She made one attempt at protest. "Isaac," she said, "isn't all this rather ridiculous——"
"Don't speak to me!" he answered, waving her off. "Don't speak to me! You should have spoken before, Elly. Now,—things are happening."
The image of Black Strand7 as, after all, a very pleasant place indeed returned to her. She adjudicated upon the nursery difficulties, and then went in a dreamlike state of mind to preside over her own more personal packing. She found Peters exercising all that indecisive helplessness which is characteristic of ladies' maids the whole world over.
It was from Peters she learnt that the entire household, men and maids together, was to be hurled8 into Surrey. "Aren't they all rather surprised?" asked Lady Harman.
"Yes, m'm," said Peters on her knees, "but of course if the drains is wrong the sooner we all go the better."
(So that was what he had told them.)
A vibration9 and a noise of purring machinery10 outside drew the lady to the window, and she discovered that at least four of the large motor-vans from the International Stores were to co-operate in the trek11. There they were waiting, massive and uniform. And then she saw Snagsby in his alpaca jacket running towards the house from the gates. Of course he was running only very slightly indeed, but still he was running, and the expression of distress12 upon his face convinced her that he was being urged to unusual and indeed unsuitable tasks under the immediate13 personal supervision14 of Sir Isaac.... Then from round the corner appeared the under butler or at least the legs of him going very fast, under a pile of shirt boxes and things belonging to Sir Isaac. He dumped them into the nearest van and heaved a deep sigh and returned houseward after a remorseful15 glance at the windows.
A violent outcry from baby, who, with more than her customary violence was making her customary morning protest against being clad, recalled Lady Harman from the contemplation of these exterior16 activities....
The journey to Black Strand was not accomplished17 without misadventure; there was a puncture18 near Farnham, and as Clarence with a leisurely19 assurance entertained himself with the Stepney, they were passed first by the second car with the nursery contingent20, which went by in a shrill21 chorus, crying, "We-e-e shall get there first, We-e-e shall get there first," and then by a large hired car all agog22 with housemaids and Mrs. Crumble23 and with Snagsby, as round and distressed24 as the full moon, and the under butler, cramped25 and keen beside the driver. There followed the leading International Stores car, and then the Stepney was on and they could hasten in pursuit....
And at last they came to Black Strand, and when they saw Black Strand it seemed to Lady Harman that the place had blown out a huge inflamed26 red cheek and lost its pleasant balance altogether. "Oh!" she cried.
It was the old barn flushed by the strain of adaptation to a new use, its comfortable old wall ruptured27 by half a dozen brilliant new windows, a light red chimney stack at one end. From it a vividly28 artistic29 corridor ran to the house and the rest of the shrubbery was all trampled30 and littered with sheds, bricks, poles and material generally. Black Strand had left the hands of the dilettante31 school and was in the grip of those vigorous moulding forces that are shaping our civilization to-day.
The jasmine wig32 over the porch had suffered a strenuous33 clipping; the door might have just come out of prison. In the hall the Carpaccio copies still glowed, but there were dust sheets over most of the furniture and a plumber34 was moving his things out with that eleventh hour reluctance35 so characteristic of plumbers36. Mrs. Rabbit, a little tearful, and dressed for departure very respectably in black was giving the youngest and least experienced housemaid a faithful history of Mr. Brumley's earlier period. "'Appy we all was," said Mrs. Rabbit, "as Birds in a Nest."
Through the windows two of the Putney gardeners were busy replacing Mr. Brumley's doubtful roses by recognized sorts, the right sorts....
"I've been doing all I can to make it ready for you," said Sir Isaac at his wife's ear, bringing a curious reminiscence of the first home-coming to Putney into her mind.
4
"And now," said Sir Isaac with evident premeditation and a certain deliberate amiability37, "now we got down here, now we got away a bit from all those London things with nobody to cut in between us, me and you can have a bit of a talk, Elly, and see what it's all about."
They had lunched together in the little hall-dining room,—the children had had a noisily cheerful picnic in the kitchen with Mrs. Harblow, and now Lady Harman was standing38 at the window surveying the ravages39 of rose replacement40.
She turned towards him. "Yes," she said. "I think—I think we can't go on like this."
"I can't," said Sir Isaac, "anyhow."
He too came and stared at the rose planting.
"If we were to go up there—among the pine woods"—he pointed41 with his head at the dark background of Euphemia's herbaceous borders—"we shouldn't hear quite so much of this hammering...."
Husband and wife walked slowly in the afternoon sunlight across the still beautiful garden. Each was gravely aware of an embarrassed incapacity for the task they had set themselves. They were going to talk things over. Never in their lives had they really talked to each other clearly and honestly about anything. Indeed it is scarcely too much to say that neither had ever talked about anything to anyone. She was too young, her mind was now growing up in her and feeling its way to conscious expression, and he had never before wanted to express himself. He did now want to express himself. For behind his rant42 and fury Sir Isaac had been thinking very hard indeed during the last three weeks about his life and her life and their relations; he had never thought so much about anything except his business economics. So far he had either joked at her, talked "silly" to her, made, as they say, "remarks," or vociferated. That had been the sum of their mental intercourse43, as indeed it is the sum of the intercourse of most married couples. His attempt to state his case to her had so far always flared44 into rhetorical outbreaks. But he was discontented with these rhetorical outbreaks. His dispositions47 to fall into them made him rather like a nervous sepia that cannot keep its ink sac quiet while it is sitting for its portrait. In the earnestness of his attempt at self-display he vanished in his own outpourings.
He wanted now to reason with her simply and persuasively48. He wanted to say quietly impressive and convincing things in a low tone of voice and make her abandon every possible view except his view. He walked now slowly meditating49 the task before him, making a faint thoughtful noise with his teeth, his head sunken in the collar of the motor overcoat he wore because of a slight cold he had caught. And he had to be careful about colds because of his constitutional defect. She too felt she had much to say. Much too she had in her mind that she couldn't say, because this strange quarrel had opened unanticipated things for her; she had found and considered repugnances in her nature she had never dared to glance at hitherto....
Sir Isaac began rather haltingly when they had reached a sandy, ant-infested path that ran slantingly up among the trees. He affected50 a certain perplexity. He said he did not understand what it was his wife was "after," what she "thought she was doing" in "making all this trouble"; he wanted to know just what it was she wanted, how she thought they ought to live, just what she considered his rights were as her husband and just what she considered were her duties as his wife—if, that is, she considered she had any duties. To these enquiries Lady Harman made no very definite reply; their estrangement51 instead of clearing her mind had on the whole perplexed52 it more, by making her realize the height and depth and extent of her possible separation from him. She replied therefore with an unsatisfactory vagueness; she said she wanted to feel that she possessed53 herself, that she was no longer a child, that she thought she had a right to read what she chose, see what people she liked, go out a little by herself, have a certain independence—she hesitated, "have a certain definite allowance of my own."
"Have I ever refused you money?" cried Sir Isaac protesting.
"It isn't that," said Lady Harman; "it's the feeling——"
"The feeling of being able to—defy—anything I say," said Sir Isaac with a note of bitterness. "As if I didn't understand!"
It was beyond Lady Harman's powers to express just how that wasn't the precise statement of the case.
Sir Isaac, reverting54 to his tone of almost elaborate reasonableness, expanded his view that it was impossible for husband and wife to have two different sets of friends;—let alone every other consideration, he explained, it wasn't convenient for them not to be about together, and as for reading or thinking what she chose he had never made any objection to anything unless it was "decadent55 rot" that any decent man would object to his womanfolk seeing, rot she couldn't understand the drift of—fortunately. Blear-eyed humbug56.... He checked himself on the verge57 of an almost archiepiscopal outbreak in order to be patiently reasonable again. He was prepared to concede that it would be very nice if Lady Harman could be a good wife and also an entirely58 independent person, very nice, but the point was—his tone verged59 on the ironical—that she couldn't be two entirely different people at the same time.
"But you have your friends," she said, "you go away alone——"
"That's different," said Sir Isaac with a momentary60 note of annoyance61. "It's business. It isn't that I want to."
Lady Harman had a feeling that they were neither of them gaining any ground. She blamed herself for her lack of lucidity62. She began again, taking up the matter at a fresh point. She said that her life at present wasn't full, that it was only half a life, that it was just home and marriage and nothing else; he had his business, he went out into the world, he had politics and—"all sorts of things"; she hadn't these interests; she had nothing in the place of them——
Sir Isaac closed this opening rather abruptly63 by telling her that she should count herself lucky she hadn't, and again the conversation was suspended for a time.
"But I want to know about these things," she said.
"There's things go on," she said; "outside home. There's social work, there's interests——Am I never to take any part—in that?"
Sir Isaac still reflected.
"There's one thing," he said at last, "I want to know. We'd better have it out—now."
But he hesitated for a time.
"Elly!" he blundered, "you aren't—you aren't getting somehow—not fond of me?"
She made no immediate reply.
"Look here!" he said in an altered voice. "Elly! there isn't something below all this? There isn't something been going on that I don't know?"
Her eyes with a certain terror in their depths questioned him.
"Something," he said, and his face was deadly white—"Some other man, Elly?"
"Isaac!" she said, "what do you mean? How can you ask me such a thing?"
"If it's that!" said Sir Isaac, his face suddenly full of malignant66 force, "I'll——But I'd kill you...."
"If it isn't that," he went on searching his mind; "why should a woman get restless? Why should she want to go away from her husband, go meeting other people, go gadding67 about? If a woman's satisfied, she's satisfied. She doesn't harbour fancies.... All this grumbling68 and unrest. Natural for your sister, but why should you? You've got everything a woman needs, husband, children, a perfectly69 splendid home, clothes, good jewels and plenty of them, respect! Why should you want to go out after things? It's mere1 spoilt-childishness. Of course you want to wander out—and if there isn't a man——"
He caught her wrist suddenly. "There isn't a man?" he demanded.
"Isaac!" she protested in horror.
"Then there'll be one. You think I'm a fool, you think I don't know anything all these literary and society people know. I do know. I know that a man and a woman have got to stick together, and if you go straying—you may think you're straying after the moon or social work or anything—but there's a strange man waiting round the corner for every woman and a strange woman for every man. Think I've had no temptations?... Oh! I know, I know. What's life or anything but that? and it's just because we've not gone on having more children, just because we listened to all those fools who said you were overdoing70 it, that all this fretting71 and grumbling began. We've got on to the wrong track, Elly, and we've got to get back to plain wholesome72 ways of living. See? That's what I've come down here for and what I mean to do. We've got to save ourselves. I've been too—too modern and all that. I'm going to be a husband as a husband should. I'm going to protect you from these idees—protect you from your own self.... And that's about where we stand, Elly, as I make it out."
He paused with the effect of having delivered himself of long premeditated things.
Lady Harman essayed to speak. But she found that directly she set herself to speak she sobbed73 and began weeping. She choked for a moment. Then she determined74 she would go on, and if she must cry, she must cry. She couldn't let a disposition46 to tears seal her in silence for ever.
"It isn't," she said, "what I expected—of life. It isn't——"
"It's what life is," Sir Isaac cut in.
"When I think," she sobbed, "of what I've lost——"
"Lost!" cried Sir Isaac. "Lost! Oh come now, Elly, I like that. What!—lost. Hang it! You got to look facts in the face. You can't deny——Marrying like this,—you made a jolly good thing of it."
"But the beautiful things, the noble things!"
"What's beautiful?" cried Sir Isaac in protesting scorn. "What's noble? ROT! Doing your duty if you like and being sensible, that's noble and beautiful, but not fretting about and running yourself into danger. You've got to have a sense of humour, Elly, in this life——" He created a quotation75. "As you make your bed—so shall you lie."
For an interval76 neither of them spoke6. They crested77 the hill, and came into view of that advertisement board she had first seen in Mr. Brumley's company. She halted, and he went a step further and halted too. He recalled his ideas about the board. He had meant to have them all altered but other things had driven it from his mind....
"It isn't much like a prison. I'm asking you to stay here—and be what a wife should be."
"I'm to have no money."
"That's—that depends entirely on yourself. You know that well enough."
She looked at him gravely.
"I won't stand it," she said at last with a gentle deliberation.
She spoke so softly that he doubted his hearing. "What?" he asked sharply.
"I won't stand it," she repeated. "No."
"But—what can you do?"
"I don't know," she said, after a moment of grave consideration.
For some moments his mind hunted among possibilities.
"It's me that's standing it," he said. He came closely up to her. He seemed on the verge of rhetoric45. He pressed his thin white lips together. "Standing it! when we might be so happy," he snapped, and shrugged79 his shoulders and turned with an expression of mournful resolution towards the house again. She followed slowly.
He felt that he had done all that a patient and reasonable husband could do. Now—things must take their course.
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1
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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vehement
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| adj.感情强烈的；热烈的；(人)有强烈感情的 | |
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3
stimulating
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| adj.有启发性的，能激发人思考的 | |
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4
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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5
bustle
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| v.喧扰地忙乱，匆忙，奔忙；n.忙碌；喧闹 | |
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6
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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strand
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| vt.使（船）搁浅，使（某人）困于（某地） | |
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hurled
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| v.猛投，用力掷( hurl的过去式和过去分词 )；大声叫骂 | |
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9
vibration
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| n.颤动，振动；摆动 | |
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10
machinery
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| n.(总称)机械，机器；机构 | |
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trek
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| vi.作长途艰辛的旅行；n.长途艰苦的旅行 | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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13
immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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supervision
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| n.监督，管理 | |
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15
remorseful
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| adj.悔恨的 | |
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exterior
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| adj.外部的，外在的；表面的 | |
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accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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18
puncture
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| n.刺孔，穿孔；v.刺穿，刺破 | |
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leisurely
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| adj.悠闲的；从容的，慢慢的 | |
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contingent
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| adj.视条件而定的；n.一组，代表团，分遣队 | |
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shrill
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| adj.尖声的；刺耳的；v尖叫 | |
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agog
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| adj.兴奋的，有强烈兴趣的； adv.渴望地 | |
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crumble
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| vi.碎裂，崩溃；vt.弄碎，摧毁 | |
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distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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cramped
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| a.狭窄的 | |
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inflamed
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| adj.发炎的，红肿的v.（使）变红，发怒，过热( inflame的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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27
ruptured
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| v.（使）破裂( rupture的过去式和过去分词 )；（使体内组织等）断裂；使（友好关系）破裂；使绝交 | |
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28
vividly
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| adv.清楚地，鲜明地，生动地 | |
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artistic
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| adj.艺术(家)的，美术(家)的；善于艺术创作的 | |
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trampled
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| 踩( trample的过去式和过去分词 )； 践踏； 无视； 侵犯 | |
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dilettante
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| n.半瓶醋，业余爱好者 | |
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wig
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| n.假发 | |
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strenuous
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| adj.奋发的，使劲的；紧张的；热烈的，狂热的 | |
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plumber
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| n.(装修水管的)管子工 | |
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reluctance
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| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
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plumbers
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| n.管子工，水暖工( plumber的名词复数 )；[美][口]（防止泄密的）堵漏人员 | |
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amiability
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| n.和蔼可亲的，亲切的，友善的 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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ravages
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| 劫掠后的残迹，破坏的结果，毁坏后的残迹 | |
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replacement
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| n.取代，替换，交换；替代品，代用品 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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rant
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| v.咆哮；怒吼；n.大话；粗野的话 | |
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intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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44
Flared
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| adj. 端部张开的, 爆发的, 加宽的, 漏斗式的 动词flare的过去式和过去分词 | |
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45
rhetoric
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| n.修辞学，浮夸之言语 | |
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46
disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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47
dispositions
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| 安排( disposition的名词复数 )； 倾向； （财产、金钱的）处置； 气质 | |
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persuasively
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| adv.口才好地；令人信服地 | |
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49
meditating
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| a.沉思的，冥想的 | |
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50
affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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estrangement
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| n.疏远，失和，不和 | |
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perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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53
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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54
reverting
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| 恢复( revert的现在分词 )； 重提； 回到…上； 归还 | |
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55
decadent
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| adj.颓废的，衰落的，堕落的 | |
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56
humbug
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| n.花招，谎话，欺骗 | |
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57
verge
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| n.边，边缘；v.接近，濒临 | |
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58
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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verged
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| 接近，逼近（verge的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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60
momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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61
annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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62
lucidity
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| n.明朗，清晰，透明 | |
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63
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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64
musingly
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| adv.沉思地，冥想地 | |
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65
crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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66
malignant
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| adj.恶性的，致命的；恶意的，恶毒的 | |
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67
gadding
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| n.叮搔症adj.蔓生的v.闲逛( gad的现在分词 )；游荡；找乐子；用铁棒刺 | |
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68
grumbling
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| adj. 喃喃鸣不平的, 出怨言的 | |
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69
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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70
overdoing
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| v.做得过分( overdo的现在分词 )；太夸张；把…煮得太久；（工作等）过度 | |
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71
fretting
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| n. 微振磨损 adj. 烦躁的, 焦虑的 | |
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72
wholesome
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| adj.适合；卫生的；有益健康的；显示身心健康的 | |
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73
sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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74
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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75
quotation
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| n.引文，引语，语录；报价，牌价，行情 | |
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76
interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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77
crested
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| adj.有顶饰的，有纹章的，有冠毛的v.到达山顶（或浪峰）( crest的过去式和过去分词 )；到达洪峰，达到顶点 | |
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78
imprison
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| vt.监禁，关押，限制，束缚 | |
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79
shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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