"No, don't stop me, Pinchas," said Gabriel Hamburg. "I'm packing up, and I shall spend my Passover in Stockholm. The Chief Rabbi there has discovered a manuscript which I am anxious to see, and as I have saved up a little money I shall speed thither1."
"Ah, he pays well, that boy-fool, Raphael Leon," said Pinchas, emitting a lazy ring of smoke.
"What do you mean?" cried Gabriel, flushing angrily. "Do you mean, perhaps, that _you_ have been getting money out of him?"
"Well, don't let me hear you call him a fool. He _is_ one to send you money, but then it is for others to call him so. That boy will be a great man in Israel. The son of rich English Jews--a Harrow-boy, yet he already writes Hebrew almost grammatically."
Pinchas was aware of this fact: had he not written to the lad (in response to a crude Hebrew eulogium and a crisp Bank of England note): "I and thou are the only two people in England who write the Holy Tongue grammatically."
He replied now: "It is true; soon he will vie with me and you."
"Good-bye," he said again.
"No, wait, yet a little," said Pinchas, buttonholing him resolutely5. "I want to show you my acrostic on Simon Wolf; ah! I will shoot him, the miserable6 labor-leader, the wretch7 who embezzles8 the money of the Socialist9 fools who trust him. Aha! it will sting like Juvenal, that acrostic."
"I haven't time," said the gentle savant, beginning to lose his temper.
"Well, have I time? I have to compose a three-act comedy by to-morrow at noon. I expect I shall have to sit up all night to get it done in time." Then, anxious to complete the conciliation10 of the old snuff-and-pepper-box, as he mentally christened him for his next acrostic, he added: "If there is anything in this manuscript that you cannot decipher or understand, a letter to me, care of Reb Shemuel, will always find me. Somehow I have a special genius for filling up _lacunae_ in manuscripts. You remember the famous discovery that I made by rewriting the six lines torn out of the first page of that Midrash I discovered in Cyprus."
"Aha! You see!" said the poet, a gratified smile pervading12 his dusky features. "But I must tell you of this comedy--it will be a satirical picture (in the style of Moliere, only sharper) of Anglo-Jewish Society. The Rev13. Elkan Benjamin, with his four mistresses, they will all be there, and Gideon, the Man-of-the-Earth, M.P.,--ah, it will be terrible. If I could only get them to see it performed, they should have free passes."
"No, shoot them first; it would be more merciful. But where is this comedy to be played?" asked Hamburg curiously14.
"At the Jargon15 Theatre, the great theatre in Prince's Street, the only real national theatre in England. The English stage--Drury Lane--pooh! It is not in harmony with the people; it does not express them."
Hamburg could not help smiling. He knew the wretched little hall, since tragically16 famous for a massacre17 of innocents, victims to the fatal cry of fire--more deadly than fiercest flame.
"But how will your audience understand it?" he asked.
"Aha!" said the poet, laying his finger on his nose and grinning. "They will understand. They know the corruptions18 of our society. All this conspiracy19 to crush me, to hound me out of England so that ignoramuses may prosper20 and hypocrites wax fat--do you think it is not the talk of the Ghetto21? What! Shall it be the talk of Berlin, of Constantinople, of Mogadore, of Jerusalem, of Paris, and here it shall not be known? Besides, the leading actress will speak a prologue22. Ah! she is beautiful, beautiful as Lilith, as the Queen of Sheba, as Cleopatra! And how she acts! She and Rachel--both Jewesses! Think of it! Ah, we are a great people. If I could tell you the secrets of her eyes as she looks at me--but no, you are dry as dust, a creature of prose! And there will be an orchestra, too, for Pesach Weingott has promised to play the overture23 on his fiddle24. How he stirs the soul! It is like David playing before Saul."
"Yes, but it won't be javelins25 the people will throw," murmured Hamburg, adding aloud: "I suppose you have written the music of this overture."
"No, I cannot write music," said Pinchas.
"Good heavens! You don't say so?" gasped26 Gabriel Hamburg. "Let that be my last recollection of you! No! Don't say another word! Don't spoil it! Good-bye." And he tore himself away, leaving the poet bewildered.
"Mad! Mad!" said Pinchas, tapping his brow significantly; "mad, the old snuff-and-pepper-box." He smiled at the recollection of his latest phrase. "These scholars stagnate27 so. They see not enough of the women. Ha! I will go and see my actress."
He threw out his chest, puffed28 out a volume of smoke, and took his way to Petticoat Lane. The compatriot of Rachel was wrapping up a scrag of mutton. She was a butcher's daughter and did not even wield29 the chopper, as Mrs. Siddons is reputed to have flourished the domestic table-knife. She was a simple, amiable30 girl, who had stepped into the position of lead in the stock jargon company as a way of eking31 out her pocket-money, and because there was no one else who wanted the post. She was rather plain except when be-rouged and be-pencilled. The company included several tailors and tailoresses of talent, and the low comedian32 was a Dutchman who sold herrings. They all had the gift of improvisation33 more developed than memory, and consequently availed themselves of the faculty34 that worked easier. The repertory was written by goodness knew whom, and was very extensive. It embraced all the species enumerated35 by Polonius, including comic opera, which was not known to the Danish saw-monger. There was nothing the company would not have undertaken to play or have come out of with a fair measure of success. Some of the plays were on Biblical subjects, but only a minority. There were also plays in rhyme, though Yiddish knows not blank verse. Melchitsedek accosted36 his interpretess and made sheep's-eyes at her. But an actress who serves in a butcher's shop is doubly accustomed to such, and being busy the girl paid no attention to the poet, though the poet was paying marked attention to her.
"Kiss me, thou beauteous one, the gems37 of whose crown are foot-lights," said the poet, when the custom ebbed38 for a moment.
"If thou comest near me," said the actress whirling the chopper, "I'll chop thy ugly little head off."
"Unless thou lendest me thy lips thou shalt not play in my comedy," said Pinchas angrily.
"_My_ trouble!" said the leading lady, shrugging her shoulders.
Pinchas made several reappearances outside the open shop, with his insinuative finger on his nose and his insinuative smile on his face, but in the end went away with a flea39 in his ear and hunted up the actor-manager, the only person who made any money, to speak of, out of the performances. That gentleman had not yet consented to produce the play that Pinchas had ready in manuscript and which had been coveted40 by all the great theatres in the world, but which he, Pinchas, had reserved for the use of the only actor in Europe. The result of this interview was that the actor-manager yielded to Pinchas's solicitations, backed by frequent applications of poetic41 finger to poetic nose.
"But," said the actor-manager, with a sudden recollection, "how about the besom?"
"The besom!" repeated Pinchas, nonplussed42 for once.
"Yes, thou sayest thou hast seen all the plays I have produced. Hast thou not noticed that I have a besom in all my plays?"
"Aha! Yes, I remember," said Pinchas.
"An old garden-besom it is," said the actor-manager. "And it is the cause of all my luck." He took up a house-broom that stood in the corner. "In comedy I sweep the floor with it--so--and the people grin; in comic-opera I beat time with it as I sing--so--and the people laugh; in farce43 I beat my mother-in-law with it--so--and the people roar; in tragedy I lean upon it--so--and the people thrill; in melodrama44 I sweep away the snow with it--so--and the people burst into tears. Usually I have my plays written beforehand and the authors are aware of the besom. Dost thou think," he concluded doubtfully, "that thou hast sufficient ingenuity45 to work in the besom now that the play is written?"
Pinchas put his finger to his nose and smiled reassuringly46.
"It shall be all besom," he said.
"Will to-morrow this time suit thee?"
"As honey a bear."
"Good, then!" said Pinchas; "I shall not fail."
The door closed upon him. In another moment it reopened a bit and he thrust his grinning face through the aperture48.
"Ten per cent. of the receipts!" he said with his cajoling digito-nasal gesture.
"Certainly," rejoined the actor-manager briskly. "After paying the expenses--ten per cent. of the receipts."
"Thou wilt not forget?"
"I shall not forget."
Pinchas strode forth49 into the street and lit a new cigar in his exultation50. How lucky the play was not yet written! Now he would be able to make it all turn round the axis51 of the besom. "It shall be all besom!" His own phrase rang in his ears like voluptuous52 marriage bells. Yes, it should, indeed, be all besom. With that besom he would sweep all his enemies--all the foul53 conspirators--in one clean sweep, down, down to Sheol. He would sweep them along the floor with it--so--and grin; he would beat time to their yells of agony--so--and laugh; he would beat them over the heads--so--and roar; he would lean upon it in statuesque greatness--so--and thrill; he would sweep away their remains54 with it--so--and weep for joy of countermining and quelling55 the long persecution56.
All night he wrote the play at railway speed, like a night express--puffing out volumes of smoke as he panted along. "I dip my pen in their blood," he said from time to time, and threw back his head and laughed aloud in the silence of the small hours.
Pinchas had a good deal to do to explain the next day to the actor-manager where the fun came in. "Thou dost not grasp all the allusions57, the back-handed slaps, the hidden poniards; perhaps not," the author acknowledged. "But the great heart of the people--it will understand."
The actor-manager was unconvinced, but he admitted there was a good deal of besom, and in consideration of the poet bating his terms to five per cent. of the receipts he agreed to give it a chance. The piece was billed widely in several streets under the title of "The Hornet of Judah," and the name of Melchitsedek Pinchas appeared in letters of the size stipulated58 by the finger on the nose.
But the leading actress threw up her part at the last moment, disgusted by the poet's amorous59 advances; Pinchas volunteered to play the part himself and, although his offer was rejected, he attired60 himself in skirts and streaked61 his complexion62 with red and white to replace the promoted second actress, and shaved off his beard.
But in spite of this heroic sacrifice, the gods were unpropitious. They chaffed the poet in polished Yiddish throughout the first two acts. There was only a sprinkling of audience (most of it paper) in the dimly-lit hall, for the fame of the great writer had not spread from Berlin, Mogadore, Constantinople and the rest of the universe.
No one could make head or tail of the piece with its incessant63 play of occult satire64 against clergymen with four mistresses, Rabbis who sold their daughters, stockbrokers65 ignorant of Hebrew and destitute66 of English, greengrocers blowing Messianic and their own trumpets67, labor-leaders embezzling68 funds, and the like. In vain the actor-manager swept the floor with the besom, beat time with the besom, beat his mother-in-law with the besom, leaned on the besom, swept bits of white paper with the besom. The hall, empty of its usual crowd, was fuller of derisive69 laughter. At last the spectators tired of laughter and the rafters re-echoed with hoots70. At the end of the second act, Melchitsedek Pinchas addressed the audience from the stage, in his ample petticoats, his brow streaming with paint and perspiration71. He spoke72 of the great English conspiracy and expressed his grief and astonishment73 at finding it had infected the entire Ghetto.
There was no third act. It was the poet's first--and last--appearance on any stage.
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1
thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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naively
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| adv. 天真地 | |
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pall
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| v.覆盖，使平淡无味；n.柩衣，棺罩；棺材；帷幕 | |
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resolutely
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| adj.坚决地，果断地 | |
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6
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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wretch
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| n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人 | |
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embezzles
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| v.贪污，盗用（公款）( embezzle的第三人称单数 ) | |
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socialist
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| n.社会主义者；adj.社会主义的 | |
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10
conciliation
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| n.调解，调停 | |
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sneered
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| 讥笑，冷笑( sneer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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12
pervading
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| v.遍及，弥漫( pervade的现在分词 ) | |
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13
rev
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| v.发动机旋转，加快速度 | |
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14
curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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15
jargon
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| n.术语，行话 | |
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tragically
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| adv. 悲剧地，悲惨地 | |
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17
massacre
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| n.残杀，大屠杀；v.残杀，集体屠杀 | |
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18
corruptions
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| n.堕落( corruption的名词复数 )；腐化；腐败；贿赂 | |
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conspiracy
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| n.阴谋，密谋，共谋 | |
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prosper
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| v.成功，兴隆，昌盛；使成功，使昌隆，繁荣 | |
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21
ghetto
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| n.少数民族聚居区，贫民区 | |
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22
prologue
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| n.开场白，序言；开端，序幕 | |
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23
overture
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| n.前奏曲、序曲，提议，提案，初步交涉 | |
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24
fiddle
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| n.小提琴；vi.拉提琴；不停拨弄，乱动 | |
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25
javelins
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| n.标枪( javelin的名词复数 ) | |
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26
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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27
stagnate
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| v.停止 | |
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28
puffed
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| adj.疏松的v.使喷出( puff的过去式和过去分词 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧 | |
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29
wield
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| vt.行使，运用，支配；挥，使用(武器等) | |
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30
amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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31
eking
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| v.（靠节省用量）使…的供应持久( eke的现在分词 )；节约使用；竭力维持生计；勉强度日 | |
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32
comedian
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| n.喜剧演员；滑稽演员 | |
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improvisation
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| n.即席演奏(或演唱)；即兴创作 | |
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34
faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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35
enumerated
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| v.列举，枚举，数( enumerate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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36
accosted
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| v.走过去跟…讲话( accost的过去式和过去分词 )；跟…搭讪；（乞丐等）上前向…乞讨；（妓女等）勾搭 | |
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37
gems
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| growth； economy； management； and customer satisfaction 增长 | |
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38
ebbed
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| （指潮水）退( ebb的过去式和过去分词 )； 落； 减少； 衰落 | |
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39
flea
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| n.跳蚤 | |
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40
coveted
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| adj.令人垂涎的；垂涎的，梦寐以求的v.贪求，觊觎(covet的过去分词)；垂涎；贪图 | |
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41
poetic
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| adj.富有诗意的，有诗人气质的，善于抒情的 | |
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42
nonplussed
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| adj.不知所措的，陷于窘境的v.使迷惑( nonplus的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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43
farce
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| n.闹剧，笑剧，滑稽戏；胡闹 | |
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44
melodrama
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| n.音乐剧；情节剧 | |
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45
ingenuity
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| n.别出心裁；善于发明创造 | |
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46
reassuringly
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| ad.安心，可靠 | |
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47
wilt
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| v.(使)植物凋谢或枯萎；(指人)疲倦，衰弱 | |
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48
aperture
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| n.孔，隙，窄的缺口 | |
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49
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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50
exultation
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| n.狂喜，得意 | |
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51
axis
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| n.轴，轴线，中心线；坐标轴，基准线 | |
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52
voluptuous
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| adj.肉欲的，骄奢淫逸的 | |
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53
foul
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| adj.污秽的；邪恶的；v.弄脏；妨害；犯规；n.犯规 | |
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54
remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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55
quelling
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| v.（用武力）制止，结束，镇压( quell的现在分词 ) | |
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56
persecution
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| n. 迫害,烦扰 | |
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57
allusions
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| 暗指，间接提到( allusion的名词复数 ) | |
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58
stipulated
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| vt.& vi.规定；约定adj.[法]合同规定的 | |
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59
amorous
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| adj.多情的；有关爱情的 | |
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60
attired
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| adj.穿着整齐的v.使穿上衣服，使穿上盛装( attire的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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61
streaked
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| adj.有条斑纹的，不安的v.快速移动( streak的过去式和过去分词 )；使布满条纹 | |
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62
complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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63
incessant
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| adj.不停的，连续的 | |
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64
satire
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| n.讽刺，讽刺文学，讽刺作品 | |
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65
stockbrokers
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| n.股票经纪人( stockbroker的名词复数 ) | |
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66
destitute
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| adj.缺乏的；穷困的 | |
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67
trumpets
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| 喇叭( trumpet的名词复数 )； 小号； 喇叭形物； （尤指）绽开的水仙花 | |
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68
embezzling
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| v.贪污，盗用（公款）( embezzle的现在分词 ) | |
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69
derisive
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| adj.嘲弄的 | |
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70
hoots
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| 咄，啐 | |
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71
perspiration
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| n.汗水；出汗 | |
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72
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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73
astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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