He spoke2 with courteous3 persuasion4, but his peculiar5 intense politeness and restraint somewhat dismayed Christine. By experience she knew that they were a sure symptom of annoyance6. She often, though not on this occasion, wished that he would yield to anger and make a scene; but he never did, and she would hate him for not doing so. The fact was that under the agreement which ruled their relations, she had no right to telephone to him, save in grave and instant emergency, and even then it was her duty to say first, when she got the communication: "Mr. Pringle wants to speak to Mr. Hoape." She had omitted, in her disquiet7, to fulfil this formality. Recognising his voice, she had begun passionately8, without preliminary: "Oh! Beloved, thou canst not imagine what has happened to me—" etc. Still he had come. He had cut her short, but he had left whatever he was doing and had, amazingly, walked over at once. And in the meantime she had hurriedly undressed and put on a new peignoir and slipped into bed. Of course she had had to open the door herself.
She obeyed his command like an intelligent little mouse, and he sat down on the edge of the bed. He might inspire foreboding, alarm, even terror. But he was in the flat. He was the saviour9, man, in the flat. And his coming was in the nature of a miracle. He might have been out; he might have been entertaining; he might have been engaged; he might well have said that he could not come until the next day. Never before had she made such a request, and he had acceded10 to it immediately! Her mood was one of frightened triumph. He was being most damnably himself; his demeanour was as faultless as his dress. She could not even complain that he had forgotten to kiss her. He said nothing about her transgression11 of the rule as to telephoning. He was waiting, with his exasperating12 sense of justice and self-control, until she had acquainted him with her case. Instead of referring coldly and disapprovingly13 to the matter of the telephone, he said in a judicious14, amicable15 voice:
"I doubt whether your coiffeur is all that he ought to be. I see you had your hair waved to-day."
"Yes, why?"
"You should tell the fellow to give you the new method of hair-waving, steaming with electric heaters—or else go where you can get it."
"New method?" repeated Christine the Tory doubtfully. And then with sudden sexual suspicion:
"Who told you about it?"
"Oh! I heard of it months ago," he said carelessly. "Besides, it's in the papers, in the advertisements. It lasts longer—much longer—and it's more artistic16."
She felt sure that he had been discussing hair-waving with some woman. She thought of all her grievances18 against him. The Lechford House episode rankled19 in her mind. He had given her the details, but she said to herself that he had given her the details only because he had foreseen that she would hear about the case from others or read about it in the newspapers. She had not been able to stomach that he should be at Lechford House alone late at night with two women of the class she hated and feared—and the very night of her dreadful experience with him in the bomb-explosion! No explanations could make that seem proper or fair. Naturally she had never disclosed her feelings. Further, the frequenting of such a house as Lechford House was more proof of his social importance, and incidentally of his riches. The spectacle of his flat showed her long ago that previously20 she had been underestimating his situation in the world. The revelations as to Lechford House had seemed to show her that she was still underestimating it. She resented his modesty21. She was inclined to attribute his modesty to a desire to pay her as little as he reasonably could. However, she could not in sincerity22 do so. He treated her handsomely, considering her pretensions23, but considering his position—he had no pretensions—not handsomely. She had had an irrational24 idea that, having permitted her to see the splendour of his flat, he ought to have increased her emoluments—that, indeed, she should be paid not according to her original environment, but according to his. She also resented that he had never again asked her to his flat. Her behaviour on that sole visit had apparently25 decided26 him not to invite her any more. She resented his perfectly27 hidden resentment28.
What disturbed her more than anything else was a notion in her mind, possibly a wrong notion, that she cared for him less madly than of old. She had always said to herself, and more than once sadly to him, that his fancy for her would not and could not last; but that hers for him should decline puzzled her and added to her grievances against him. She looked at him from the little nest made by her head between two pillows. Did she in truth care for him less madly than of old? She wondered. She had only one gauge29, the physical.
She began to talk despairingly about Marthe, whom, of course, she had had to mention at the door. He said quietly:
"But it's not because of Marthe's caprices that I'm asked to come down to-night, I suppose?"
She told him about the closing of the Promenade30 in a tone of absolute, resigned certainty that admitted of no facile pooh-poohings or reassurances31. And then, glancing sidelong at the night-table, where the lamp burned, she extended her half-bared arm and picked up the landlord's notice and gave it to him to read. Watching him read it she inwardly trembled, as though she had started on some perilous32 enterprise the end of which might be black desperation, as though she had cast off from the shore and was afloat amid the waves of a vast, swollen33 river—waves that often hid the distant further bank. She felt somehow that she was playing for all or nothing. And though she had had immense experience of men, though it was her special business to handle men, she felt herself to be unskilled and incompetent34. The common ruses35, feints, devices, guiles, chicaneries37 were familiar to her; she could employ them as well as any and better than most; they succeeded marvellously and absurdly—in the common embarrassments38 and emergencies, because they had not to stand the test of time. Their purpose was temporary, and when the purpose had been accomplished40 it did not matter whether they were unmasked or not, for the adversary-victim—who, in any event, was better treated than he deserved!—either had gone for ever, or would soon forget, or was too proud to murmur41, or philosophically42 accepted a certain amount of wile43 as part of the price of ecstasy44. But this embarrassment39 and this emergency were not common. They were a supreme45 crisis.
"The other lady has had notice too," she said, and went on: "It's the same everywhere in this quarter. I know not if it is the same in other districts, but quite probably it is.... It is the end."
She saw by the lifting of his eyebrows46 that he was impressed, that he secretly admitted the justifiability47 of her summons to him. And instantly she took a reasonable, wise, calm tone.
"It is a little serious, is it not? I do not frighten myself, but it is serious. Above all, I do not wish to trouble thee. I know all thy anxieties, and I am a woman who understands. But except thee I have not a friend, as I have often told thee. In my heart there is a place only for one. I have a horror of all those women. They weary me. I am not like them, as thou well knowest. Thus my existence is solitary48. I have no relations. Not one. See! Go into no matter what interior, and there are photographs. But here—not one. Yes, one. My own. I am forced to regard my own portrait. What would I not give to be able to put on my chimney-piece thy portrait! But I cannot. Do not deceive thyself. I am not complaining. I comprehend perfectly. It is impossible that a woman like me should have thy photograph on her chimney-piece." She smiled, smoothing for a moment the pucker49 out of her brow. "And lately I see thee so little. Thou comest less frequently. And when thou comest, well—one embraces—a little music—and then pouf! Thou art gone. Is it not so?"
He said:
"But thou knowest the reason, I am terribly busy. I have all the preoccupations in the world. My committee—it is not all smooth, my committee. Everything and everybody depends on me. And in the committee I have enemies too. The fact is, I have become a beast of burden. I dream about it. And there are others in worse case. We shall soon be in the third year of the war. We must not forget that."
"My little rabbit," she replied very calmly and reasonably and caressingly50. "Do not imagine to thyself that I blame thee. I do not blame thee. I comprehend too well all that thou dost, all that thou art worth. In every way thou art stronger than me. I am ten times nothing. I know it. I have no grievance17 against thee. Thou hast always given me what thou couldst, and I on my part have never demanded too much. Say, have I been excessive? At this hour I make no claim on thee. I have done all that to me was possible to make thee happy. In my soul I have always been faithful to thee. I do not praise myself for that. I did not choose it. These things are not chosen. They come to pass—that is all. And it arrived that I was bound to go mad about thee, and to remain so. What wouldst thou? Speak not of the war. Is it not because of the war that I am in exile, and that I am ruined? I have always worked honestly for my living. And there is not on earth an officer who has encountered me who can say that I have not been particularly nice to him—because he was an officer. Thou wilt51 excuse me if I speak of such matters. I know I am wrong. It is contrary to my habit. But what wouldst thou? I also have done what I could for the war. But it is my ruin. Oh, my Gilbert! Tell me what I must do. I ask nothing from thee but advice. It was for that that I dared to telephone thee."
"I see nothing to worry about. It will be necessary to take another flat. That is all."
"But I—I know nothing of London. One tells me that it is in future impossible for women who live alone—like me—to find a flat—that is to say, respectable."
"But will they let it to me?"
"They will let it to me, I suppose," said he, still casually.
A pause ensued.
She said, in a voice trembling:
"Thou art not going to say to me that thou wilt put me among my own furniture?"
"The flat is furnished. But it is the same thing."
"Do not let such a hope shine before me—me who saw before me only the pavement. Thou art not serious."
"I never was more serious. For whom dost thou take me, little-foolish one?"
She cried:
"Oh, you English! You are chic36. You make love as you go to war. Like that!... One word—it is decided! And there is nothing more to say! Ah! You English!"
She had almost screamed, shuddering54 under the shock of his decision, for which she had impossibly hoped, but whose reality overwhelmed her. He sat there in front of her, elegant, impeccably dressed, distinguished55, aristocratic, rich, in the full wisdom of his years, and in the strength of his dominating will, and in the righteousness of his heart. One could absolutely trust such as him to do the right thing, and to do it generously, and to do it all the time. And she, she had won him. He had recognised her qualities. She had denied any claim upon him, but by his decision he had admitted a claim—a claim that no money could satisfy. After all, for eighteen months she had been more to him than any other woman. He had talked freely to her. He had concealed56 naught57 from her. He had spoken to her of his discouragements and his weaknesses. He had had no shame before her. By her acquiescences, her skill, her warmth, her adaptability58, her intense womanliness, she had created between them a bond stronger than anything that could keep them apart. The bond existed. It could not during the whole future be broken save by a disloyalty. A disloyalty, she divined, would irrevocably destroy it. But she had no fear on that score, for she knew her own nature. His decision did more than fill her with a dizzy sense of relief, a mad, intolerable happiness—it re-established her self-respect. No ordinary woman, handicapped as she was, could have captured this fastidious and shy paragon59 ... And the notion that her passion for him had dwindled60 was utterly61 ridiculous, like the notion that he would tire of her. She was saved. She burst into wild tears.
"Ah! Pardon me!" she sobbed62. "I am quite calm, really. But since the air-raid, thou knowest, I have not been quite the same ... Thou! Thou art different. Nothing could disturb thy calm. Ah! If thou wert a general at the front! What sang-froid! What presence of mind! But I—"
He bent63 towards her, and she suddenly sprang up and seized him round the neck, and ate his lips, and while she strangled and consumed him she kept muttering to him:
"Hope not that I shall thank thee. I cannot. I cannot! The words with which I could thank thee do not exist. But I am thine, thine! All of me is thine. Humiliate64 me! Demand of me impossible things! I am thy slave, thy creature! Ah! Let me kiss thy beautiful grey hairs. I love thy hair. And thy ears ..."
The thought of her insatiable temperament65 flashed through her as she held him, and of his northern sobriety, and of the profound, unchangeable difference between these two. She would discipline her temperament; she would subjugate66 it. Women were capable of miracles—and women alone. And she was capable of miracles.
A strange, muffled67 noise came to them across the darkness of the sitting-room, and G.J. raised his head slightly to listen.
"Repose68! Repose thyself in the arms of thy little mother," she breathed softly. "It is nothing. It is but the wind blowing the blind against the curtains."
"And where is it, this flat?"
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1
sitting-room
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| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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courteous
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| adj.彬彬有礼的，客气的 | |
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persuasion
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| n.劝说；说服；持有某种信仰的宗派 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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disquiet
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| n.担心，焦虑 | |
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passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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saviour
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| n.拯救者，救星 | |
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10
acceded
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| v.（正式）加入( accede的过去式和过去分词 )；答应；（通过财产的添附而）增加；开始任职 | |
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transgression
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| n.违背；犯规；罪过 | |
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12
exasperating
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| adj. 激怒的 动词exasperate的现在分词形式 | |
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disapprovingly
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| adv.不以为然地，不赞成地，非难地 | |
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judicious
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| adj.明智的，明断的，能作出明智决定的 | |
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amicable
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| adj.和平的，友好的；友善的 | |
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artistic
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| adj.艺术(家)的，美术(家)的；善于艺术创作的 | |
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grievance
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| n.怨愤，气恼，委屈 | |
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grievances
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| n.委屈( grievance的名词复数 )；苦衷；不满；牢骚 | |
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rankled
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| v.（使）痛苦不已，（使）怨恨不已( rankle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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modesty
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| n.谦逊，虚心，端庄，稳重，羞怯，朴素 | |
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sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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pretensions
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| 自称( pretension的名词复数 )； 自命不凡； 要求； 权力 | |
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irrational
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| adj.无理性的，失去理性的 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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gauge
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| v.精确计量；估计；n.标准度量；计量器 | |
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promenade
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| n./v.散步 | |
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reassurances
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| n.消除恐惧或疑虑( reassurance的名词复数 )；恢复信心；使人消除恐惧或疑虑的事物；使人恢复信心的事物 | |
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perilous
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| adj.危险的，冒险的 | |
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swollen
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| adj.肿大的，水涨的；v.使变大，肿胀 | |
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incompetent
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| adj.无能力的，不能胜任的 | |
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ruses
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| n.诡计，计策( ruse的名词复数 ) | |
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chic
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| n./adj.别致(的)，时髦(的)，讲究的 | |
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chicaneries
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| n.耍花招哄骗别人（尤指于法律事务中）( chicanery的名词复数 )；不诚实的行为；欺骗 | |
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38
embarrassments
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| n.尴尬( embarrassment的名词复数 )；难堪；局促不安；令人难堪或耻辱的事 | |
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embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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philosophically
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| adv.哲学上；富有哲理性地；贤明地；冷静地 | |
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43
wile
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| v.诡计，引诱；n.欺骗，欺诈 | |
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ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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45
supreme
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| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
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46
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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justifiability
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| n.合理，可辩解 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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49
pucker
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| v.撅起，使起皱；n.（衣服上的）皱纹，褶子 | |
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50
caressingly
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| 爱抚地，亲切地 | |
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51
wilt
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| v.(使)植物凋谢或枯萎；(指人)疲倦，衰弱 | |
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52
casually
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| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
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53
precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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54
shuddering
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| v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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55
distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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56
concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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naught
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| n.无，零 [=nought] | |
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adaptability
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| n.适应性 | |
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paragon
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| n.模范，典型 | |
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dwindled
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| v.逐渐变少或变小( dwindle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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humiliate
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| v.使羞辱，使丢脸[同]disgrace | |
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temperament
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| n.气质，性格，性情 | |
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subjugate
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| v.征服；抑制 | |
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67
muffled
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| adj.（声音）被隔的；听不太清的；（衣服）裹严的；蒙住的v.压抑，捂住( muffle的过去式和过去分词 )；用厚厚的衣帽包着（自己） | |
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68
repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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69
distilled
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| adj.由蒸馏得来的v.蒸馏( distil的过去式和过去分词 )；从…提取精华 | |
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