She was not able to follow up her observations, however, or to cometo any conclusion, for by one of those accidents which are liableto happen at sea, the whole course of their lives was now putout of order.
Even at tea the floor rose beneath their feet and pitched toolow again, and at dinner the ship seemed to groan1 and strainas though a lash2 were descending3. She who had been a broad-backeddray-horse, upon whose hind-quarters pierrots might waltz,became a colt in a field. The plates slanted4 away from the knives,and Mrs. Dalloway's face blanched5 for a second as she helped herselfand saw the potatoes roll this way and that. Willoughby, of course,extolled the virtues6 of his ship, and quoted what had been saidof her by experts and distinguished7 passengers, for he loved hisown possessions. Still, dinner was uneasy, and directly the ladieswere alone Clarissa owned that she would be better off in bed,and went, smiling bravely.
Next morning the storm was on them, and no politeness could ignore it.
Mrs. Dalloway stayed in her room. Richard faced three meals,eating valiantly8 at each; but at the third, certain glazed9 asparagusswimming in oil finally conquered him.
"That beats me," he said, and withdrew.
"Now we are alone once more," remarked William Pepper, looking roundthe table; but no one was ready to engage him in talk, and the mealended in silence.
On the following day they met--but as flying leaves meet in the air.
Sick they were not; but the wind propelled them hastily into rooms,violently downstairs. They passed each other gasping10 on deck; they shoutedacross tables. They wore fur coats; and Helen was never seen withouta bandanna11 on her head. For comfort they retreated to their cabins,where with tightly wedged feet they let the ship bounce and tumble.
Their sensations were the sensations of potatoes in a sack on agalloping horse. The world outside was merely a violent grey tumult12.
For two days they had a perfect rest from their old emotions.
Rachel had just enough consciousness to suppose herself a donkey onthe summit of a moor13 in a hail-storm, with its coat blown into furrows;then she became a wizened14 tree, perpetually driven back by the saltAtlantic gale15.
Helen, on the other hand, staggered to Mrs. Dalloway's door, knocked,could not be heard for the slamming of doors and the batteringof wind, and entered.
There were basins, of course. Mrs. Dalloway lay half-raised ona pillow, and did not open her eyes. Then she murmured, "Oh, Dick,is that you?"Helen shouted--for she was thrown against the washstand--"Howare you?"Clarissa opened one eye. It gave her an incredibly dissipated appearance.
"Awful!" she gasped16. Her lips were white inside.
Planting her feet wide, Helen contrived17 to pour champagne18 intoa tumbler with a tooth-brush in it.
"Champagne," she said.
"There's a tooth-brush in it," murmured Clarissa, and smiled;it might have been the contortion19 of one weeping. She drank.
"Disgusting," she whispered, indicating the basins. Relics20 ofhumour still played over her face like moonshine.
"Want more?" Helen shouted. Speech was again beyond Clarissa's reach.
The wind laid the ship shivering on her side. Pale agonies crossedMrs. Dalloway in waves. When the curtains flapped, grey lightspuffed across her. Between the spasms21 of the storm, Helen madethe curtain fast, shook the pillows, stretched the bed-clothes,and smoothed the hot nostrils22 and forehead with cold scent23.
"You _are_ good!" Clarissa gasped. "Horrid24 mess!"She was trying to apologise for white underclothes fallen andscattered on the floor. For one second she opened a single eye,and saw that the room was tidy.
"That's nice," she gasped.
Helen left her; far, far away she knew that she felt a kind of likingfor Mrs. Dalloway. She could not help respecting her spirit andher desire, even in the throes of sickness, for a tidy bedroom.
Her petticoats, however, rose above her knees.
Quite suddenly the storm relaxed its grasp. It happened at tea;the expected paroxysm of the blast gave out just as it reachedits climax26 and dwindled27 away, and the ship instead of takingthe usual plunge28 went steadily29. The monotonous30 order of plungingand rising, roaring and relaxing, was interfered31 with, and everyone at table looked up and felt something loosen within them.
The strain was slackened and human feelings began to peep again,as they do when daylight shows at the end of a tunnel.
"Try a turn with me," Ridley called across to Rachel.""Foolish!" cried Helen, but they went stumbling up the ladder.
Choked by the wind their spirits rose with a rush, for on the skirtsof all the grey tumult was a misty32 spot of gold. Instantly the worlddropped into shape; they were no longer atoms flying in the void,but people riding a triumphant33 ship on the back of the sea.
Wind and space were banished34; the world floated like an apple in a tub,and the mind of man, which had been unmoored also, once more attacheditself to the old beliefs.
Having scrambled35 twice round the ship and received many sound cuffsfrom the wind, they saw a sailor's face positively36 shine golden.
They looked, and beheld37 a complete yellow circle of sun; next minute itwas traversed by sailing stands of cloud, and then completely hidden.
By breakfast the next morning, however, the sky was swept clean,the waves, although steep, were blue, and after their view of thestrange under-world, inhabited by phantoms38, people began to liveamong tea-pots and loaves of bread with greater zest39 than ever.
Richard and Clarissa, however, still remained on the borderland.
She did not attempt to sit up; her husband stood on his feet,contemplated his waistcoat and trousers, shook his head, and then laydown again. The inside of his brain was still rising and fallinglike the sea on the stage. At four o'clock he woke from sleep andsaw the sunlight make a vivid angle across the red plush curtainsand the grey tweed trousers. The ordinary world outside slidinto his mind, and by the time he was dressed he was an Englishgentleman again.
He stood beside his wife. She pulled him down to her by the lapelof his coat, kissed him, and held him fast for a minute.
"Go and get a breath of air, Dick," she said. "You look quite washed out.
. . . How nice you smell! . . . And be polite to that woman.
She was so kind to me."Thereupon Mrs. Dalloway turned to the cool side of her pillow,terribly flattened41 but still invincible42.
Richard found Helen talking to her brother-in-law, over two dishesof yellow cake and smooth bread and butter.
"You look very ill!" she exclaimed on seeing him. "Come and havesome tea."He remarked that the hands that moved about the cups were beautiful.
"I hear you've been very good to my wife," he said. "She's hadan awful time of it. You came in and fed her with champagne.
Were you among the saved yourself?""I? Oh, I haven't been sick for twenty years--sea-sick, I mean.""There are three stages of convalescence43, I always say,"broke in the hearty44 voice of Willoughby. "The milk stage,the bread-and-butter stage, and the roast-beef stage. I shouldsay you were at the bread-and-butter stage." He handed him the plate.
"Now, I should advise a hearty tea, then a brisk walk on deck;and by dinner-time you'll be clamouring for beef, eh?" He wentoff laughing, excusing himself on the score of business.
"What a splendid fellow he is!" said Richard. "Always keenon something.""Yes," said Helen, "he's always been like that.""This is a great undertaking45 of his," Richard continued.
"It's a business that won't stop with ships, I should say.
We shall see him in Parliament, or I'm much mistaken. He's the kindof man we want in Parliament--the man who has done things."But Helen was not much interested in her brother-in-law.
"I expect your head's aching, isn't it?" she asked, pouring a fresh cup.
"Well, it is," said Richard. "It's humiliating to find what a slaveone is to one's body in this world. D'you know, I can never workwithout a kettle on the hob. As often as not I don't drink tea,but I must feel that I can if I want to.""That's very bad for you," said Helen.
"It shortens one's life; but I'm afraid, Mrs. Ambrose, we politiciansmust make up our minds to that at the outset. We've got to burnthe candle at both ends, or--""You've cooked your goose!" said Helen brightly.
"We can't make you take us seriously, Mrs. Ambrose," he protested.
"May I ask how you've spent your time? Reading--philosophy?" (He sawthe black book.) "Metaphysics and fishing!" he exclaimed. "If I hadto live again I believe I should devote myself to one or the other."He began turning the pages.
"'Good, then, is indefinable,'" he read out. "How jolly to think that'sgoing on still! 'So far as I know there is only one ethical46 writer,Professor Henry Sidgwick, who has clearly recognised and statedthis fact.' That's just the kind of thing we used to talk aboutwhen we were boys. I can remember arguing until five in the morningwith Duffy--now Secretary for India--pacing round and round thosecloisters until we decided47 it was too late to go to bed, and wewent for a ride instead. Whether we ever came to any conclusion--that's another matter. Still, it's the arguing that counts.
It's things like that that stand out in life. Nothing's beenquite so vivid since. It's the philosophers, it's the scholars,"he continued, "they're the people who pass the torch, who keepthe light burning by which we live. Being a politician doesn'tnecessarily blind one to that, Mrs. Ambrose.""No. Why should it?" said Helen. "But can you remember if yourwife takes sugar?"She lifted the tray and went off with it to Mrs. Dalloway.
Richard twisted a muffler twice round his throat and struggled upon deck. His body, which had grown white and tender in a dark room,tingled all over in the fresh air. He felt himself a man undoubtedlyin the prime of life. Pride glowed in his eye as he let the windbuffet him and stood firm. With his head slightly lowered hesheered round corners, strode uphill, and met the blast. There wasa collision. For a second he could not see what the body was hehad run into. "Sorry." "Sorry." It was Rachel who apologised.
They both laughed, too much blown about to speak. She drove openthe door of her room and stepped into its calm. In order to speakto her, it was necessary that Richard should follow. They stoodin a whirlpool of wind; papers began flying round in circles,the door crashed to, and they tumbled, laughing, into chairs.
Richard sat upon Bach.
"My word! What a tempest!" he exclaimed.
"Fine, isn't it?" said Rachel. Certainly the struggle and windhad given her a decision she lacked; red was in her cheeks,and her hair was down.
"Oh, what fun!" he cried. "What am I sitting on? Is this your room?
How jolly!" "There--sit there," she commanded. Cowper slidonce more.
"How jolly to meet again," said Richard. "It seems an age.
_Cowper's_ _Letters>? . . . Bach? . . . _Wuthering_ _Heights_?
. . . Is this where you meditate48 on the world, and then comeout and pose poor politicians with questions? In the intervalsof sea-sickness I've thought a lot of our talk. I assure you,you made me think.""I made you think! But why?""What solitary49 icebergs50 we are, Miss Vinrace! How little wecan communicate! There are lots of things I should like to tellyou about--to hear your opinion of. Have you ever read Burke?""Burke?" she repeated. "Who was Burke?""No? Well, then I shall make a point of sending you a copy.
_The_ _Speech_ _on_ _the_ _French_ _Revolution_--_The__American_ _Rebellion_? Which shall it be, I wonder?" He notedsomething in his pocket-book. "And then you must write and tell mewhat you think of it. This reticence--this isolation--that's what'sthe matter with modern life! Now, tell me about yourself.
What are your interests and occupations? I should imagine that youwere a person with very strong interests. Of course you are!
Good God! When I think of the age we live in, with its opportunitiesand possibilities, the mass of things to be done and enjoyed--why haven't we ten lives instead of one? But about yourself?""You see, I'm a woman," said Rachel.
"I know--I know," said Richard, throwing his head back, and drawinghis fingers across his eyes.
"How strange to be a woman! A young and beautiful woman,"he continued sententiously, "has the whole world at her feet.
That's true, Miss Vinrace. You have an inestimable power--for goodor for evil. What couldn't you do--" he broke off.
"What?" asked Rachel.
"You have beauty," he said. The ship lurched. Rachel fellslightly forward. Richard took her in his arms and kissed her.
Holding her tight, he kissed her passionately51, so that she feltthe hardness of his body and the roughness of his cheek printedupon hers. She fell back in her chair, with tremendous beatsof the heart, each of which sent black waves across her eyes.
He clasped his forehead in his hands.
"You tempt40 me," he said. The tone of his voice was terrifying.
He seemed choked in fright. They were both trembling.
Rachel stood up and went. Her head was cold, her knees shaking,and the physical pain of the emotion was so great that she couldonly keep herself moving above the great leaps of her heart.
She leant upon the rail of the ship, and gradually ceased to feel,for a chill of body and mind crept over her. Far out between the waveslittle black and white sea-birds were riding. Rising and fallingwith smooth and graceful52 movements in the hollows of the waves theyseemed singularly detached and unconcerned.
"You're peaceful," she said. She became peaceful too, at the same timepossessed with a strange exultation53. Life seemed to hold infinitepossibilities she had never guessed at. She leant upon the railand looked over the troubled grey waters, where the sunlight wasfitfully scattered25 upon the crests54 of the waves, until she was coldand absolutely calm again. Nevertheless something wonderful had happened.
At dinner, however, she did not feel exalted55, but merely uncomfortable,as if she and Richard had seen something together which is hiddenin ordinary life, so that they did not like to look at each other.
Richard slid his eyes over her uneasily once, and never lookedat her again. Formal platitudes56 were manufactured with effort,but Willoughby was kindled57.
"Beef for Mr. Dalloway!" he shouted. "Come now--after that walkyou're at the beef stage, Dalloway!"Wonderful masculine stories followed about Bright and Disraeliand coalition58 governments, wonderful stories which made the peopleat the dinner-table seem featureless and small. After dinner,sitting alone with Rachel under the great swinging lamp, Helen wasstruck by her pallor. It once more occurred to her that therewas something strange in the girl's behaviour.
"You look tired. Are you tired?" she asked.
"Not tired," said Rachel. "Oh, yes, I suppose I am tired."Helen advised bed, and she went, not seeing Richard again.
She must have been very tired for she fell asleep at once,but after an hour or two of dreamless sleep, she dreamt. She dreamtthat she was walking down a long tunnel, which grew so narrowby degrees that she could touch the damp bricks on either side.
At length the tunnel opened and became a vault59; she foundherself trapped in it, bricks meeting her wherever she turned,alone with a little deformed60 man who squatted61 on the floor gibbering,with long nails. His face was pitted and like the face of an animal.
The wall behind him oozed62 with damp, which collected into dropsand slid down. Still and cold as death she lay, not daring to move,until she broke the agony by tossing herself across the bed,and woke crying "Oh!"Light showed her the familiar things: her clothes, fallen offthe chair; the water jug63 gleaming white; but the horror did not goat once. She felt herself pursued, so that she got up and actuallylocked her door. A voice moaned for her; eyes desired her.
All night long barbarian64 men harassed65 the ship; they came scufflingdown the passages, and stopped to snuffle at her door. She couldnot sleep again.
1 groan | |
vi./n.呻吟,抱怨;(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
2 lash | |
v.系牢;鞭打;猛烈抨击;n.鞭打;眼睫毛 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
3 descending | |
n. 下行 adj. 下降的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
4 slanted | |
有偏见的; 倾斜的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
5 blanched | |
v.使变白( blanch的过去式 );使(植物)不见阳光而变白;酸洗(金属)使有光泽;用沸水烫(杏仁等)以便去皮 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
6 virtues | |
美德( virtue的名词复数 ); 德行; 优点; 长处 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
7 distinguished | |
adj.卓越的,杰出的,著名的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
8 valiantly | |
adv.勇敢地,英勇地;雄赳赳 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
9 glazed | |
adj.光滑的,像玻璃的;上过釉的;呆滞无神的v.装玻璃( glaze的过去式);上釉于,上光;(目光)变得呆滞无神 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
10 gasping | |
adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
11 bandanna | |
n.大手帕 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
12 tumult | |
n.喧哗;激动,混乱;吵闹 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
13 moor | |
n.荒野,沼泽;vt.(使)停泊;vi.停泊 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
14 wizened | |
adj.凋谢的;枯槁的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
15 gale | |
n.大风,强风,一阵闹声(尤指笑声等) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
16 gasped | |
v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 );喘息;倒抽气;很想要 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
17 contrived | |
adj.不自然的,做作的;虚构的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
18 champagne | |
n.香槟酒;微黄色 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
19 contortion | |
n.扭弯,扭歪,曲解 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
20 relics | |
[pl.]n.遗物,遗迹,遗产;遗体,尸骸 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
21 spasms | |
n.痉挛( spasm的名词复数 );抽搐;(能量、行为等的)突发;发作 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
22 nostrils | |
鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
23 scent | |
n.气味,香味,香水,线索,嗅觉;v.嗅,发觉 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
24 horrid | |
adj.可怕的;令人惊恐的;恐怖的;极讨厌的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
25 scattered | |
adj.分散的,稀疏的;散步的;疏疏落落的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
26 climax | |
n.顶点;高潮;v.(使)达到顶点 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
27 dwindled | |
v.逐渐变少或变小( dwindle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
28 plunge | |
v.跳入,(使)投入,(使)陷入;猛冲 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
29 steadily | |
adv.稳定地;不变地;持续地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
30 monotonous | |
adj.单调的,一成不变的,使人厌倦的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
31 interfered | |
v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 );调停;妨碍;干涉 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
32 misty | |
adj.雾蒙蒙的,有雾的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
33 triumphant | |
adj.胜利的,成功的;狂欢的,喜悦的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
34 banished | |
v.放逐,驱逐( banish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
35 scrambled | |
v.快速爬行( scramble的过去式和过去分词 );攀登;争夺;(军事飞机)紧急起飞 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
36 positively | |
adv.明确地,断然,坚决地;实在,确实 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
37 beheld | |
v.看,注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 );瞧;看呀;(叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现)哎哟 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
38 phantoms | |
n.鬼怪,幽灵( phantom的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
39 zest | |
n.乐趣;滋味,风味;兴趣 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
40 tempt | |
vt.引诱,勾引,吸引,引起…的兴趣 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
41 flattened | |
[医](水)平扁的,弄平的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
42 invincible | |
adj.不可征服的,难以制服的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
43 convalescence | |
n.病后康复期 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
44 hearty | |
adj.热情友好的;衷心的;尽情的,纵情的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
45 undertaking | |
n.保证,许诺,事业 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
46 ethical | |
adj.伦理的,道德的,合乎道德的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
47 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
48 meditate | |
v.想,考虑,(尤指宗教上的)沉思,冥想 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
49 solitary | |
adj.孤独的,独立的,荒凉的;n.隐士 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
50 icebergs | |
n.冰山,流冰( iceberg的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
51 passionately | |
ad.热烈地,激烈地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
52 graceful | |
adj.优美的,优雅的;得体的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
53 exultation | |
n.狂喜,得意 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
54 crests | |
v.到达山顶(或浪峰)( crest的第三人称单数 );到达洪峰,达到顶点 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
55 exalted | |
adj.(地位等)高的,崇高的;尊贵的,高尚的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
56 platitudes | |
n.平常的话,老生常谈,陈词滥调( platitude的名词复数 );滥套子 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
57 kindled | |
(使某物)燃烧,着火( kindle的过去式和过去分词 ); 激起(感情等); 发亮,放光 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
58 coalition | |
n.结合体,同盟,结合,联合 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
59 vault | |
n.拱形圆顶,地窖,地下室 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
60 deformed | |
adj.畸形的;变形的;丑的,破相了的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
61 squatted | |
v.像动物一样蹲下( squat的过去式和过去分词 );非法擅自占用(土地或房屋);为获得其所有权;而占用某片公共用地。 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
62 oozed | |
v.(浓液等)慢慢地冒出,渗出( ooze的过去式和过去分词 );使(液体)缓缓流出;(浓液)渗出,慢慢流出 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
63 jug | |
n.(有柄,小口,可盛水等的)大壶,罐,盂 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
64 barbarian | |
n.野蛮人;adj.野蛮(人)的;未开化的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
65 harassed | |
adj. 疲倦的,厌烦的 动词harass的过去式和过去分词 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
欢迎访问英文小说网 |