A WORD ABOUT MISS BIRCH.

"The Gentlemen, and especially the younger and more tender of the Pupils, will have the advantage of the constant superintendence and affectionate care of Miss Zoe Birch, sister of the Principal: whose dearest aim will be to supply (as far as may be) the absent maternal² friend."—Prospectus³ of Rodwell Regis School.

 

This is all very fine in the Doctor's circulars, and Miss Zoe Birch—(a sweet birch blossom it is, fifty-five years old, during two score of which she has dosed herself with pills; with a nose as red and a face as sour as a crab-apple)—may do mighty⁴ well in a prospectus. But I should like to know who would take Miss Zoe for a mother, or would have her for one?

 

The only persons in the house who are not afraid of her are Miss Flora⁵ and I—no, I am afraid of her, though I do know the story about the French usher⁶ in 1830—but all the rest tremble before the woman, from the Doctor down to poor Francis the knife-boy, and whom she bullies⁷ into his miserable⁸ blacking-hole.

 

The Doctor is a pompous⁹ and outwardly severe man—but inwardly weak and easy: loving a joke and a glass of port wine. I get on with him, therefore, much better than Mr. Prince, who scorns him for an ass¹⁰, and under whose keen eyes the worthy¹¹ Doctor writhes¹² like a convicted impostor; and many a sunshiny afternoon would he have said, "Mr. T., Sir, shall we try another glass of that yellow sealed wine which you seem to like?" (and which he likes even better than I do), had not the old harridan¹³ of a Zoe been down upon us, and insisted on turning me out with her miserable weak coffee. She a mother indeed! A sour milk generation she would have nursed. She is always croaking¹⁴, scolding, bullying,—yowling at the housemaids, snarling¹⁵ at Miss Raby, bowwowing after the little boys, barking after the big ones. She knows how much every boy eats to an ounce; and her delight is to ply¹ with fat the little ones who can't bear it, and with raw meat those who hate underdone. It was she who caused the Doctor to be eaten out three times; and nearly created a rebellion in the school because she insisted on his flogging Goliah Longman.

 

The only time that woman is happy is when she comes in of a morning to the little boys' dormitories with a cup of hot Epsom salts, and a sippet of bread. Boo!—the very notion makes me quiver. She stands over them. I saw her do it to young Byles only a few days since—and her presence makes the abomination doubly abominable¹⁶.

 

As for attending them in real illness, do you suppose that she would watch a single night for any one of them? Not she. When poor little Charley Davison (that child, a lock of whose soft hair I have said how Miss Raby still keeps) lay ill of scarlet¹⁷ fever in the holidays—for the Colonel, the father of these boys, was in India—it was Anne Raby who tended the child, who watched him all through the fever, who never left him while it lasted, or until she had closed the little eyes that were never to brighten or moisten more. Anny watched and deplored¹⁸ him, but it was Miss Birch who wrote the letter announcing his demise¹⁹, and got the gold chain and locket which the Colonel ordered as a memento²⁰ of his gratitude²¹. It was through a row with Miss Birch that Frank Davison ran away. I promise you that after he joined his regiment²² in India, the Ahmednuggar Irregulars, which his gallant²³ father commands, there came over no more annual shawls and presents to Dr. and Miss Birch, and that if she fancied the Colonel was coming home to marry her (on account of her tenderness to his motherless children, which he was always writing about), that notion was very soon given up. But these affairs are of early date, seven years back, and I only heard of them in a very confused manner from Miss Raby, who was a girl, and had just come to Rodwell Regis. She is always very much moved when she speaks about those boys, which is but seldom. I take it the death of the little one still grieves her tender heart.

 

Yes, it is Miss Birch, who has turned away seventeen ushers²⁴ and second masters in eleven years, and half as many French masters; inconsolable, I suppose, since the departure of her favourite, M. Grinche, with her gold watch, &c.; but this is only surmise—and what I gather from the taunts²⁵ of Miss Rosa when she and her aunt have a tiff²⁶ at tea.

 

But besides this, I have another way of keeping her in order.

 

Whenever she is particularly odious²⁷ or insolent²⁸ to Miss Raby, I have but to introduce raspberry jam into the conversation, and the woman holds her tongue. She will understand me. I need not say more.

 

Note, 12th December.—I may speak now. I have left the place and don't mind. I say then at once, and without caring twopence for the consequences, that I saw this woman, this mother of the boys, eating jam with a spoon out of Master Wiggins's trunk in the box-room; and of this I am ready to take an affidavit²⁹ any day.

1 ply   

v.(搬运工等)等候顾客，弯曲

参考例句：

• Taxis licensed to ply for hire at the railway station.许可计程车在火车站候客。
• Ferryboats ply across the English Channel.渡船定期往返于英吉利海峡。

2 maternal   

adj.母亲的，母亲般的，母系的，母方的

参考例句：

• He is my maternal uncle.他是我舅舅。
• The sight of the hopeless little boy aroused her maternal instincts.那个绝望的小男孩的模样唤起了她的母性。

3 prospectus   

n.计划书；说明书；慕股书

参考例句：

• An order form was included with the prospectus.订单附在说明书上。
• The prospectus is the most important instrument of legal document.招股说明书是上市公司信息披露制度最重要法律文件。

4 mighty   

adj.强有力的；巨大的

参考例句：

• A mighty force was about to break loose.一股巨大的力量即将迸发而出。
• The mighty iceberg came into view.巨大的冰山出现在眼前。

5 flora   

n.(某一地区的)植物群

参考例句：

• The subtropical island has a remarkably rich native flora.这个亚热带岛屿有相当丰富的乡土植物种类。
• All flora need water and light.一切草木都需要水和阳光。

6 usher   

n.带位员，招待员；vt.引导，护送；vi.做招待，担任引座员

参考例句：

• The usher seated us in the front row.引座员让我们在前排就座。
• They were quickly ushered away.他们被迅速领开。

7 bullies   

n.欺凌弱小者, 开球 vt.恐吓, 威胁, 欺负

参考例句：

• Standing up to bullies takes plenty of backbone. 勇敢地对付暴徒需有大无畏精神。
• Bullies can make your life hell. 恃强欺弱者能让你的日子像活地狱。

8 miserable   

adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的

参考例句：

• It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他，这是可耻的。
• Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。

9 pompous   

adj.傲慢的，自大的；夸大的；豪华的

参考例句：

• He was somewhat pompous and had a high opinion of his own capabilities.他有点自大，自视甚高。
• He is a good man underneath his pompous appearance. 他的外表虽傲慢，其实是个好人。

10 ass   

n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人

参考例句：

• He is not an ass as they make him.他不象大家猜想的那样笨。
• An ass endures his burden but not more than his burden.驴能负重但不能超过它能力所负担的。

11 worthy   

adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的

参考例句：

• I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
• There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。

12 writhes   

（因极度痛苦而）扭动或翻滚( writhe的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• He pats her kindly on the shoulder. She writhes. 他和和气气地拍拍她的肩膀。她扭动了一下。
• A little girl writhes on water face about, I ask what she has incorrect. 一个小女孩在水上翻腾转身，我问她有什麽不对。

13 harridan   

n.恶妇；丑老大婆

参考例句：

• She was a mean old harridan.她是个刻薄的老泼妇。
• Homer's epic is not just composed of harridan wives and brave men.荷马的史诗不是只有暴躁的妻子和勇敢的战士。

14 croaking   

v.呱呱地叫( croak的现在分词 )；用粗的声音说

参考例句：

• the croaking of frogs 蛙鸣
• I could hear croaking of the frogs. 我能听到青蛙呱呱的叫声。 来自《简明英汉词典》

15 snarling   

v.（指狗）吠，嗥叫， （人）咆哮( snarl的现在分词 )；咆哮着说，厉声地说

参考例句：

• "I didn't marry you," he said, in a snarling tone. “我没有娶你，"他咆哮着说。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
• So he got into the shoes snarling. 于是，汤姆一边大喊大叫，一边穿上了那双鞋。 来自英汉文学 - 汤姆历险

16 abominable   

adj.可厌的，令人憎恶的

参考例句：

• Their cruel treatment of prisoners was abominable.他们虐待犯人的做法令人厌恶。
• The sanitary conditions in this restaurant are abominable.这家饭馆的卫生状况糟透了。

17 scarlet   

n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的

参考例句：

• The scarlet leaves of the maples contrast well with the dark green of the pines.深红的枫叶和暗绿的松树形成了明显的对比。
• The glowing clouds are growing slowly pale,scarlet,bright red,and then light red.天空的霞光渐渐地淡下去了，深红的颜色变成了绯红，绯红又变为浅红。

18 deplored   

v.悲叹，痛惜，强烈反对( deplore的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• They deplored the price of motor car, textiles, wheat, and oil. 他们悲叹汽车、纺织品、小麦和石油的价格。 来自辞典例句
• Hawthorne feels that all excess is to be deplored. 霍桑觉得一切过分的举动都是可悲的。 来自辞典例句

19 demise   

n.死亡；v.让渡，遗赠，转让

参考例句：

• He praised the union's aims but predicted its early demise.他赞扬协会的目标，但预期这一协会很快会消亡。
• The war brought about the industry's sudden demise.战争道致这个行业就这么突然垮了。

20 memento   

n.纪念品，令人回忆的东西

参考例句：

• The photos will be a permanent memento of your wedding.这些照片会成为你婚礼的永久纪念。
• My friend gave me his picture as a memento before going away.我的朋友在离别前给我一张照片留作纪念品。

21 gratitude   

adj.感激，感谢

参考例句：

• I have expressed the depth of my gratitude to him.我向他表示了深切的谢意。
• She could not help her tears of gratitude rolling down her face.她感激的泪珠禁不住沿着面颊流了下来。

22 regiment   

n.团，多数，管理；v.组织，编成团，统制

参考例句：

• As he hated army life,he decide to desert his regiment.因为他嫌恶军队生活，所以他决心背弃自己所在的那个团。
• They reformed a division into a regiment.他们将一个师整编成为一个团。

23 gallant   

adj.英勇的，豪侠的；(向女人)献殷勤的

参考例句：

• Huang Jiguang's gallant deed is known by all men. 黄继光的英勇事迹尽人皆知。
• These gallant soldiers will protect our country.这些勇敢的士兵会保卫我们的国家的。

24 ushers   

n.引座员( usher的名词复数 )；招待员；门房；助理教员v.引，领，陪同( usher的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• Seats clicked, ushers bowed while he looked blandly on. 座位发出啪啦啪啦的声响，领座员朝客人们鞠躬，而他在一边温和殷勤地看着。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
• The minister then offers a brief prayer of dedication, and the ushers return to their seats. 于是牧师又做了一个简短的奉献的祈祷，各招待员也各自回座位。 来自辞典例句

25 taunts   

嘲弄的言语，嘲笑，奚落( taunt的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• He had to endure the racist taunts of the crowd. 他不得不忍受那群人种族歧视的奚落。
• He had to endure the taunts of his successful rival. 他不得不忍受成功了的对手的讥笑。

26 tiff   

n.小争吵，生气

参考例句：

• They patched up their tiff again.他们平息了争执，又和好如初了。
• There was a new tiff between the two girls.那两个女孩之间有一场新的吵嘴。

27 odious   

adj.可憎的，讨厌的

参考例句：

• The judge described the crime as odious.法官称这一罪行令人发指。
• His character could best be described as odious.他的人格用可憎来形容最贴切。

28 insolent   

adj.傲慢的，无理的

参考例句：

• His insolent manner really got my blood up.他那傲慢的态度把我的肺都气炸了。
• It was insolent of them to demand special treatment.他们要求给予特殊待遇，脸皮真厚。

29 affidavit   

n.宣誓书

参考例句：

• I gave an affidavit to the judge about the accident I witnessed.我向法官提交了一份关于我目击的事故的证词。
• The affidavit was formally read to the court.书面证词正式向出席法庭的人宣读了。