CHAPTER 75

 Kitty did not know whether it was by chance or by design that she never found herself for a moment alone with Charlie. His tact¹ was exquisite². He remained kindly³, sympathetic, pleasant and amiable⁴. No one could have guessed that they had ever been more than acquaintances. But one afternoon when she was lying on a sofa outside her room reading he passed along the verandah and stopped.

 

"What is that you're reading?" he asked.

 

"A book."

 

She looked at him with irony⁵. He smiled.

 

"Dorothy's gone to a garden-party at Government House."

 

"I know. Why haven't you gone too?"

 

"I didn't feel I could face it and I thought I'd come back and keep you company. The car's outside, would you like to come for a drive round the island?"

 

"No, thank you."

 

He sat down on the foot of the sofa on which she lay.

 

"We haven't had the chance of a talk by ourselves since you got here."

 

She looked straight into his eyes with cool insolence⁶.

 

"Do you think we have anything to say to one another?"

 

"Volumes."

 

She shifted her feet a little so that she should not touch him.

 

"Are you still angry with me?" he asked, the shadow of a smile on his lips and his eyes melting.

 

"Not a bit," she laughed.

 

"I don't think you'd laugh if you weren't."

 

"You're mistaken; I despise you much too much to be angry with you."

 

He was unruffled.

 

"I think you're rather hard on me. Looking back calmly, don't you honestly think I was right?"

 

"From your standpoint."

 

"Now that you know Dorothy, you must admit she's rather nice?"

 

"Of course. I shall always be grateful for her great kindness to me."

 

"She's one in a thousand. I should never have had a moment's peace if we'd bolted. It would have been a rotten trick to play on her. And after all I had to think of my children; it would have been an awful handicap for them."

 

For a minute she held him in her reflective gaze. She felt completely mistress of the situation.

 

"I've watched you very carefully during the week I've been here. I've come to the conclusion that you really are fond of Dorothy. I should never have thought you capable of it."

 

"I told you I was fond of her. I wouldn't do anything to cause her a moment's uneasiness. She's the best wife a man ever had."

 

"Have you never thought that you owed her any loyalty⁷?"

 

"What the eye doesn't see the heart doesn't grieve for," he smiled.

 

She shrugged⁸ her shoulders.

 

"You're despicable."

 

"I'm human. I don't know why you should think me such a cad because I fell head over ears in love with you. I didn't particularly want to, you know."

 

It gave her a little twist of the heart-strings to hear him say that.

 

"I was fair game," she answered bitterly.

 

"Naturally I couldn't foresee that we were going to get into such a devil of a scrape."

 

"And in any case you had a pretty shrewd idea that if anyone suffered it wouldn't be you."

 

"I think that's a bit thick. After all, now it's all over, you must see I acted for the best for both of us. You lost your head and you ought to be jolly glad that I kept mine. Do you think it would have been a success if I'd done what you wanted me to? We were dashed uncomfortable in the frying-pan, but we should have been a damned sight worse off in the fire. And you haven't come to any harm. Why can't we kiss and make friends?"

 

She almost laughed.

 

"You can hardly expect me to forget that you sent me to almost certain death without a shadow of compunction?"

 

"Oh, what nonsense! I told you there was no risk if you took reasonable precautions. Do you think I'd have let you go for a moment if I hadn't been perfectly⁹ convinced of that?"

 

"You were convinced because you wanted to be. You're one of those cowards who only think what it's profitable for them to think."

 

"Well, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. You have come back, and if you don't mind my saying anything so objectionable you've come back prettier than ever."

 

"And Walter?"

 

He could not resist the facetious¹⁰ answer which came to his mind. Charlie smiled.

 

"Nothing suits you so well as black."

 

She stared at him for a moment. Tears filled her eyes and she began to cry. Her beautiful face was distorted with grief. She did not seek to hide it, but lay on her back with her hands along her sides.

 

"For God's sake don't cry like that. I didn't mean to say anything unkind. It was only a joke. You know how sincerely I feel for you in your bereavement¹¹."

 

"Oh, hold your stupid tongue."

 

"I'd give anything to have Walter back again."

 

"He died because of you and me."

 

He took her hand, but she snatched it away from him.

 

"Please go away," she sobbed¹². "That's the only thing you can do for me now. I hate and despise you. Walter was worth ten of you and I was too big a fool to see it. Go away. Go away."

 

She saw he was going to speak again and she sprang to her feet and went into her room. He followed her, and as he entered, with instinctive¹³ prudence¹⁴, drew the shutter¹⁵ so that they were almost in darkness.

 

"I can't leave you like this," he said, putting his arms round her. "You know I didn't mean to hurt you."

 

"Don't touch me. For God's sake go. Go away."

 

She tried to tear herself from him, but he would not let her. She was crying hysterically¹⁶ now.

 

"Darling, don't you know that I've always loved you," he said in his deep, charming voice. "I love you more than ever."

 

"How can you tell such lies! Let me go. Damn you, let me go."

 

"Don't be unkind to me, Kitty. I know I've been a brute¹⁷ to you, but forgive me."

 

She was shaking and sobbing¹⁸, struggling to get away from him, but the pressure of his arms was strangely comforting. She had so longed to feel them round her once more, just once, and all her body trembled. She felt dreadfully weak. It seemed as though her bones were melting, and the sorrow she felt for Walter shifted into pity for herself.

 

"Oh, how could you be so unkind to me?" she sobbed. "Don't you know that I loved you with all my heart. No one has ever loved you as I loved you."

 

"Darling."

 

He began to kiss her.

 

"No, no," she cried.

 

He sought her face, but she turned it away; he sought her lips; she did not know what he was saying, broken, passionate¹⁹ words of love; and his arms held her so firmly that she felt like a child that has been lost and now at last is safe at home. She moaned faintly. Her eyes were closed and her face was wet with tears. And then he found her lips and the pressure of his upon them shot through her body like the flame of God. It was an ecstasy²⁰ and she was burnt to a cinder²¹ and she glowed as though she were transfigured. In her dreams, in her dreams she had known this rapture²². What was he doing with her now? She did not know. She was not a woman, her personality was dissolved, she was nothing but desire. He lifted her off her feet, she was very light in his arms, he carried her and she clung to him, desperate and adoring; her head sank on the pillow and his lips clung to hers.

 

1 tact   

n.机敏，圆滑，得体

参考例句：

• She showed great tact in dealing with a tricky situation.她处理棘手的局面表现得十分老练。
• Tact is a valuable commodity.圆滑老练是很有用处的。

2 exquisite   

adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的

参考例句：

• I was admiring the exquisite workmanship in the mosaic.我当时正在欣赏镶嵌画的精致做工。
• I still remember the exquisite pleasure I experienced in Bali.我依然记得在巴厘岛所经历的那种剧烈的快感。

3 kindly   

adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地

参考例句：

• Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。
• A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。

4 amiable   

adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的

参考例句：

• She was a very kind and amiable old woman.她是个善良和气的老太太。
• We have a very amiable companionship.我们之间存在一种友好的关系。

5 irony   

n.反语，冷嘲；具有讽刺意味的事，嘲弄

参考例句：

• She said to him with slight irony.她略带嘲讽地对他说。
• In her voice we could sense a certain tinge of irony.从她的声音里我们可以感到某种讥讽的意味。

6 insolence   

n.傲慢；无礼；厚颜；傲慢的态度

参考例句：

• I've had enough of your insolence, and I'm having no more. 我受够了你的侮辱，不能再容忍了。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• How can you suffer such insolence? 你怎么能容忍这种蛮横的态度？ 来自《简明英汉词典》

7 loyalty   

n.忠诚，忠心

参考例句：

• She told him the truth from a sense of loyalty.她告诉他真相是出于忠诚。
• His loyalty to his friends was never in doubt.他对朋友的一片忠心从来没受到怀疑。

8 shrugged   

vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式）

参考例句：

• Sam shrugged and said nothing. 萨姆耸耸肩膀，什么也没说。
• She shrugged, feigning nonchalance. 她耸耸肩，装出一副无所谓的样子。 来自《简明英汉词典》

9 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

10 facetious   

adj.轻浮的，好开玩笑的

参考例句：

• He was so facetious that he turned everything into a joke.他好开玩笑，把一切都变成了戏谑。
• I became angry with the little boy at his facetious remarks.我对这个小男孩过分的玩笑变得发火了。

11 bereavement   

n.亲人丧亡，丧失亲人，丧亲之痛

参考例句：

• the pain of an emotional crisis such as divorce or bereavement 诸如离婚或痛失亲人等情感危机的痛苦
• I sympathize with you in your bereavement. 我对你痛失亲人表示同情。 来自《简明英汉词典》

12 sobbed   

哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说

参考例句：

• She sobbed out the story of her son's death. 她哭诉着她儿子的死。
• She sobbed out the sad story of her son's death. 她哽咽着诉说她儿子死去的悲惨经过。

13 instinctive   

adj.(出于)本能的；直觉的；(出于)天性的

参考例句：

• He tried to conceal his instinctive revulsion at the idea.他试图饰盖自己对这一想法本能的厌恶。
• Animals have an instinctive fear of fire.动物本能地怕火。

14 prudence   

n.谨慎，精明，节俭

参考例句：

• A lack of prudence may lead to financial problems.不够谨慎可能会导致财政上出现问题。
• The happy impute all their success to prudence or merit.幸运者都把他们的成功归因于谨慎或功德。

15 shutter   

n.百叶窗；(照相机)快门；关闭装置

参考例句：

• The camera has a shutter speed of one-sixtieth of a second.这架照像机的快门速度达六十分之一秒。
• The shutter rattled in the wind.百叶窗在风中发出嘎嘎声。

16 hysterically   

ad. 歇斯底里地

参考例句：

• The children giggled hysterically. 孩子们歇斯底里地傻笑。
• She sobbed hysterically, and her thin body was shaken. 她歇斯底里地抽泣着，她瘦弱的身体哭得直颤抖。

17 brute   

n.野兽，兽性

参考例句：

• The aggressor troops are not many degrees removed from the brute.侵略军简直象一群野兽。
• That dog is a dangerous brute.It bites people.那条狗是危险的畜牲，它咬人。

18 sobbing   

<主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的

参考例句：

• I heard a child sobbing loudly. 我听见有个孩子在呜呜地哭。
• Her eyes were red with recent sobbing. 她的眼睛因刚哭过而发红。

19 passionate   

adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的

参考例句：

• He is said to be the most passionate man.据说他是最有激情的人。
• He is very passionate about the project.他对那个项目非常热心。

20 ecstasy   

n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷

参考例句：

• He listened to the music with ecstasy.他听音乐听得入了神。
• Speechless with ecstasy,the little boys gazed at the toys.小孩注视着那些玩具，高兴得说不出话来。

21 cinder   

n.余烬，矿渣

参考例句：

• The new technology for the preparation of superfine ferric oxide from pyrite cinder is studied.研究了用硫铁矿烧渣为原料，制取超细氧化铁红的新工艺。
• The cinder contains useful iron,down from producing sulphuric acid by contact process.接触法制硫酸的矿渣中含有铁矿。

22 rapture   

n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜

参考例句：

• His speech was received with rapture by his supporters.他的演说受到支持者们的热烈欢迎。
• In the midst of his rapture,he was interrupted by his father.他正欢天喜地，被他父亲打断了。