"If it rains you're ruined, miss," said the girl anxiously, glancing up into the heavy darkness where not a star was to be seen. "You ought for to have an umbrella."
Lilian shook her head.
"It won't rain," she answered cheerfully.
But as soon as she was fairly away from the house she felt, or thought she felt, a drop of rain, and, seeing a taxi, she impulsively4 hailed it, wishing to heaven the next instant that she had not been so audacious. For although twice with her father and mother she had ridden in taxis on very great occasions, she had never in her life actually taken one by herself. Her voice failed and broke as she said to the driver: "Devonshire Restaurant, Jermyn Street"; but the driver was proficient5 in comprehension, and the Devonshire Restaurant in Jermyn Street seemed to be as familiar to him as Charing6 Cross Station.
In the taxi she collected herself. She thought she was all right except for her lips. She knew that her lips ought to have been slightly coloured, but she thought she also knew what was the best lip-stick and she had not been able to get it in Hammersmith. As for her nails, she was glad that it had been impossible for her to tint7 them. She must remember that she was a typist, and though typists, and even discharged typists, generally help their lips to be crimson8 on state-nights, they do not usually tint their nails--unless they have abandoned discretion9.
Lilian was glad when justifying10 rain began to fall. While she paid the driver at her destination, a commissionaire held a vast umbrella over her fragile splendour.
Her legs literally11 shook as she entered the restaurant, exactly as once they had shaken in an air-raid. Within was a rich, tiny little waiting-room with a view of the dining-room beyond. She hesitated awkwardly, for owing to the taxi she was nearly a quarter of an hour too early. A respectful attendant said:
"Are you expecting anyone, madam?"
"Yes."
"What name, madam?"
"Mr. Grig."
"Oh yes, madam. His table is booked."
She had sat down. She could now inspect herself in half a dozen large mirrors, and she almost ceased to fear for her appearance. It was her deportment and demeanour that now troubled her. In this matter she was disturbingly aware that she had both to unlearn and to learn. She looked through the glass partition into the restaurant. It was small but sumptuous12; and empty of diners save for a couple of women who were smoking and eating simultaneously13. People, chiefly in couples, kept arriving and passing through the antechamber. She picked up a copy of What's On, pretending to study it but studying the arrivals. Then she felt a man come in and glimpsed the attendant pointing to herself. Mr. Grig could not entirely14 conceal15 his astonishment16 at the smartness of her appearance. He had in fact not immediately recognized her. His surprised pleasure and appreciation17 gave her both pleasure and confidence.
"I'm not late," he said, resuming rapidly his rather quizzical matter-of-factness.
"No. I was too early."
The attendant took Mr. Grig's overcoat like a sacred treasure; he was shown to be in a dark blue suit; and they passed to the restaurant.
Lilian thought:
"Anyway, he can't think I've bought these clothes specially18 for this affair, because he only asked me this afternoon."
The table reserved was in a corner. Lilian had a full view of the whole restaurant, while Mr. Grig had a full view of nothing but Lilian. For a girl in Lilian's situation he was an ideal host, for the reason that he talked just as naturally--and in particular curtly--as if they had been at the office together. When a waiter shackled19 in silver approached with the wine list, he asked:
"What wine do you prefer?"
"Whatever you prefer," she replied, with a prompt and delicious smile.
"Oh, no!" he protested. "That won't do at all. If a woman's given the choice she ought to choose. She must submit ideas, at any rate. Otherwise we shall go wandering all through the wine list and finally settle on something neither of us wants."
Lilian had learnt a little about wines (she had sipped20 often from the paternal21 glass), and also about good plain cooking.
"Burgundy," she said.
Without another word Mr. Grig turned to the Burgundy page, and while he was selecting Lilian took off her gloves and gazed timidly around. It was the silver table-lamps, each glowing under a canopy22 of orange, that impressed her more than anything else. She saw shoulders, bosoms23, pearls, white shirt-fronts, black backs--the room was still filling--all repeated in gilt24 mirrors. The manner of the numerous waiters corresponded to her notion of court chamberlains. This was the first high-class restaurant she had ever seen, and despite her nervousness she felt more at home in it, more exultingly25 happy in it, than anywhere before in all her existence. She passionately26 loved it, and her beauty seemed to increase in radiance. She liked to think that it was extremely costly27. Compare it to the Palais de Danse, Mr. Pladda, and the tomato sandwiches! Ah! It was the genuine article at last! She took surreptitious glances also at Mr. Grig's bent28 face; and the face was so strange to her, though just the same as of old, that she might have been seeing it for the first time. The greatness, the enormity of the occasion, frightened her. What were they doing there together? And what in the future would they do together? Was he really and seriously attracted by her? Was she in love with him? Or was it all a curious and dangerous deception29? She had always understood that when one was in love one knew definitely that one was in love. Whereas she was sure of nothing whatever. Nevertheless she was uplifted into a beatific30, irrational31 and reckless joy. Never had she felt as she felt while Mr. Grig was selecting the Burgundy.
"Now we'd better be getting to business," said he, when the hors d'oeuvre had been removed and the soup served. "I had a letter from my sister this morning. She wrote--wait a minute!" He pulled a letter from his pocket and read out: "'I'm sorry to say I've been compelled to get rid of poor Lilian Share. She's a nice enough girl in her way, but when you're not here I'm in charge of this office, and as she couldn't treat me with the respect due to me, I had to decide at once what to do, and I did decide. I treated her generously, and I hope she'll soon get another place. She will, of course, because she can be so very attractive when she likes'--underlined--'but I fear she isn't likely to keep it unless she changes her style of behaviour.'" He smacked32 the letter together and returned it to his pocket. "There, you see! I'm being remarkably33 frank with you. I came up from Brighton on purpose to tell you, and I'm going, back by the last train to-night. My sister is quite unaware34 of this escapade. In fact, at the moment I'm leading a double life. Now! I've given you one version of this mighty35 incident. Give me your version."
Lilian, troubled, looked at her mother's engagement ring on her finger--the sole jewel she carried--and smiled with acute restraint at her plate.
"Have you got another situation? I suppose not," Mr. Grig went on.
"No--not yet."
"Have you tried for one?"
"No."
"Then what are you about?"
"Oh! My father left me a little money--very little, but I'm not starving."
"So I should judge.... Well, tell me all about it."
"I didn't mean to be rude to her--really I didn't. It was about a small bill of Lord Mackworth's."
She related the episode in detail, repeating the conversation with marvellous exactitude, but with too many "she saids, she saids" and "I saids, I saids." Mr. Grig laughed when she came to the offer to pay the bill herself, and after a moment she gave a slight responsive smile. She was very careful not to make or even to imply the least charge against Miss Grig, and she accomplished36 the duplicity with much skill.
"I can promise you one thing," said Mr. Grig. "The moment I get back I'll see that Milly is sacked. I cannot stick that bag of bones."
"Please don't!"
"You don't want me to?"
Lilian shook her head slowly.
"All right, then. I won't. Now I'll tell you the whole business in a nutshell. My sister's a great woman. She's perfectly37 mad, but she's a great woman. Only where I'm concerned she's always most monstrously38 unscrupulous. I'm her religion--always was, but more than ever since I bought that amusing business. She was dying of boredom39. It saved her. When I got myself divorced she was absolutely delighted. She had me to herself again. Her jealousy40 where I'm concerned is ferocious41. She can't help it, but it's ferocious. Tigresses aren't in it with her. She was jealous of you, and she'd determined42 to clear you out. I've perceived that for a long time."
"But why should she be jealous of me? I'm sure I've never----"
"Well, she's damned clever, Isabel is, and she's seen that I'm in love with you. Gone--far gone!"
The thud-thud of Lilian's heart appalled44 her. She blushed down to her neck. Her hand shook. The restaurant and all its inhabitants vanished in a cloud and then slowly reappeared. Her confusion of mind was terrible. She was shocked, outraged45, by the negligently46 brutal47 candour of the avowal48; and at the same time she was thinking: "I'd no idea that any man was as marvellous as this man is, and I don't think there can possibly be another man quite as marvellous anywhere. And his being in love with me is the most ravishing, lovely, tender--tender--tender thing that ever happened to any girl. And, of course, he is in love with me. He's not pretending. He would never pretend...."
She wanted to be unconscious for a little while. She did not know it, but her beautiful face was transfigured by the interplay of shyness, modesty49, soft resentment50, gratitude51, ecstasy52 and determination. Her head was bowed and she could not raise it. Neither could she utter a single word. She looked divine, and thought she looked either silly or sulky. Mr. Grig glanced aside. A glimpse of paradise had dazzled the eternal youth in him. The waiter bore away the soup-plates.
"Perhaps that's enough about business for the present," said Mr. Grig at length. "Let's talk about something else. But before we start I must just tell you you're the most stylish53 creature in this restaurant. I was staggered when I came in and saw you. Staggered!"
She did raise her head.
Mr. Grig, overwhelmed, offered no response.
As for her determination, it amounted to this: "I will be as marvellous as he is. I will be more marvellous. I will be queen, slave, everything. He doesn't guess what is in store for him." She did not think about the difference in their ages, nor about marriage; nor did she even consider whether or not she was in love with him. Chiefly, she was grateful. And what she saw in front of her was a sublime55 vocation56. Her mood was ever so faintly tinged57 with regret because they were not both in evening dress.
该作者的其它作品
《How to Live on 24 Hours a Day》
《Hilda Lessways》
该作者的其它作品
《How to Live on 24 Hours a Day》
《Hilda Lessways》
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1
furtively
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| adv. 偷偷地, 暗中地 | |
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touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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impulsively
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| adv.冲动地 | |
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proficient
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| adj.熟练的，精通的；n.能手，专家 | |
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charing
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| n.炭化v.把…烧成炭，把…烧焦( char的现在分词 )；烧成炭，烧焦；做杂役女佣 | |
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tint
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| n.淡色，浅色；染发剂；vt.着以淡淡的颜色 | |
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crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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discretion
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| n.谨慎；随意处理 | |
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justifying
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| 证明…有理( justify的现在分词 )； 为…辩护； 对…作出解释； 为…辩解（或辩护） | |
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literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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sumptuous
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| adj.豪华的，奢侈的，华丽的 | |
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simultaneously
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| adv.同时发生地，同时进行地 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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appreciation
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| n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨 | |
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specially
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| adv.特定地；特殊地；明确地 | |
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shackled
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| 给（某人）带上手铐或脚镣( shackle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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sipped
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| v.小口喝，呷，抿( sip的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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paternal
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| adj.父亲的，像父亲的，父系的，父方的 | |
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canopy
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| n.天篷，遮篷 | |
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bosoms
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| 胸部( bosom的名词复数 )； 胸怀； 女衣胸部（或胸襟）； 和爱护自己的人在一起的情形 | |
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gilt
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| adj.镀金的；n.金边证券 | |
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exultingly
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| 兴高采烈地，得意地 | |
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passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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costly
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| adj.昂贵的，价值高的，豪华的 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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deception
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| n.欺骗，欺诈；骗局，诡计 | |
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beatific
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| adj.快乐的，有福的 | |
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irrational
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| adj.无理性的，失去理性的 | |
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smacked
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| 拍，打，掴( smack的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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remarkably
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| ad.不同寻常地，相当地 | |
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unaware
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| a.不知道的，未意识到的 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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monstrously
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boredom
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| n.厌烦，厌倦，乏味，无聊 | |
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jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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ferocious
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| adj.凶猛的，残暴的，极度的，十分强烈的 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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appalled
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| v.使惊骇，使充满恐惧( appall的过去式和过去分词)adj.惊骇的；丧胆的 | |
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outraged
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| a.震惊的，义愤填膺的 | |
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negligently
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brutal
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| adj.残忍的，野蛮的，不讲理的 | |
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avowal
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| n.公开宣称，坦白承认 | |
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modesty
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| n.谦逊，虚心，端庄，稳重，羞怯，朴素 | |
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resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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stylish
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| adj.流行的，时髦的；漂亮的，气派的 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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sublime
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| adj.崇高的，伟大的；极度的，不顾后果的 | |
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vocation
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| n.职业，行业 | |
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tinged
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| v.（使）发丁丁声( ting的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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