Our neighbors, the D——-s, accompanied by Lucette, always came at eight o'clock Sunday evenings, and another neighbor visited us also upon this same evening. These latter brought with them their little daughter Marguerite, who gradually insinuated4 herself into my affections.
That year Marguerite and I brought the Sunday winter evenings, over which the thought of the tasks of the morrow brooded sadly, to a close with an entirely5 new amusement. After the tea, when I felt that the party was about to break up, I would hurry little Marguerite into the dining-room, and there we rushed madly about the round table and tried to catch or tag each other,—we played furiously. It goes without saying that she was usually caught immediately and tagged very often, and I scarcely ever; it therefore fell out that it was almost always her turn to chase me, and she did it desperately6. We struck the table with our bodies, and yelled, and carried on our play with the greatest imaginable uproar7. We succeeded in turning up the rugs, in disarranging the chairs, and in making havoc8 of everything. We soon tired of our play, however,—the truth is I was too old to care greatly for such frolics. I had scarcely any feeling save one of melancholy9 in spite of the wild sport I indulged in, for over me hovered10 the chilling thought that in the morning the usual round of dry and laborious11 lessons would begin. My furious revel12 was simply a way of prolonging that day of truce13, of making it count to its very last moment; it was an attempt to divert my thoughts by making plenty of noise. It was also my way of hurling14 a defiance15 at those tasks that I had left undone16. My negligence17 troubled my conscience and disturbed my sleep, and caused me finally to look over, hastily and feverishly18, by the feeble light of a candle, or by the cold gray light of early dawn, the neglected lessons, before the coming of the despised hour in which I betook myself to school.
There was always a little consternation19 in the parlor20 when the sounds of our merriment reached those gathered there; it must have been particularly distressing21 to our parents to hear that we were amusing ourselves otherwise than with our duet sonatas22, and to find that we preferred noise and discord23 to the “Pretty Shepherdess.”
And for at least two winters, at about half-past ten every Sunday evening, we indulged in that romp24 around the dining-table. My school was of little value to me, and the tasks imposed of even less benefit; I always went to work reluctantly and in the wrong spirit, and that lessened25 and extinguished my power and stupefied me. I had the same unfortunate experience when I came in contact with school-mates of my own age, my equals; their roughness disgusted me, and I repulsed26 all the efforts they made to be friendly. . . . I never saw them except in class, under the master's rod as it were; I had already become a little being too peculiar27 and set in my ways to be modified greatly by contact with them, and I therefore held aloof28, and my eccentricities29 accentuated30 themselves.
Almost all of them were older and more developed than I; they also were more crafty31 and more sophisticated; in consequence there sprung up amongst them a feeling of contempt and enmity for me that I repaid with disdain32, for I felt sure that they were incapable33 of comprehending or following the flights of my imagination.
With the very youthful peasants in the mountains, and the fishermen's children on the Island, I had never been haughty34; we had understood each other after the fashion of children who are primitive35 and therefore fond of childish play; and upon such occasions I had associated with them as if they were my equals. But I was arrogant36 in my behavior to the boys at school, and they had good reason to consider me whimsical and priggish. It took me many years to conquer that arrogance37, to act simply and like other people in the world; and especially it was difficult for me to realize that one is not necessarily superior to his fellows because he is (to his own misfortune often) prince and conjurer in the realm of fancy.
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1 shrill | |
adj.尖声的;刺耳的;v尖叫 | |
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2 regularity | |
n.规律性,规则性;匀称,整齐 | |
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3 automaton | |
n.自动机器,机器人 | |
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4 insinuated | |
v.暗示( insinuate的过去式和过去分词 );巧妙或迂回地潜入;(使)缓慢进入;慢慢伸入 | |
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5 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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6 desperately | |
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地 | |
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7 uproar | |
n.骚动,喧嚣,鼎沸 | |
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8 havoc | |
n.大破坏,浩劫,大混乱,大杂乱 | |
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9 melancholy | |
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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10 hovered | |
鸟( hover的过去式和过去分词 ); 靠近(某事物); (人)徘徊; 犹豫 | |
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11 laborious | |
adj.吃力的,努力的,不流畅 | |
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12 revel | |
vi.狂欢作乐,陶醉;n.作乐,狂欢 | |
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13 truce | |
n.休战,(争执,烦恼等的)缓和;v.以停战结束 | |
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14 hurling | |
n.爱尔兰式曲棍球v.猛投,用力掷( hurl的现在分词 );大声叫骂 | |
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15 defiance | |
n.挑战,挑衅,蔑视,违抗 | |
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16 undone | |
a.未做完的,未完成的 | |
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17 negligence | |
n.疏忽,玩忽,粗心大意 | |
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18 feverishly | |
adv. 兴奋地 | |
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19 consternation | |
n.大为吃惊,惊骇 | |
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20 parlor | |
n.店铺,营业室;会客室,客厅 | |
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21 distressing | |
a.使人痛苦的 | |
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22 sonatas | |
n.奏鸣曲( sonata的名词复数 ) | |
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23 discord | |
n.不和,意见不合,争论,(音乐)不和谐 | |
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24 romp | |
n.欢闹;v.嬉闹玩笑 | |
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25 lessened | |
减少的,减弱的 | |
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26 repulsed | |
v.击退( repulse的过去式和过去分词 );驳斥;拒绝 | |
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27 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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28 aloof | |
adj.远离的;冷淡的,漠不关心的 | |
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29 eccentricities | |
n.古怪行为( eccentricity的名词复数 );反常;怪癖 | |
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30 accentuated | |
v.重读( accentuate的过去式和过去分词 );使突出;使恶化;加重音符号于 | |
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31 crafty | |
adj.狡猾的,诡诈的 | |
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32 disdain | |
n.鄙视,轻视;v.轻视,鄙视,不屑 | |
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33 incapable | |
adj.无能力的,不能做某事的 | |
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34 haughty | |
adj.傲慢的,高傲的 | |
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35 primitive | |
adj.原始的;简单的;n.原(始)人,原始事物 | |
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36 arrogant | |
adj.傲慢的,自大的 | |
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37 arrogance | |
n.傲慢,自大 | |
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