Next morning Clarissa was up before anyone else. She dressed,and was out on deck, breathing the fresh air of a calm morning,and, making the circuit of the ship for the second time,she ran straight into the lean person of Mr. Grice, the steward1.
She apologised, and at the same time asked him to enlighten her:
what were those shiny brass2 stands for, half glass on the top?
She had been wondering, and could not guess. When he had done explaining,she cried enthusiastically:
"I do think that to be a sailor must be the finest thing in the world!""And what d'you know about it?" said Mr. Grice, kindling3 in astrange manner. "Pardon me. What does any man or woman broughtup in England know about the sea? They profess4 to know; but they don't."The bitterness with which he spoke5 was ominous6 of what was to come.
He led her off to his own quarters, and, sitting on the edgeof a brass-bound table, looking uncommonly7 like a sea-gull,with her white tapering8 body and thin alert face, Mrs. Dallowayhad to listen to the tirade9 of a fanatical man. Did she realise,to begin with, what a very small part of the world the land was?
How peaceful, how beautiful, how benignant in comparison the sea?
The deep waters could sustain Europe unaided if every earthly animaldied of the plague to-morrow. Mr. Grice recalled dreadful sightswhich he had seen in the richest city of the world--men and womenstanding in line hour after hour to receive a mug of greasy11 soup.
"And I thought of the good flesh down here waiting and asking tobe caught. I'm not exactly a Protestant, and I'm not a Catholic,but I could almost pray for the days of popery to come again--because of the fasts."As he talked he kept opening drawers and moving little glass jars.
Here were the treasures which the great ocean had bestowed12 upon him--pale fish in greenish liquids, blobs of jelly with streaming tresses,fish with lights in their heads, they lived so deep.
"They have swum about among bones," Clarissa sighed.
"You're thinking of Shakespeare," said Mr. Grice, and taking downa copy from a shelf well lined with books, recited in an emphaticnasal voice:
Full fathom13 five thy father lies,"A grand fellow, Shakespeare," he said, replacing the volume.
Clarissa was so glad to hear him say so.
"Which is your favourite play? I wonder if it's the same as mine?""_Henry the Fifth_," said Mr. Grice.
"Joy!" cried Clarissa. "It is!"_Hamlet_ was what you might call too introspective for Mr. Grice,the sonnets14 too passionate15; Henry the Fifth was to him the modelof an English gentleman. But his favourite reading was Huxley,Herbert Spencer, and Henry George; while Emerson and Thomas Hardyhe read for relaxation16. He was giving Mrs. Dalloway his viewsupon the present state of England when the breakfast bell rungso imperiously that she had to tear herself away, promising17 to comeback and be shown his sea-weeds.
The party, which had seemed so odd to her the night before,was already gathered round the table, still under the influenceof sleep, and therefore uncommunicative, but her entrance senta little flutter like a breath of air through them all.
"I've had the most interesting talk of my life!" she exclaimed,taking her seat beside Willoughby. "D'you realise that one of yourmen is a philosopher and a poet?""A very interesting fellow--that's what I always say," said Willoughby,distinguishing Mr. Grice. "Though Rachel finds him a bore.""He's a bore when he talks about currents," said Rachel. Her eyeswere full of sleep, but Mrs. Dalloway still seemed to her wonderful.
"I've never met a bore yet!" said Clarissa.
"And I should say the world was full of them!" exclaimed Helen.
But her beauty, which was radiant in the morning light, took thecontrariness from her words.
"I agree that it's the worst one can possibly say of any one,"said Clarissa. "How much rather one would be a murderer than a bore!"she added, with her usual air of saying something profound.
"One can fancy liking18 a murderer. It's the same with dogs.
Some dogs are awful bores, poor dears."It happened that Richard was sitting next to Rachel. She was curiouslyconscious of his presence and appearance--his well-cut clothes,his crackling shirt-front, his cuffs19 with blue rings round them,and the square-tipped, very clean fingers with the red stone onthe little finger of the left hand.
"We had a dog who was a bore and knew it," he said, addressing herin cool, easy tones. "He was a Skye terrier, one of thoselong chaps, with little feet poking20 out from their hair like--like caterpillars--no, like sofas I should say. Well, we had anotherdog at the same time, a black brisk animal--a Schipperke, I think,you call them. You can't imagine a greater contrast. The Skyeso slow and deliberate, looking up at you like some old gentlemanin the club, as much as to say, "You don't really mean it, do you?"and the Schipperke as quick as a knife. I liked the Skye best,I must confess. There was something pathetic about him."The story seemed to have no climax21.
"What happened to him?" Rachel asked.
"That's a very sad story," said Richard, lowering his voiceand peeling an apple. "He followed my wife in the car one dayand got run over by a brute22 of a cyclist.""Was he killed?" asked Rachel.
But Clarissa at her end of the table had overheard.
"Don't talk of it!" she cried. "It's a thing I can't bear to thinkof to this day."Surely the tears stood in her eyes?
"That's the painful thing about pets," said Mr. Dalloway; "they die.
The first sorrow I can remember was for the death of a dormouse.
I regret to say that I sat upon it. Still, that didn't make one anythe less sorry. Here lies the duck that Samuel Johnson sat on, eh?
I was big for my age.""Then we had canaries," he continued, "a pair of ring-doves, a lemur,and at one time a martin.""Did you live in the country?" Rachel asked him.
"We lived in the country for six months of the year. When I say'we' I mean four sisters, a brother, and myself. There's nothinglike coming of a large family. Sisters particularly are delightful23.""Dick, you were horribly spoilt!" cried Clarissa across the table.
"No, no. Appreciated," said Richard.
Rachel had other questions on the tip of her tongue; or rather oneenormous question, which she did not in the least know how to putinto words. The talk appeared too airy to admit of it.
"Please tell me--everything." That was what she wanted to say.
He had drawn24 apart one little chink and showed astonishing treasures.
It seemed to her incredible that a man like that should be willing totalk to her. He had sisters and pets, and once lived in the country.
She stirred her tea round and round; the bubbles which swam andclustered in the cup seemed to her like the union of their minds.
The talk meanwhile raced past her, and when Richard suddenly statedin a jocular tone of voice, "I'm sure Miss Vinrace, now, has secretleanings towards Catholicism," she had no idea what to answer,and Helen could not help laughing at the start she gave.
However, breakfast was over and Mrs. Dalloway was rising.
"I always think religion's like collecting beetles26," she said,summing up the discussion as she went up the stairs with Helen.
"One person has a passion for black beetles; another hasn't; it's nogood arguing about it. What's _your_ black beetle25 now?""I suppose it's my children," said Helen.
"Ah--that's different," Clarissa breathed. "Do tell me.
You have a boy, haven't you? Isn't it detestable, leaving them?"It was as though a blue shadow had fallen across a pool.
Their eyes became deeper, and their voices more cordial.
Instead of joining them as they began to pace the deck, Rachel wasindignant with the prosperous matrons, who made her feel outsidetheir world and motherless, and turning back, she left them abruptly27.
She slammed the door of her room, and pulled out her music.
It was all old music--Bach and Beethoven, Mozart and Purcell--the pages yellow, the engraving28 rough to the finger. In threeminutes she was deep in a very difficult, very classical fugue in A,and over her face came a queer remote impersonal29 expression ofcomplete absorption and anxious satisfaction. Now she stumbled;now she faltered30 and had to play the same bar twice over; but aninvisible line seemed to string the notes together, from whichrose a shape, a building. She was so far absorbed in this work,for it was really difficult to find how all these sounds shouldstand together, and drew upon the whole of her faculties31, that shenever heard a knock at the door. It was burst impulsively32 open,and Mrs. Dalloway stood in the room leaving the door open, so thata strip of the white deck and of the blue sea appeared throughthe opening. The shape of the Bach fugue crashed to the ground.
"Don't let me interrupt," Clarissa implored33. "I heard you playing,and I couldn't resist. I adore Bach!"Rachel flushed and fumbled34 her fingers in her lap. She stoodup awkwardly.
"It's too difficult," she said.
"But you were playing quite splendidly! I ought to have stayed outside.""No," said Rachel.
She slid _Cowper's_ _Letters_ and _Wuthering_ _Heights_ outof the arm-chair, so that Clarissa was invited to sit there.
"What a dear little room!" she said, looking round.
"Oh, _Cowper's_ _Letters>!" I've never read them. Are they nice?""Rather dull," said Rachel.
"He wrote awfully35 well, didn't he?" said Clarissa; "--if onelikes that kind of thing--finished his sentences and all that.
_Wuthering_ _Heights_! Ah--that's more in my line. I really couldn'texist without the Brontes! Don't you love them? Still, on the whole,I'd rather live without them than without Jane Austen."Lightly and at random36 though she spoke, her manner conveyedan extraordinary degree of sympathy and desire to befriend.
"Jane Austen? I don't like Jane Austen," said Rachel.
"You monster!" Clarissa exclaimed. "I can only just forgive you.
Tell me why?""She's so--so--well, so like a tight plait," Rachel floundered.
"Ah--I see what you mean. But I don't agree. And you won't whenyou're older. At your age I only liked Shelley. I can remembersobbing over him in the garden.
He has outsoared the shadow of our night,Envy and calumny37 and hate and pain-- you remember?
Can touch him not and torture not againFrom the contagion38 of the world's slow stain.
How divine!--and yet what nonsense!" She looked lightly round the room.
"I always think it's _living_, not dying, that counts. I reallyrespect some snuffy old stockbroker39 who's gone on adding up columnafter column all his days, and trotting40 back to his villa41 at Brixtonwith some old pug dog he worships, and a dreary42 little wife sittingat the end of the table, and going off to Margate for a fortnight--I assure you I know heaps like that--well, they seem to me _really_nobler than poets whom every one worships, just because they'regeniuses and die young. But I don't expect _you_ to agree with me!"She pressed Rachel's shoulder.
"Um-m-m--" she went on quoting--Unrest which men miscall delight--"when you're my age you'll see that the world is _crammed_ withdelightful things. I think young people make such a mistake about that--not letting themselves be happy. I sometimes think that happinessis the only thing that counts. I don't know you well enough to say,but I should guess you might be a little inclined to--when one's youngand attractive--I'm going to say it!--_every_thing's at one's feet."She glanced round as much as to say, "not only a few stuffy43 booksand Bach.""I long to ask questions," she continued. "You interest me so much.
If I'm impertinent, you must just box my ears.""And I--I want to ask questions," said Rachel with such earnestnessthat Mrs. Dalloway had to check her smile.
"D'you mind if we walk?" she said. "The air's so delicious."She snuffed it like a racehorse as they shut the door and stoodon deck.
"Isn't it good to be alive?" she exclaimed, and drew Rachel's armwithin hers.
"Look, look! How exquisite44!"The shores of Portugal were beginning to lose their substance;but the land was still the land, though at a great distance.
They could distinguish the little towns that were sprinkled inthe folds of the hills, and the smoke rising faintly. The townsappeared to be very small in comparison with the great purplemountains behind them.
"Honestly, though," said Clarissa, having looked, "I don't like views.
They're too inhuman45." They walked on.
"How odd it is!" she continued impulsively. "This time yesterdaywe'd never met. I was packing in a stuffy little room in the hotel.
We know absolutely nothing about each other--and yet--I feel as if I_did_ know you!""You have children--your husband was in Parliament?""You've never been to school, and you live--?""With my aunts at Richmond.""Richmond?""You see, my aunts like the Park. They like the quiet.""And you don't! I understand!" Clarissa laughed.
"I like walking in the Park alone; but not--with the dogs,"she finished.
"No; and some people _are_ dogs; aren't they?" said Clarissa,as if she had guessed a secret. "But not every one--oh no,not every one.""Not every one," said Rachel, and stopped.
"I can quite imagine you walking alone," said Clarissa: "and thinking--in a little world of your own. But how you will enjoy it--some day!""I shall enjoy walking with a man--is that what you mean?" said Rachel,regarding Mrs. Dalloway with her large enquiring46 eyes.
"I wasn't thinking of a man particularly," said Clarissa.
"But you will.""No. I shall never marry," Rachel determined47.
"I shouldn't be so sure of that," said Clarissa. Her sidelongglance told Rachel that she found her attractive although shewas inexplicably48 amused.
"Why do people marry?" Rachel asked.
"That's what you're going to find out," Clarissa laughed.
Rachel followed her eyes and found that they rested for a second,on the robust49 figure of Richard Dalloway, who was engaged in strikinga match on the sole of his boot; while Willoughby expounded50 something,which seemed to be of great interest to them both.
"There's nothing like it," she concluded. "Do tell me aboutthe Ambroses. Or am I asking too many questions?""I find you easy to talk to," said Rachel.
The short sketch51 of the Ambroses was, however, somewhat perfunctory,and contained little but the fact that Mr. Ambrose was her uncle.
"Your mother's brother?"When a name has dropped out of use, the lightest touch upon it tells.
Mrs. Dalloway went on:
"Are you like your mother?""No; she was different," said Rachel.
She was overcome by an intense desire to tell Mrs. Dalloway thingsshe had never told any one--things she had not realised herselfuntil this moment.
"I am lonely," she began. "I want--" She did not know what she wanted,so that she could not finish the sentence; but her lip quivered.
But it seemed that Mrs. Dalloway was able to understand without words.
"I know," she said, actually putting one arm round Rachel's shoulder.
"When I was your age I wanted too. No one understood until Imet Richard. He gave me all I wanted. He's man and woman as well."Her eyes rested upon Mr. Dalloway, leaning upon the rail,still talking. "Don't think I say that because I'm his wife--I see his faults more clearly than I see any one else's. Whatone wants in the person one lives with is that they should keepone at one's best. I often wonder what I've done to be so happy!"she exclaimed, and a tear slid down her cheek. She wiped it away,squeezed Rachel's hand, and exclaimed:
"How good life is!" At that moment, standing10 out in the fresh breeze,with the sun upon the waves, and Mrs. Dalloway's hand upon her arm,it seemed indeed as if life which had been unnamed before wasinfinitely wonderful, and too good to be true.
Here Helen passed them, and seeing Rachel arm-in-arm with acomparative stranger, looking excited, was amused, but at the same timeslightly irritated. But they were immediately joined by Richard, who hadenjoyed a very interesting talk with Willoughby and was in a sociable52 mood.
"Observe my Panama," he said, touching53 the brim of his hat.
"Are you aware, Miss Vinrace, how much can be done to induce fineweather by appropriate headdress? I have determined that it is a hotsummer day; I warn you that nothing you can say will shake me.
Therefore I am going to sit down. I advise you to follow my example."Three chairs in a row invited them to be seated.
Leaning back, Richard surveyed the waves.
"That's a very pretty blue," he said. "But there's a little toomuch of it. Variety is essential to a view. Thus, if you havehills you ought to have a river; if a river, hills. The best viewin the world in my opinion is that from Boars Hill on a fine day--it must be a fine day, mark you--A rug?--Oh, thank you, my dear.
. . . in that case you have also the advantage of associations--the Past.""D'you want to talk, Dick, or shall I read aloud?"Clarissa had fetched a book with the rugs.
"_Persuasion_," announced Richard, examining the volume.
"That's for Miss Vinrace," said Clarissa. "She can't bear ourbeloved Jane.""That--if I may say so--is because you have not read her," said Richard.
"She is incomparably the greatest female writer we possess.""She is the greatest," he continued, "and for this reason:
she does not attempt to write like a man. Every other woman does;on that account, I don't read 'em.""Produce your instances, Miss Vinrace," he went on, joining hisfinger-tips. "I'm ready to be converted."He waited, while Rachel vainly tried to vindicate54 her sex fromthe slight he put upon it.
"I'm afraid he's right," said Clarissa. "He generally is--the wretch55!""I brought _Persuasion_," she went on, "because I thought it wasa little less threadbare than the others--though, Dick, it's nogood _your_ pretending to know Jane by heart, considering that shealways sends you to sleep!""After the labours of legislation, I deserve sleep," said Richard.
"You're not to think about those guns," said Clarissa, seeing thathis eye, passing over the waves, still sought the land meditatively,"or about navies, or empires, or anything." So saying she openedthe book and began to read:
"'Sir Walter Elliott, of Kellynch Hall, in Somersetshire, was a man who,for his own amusement, never took up any book but the _Baronetage_'--don't you know Sir Walter?--'There he found occupation for an idle hour,and consolation56 in a distressed57 one.' She does write well,doesn't she? 'There--'" She read on in a light humorous voice.
She was determined that Sir Walter should take her husband'smind off the guns of Britain, and divert him in an exquisite,quaint, sprightly58, and slightly ridiculous world. After a time itappeared that the sun was sinking in that world, and the pointsbecoming softer. Rachel looked up to see what caused the change.
Richard's eyelids59 were closing and opening; opening and closing.
A loud nasal breath announced that he no longer considered appearances,that he was sound asleep.
"Triumph!" Clarissa whispered at the end of a sentence. Suddenly sheraised her hand in protest. A sailor hesitated; she gave the bookto Rachel, and stepped lightly to take the message--"Mr. Gricewished to know if it was convenient," etc. She followed him.
Ridley, who had prowled unheeded, started forward, stopped, and,with a gesture of disgust, strode off to his study. The sleepingpolitician was left in Rachel's charge. She read a sentence,and took a look at him. In sleep he looked like a coat hangingat the end of a bed; there were all the wrinkles, and the sleevesand trousers kept their shape though no longer filled out by legsand arms. You can then best judge the age and state of the coat.
She looked him all over until it seemed to her that he must protest.
He was a man of forty perhaps; and here there were lines roundhis eyes, and there curious clefts60 in his cheeks. Slightly batteredhe appeared, but dogged and in the prime of life.
"Sisters and a dormouse and some canaries," Rachel murmured,never taking her eyes off him. "I wonder, I wonder" she ceased,her chin upon her hand, still looking at him. A bell chimed behind them,and Richard raised his head. Then he opened his eyes which wore fora second the queer look of a shortsighted person's whose spectaclesare lost. It took him a moment to recover from the improprietyof having snored, and possibly grunted62, before a young lady. To wakeand find oneself left alone with one was also slightly disconcerting.
"I suppose I've been dozing," he said. "What's happenedto everyone? Clarissa?""Mrs. Dalloway has gone to look at Mr. Grice's fish," Rachel replied.
"I might have guessed," said Richard. "It's a common occurrence.
And how have you improved the shining hour? Have you becomea convert?""I don't think I've read a line," said Rachel.
"That's what I always find. There are too many things to look at.
I find nature very stimulating63 myself. My best ideas have come to meout of doors.""When you were walking?""Walking--riding--yachting--I suppose the most momentous64 conversationsof my life took place while perambulating the great court at Trinity.
I was at both universities. It was a fad65 of my father's. He thoughtit broadening to the mind. I think I agree with him. I can remember--what an age ago it seems!--settling the basis of a future state withthe present Secretary for India. We thought ourselves very wise.
I'm not sure we weren't. We were happy, Miss Vinrace, and we were young--gifts which make for wisdom.""Have you done what you said you'd do?" she asked.
"A searching question! I answer--Yes and No. If on the one hand Ihave not accomplished66 what I set out to accomplish--which of us does!--on the other I can fairly say this: I have not lowered my ideal."He looked resolutely67 at a sea-gull, as though his ideal flewon the wings of the bird.
"But," said Rachel, "what _is_ your ideal?""There you ask too much, Miss Vinrace," said Richard playfully.
She could only say that she wanted to know, and Richard wassufficiently amused to answer.
"Well, how shall I reply? In one word--Unity68. Unity of aim,of dominion69, of progress. The dispersion of the best ideas overthe greatest area.""The English?""I grant that the English seem, on the whole, whiter than most men,their records cleaner. But, good Lord, don't run away with the ideathat I don't see the drawbacks--horrors--unmentionable things donein our very midst! I'm under no illusions. Few people, I suppose,have fewer illusions than I have. Have you ever been in a factory,Miss Vinrace!--No, I suppose not--I may say I hope not.
As for Rachel, she had scarcely walked through a poor street,and always under the escort of father, maid, or aunts.
"I was going to say that if you'd ever seen the kind of thingthat's going on round you, you'd understand what it is that makesme and men like me politicians. You asked me a moment ago whetherI'd done what I set out to do. Well, when I consider my life,there is one fact I admit that I'm proud of; owing to me some thousandsof girls in Lancashire--and many thousands to come after them--can spend an hour every day in the open air which their mothershad to spend over their looms70. I'm prouder of that, I own,than I should be of writing Keats and Shelley into the bargain!"It became painful to Rachel to be one of those who write Keatsand Shelley. She liked Richard Dalloway, and warmed as he warmed.
He seemed to mean what he said.
"I know nothing!" she exclaimed.
"It's far better that you should know nothing," he said paternally,"and you wrong yourself, I'm sure. You play very nicely, I'm told,and I've no doubt you've read heaps of learned books."Elderly banter71 would no longer check her.
"You talk of unity," she said. "You ought to make me understand.""I never allow my wife to talk politics," he said seriously.
"For this reason. It is impossible for human beings, constituted asthey are, both to fight and to have ideals. If I have preserved mine,as I am thankful to say that in great measure I have, it is dueto the fact that I have been able to come home to my wife inthe evening and to find that she has spent her day in calling,music, play with the children, domestic duties--what you will;her illusions have not been destroyed. She gives me courage to go on.
The strain of public life is very great," he added.
This made him appear a battered61 martyr72, parting every day with someof the finest gold, in the service of mankind.
"I can't think," Rachel exclaimed, "how any one does it!""Explain, Miss Vinrace," said Richard. "This is a matter I wantto clear up."His kindness was genuine, and she determined to take the chance hegave her, although to talk to a man of such worth and authoritymade her heart beat.
"It seems to me like this," she began, doing her best firstto recollect73 and then to expose her shivering private visions.
"There's an old widow in her room, somewhere, let us supposein the suburbs of Leeds."Richard bent74 his head to show that he accepted the widow.
"In London you're spending your life, talking, writing things,getting bills through, missing what seems natural. The result of itall is that she goes to her cupboard and finds a little more tea,a few lumps of sugar, or a little less tea and a newspaper.
Widows all over the country I admit do this. Still, there's the mindof the widow--the affections; those you leave untouched. But youwaste you own.""If the widow goes to her cupboard and finds it bare," Richard answered,"her spiritual outlook we may admit will be affected75. If I maypick holes in your philosophy, Miss Vinrace, which has its merits,I would point out that a human being is not a set of compartments,but an organism. Imagination, Miss Vinrace; use your imagination;that's where you young Liberals fail. Conceive the world as a whole.
Now for your second point; when you assert that in trying to setthe house in order for the benefit of the young generation I amwasting my higher capabilities76, I totally disagree with you.
I can conceive no more exalted77 aim--to be the citizen of the Empire.
Look at it in this way, Miss Vinrace; conceive the state as acomplicated machine; we citizens are parts of that machine;some fulfil more important duties; others (perhaps I am one of them)serve only to connect some obscure parts of the mechanism78, concealedfrom the public eye. Yet if the meanest screw fails in its task,the proper working of the whole is imperilled."It was impossible to combine the image of a lean black widow, gazing outof her window, and longing79 for some one to talk to, with the imageof a vast machine, such as one sees at South Kensington, thumping80,thumping, thumping. The attempt at communication had been a failure.
"We don't seem to understand each other," she said.
"Shall I say something that will make you very angry?" he replied.
"It won't," said Rachel.
"Well, then; no woman has what I may call the political instinct.
You have very great virtues81; I am the first, I hope, to admit that;but I have never met a woman who even saw what is meantby statesmanship. I am going to make you still more angry.
I hope that I never shall meet such a woman. Now, Miss Vinrace,are we enemies for life?"Vanity, irritation82, and a thrusting desire to be understood,urged her to make another attempt.
"Under the streets, in the sewers83, in the wires, in the telephones,there is something alive; is that what you mean? In things likedust-carts, and men mending roads? You feel that all the time whenyou walk about London, and when you turn on a tap and the water comes?""Certainly," said Richard. "I understand you to mean thatthe whole of modern society is based upon cooperative effort.
If only more people would realise that, Miss Vinrace, there wouldbe fewer of your old widows in solitary84 lodgings85!"Rachel considered.
"Are you a Liberal or are you a Conservative?" she asked.
"I call myself a Conservative forconvenience sake," said Richard, smiling. "Butthere is more in common between the two parties than people generally allow."There was a pause, which did not come on Rachel's side from any lackof things to say; as usual she could not say them, and was furtherconfused by the fact that the time for talking probably ran short.
She was haunted by absurd jumbled86 ideas--how, if one went backfar enough, everything perhaps was intelligible87; everything wasin common; for the mammoths who pastured in the fields of RichmondHigh Street had turned into paving stones and boxes full of ribbon,and her aunts.
"Did you say you lived in the country when you were a child?"she asked.
Crude as her manners seemed to him, Richard was flattered.
There could be no doubt that her interest was genuine.
"I did," he smiled.
"And what happened?" she asked. "Or do I ask too many questions?""I'm flattered, I assure you. But--let me see--what happened?
Well, riding, lessons, sisters. There was an enchanted88 rubbish heap,I remember, where all kinds of queer things happened. Odd, what thingsimpress children! I can remember the look of the place to this day.
It's a fallacy to think that children are happy. They're not;they're unhappy. I've never suffered so much as I did when I wasa child.""Why?" she asked.
"I didn't get on well with my father," said Richard shortly.
"He was a very able man, but hard. Well--it makes one determinednot to sin in that way oneself. Children never forget injustice89.
They forgive heaps of things grown-up people mind; but that sin isthe unpardonable sin. Mind you--I daresay I was a difficult childto manage; but when I think what I was ready to give! No, I wasmore sinned against than sinning. And then I went to school,where I did very fairly well; and and then, as I say, my fathersent me to both universities. . . . D'you know, Miss Vinrace,you've made me think? How little, after all, one can tell anybodyabout one's life! Here I sit; there you sit; both, I doubt not,chock-full of the most interesting experiences, ideas, emotions;yet how communicate? I've told you what every second person you meetmight tell you.""I don't think so," she said. "It's the way of saying things,isn't it, not the things?""True," said Richard. "Perfectly90 true." He paused. "When Ilook back over my life--I'm forty-two--what are the great factsthat stand out? What were the revelations, if I may call them so?
The misery91 of the poor and--" (he hesitated and pitched over) "love!"Upon that word he lowered his voice; it was a word that seemedto unveil the skies for Rachel.
"It's an odd thing to say to a young lady," he continued.
"But have you any idea what--what I mean by that? No, of course not.
I don't use the word in a conventional sense. I use it asyoung men use it. Girls are kept very ignorant, aren't they?
Perhaps it's wise--perhaps--You _don't_ know?"He spoke as if he had lost consciousness of what he was saying.
"No; I don't," she said, scarcely speaking above her breath.
"Warships92, Dick! Over there! Look!" Clarissa, released from Mr. Grice,appreciative of all his seaweeds, skimmed towards them, gesticulating.
She had sighted two sinister93 grey vessels94, low in the water,and bald as bone, one closely following the other with the lookof eyeless beasts seeking their prey95. Consciousness returnedto Richard instantly.
"By George!" he exclaimed, and stood shielding his eyes.
"Ours, Dick?" said Clarissa.
"The Mediterranean96 Fleet," he answered.
"The _Euphrosyne_ was slowly dipping her flag. Richard raised his hat.
Convulsively Clarissa squeezed Rachel's hand.
"Aren't you glad to be English!" she said.
The warships drew past, casting a curious effect of disciplineand sadness upon the waters, and it was not until they were againinvisible that people spoke to each other naturally. At lunchthe talk was all of valour and death, and the magnificent qualities ofBritish admirals. Clarissa quoted one poet, Willoughby quoted another.
Life on board a man-of-war was splendid, so they agreed, and sailors,whenever one met them, were quite especially nice and simple.
This being so, no one liked it when Helen remarked that it seemedto her as wrong to keep sailors as to keep a Zoo, and that as fordying on a battle-field, surely it was time we ceased to praisecourage--"or to write bad poetry about it," snarled97 Pepper.
But Helen was really wondering why Rachel, sitting silent,looked so queer and flushed.
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1
steward
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| n.乘务员，服务员；看管人；膳食管理员 | |
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brass
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| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
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kindling
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| n. 点火, 可燃物 动词kindle的现在分词形式 | |
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profess
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| v.声称，冒称，以...为业，正式接受入教，表明信仰 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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ominous
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| adj.不祥的，不吉的，预兆的，预示的 | |
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uncommonly
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| adv. 稀罕(极，非常) | |
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tapering
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| adj.尖端细的 | |
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tirade
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| n.冗长的攻击性演说 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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greasy
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| adj. 多脂的，油脂的 | |
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bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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fathom
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| v.领悟，彻底了解 | |
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sonnets
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| n.十四行诗( sonnet的名词复数 ) | |
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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relaxation
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| n.松弛，放松；休息；消遣；娱乐 | |
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promising
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| adj.有希望的，有前途的 | |
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liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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cuffs
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| n.袖口( cuff的名词复数 )v.掌打，拳打( cuff的第三人称单数 ) | |
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poking
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| n. 刺，戳，袋 vt. 拨开，刺，戳 vi. 戳，刺，捅，搜索，伸出，行动散慢 | |
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21
climax
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| n.顶点；高潮；v.(使)达到顶点 | |
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brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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24
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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beetle
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| n.甲虫，近视眼的人 | |
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beetles
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| n.甲虫( beetle的名词复数 ) | |
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abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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28
engraving
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| n.版画；雕刻（作品）；雕刻艺术；镌版术v.在（硬物）上雕刻（字，画等）( engrave的现在分词 )；将某事物深深印在（记忆或头脑中） | |
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29
impersonal
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| adj.无个人感情的，与个人无关的，非人称的 | |
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faltered
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| （嗓音）颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 )； 支吾其词； 蹒跚； 摇晃 | |
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31
faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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impulsively
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| adv.冲动地 | |
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implored
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| 恳求或乞求（某人）( implore的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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34
fumbled
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| （笨拙地）摸索或处理（某事物）( fumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 乱摸，笨拙地弄； 使落下 | |
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awfully
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| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
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random
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| adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
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calumny
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| n.诽谤，污蔑，中伤 | |
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38
contagion
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| n.(通过接触的疾病)传染；蔓延 | |
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stockbroker
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| n.股票（或证券），经纪人（或机构） | |
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40
trotting
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| 小跑，急走( trot的现在分词 )； 匆匆忙忙地走 | |
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41
villa
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| n.别墅，城郊小屋 | |
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42
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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43
stuffy
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| adj.不透气的，闷热的 | |
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44
exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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45
inhuman
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| adj.残忍的，不人道的，无人性的 | |
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46
enquiring
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| a.爱打听的，显得好奇的 | |
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47
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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48
inexplicably
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| adv.无法说明地，难以理解地，令人难以理解的是 | |
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49
robust
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| adj.强壮的，强健的，粗野的，需要体力的，浓的 | |
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50
expounded
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| 论述，详细讲解( expound的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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51
sketch
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| n.草图；梗概；素描；v.素描；概述 | |
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52
sociable
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| adj.好交际的，友好的，合群的 | |
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53
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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54
vindicate
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| v.为…辩护或辩解，辩明；证明…正确 | |
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55
wretch
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| n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人 | |
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56
consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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57
distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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58
sprightly
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| adj.愉快的，活泼的 | |
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59
eyelids
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| n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 )；眼睛也不眨一下；不露声色；面不改色 | |
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60
clefts
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| n.裂缝( cleft的名词复数 )；裂口；cleave的过去式和过去分词；进退维谷 | |
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61
battered
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| adj.磨损的；v.连续猛击；磨损 | |
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62
grunted
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| （猪等）作呼噜声( grunt的过去式和过去分词 )； （指人）发出类似的哼声； 咕哝着说 | |
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63
stimulating
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| adj.有启发性的，能激发人思考的 | |
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64
momentous
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| adj.重要的，重大的 | |
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65
fad
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| n.时尚；一时流行的狂热；一时的爱好 | |
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66
accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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67
resolutely
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| adj.坚决地，果断地 | |
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68
unity
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| n.团结，联合，统一；和睦，协调 | |
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69
dominion
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| n.统治，管辖，支配权；领土，版图 | |
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70
looms
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| n.织布机( loom的名词复数 )v.隐约出现，阴森地逼近( loom的第三人称单数 )；隐约出现，阴森地逼近 | |
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71
banter
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| n.嘲弄，戏谑；v.取笑，逗弄，开玩笑 | |
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72
martyr
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| n.烈士，殉难者；vt.杀害，折磨，牺牲 | |
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73
recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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74
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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76
capabilities
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| n.能力( capability的名词复数 )；可能；容量；[复数]潜在能力 | |
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77
exalted
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| adj.(地位等)高的，崇高的；尊贵的，高尚的 | |
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78
mechanism
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| n.机械装置；机构，结构 | |
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79
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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80
thumping
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| adj.重大的，巨大的；重击的；尺码大的；极好的adv.极端地；非常地v.重击(thump的现在分词)；狠打；怦怦地跳；全力支持 | |
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81
virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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82
irritation
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| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
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83
sewers
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| n.阴沟，污水管，下水道( sewer的名词复数 ) | |
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84
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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85
lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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86
jumbled
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| adj.混乱的；杂乱的 | |
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87
intelligible
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| adj.可理解的，明白易懂的，清楚的 | |
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88
enchanted
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| adj. 被施魔法的，陶醉的，入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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89
injustice
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| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
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90
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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91
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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92
warships
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| 军舰，战舰( warship的名词复数 )； 舰只 | |
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93
sinister
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| adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的 | |
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94
vessels
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| n.血管( vessel的名词复数 )；船；容器；（具有特殊品质或接受特殊品质的）人 | |
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95
prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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Mediterranean
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| adj.地中海的；地中海沿岸的 | |
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snarled
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| v.（指狗）吠，嗥叫， （人）咆哮( snarl的过去式和过去分词 )；咆哮着说，厉声地说 | |
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