never been opened, and here she sat so long that she began to think her message had not been delivered. At last the Mother Superior came in.
"I must ask you to excuse me for keeping you waiting," she said. "I did not expect you and I was occupied."
"Forgive me for troubling you. I am afraid I have come at an inconvenient11 moment."
The Mother Superior gave her a smile, austere12 but sweet, and begged her to sit down. But Kitty saw that her eyes were swollen13. She had been weeping. Kitty was startled, for she had received from the Mother Superior the impression that she was a woman whom earthly troubles could not greatly move.
"I am afraid something has happened," she faltered14. "Would you like me to go away? I can come another time."
"No, no. Tell me what I can do for you. It is only—only that one of our Sisters died last night." Her voice lost its even tone and her eyes filled with tears. "It is wicked of me to grieve, for I know that her good and simple soul has flown straight to Heaven; she was a saint; but it is difficult always to control one's weakness. I am afraid I am not always very reasonable."
"I'm so sorry, I'm so dreadfully sorry," said Kitty.
"She was one of the Sisters who came out from France with me ten years ago. There are only three of us left now. I remember, we stood in a little group at the end of the boat (what do you call it, the bow?) and as we steamed out of the harbour at Marseilles and we saw the golden figure of Saint-Marie la Grace, we said a prayer together. It had been my greatest wish since I entered religion to be allowed to come to China, but when I saw the land grow distant I could not prevent myself from weeping. I was their Superior; it was not a very good example I was giving my daughters. And then Sister St. Francis Xavier—that is the name of the Sister who died last night—took my hand and told me not to grieve; for wherever we were, she said, there was France and there was God."
That severe and handsome face was distorted by the grief which human nature wrung16 from her and by the effort to restrain the tears which her reason and her faith refused. Kitty looked away. She felt that it was indecent to peer into that struggle.
"I have been writing to her father. She, like me, was her mother's only daughter. They were fisher folk in Brittany, and it will be hard for them. Oh, when will this terrible epidemic17 cease? Two of our girls have been attacked this morning and nothing but a miracle can save them. These Chinese have no resistance. The loss of Sister St. Francis is very severe. There is so much to do and now fewer than ever to do it. We have Sisters at our other houses in China who are eager to come, all our Order, I think, would give anything in the world (only they have nothing) to come here; but it is almost certain death; and so long as we can manage with the Sisters we have I am unwilling18 that others should be sacrificed."
"That encourages me, ma mère," said Kitty. "I have been feeling that I had come at a very unfortunate moment. You said the other day that there was more work than the Sisters could do, and I was wondering if you would allow me to come and help them. I do not mind what I do if I can only be useful. I should be thankful if you just set me to scrub the floors."
The Mother Superior gave an amused smile and Kitty was astonished at the mobile temperament19 which could so easily pass from mood to mood.
"There is no need to scrub the floors. That is done after a fashion by the orphans20." She paused and looked kindly21 at Kitty. "My dear child, do you not think that you have done enough in coming with your husband here? That is more than many wives would have had the courage to do, and for the rest how can you be better occupied than in giving him peace and comfort when he comes home to you after the day's work? Believe me, he needs then all your love and all your consideration."
Kitty could not easily meet the eyes which rested on her with a detached scrutiny22 and with an ironical23 kindliness24.
"I have nothing whatever to do from morning till night," said Kitty. "I feel that there is so much to be done that I cannot bear to think that I am idle. I don't want to make a nuisance of myself, and I know that I have no claim either on your kindness or on your time, but I mean what I say and it would be a charity that you were doing me if you would let me be of some help to you."
"You do not look very strong. When you did us the pleasure of coming to see us the day before yesterday it seemed to me that you were very pale. Sister St. Joseph thought that perhaps you were going to have a baby."
"No, no," cried Kitty, flushing to the roots of her hair.
The Mother Superior gave a little, silvery laugh.
"It is nothing to be ashamed of, my dear child, nor is there anything improbable in the supposition. How long have you been married?"
"I am pale because I am naturally pale, but I am very strong, and I promise you I am not afraid of work."
Now the Superior was complete mistress of herself. She assumed unconsciously the air of authority which was habitual25 to her and she held Kitty in an appraising26 scrutiny. Kitty felt unaccountably nervous.
"Can you speak Chinese?"
"I'm afraid not," answered Kitty.
"Ah, that is a pity. I could have put you in charge of the elder girls. It is very difficult just now, and I am afraid they will get—what do you call? Out of hand?" she concluded with a tentative sound.
"Could I not be of help to the Sisters in nursing? I am not at all afraid of the cholera27. I could nurse the girls or the soldiers."
The Mother Superior, unsmiling now, a reflective look on her face, shook her head.
"You do not know what the cholera is. It is a dreadful thing to see. The work in the infirmary is done by soldiers and we need a Sister only to supervise. And so far as the girls are concerned . . . no, no, I am sure your husband would not wish it; it is a terrible and frightening sight."
"I should grow used to it."
"No, it is out of the question. It is our business and our privilege to do such things, but there is no call for you to do so."
"You make me feel very useless and very helpless. It seems incredible that there should be nothing that I can do."
"Have you spoken to your husband of your wish?"
"Yes."
The Mother Superior looked at her as though she were delving28 into the secrets of her heart, but when she saw Kitty's anxious and appealing look she gave a smile.
"Of course you are a Protestant?" she asked.
"Yes."
"It doesn't matter. Dr. Watson, the missionary29 who died, was a Protestant and it made no difference. He was all that was most charming to us. We owe him a deep debt of gratitude30."
Now the flicker31 of a smile passed over Kitty's face, but she did not say anything. The Mother Superior seemed to reflect. She rose to her feet.
"It is very good of you. I think I can find something for you to do. It is true that now Sister St. Francis has been taken from us, it is impossible for us to cope with the work. When will you be ready to start?"
"Now."
"À la bonne heure. I am content to hear you say that."
"I promise you I will do my best. I am very grateful to you for the opportunity that you are giving me."
The Mother Superior opened the parlour door, but as she was going out she hesitated. Once more she gave Kitty a long, searching and sagacious look. Then she laid her hand gently on her arm.
"You know, my dear child, that one cannot find peace in work or in pleasure, in the world or in a convent, but only in one's soul."
Kitty gave a little start, but the Mother Superior passed swiftly out.
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收听单词发音
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1
ashore
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| adv.在(向)岸上，上岸 | |
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desultorily
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| adv. 杂乱无章地, 散漫地 | |
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3
blithe
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| adj.快乐的，无忧无虑的 | |
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4
gasping
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| adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
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5
throttled
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| v.扼杀( throttle的过去式和过去分词 )；勒死；使窒息；压制 | |
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6
pestilence
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| n.瘟疫 | |
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writhing
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| （因极度痛苦而）扭动或翻滚( writhe的现在分词 ) | |
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8
emaciated
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| adj.衰弱的，消瘦的 | |
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importunate
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| adj.强求的；纠缠不休的 | |
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10
shuddering
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| v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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11
inconvenient
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| adj.不方便的，令人感到麻烦的 | |
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12
austere
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| adj.艰苦的；朴素的，朴实无华的；严峻的 | |
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13
swollen
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| adj.肿大的，水涨的；v.使变大，肿胀 | |
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14
faltered
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| （嗓音）颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 )； 支吾其词； 蹒跚； 摇晃 | |
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15
sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣 | |
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16
wrung
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| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
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17
epidemic
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| n.流行病；盛行；adj.流行性的，流传极广的 | |
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18
unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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temperament
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| n.气质，性格，性情 | |
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20
orphans
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| 孤儿( orphan的名词复数 ) | |
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21
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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22
scrutiny
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| n.详细检查，仔细观察 | |
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23
ironical
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| adj.讽刺的，冷嘲的 | |
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24
kindliness
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| n.厚道，亲切，友好的行为 | |
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25
habitual
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| adj.习惯性的；通常的，惯常的 | |
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26
appraising
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| v.估价( appraise的现在分词 )；估计；估量；评价 | |
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27
cholera
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| n.霍乱 | |
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28
delving
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| v.深入探究，钻研( delve的现在分词 ) | |
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29
missionary
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| adj.教会的，传教(士)的；n.传教士 | |
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30
gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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31
flicker
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| vi./n.闪烁，摇曳，闪现 | |
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