The next morning Esther sat in Mrs. Henry Goldsmith's boudoir, filling up some invitation forms for her patroness, who often took advantage of her literary talent in this fashion. Mrs. Goldsmith herself lay back languidly upon a great easy-chair before an asbestos fire and turned over the leaves of the new number of the _Acadaeum_. Suddenly she uttered a little exclamation1.
"What is it?" said Esther.
"They've got a review here of that Jewish novel."
"Have they?" said Esther, glancing up eagerly. "I'd given up looking for it."
"You seem very interested in it," said Mrs. Goldsmith, with a little surprise.
"Yes, I--I wanted to know what they said about it," explained Esther quickly; "one hears so many worthless opinions."
"Well, I'm glad to see we were all right about it," said Mrs. Goldsmith, whose eye had been running down the column. "Listen here. 'It is a disagreeable book at best; what might have been a powerful tragedy being disfigured by clumsy workmanship and sordid2 superfluous3 detail. The exaggerated unhealthy pessimism4, which the very young mistake for insight, pervades5 the work and there are some spiteful touches of observation which seem to point to a woman's hand. Some of the minor6 personages have the air of being sketched7 from life. The novel can scarcely be acceptable to the writer's circle. Readers, however, in search of the unusual will find new ground broken in this immature8 study of Jewish life.'"
"There, Esther, isn't that just what I've been saying in other words?"
"It's hardly worth bothering about the book now," said Esther in low tones, "it's such a long time ago now since it came out. I don't know what's the good of reviewing it now. These literary papers always seem so cold and cruel to unknown writers."
"Cruel, it isn't half what he deserves," said Mrs. Goldsmith, "or ought I to say she? Do you think there's anything, Esther, in that idea of its being a woman?"
"Really, dear, I'm sick to death of that book," said Esther. "These reviewers always try to be very clever and to see through brick walls. What does it matter if it's a he, or a she?"
"It doesn't matter, but it makes it more disgraceful, if it's a woman. A woman has no business to know the seamy side of human nature."
At this instant, a domestic knocked and announced that Mr. Leonard James had called to see Miss Ansell. Annoyance9, surprise and relief struggled to express themselves on Esther's face.
"Is the gentleman waiting to see me?" she said.
"Yes, miss, he's in the hall."
Esther turned to Mrs. Goldsmith. "It's a young man I came across unexpectedly last night at the theatre. He's the son of Reb Shemuel, of whom you may have heard. I haven't met him since we were boy and girl together. He asked permission to call, but I didn't expect him so soon."
"Oh, see him by all means, dear. He is probably anxious to talk over old times."
"May I ask him up here?"
"No--unless you particularly want to introduce him to me. I dare say he would rather have you to himself." There was a touch of superciliousness10 about her tone, which Esther rather resented, although not particularly anxious for Levi's social recognition.
"Show him into the library," she said to the servant. "I will be down in a minute." She lingered a few indifferent remarks with her companion and then went down, wondering at Levi's precipitancy in renewing the acquaintance. She could not help thinking of the strangeness of life. That time yesterday she had not dreamed of Levi, and now she was about to see him for the second time and seemed to know him as intimately as if they had never been parted.
Leonard James was pacing the carpet. His face was perturbed11, though his stylishly12 cut clothes were composed and immaculate. A cloak was thrown loosely across his shoulders. In his right hand he held a bouquet13 of Spring flowers, which he transferred to his left in order to shake hands with her.
"Good afternoon, Esther," he said heartily14. "By Jove, you have got among tip-top people. I had no idea. Fancy you ordering Jeames de la Pluche about. And how happy you must be among all these books! I've brought you a bouquet. There! Isn't it a beauty? I got it at Covent Garden this morning."
"It's very kind of you," murmured Esther, not so pleased as she might have been, considering her love of beautiful things. "But you really ought not to waste your money like that."
"What nonsense, Esther! Don't forget I'm not in the position my father was. I'm going to be a rich man. No, don't put it into a vase; put it in your own room where it will remind you of me. Just smell those violets, they are awfully15 sweet and fresh. I flatter myself, it's quite as swell16 and tasteful as the bouquet you had last night. Who gave you that. Esther?" The "Esther" mitigated17 the off-handedness of the question, but made the sentence jar doubly upon her ear. She might have brought herself to call him "Levi" in exchange, but then she was not certain he would like it. "Leonard" was impossible. So she forbore to call him by any name.
"I think Mr. Graham brought it. Won't you sit down?" she said indifferently.
"Thank you. I thought so. Luck that fellow's engaged. Do you know, Esther. I didn't sleep all night."
"No?" said Esther. "You seemed quite well when I saw you."
"So I was, but seeing you again, so unexpectedly, excited me. You have been whirling in my brain ever since. I hadn't thought of you for years--"
"No, I suppose not," he said, a little ruefully. "But, anyhow, fate has brought us together again. I recognized you the moment I set eyes on you, for all your grand clothes and your swell bouquets19. I tell you I was just struck all of a heap; of course, I knew about your luck, but I hadn't realized it. There wasn't any one in the whole theatre who looked the lady more--'pon honor; you'd have no cause to blush in the company of duchesses. In fact I know a duchess or two who don't look near so refined. I was quite surprised. Do you know, if any one had told me you used to live up in a garret--"
"Oh, please don't recall unpleasant things," interrupted Esther, petulantly20, a little shudder21 going through her, partly at the picture he called up, partly at his grating vulgarity. Her repulsion to him was growing. Why had he developed so disagreeably? She had not disliked him as a boy, and he certainly had not inherited his traits of coarseness from his father, whom she still conceived as a courtly old gentleman.
"Oh well, if you don't like it, I won't. I see you're like me; I never think of the Ghetto22 if I can help it. Well, as I was saying, I haven't had a wink23 of sleep since I saw you. I lay tossing about, thinking all sorts of things, till I could stand it no longer, and I got up and dressed and walked about the streets and strayed into Covent Garden Market, where the inspiration came upon me to get you this bouquet. For, of course, it was about you that I had been thinking."
"About me?" said Esther, turning pale.
"Yes, of course. Don't make _Schnecks_--you know what I mean. I can't help using the old expression when I look at you; the past seems all come back again. They were happy days, weren't they, Esther, when I used to come up to see you in Royal Street; I think you were a little sweet on me in those days, Esther, and I know I was regular mashed24 on you."
He looked at her with a fond smile.
"I dare say you were a silly boy," said Esther, coloring uneasily under his gaze. "However, you needn't reproach yourself now."
"Reproach myself, indeed! Never fear that. What I have been reproaching myself with all night is never having looked you up. Somehow, do you know, I kept asking myself whether I hadn't made a fool of myself lately, and I kept thinking things might have been different if--"
"Nonsense, nonsense," interrupted Esther with an embarrassed laugh. "You've been doing very well, learning to know the world and studying law and mixing with pleasant people."
"Ah, Esther," he said, shaking his head, "it's very good of you to say that. I don't say I've done anything particularly foolish or out of the way. But when a man is alone, he sometimes gets a little reckless and wastes his time, and you know what it is. I've been thinking if I had some one to keep me steady, some one I could respect, it would be the best thing that could happen to me."
"Oh, but surely you ought to have sense enough to take care of yourself. And there is always your father. Why don't you see more of him?"
"Don't chaff25 a man when you see he's in earnest. You know what I mean. It's you I am thinking of."
"Me? Oh well, if you think my friendship can be of any use to you I shall be delighted. Come and see me sometimes and tell me of your struggles."
"You know I don't mean that," he said desperately26. "Couldn't we be more than friends? Couldn't we commence again--where we left off"
"How do you mean?" she murmured.
"Why are you so cold to me?" he burst out. "Why do you make it so hard for me to speak? You know I love you, that I fell in love with you all over again last night. I never really forgot you; you were always deep down in my breast. All that I said about steadying me wasn't a lie. I felt that, too. But the real thing I feel is the need of you. I want you to care for me as I care for you. You used to, Esther; you know you did."
"I know nothing of the kind," said Esther, "and I can't understand why a young fellow like you wants to bother his head with such ideas. You've got to make your way in the world--"
"I know, I know; that's why I want you. I didn't tell you the exact truth last night, Esther, but I must really earn some money soon. All that two thousand is used up, and I only get along by squeezing some money out of the old man every now and again. Don't frown; he got a rise of screw three years ago and can well afford it. Now that's what I said to myself last night; if I were engaged, it would be an incentive27 to earning something."
"For a Jewish young man, you are fearfully unpractical," said Esther, with a forced smile. "Fancy proposing to a girl without even prospects28 of prospects."
"Oh, but I _have_ got prospects. I tell you I shall make no end of money on the stage."
"No fear. I know I've got as much talent as Bob Andrews (he admits it himself), and _he_ draws his thirty quid a week."
"Wasn't that the man who appeared at the police-court the other day for being drunk and disorderly?"
"Y-e-es," admitted Leonard, a little disconcerted. "He is a very good fellow, but he loses his head when he's in liquor."
"I wonder you can care for society of that sort," said Esther.
"Perhaps you're right. They're not a very refined lot. I tell you what--I'd like to go on the stage, but I'm not mad on it, and if you only say the word I'll give it up. There! And I'll go on with my law studies; honor bright, I will."
"I should, if I were you," she said.
"Yes, but I can't do it without encouragement. Won't you say 'yes'? Let's strike the bargain. I'll stick to law and you'll stick to me."
She shook her head. "I am afraid I could not promise anything you mean. As I said before, I shall be always glad to see you. If you do well, no one will rejoice more than I."
"Rejoice! What's the good of that to me? I want you to care for me; I want to took forward to your being my wife."
"Really, I cannot take advantage of a moment of folly31 like this. You don't know what you're saying. You saw me last night, after many years, and in your gladness at seeing an old friend you flare32 up and fancy you're in love with me. Why, who ever heard of such foolish haste? Go back to your studies, and in a day or two you will find the flame sinking as rapidly as it leaped up."
"No, no! Nothing of the kind!" His voice was thicker and there was real passion in it. She grew dearer to him as the hope of her love receded33. "I couldn't forget you. I care for you awfully. I realized last night that my feeling for you is quite unlike what I have ever felt towards any other girl. Don't say no! Don't send me away despairing. I can hardly realize that you have grown so strange and altered. Surely you oughtn't to put on any side with me. Remember the times we have had together."
"I remember," she said gently. "But I do not want to marry any one: indeed, I don't."
"Then if there is no one else in your thoughts, why shouldn't it be me? There! I won't press you for an answer now. Only don't say it's out of the question."
"I'm afraid I must."
"No, you mustn't, Esther, you mustn't," he exclaimed excitedly. "Think of what it means for me. You are the only Jewish girl I shall ever care for; and father would be pleased if I were to marry you. You know if I wanted to marry a _Shiksah_ there'd be awful rows. Don't treat me as if I were some outsider with no claim upon you. I believe we should get on splendidly together, you and me. We've been through the same sort of thing in childhood, we should understand each other, and be in sympathy with each other in a way I could never be with another girl and I doubt if you could with another fellow."
The words burst from him like a torrent34, with excited foreign-looking gestures. Esther's headache was coming on badly.
"What would be the use of my deceiving you?" she said gently. "I don't think I shall ever marry. I'm sure I could never make you--or any one else--happy. Won't you let me be your friend?"
"Friend!" he echoed bitterly. "I know what it is; I'm poor. I've got no money bags to lay at your feet. You're like all the Jewish girls after all. But I only ask you to wait; I shall have plenty of money by and by. Who knows what more luck my father might drop in for? There are lots of rich religious cranks. And then I'll work hard, honor bright I will."
"Pray be reasonable," said Esther quietly. "You know you are talking at random35. Yesterday this time you had no idea of such a thing. To-day you are all on fire. To-morrow you will forget all about it."
"Never! Never!" he cried. "Haven't I remembered you all these years? They talk of man's faithlessness and woman's faithfulness. It seems to me, it's all the other way. Women are a deceptive36 lot."
"You know you have no right whatever to talk like that to me," said Esther, her sympathy beginning to pass over into annoyance. "To-morrow you will be sorry. Hadn't you better go before you give yourself--and me--more cause for regret?"
"Ho, you're sending me away, are you?" he said in angry surprise.
"I am certainly suggesting it as the wisest course."
"Oh, don't give me any of your fine phrases!" he said brutally37. "I see what it is--I've made a mistake. You're a stuck-up, conceited38 little thing. You think because you live in a grand house nobody is good enough for you. But what are you after all? a _Schnorrer_--that's all. A _Schnorrer_ living on the charity of strangers. If I mix with grand folks, it is as an independent man and an equal. But you, rather than marry any one who mightn't be able to give you carriages and footmen, you prefer to remain a _Schnorrer_."
Esther was white and her lips trembled. "Now I must ask you to go," she said.
"All right, don't flurry yourself!" he said savagely39. "You don't impress me with your airs. Try them on people who don't know what you were--a _Schnorrer's_ daughter. Yes, your father was always a _Schnorrer_ and you are his child. It's in the blood. Ha! Ha! Ha! Moses Ansell's daughter! Moses Ansell's daughter--a peddler, who went about the country with brass40 jewelry41 and stood in the Lane with lemons and _schnorred_ half-crowns of my father. You took jolly good care to ship him off to America, but 'pon my honor, you can't expect others to forget him as quickly as you. It's a rich joke, you refusing me. You're not fit for me to wipe my shoes on. My mother never cared for me to go to your garret; she said I must mix with my equals and goodness knew what disease I might pick up in the dirt; 'pon my honor the old girl was right."
"She _was_ right," Esther was stung into retorting. "You must mix only with your equals. Please leave the room now or else I shall."
His face changed. His frenzy42 gave way to a momentary43 shock of consternation44 as he realized what he had done.
"No, no, Esther. I was mad, I didn't know what I was saying. I didn't mean it. Forget it."
"I cannot. It was quite true," she said bitterly. "I am only a _Schnorrer's_ daughter. Well, are you going or must I?"
He muttered something inarticulate, then seized his hat sulkily and went to the door without looking at her.
"You have forgotten something," she said.
He turned; her forefinger45 pointed46 to the bouquet on the table. He had a fresh access of rage at the sight of it, jerked it contemptuously to the floor with a sweep of his hat and stamped upon it. Then he rushed from the room and an instant after she heard the hall door slam.
She sank against the table sobbing47 nervously48. It was her first proposal! A _Schnorrer_ and the daughter of a _Schnorrer_. Yes, that-was what she was. And she had even repaid her benefactors49 with deception50! What hopes could she yet cherish? In literature she was a failure; the critics gave her few gleams of encouragement, while all her acquaintances from Raphael downwards51 would turn and rend52 her, should she dare declare herself. Nay53, she was ashamed of herself for the mischief54 she had wrought55. No one in the world cared for her; she was quite alone. The only man in whose breast she could excite love or the semblance56 of it was a contemptible57 cad. And who was she, that she should venture to hope for love? She figured herself as an item in a catalogue; "a little, ugly, low-spirited, absolutely penniless young woman, subject to nervous headaches." Her sobs58 were interrupted by a ghastly burst of self-mockery. Yes, Levi was right. She ought to think herself lucky to get him. Again, she asked herself what had existence to offer her. Gradually her sobs ceased; she remembered to-night would be _Seder_ night, and her thoughts, so violently turned Ghetto-wards, went back to that night, soon after poor Benjamin's death, when she sat before the garret fire striving to picture the larger life of the future. Well, this was the future.
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1
exclamation
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| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
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sordid
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| adj.肮脏的，不干净的，卑鄙的，暗淡的 | |
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3
superfluous
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| adj.过多的，过剩的，多余的 | |
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4
pessimism
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| n.悲观者，悲观主义者，厌世者 | |
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pervades
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| v.遍及，弥漫( pervade的第三人称单数 ) | |
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minor
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| adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修 | |
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7
sketched
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| v.草拟（sketch的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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immature
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| adj.未成熟的，发育未全的，未充分发展的 | |
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annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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superciliousness
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| n.高傲，傲慢 | |
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perturbed
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| adj.烦燥不安的v.使（某人）烦恼，不安( perturb的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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12
stylishly
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| adv.时髦地，新式地 | |
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bouquet
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| n.花束，酒香 | |
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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awfully
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| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
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swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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mitigated
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| v.减轻，缓和( mitigate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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bouquets
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| n.花束( bouquet的名词复数 )；（酒的）芳香 | |
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petulantly
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shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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ghetto
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| n.少数民族聚居区，贫民区 | |
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wink
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| n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁 | |
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mashed
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| a.捣烂的 | |
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chaff
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desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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incentive
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| n.刺激；动力；鼓励；诱因；动机 | |
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prospects
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| n.希望，前途(恒为复数) | |
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29
facetious
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| adj.轻浮的，好开玩笑的 | |
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vein
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| n.血管，静脉；叶脉，纹理；情绪；vt.使成脉络 | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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flare
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| v.闪耀，闪烁；n.潮红；突发 | |
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receded
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| v.逐渐远离( recede的过去式和过去分词 )；向后倾斜；自原处后退或避开别人的注视；尤指问题 | |
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torrent
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| n.激流，洪流；爆发，(话语等的)连发 | |
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random
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| adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
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deceptive
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| adj.骗人的，造成假象的，靠不住的 | |
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brutally
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| adv.残忍地，野蛮地，冷酷无情地 | |
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conceited
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| adj.自负的，骄傲自满的 | |
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savagely
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| adv. 野蛮地，残酷地 | |
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brass
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| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
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jewelry
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| n.（jewllery）（总称）珠宝 | |
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frenzy
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| n.疯狂，狂热，极度的激动 | |
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momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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consternation
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| n.大为吃惊，惊骇 | |
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forefinger
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| n.食指 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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sobbing
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| <主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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nervously
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| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
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benefactors
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| n.捐助者，施主( benefactor的名词复数 )；恩人 | |
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deception
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| n.欺骗，欺诈；骗局，诡计 | |
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downwards
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| adj./adv.向下的（地），下行的（地） | |
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52
rend
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| vt.把…撕开，割裂；把…揪下来，强行夺取 | |
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53
nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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semblance
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| n.外貌，外表 | |
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contemptible
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| adj.可鄙的，可轻视的，卑劣的 | |
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sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句： |
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