THE SAILOR.

 He does suffer so with his trousers. He has to stop and pull them up about twice every minute.

 

One of these days, if he is not careful, there will be an accident happen to those trousers.

 

If the stage sailor will follow our advice, he will be warned in time and will get a pair of braces¹.

 

Sailors in real life do not have nearly so much trouble with their trousers as sailors on the stage do. Why is this? We have seen a good deal of sailors in real life, but on only one occasion, that we can remember, did we ever see a real sailor pull his trousers up.

 

And then he did not do it a bit like they do it on the stage.

 

The stage sailor places his right hand behind him and his left in front, leaps up into the air, kicks out his leg behind in a gay and bird-like way, and the thing is done.

 

The real sailor that we saw began by saying a bad word. Then he leaned up against a brick wall and undid² his belt, pulled up his "bags" as he stood there (he never attempted to leap up into the air), tucked in his jersey³, shook his legs, and walked on.

 

It was a most unpicturesque performance to watch.

 

The thing that the stage sailor most craves⁴ in this life is that somebody should shiver his timbers.

 

"Shiver my timbers!" is the request he makes to every one he meets. But nobody ever does it.

 

His chief desire with regard to the other people in the play is that they should "belay there, avast!" We do not know how this is done; but the stage sailor is a good and kindly⁵ man, and we feel convinced he would not recommend the exercise if it were not conducive⁶ to piety⁷ and health.

 

The stage sailor is good to his mother and dances the hornpipe beautifully. We have never found a real sailor who could dance a hornpipe, though we have made extensive inquiries⁸ throughout the profession. We were introduced to a ship's steward⁹ who offered to do us a cellar-flap for a pot of four-half, but that was not what we wanted.

 

The stage sailor is gay and rollicking: the real sailors we have met have been, some of them, the most worthy¹⁰ and single-minded of men, but they have appeared sedate¹¹ rather than gay, and they haven't rollicked much.

 

The stage sailor seems to have an easy time of it when at sea. The hardest work we have ever seen him do then has been folding up a rope or dusting the sides of the ship.

 

But it is only in his very busy moments that he has to work to this extent; most of his time is occupied in chatting with the captain.

 

By the way, speaking of the sea, few things are more remarkable¹² in their behavior than a stage sea. It must be difficult to navigate¹³ in a stage sea, the currents are so confusing.

 

As for the waves, there is no knowing how to steer¹⁴ for them; they are so tricky¹⁵. At one moment they are all on the larboard, the sea on the other side of the vessel¹⁶ being perfectly¹⁷ calm, and the next instant they have crossed over and are all on the starboard, and before the captain can think how to meet this new dodge¹⁸, the whole ocean has slid round and got itself into a heap at the back of him.

 

Seamanship is useless against such very unprofessional conduct as this, and the vessel is wrecked²⁰.

 

A wreck¹⁹ at (stage) sea is a truly awful sight. The thunder and lightning never leave off for an instant; the crew run round and round the mast and scream; the heroine, carrying the stage child in her arms and with her back hair down, rushes about and gets in everybody's way. The comic man alone is calm!

 

The next instant the bulwarks²¹ fall down flat on the deck and the mast goes straight up into the sky and disappears, then the water reaches the powder magazine and there is a terrific explosion.

 

This is followed by a sound as of linen²² sheets being ripped up, and the passengers and crew hurry downstairs into the cabin, evidently with the idea of getting out of the way of the sea, which has climbed up and is now level with the deck.

 

The next moment the vessel separates in the middle and goes off R. and L., so as to make room for a small boat containing the heroine, the child, the comic man, and one sailor.

 

The way small boats are managed at (stage) sea is even more wonderful than the way in which ships are sailed.

 

To begin with, everybody sits sideways along the middle of the boat, all facing the starboard. They do not attempt to row. One man does all the work with one scull. This scull he puts down through the water till it touches the bed of the ocean, and then he shoves.

 

"Deep-sea punting" would be the technical term for the method, we presume.

 

In this way do they toil—or rather, to speak correctly, does the one man toil—through the awful night, until with joy they see before them the light-house rocks.

 

The light-house keeper comes out with a lantern. The boat is run in among the breakers and all are saved.

 

And then the band plays.

该作者的其它作品

《同病相怜 Three Men in a Boat》
《懒人闲思录 The Idle Thoughts of An Idle Fellow》
《Idle Ideas in 1905》

1 braces   

n.吊带，背带；托架( brace的名词复数 )；箍子；括弧；（儿童）牙箍v.支住( brace的第三人称单数 )；撑牢；使自己站稳；振作起来

参考例句：

• The table is shaky because the braces are loose. 这张桌子摇摇晃晃，因为支架全松了。
• You don't need braces if you're wearing a belt! 要系腰带，就用不着吊带了。

2 Undid   

v. 解开, 复原

参考例句：

• The officer undid the flap of his holster and drew his gun. 军官打开枪套盖拔出了手枪。
• He did wrong, and in the end his wrongs undid him. 行恶者终以其恶毁其身。

3 jersey   

n.运动衫

参考例句：

• He wears a cotton jersey when he plays football.他穿运动衫踢足球。
• They were dressed alike in blue jersey and knickers.他们穿着一致，都是蓝色的运动衫和灯笼短裤。

4 craves   

渴望，热望( crave的第三人称单数 )； 恳求，请求

参考例句：

• The tree craves calm but the wind will not drop. 树欲静而风不止。
• Victory would give him a passport to the riches he craves. 胜利将使他有机会获得自己梦寐以求的财富。

5 kindly   

adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地

参考例句：

• Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。
• A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。

6 conducive   

adj.有益的，有助的

参考例句：

• This is a more conducive atmosphere for studying.这样的氛围更有利于学习。
• Exercise is conducive to good health.体育锻炼有助于增强体质。

7 piety   

n.虔诚，虔敬

参考例句：

• They were drawn to the church not by piety but by curiosity.他们去教堂不是出于虔诚而是出于好奇。
• Experience makes us see an enormous difference between piety and goodness.经验使我们看到虔诚与善意之间有着巨大的区别。

8 inquiries   

n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 )；疑问；探究；打听

参考例句：

• He was released on bail pending further inquiries. 他获得保释，等候进一步调查。
• I have failed to reach them by postal inquiries. 我未能通过邮政查询与他们取得联系。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

9 steward   

n.乘务员，服务员；看管人；膳食管理员

参考例句：

• He's the steward of the club.他是这家俱乐部的管理员。
• He went around the world as a ship's steward.他当客船服务员，到过世界各地。

10 worthy   

adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的

参考例句：

• I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
• There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。

11 sedate   

adj.沉着的，镇静的，安静的

参考例句：

• After the accident,the doctor gave her some pills to sedate her.事故发生后，医生让她服了些药片使她镇静下来。
• We spent a sedate evening at home.我们在家里过了一个恬静的夜晚。

12 remarkable   

adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的

参考例句：

• She has made remarkable headway in her writing skills.她在写作技巧方面有了长足进步。
• These cars are remarkable for the quietness of their engines.这些汽车因发动机没有噪音而不同凡响。

13 navigate   

v.航行，飞行；导航，领航

参考例句：

• He was the first man to navigate the Atlantic by air.他是第一个飞越大西洋的人。
• Such boats can navigate on the Nile.这种船可以在尼罗河上航行。

14 steer   

vt.驾驶，为…操舵；引导；vi.驾驶

参考例句：

• If you push the car, I'll steer it.如果你来推车，我就来驾车。
• It's no use trying to steer the boy into a course of action that suits you.想说服这孩子按你的方式行事是徒劳的。

15 tricky   

adj.狡猾的，奸诈的；(工作等)棘手的，微妙的

参考例句：

• I'm in a rather tricky position.Can you help me out?我的处境很棘手，你能帮我吗？
• He avoided this tricky question and talked in generalities.他回避了这个非常微妙的问题，只做了个笼统的表述。

16 vessel   

n.船舶；容器，器皿；管，导管，血管

参考例句：

• The vessel is fully loaded with cargo for Shanghai.这艘船满载货物驶往上海。
• You should put the water into a vessel.你应该把水装入容器中。

17 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

18 dodge   

v.闪开，躲开，避开；n.妙计，诡计

参考例句：

• A dodge behind a tree kept her from being run over.她向树后一闪，才没被车从身上辗过。
• The dodge was coopered by the police.诡计被警察粉碎了。

19 wreck   

n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难

参考例句：

• Weather may have been a factor in the wreck.天气可能是造成这次失事的原因之一。
• No one can wreck the friendship between us.没有人能够破坏我们之间的友谊。

20 wrecked   

adj.失事的，遇难的

参考例句：

• the hulk of a wrecked ship 遇难轮船的残骸
• the salvage of the wrecked tanker 对失事油轮的打捞

21 bulwarks   

n.堡垒( bulwark的名词复数 )；保障；支柱；舷墙

参考例句：

• The freedom of the press is one of the great bulwarks of liberty. 新闻自由是自由最大的保障之一。 来自辞典例句
• Surgery and X-irradiation nevertheless remain the bulwarks of cancer treatment throughout the world. 外科手术和X射线疗法依然是全世界治疗癌症的主要方法。 来自辞典例句

22 linen   

n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的

参考例句：

• The worker is starching the linen.这名工人正在给亚麻布上浆。
• Fine linen and cotton fabrics were known as well as wool.精细的亚麻织品和棉织品像羊毛一样闻名遐迩。