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CHAPTER 22.
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 During the course of the winter which followed my visit to the Long-Beach a great change took place in our family—my brother departed for his first campaign.
 
He was, as I have said, about fourteen years older than I. I had had very little time to become acquainted with him, to attach myself to him, for his preparation for his vocation1 made it necessary for him to be away from home a great deal. I scarcely ever went into his room where, scattered2 upon the table, there was an appalling3 number of large books. This room was pervaded4 with the strong odor of tobacco; and I dared not go near it for fear that I would meet his comrades, young officers, or students like himself. I had heard, also, that he was not always well-behaved, that sometimes he did not come in until very late at night, and that often my father had found it necessary to give him a serious talking to; secretly I greatly disapproved5 of his conduct.
 
But his approaching departure strengthened my affection, and caused me extreme sorrow.
 
He was going to Polynesia, to Tahiti, almost to the end of the world, and he expected to be away four years. To me that seemed an almost endless absence, for it represented half of my own age.
 
I watched, with the greatest interest, the preparations that he made for his voyage. The iron-bound trunks were packed with care. He wrapped the gilt6-embroidered uniform and his sword in a quantity of tissue paper, and put them away with the same care one bestows7 upon a mummy when it is relaid in its metal case. All of these things augmented8 the impression that I had of the distance and dangers of the long voyage about to be undertaken by my brother.
 
A sort of melancholy9 rested upon every one in the house, which became deeper and more and more noticeable as the day for the separation drew near. At our meals we were more silent; advice from my father and assurances from my brother was the substance of most of the conversations, and I listened meditatively10 without saying a word.
 
The day before my brother left he confided11 to my care—and I was greatly honored to have him do so—the many fragile little things that he had upon his mantel-piece; these he bade me guard faithfully until his return.
 
He then made me a present of a handsome gilt edged, illustrated12 book entitled, “A Voyage in Polynesia.” It was the only book that in my early childhood I had an affection for, and I constantly turned its pages with eager pleasure. In the front of it there was an engraving13 of a very pretty dark woman who, crowned with reeds, was sitting gracefully14 under a palm tree. Under this picture was printed: “Portrait of her Majesty15, Pomare IV., Queen of Tahiti.” Further over in the book there was a picture of two beautiful maidens16, with naked shoulders and crowned heads, standing17 at the edge of the sea, and this was entitled: “Two Young Tahitian Girls upon the Beach.”
 
Upon the day of my brother's departure, at the last hour, the preparations being over, and the large trunks closed and locked, we gathered in the parlor18 as solemnly as if we had come together for a funeral. A chapter of the Bible was read and then we had family prayers. . . . Four years! and during that time the width of the earth between us and our loved one!
 
I recall particularly my mother's face during the farewell scene; she was seated in an arm chair beside my brother. After the prayer she had upon her face an infinitely19 sweet, but wistful smile, and an expression of submissive trust; but suddenly an unexpected change came over her features, and in spite of her efforts at self-control her tears flowed. I had never before seen my mother weep, and it caused me the greatest anguish20.
 
The first few days after his departure I had a feeling of sadness, and I missed him greatly; often and often I went into his room, and the little treasures which he had confided to my care were as sacred as holy relics21.
 
Upon a map of the world I had my parents point out to me the route of his journey, a journey which would take about five months. To me his return belonged to an inconceivable and unreal future; and, most strange of all, what spoiled for me the pleasure of his home-coming, was that I at that time would be twelve or thirteen years of age—almost a big boy in fact.
 
Unlike most other children,—especially unlike those of to-day—who are eager to become men and women as speedily as possible, I had a terror of growing up, which became more and more accentuated22 as I grew older. I argued about it to myself, and I wrote about it, and when any one asked me why I had such a feeling I answered, since I could not think of a better reason: “It seems to me that it will be very wearisome to be a man.” I believe that it is an extremely singular state of mind, an altogether unique one perhaps, this shrinking away from life at its very beginning; I was not able to see a horizon before me: I could not picture my future to myself as so many can; before me there was nothing but impenetrable darkness, a great leaden curtain shut off my view.

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 vocation 8h6wB     
n.职业,行业
参考例句:
  • She struggled for years to find her true vocation.她多年来苦苦寻找真正适合自己的职业。
  • She felt it was her vocation to minister to the sick.她觉得照料病人是她的天职。
2 scattered 7jgzKF     
adj.分散的,稀疏的;散步的;疏疏落落的
参考例句:
  • Gathering up his scattered papers,he pushed them into his case.他把散乱的文件收拾起来,塞进文件夹里。
3 appalling iNwz9     
adj.骇人听闻的,令人震惊的,可怕的
参考例句:
  • The search was hampered by appalling weather conditions.恶劣的天气妨碍了搜寻工作。
  • Nothing can extenuate such appalling behaviour.这种骇人听闻的行径罪无可恕。
4 pervaded cf99c400da205fe52f352ac5c1317c13     
v.遍及,弥漫( pervade的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • A retrospective influence pervaded the whole performance. 怀旧的影响弥漫了整个演出。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The air is pervaded by a smell [smoking]. 空气中弥散着一种气味[烟味]。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
5 disapproved 3ee9b7bf3f16130a59cb22aafdea92d0     
v.不赞成( disapprove的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • My parents disapproved of my marriage. 我父母不赞成我的婚事。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • She disapproved of her son's indiscriminate television viewing. 她不赞成儿子不加选择地收看电视。 来自《简明英汉词典》
6 gilt p6UyB     
adj.镀金的;n.金边证券
参考例句:
  • The plates have a gilt edge.这些盘子的边是镀金的。
  • The rest of the money is invested in gilt.其余的钱投资于金边证券。
7 bestows 37d65133a4a734d50d7d7e9a205b8ef8     
赠给,授予( bestow的第三人称单数 )
参考例句:
  • Second, Xie Lingyun bestows on basic subject and emotion connotation. 谢灵运赋的基本主题及情感内涵。
  • And the frigid climate bestows Heilongjiang rich resources of ice and snow. 寒冷的气候赋予了其得天独厚的冰雪资源。
8 Augmented b45f39670f767b2c62c8d6b211cbcb1a     
adj.增音的 动词augment的过去式和过去分词形式
参考例句:
  • 'scientists won't be replaced," he claims, "but they will be augmented." 他宣称:“科学家不会被取代;相反,他们会被拓展。” 来自英汉非文学 - 科学史
  • The impact of the report was augmented by its timing. 由于发表的时间选得好,这篇报导的影响更大了。
9 melancholy t7rz8     
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的
参考例句:
  • All at once he fell into a state of profound melancholy.他立即陷入无尽的忧思之中。
  • He felt melancholy after he failed the exam.这次考试没通过,他感到很郁闷。
10 meditatively 1840c96c2541871bf074763dc24f786a     
adv.冥想地
参考例句:
  • The old man looked meditatively at the darts board. 老头儿沉思不语,看着那投镖板。 来自英汉文学
  • "Well,'said the foreman, scratching his ear meditatively, "we do need a stitcher. “这--"工头沉思地搔了搔耳朵。 "我们确实需要一个缝纫工。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
11 confided 724f3f12e93e38bec4dda1e47c06c3b1     
v.吐露(秘密,心事等)( confide的过去式和过去分词 );(向某人)吐露(隐私、秘密等)
参考例句:
  • She confided all her secrets to her best friend. 她向她最要好的朋友倾吐了自己所有的秘密。
  • He confided to me that he had spent five years in prison. 他私下向我透露,他蹲过五年监狱。 来自《简明英汉词典》
12 illustrated 2a891807ad5907f0499171bb879a36aa     
adj. 有插图的,列举的 动词illustrate的过去式和过去分词
参考例句:
  • His lecture was illustrated with slides taken during the expedition. 他在讲演中使用了探险时拍摄到的幻灯片。
  • The manufacturing Methods: Will be illustrated in the next chapter. 制作方法将在下一章说明。
13 engraving 4tyzmn     
n.版画;雕刻(作品);雕刻艺术;镌版术v.在(硬物)上雕刻(字,画等)( engrave的现在分词 );将某事物深深印在(记忆或头脑中)
参考例句:
  • He collected an old engraving of London Bridge. 他收藏了一张古老的伦敦桥版画。 来自辞典例句
  • Some writing has the precision of a steel engraving. 有的字体严谨如同钢刻。 来自辞典例句
14 gracefully KfYxd     
ad.大大方方地;优美地
参考例句:
  • She sank gracefully down onto a cushion at his feet. 她优雅地坐到他脚旁的垫子上。
  • The new coats blouse gracefully above the hip line. 新外套在臀围线上优美地打着褶皱。
15 majesty MAExL     
n.雄伟,壮丽,庄严,威严;最高权威,王权
参考例句:
  • The king had unspeakable majesty.国王有无法形容的威严。
  • Your Majesty must make up your mind quickly!尊贵的陛下,您必须赶快做出决定!
16 maidens 85662561d697ae675e1f32743af22a69     
处女( maiden的名词复数 ); 少女; 未婚女子; (板球运动)未得分的一轮投球
参考例句:
  • stories of knights and fair maidens 关于骑士和美女的故事
  • Transplantation is not always successful in the matter of flowers or maidens. 花儿移栽往往并不成功,少女们换了环境也是如此。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
17 standing 2hCzgo     
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的
参考例句:
  • After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
  • They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
18 parlor v4MzU     
n.店铺,营业室;会客室,客厅
参考例句:
  • She was lying on a small settee in the parlor.她躺在客厅的一张小长椅上。
  • Is there a pizza parlor in the neighborhood?附近有没有比萨店?
19 infinitely 0qhz2I     
adv.无限地,无穷地
参考例句:
  • There is an infinitely bright future ahead of us.我们有无限光明的前途。
  • The universe is infinitely large.宇宙是无限大的。
20 anguish awZz0     
n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦,烦恼
参考例句:
  • She cried out for anguish at parting.分手时,她由于痛苦而失声大哭。
  • The unspeakable anguish wrung his heart.难言的痛苦折磨着他的心。
21 relics UkMzSr     
[pl.]n.遗物,遗迹,遗产;遗体,尸骸
参考例句:
  • The area is a treasure house of archaeological relics. 这个地区是古文物遗迹的宝库。
  • Xi'an is an ancient city full of treasures and saintly relics. 西安是一个有很多宝藏和神圣的遗物的古老城市。
22 accentuated 8d9d7b3caa6bc930125ff5f3e132e5fd     
v.重读( accentuate的过去式和过去分词 );使突出;使恶化;加重音符号于
参考例句:
  • The problem is accentuated by a shortage of water and electricity. 缺乏水电使问题愈加严重。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Her black hair accentuated the delicateness of her skin. 她那乌黑的头发更衬托出她洁嫩的皮肤。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》


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