Kate was in the house at last—in the long drawing-room, where the servants had lighted the lamps. Though pale and agitated1, she could not resist the temptation to glance furtively2 about her. She had not lived under the same roof with a great artist for five years without learning something of the value of beautiful things. She was not slow to appraise3 the works of art. In her eyes the place was a trifle old-fashioned and out of date. Already she could see her way to make an imposing4 salon5 of the room. Then, as she saw Rent looking eagerly towards her, she lowered her eyelids6 and sighed deeply.
"I ought not to have come in with you," she murmured. "I see that it was a mistake. I ought to have waited outside till you had seen your mother and prepared her for my coming. It would have been so much more——"
The speaker's voice trailed off into a murmur7. She was going to say "dramatic," but she stopped just in time. At the same moment there were sounds of voices outside, and the outline of dim figures could be seen advancing across the misty8 lawn. Instinctively9 Kate Charlock drew closer to Rent's side.
"My dearest, there is nothing to be frightened of," he said soothingly10. "That was my mother's voice you heard. See, she is coming this way. I can't make out who the others are, but one of them looks to me like our solicitor11, Mr. Westlake. If so, it is rather fortunate. Westlake always takes such a common-sense view of matters. He is sure to be on our side."
There was nothing more to be said, nothing to do but wait for the coming of Mrs. Rent. And she seemed in no hurry to detach herself from her companions. Why did she not come? Arnold wondered. Usually she was so eager to see him. In the selfishness of the moment it had not occurred to Rent that the ordeal12 his mother was about to go through would be more distressful13 than his own. And the cruel shock of finding that he was here in defiance14 of her telegram was not calculated to make the mother's heart any the less sore and angry. Mrs. Rent stood outside, her hands tightly clasped, looking first from one to the other for support.
"Oh, this is downright cruel," Ethel burst out. "He ought never to have come like this. If he came at all, it should have been alone. My dear aunt, sit down and collect yourself. I know you will be brave and steadfast15 when it comes to the point, or perhaps you would like Mr. Westlake——"
"No, I must go through with it myself," Mrs. Rent said. "This is a burden that no one can share with me."
"I am afraid the fault is mine," Charlock said. "I ought to have gone away when I found out whose house I had come into. I should not have hesitated. It is a cruel stroke of fortune, and no one regrets it more than myself."
"It is no fault of yours," Mrs. Rent murmured. "Will you mind talking to Miss Hargrave while Mr. Westlake and I go into the house? I should like him to be near me, though I do not wish him to be present at the interview."
Ethel and Charlock stood alone together, silent and anxious. They watched the others as they went slowly towards the house, then Charlock touched his companion's arm.
"We had better not stay here," he suggested. "We can see and hear too much. Do you know, I feel as if, in a measure, I have thrust this black humiliation16 and disgrace upon you. I feel hot and cold all over that I should even be discussing the thing with one so young and innocent as yourself."
"And why?" Ethel said. "I am not a child. I have heard of these things before, though I never dreamt that I should live to see the like of this at Alton Lee."
"It is like a romance," Charlock laughed bitterly. "What puppets we are in the hands of Fate! And I thought once that I was a strong man capable of defying the world and shaping my own destiny. I daresay you will say that it is my own fault, and perhaps you will be right. I don't know why I should be talking to you like this. But the peacefulness of the night and the look of sympathy in your eyes invite my confidence. But I will swear to you that if I could have foreseen that this honourable17 old family would be disgraced in this fashion, I would never have let my home go. I would have worked all the harder to gratify my wife's extravagance. I would have made it worth her while to stay. Perhaps I was too candid18, too brutal19. Do you suppose she would have left me as she did if she had come back the other night and found the homestead intact? Oh, dear, no. With all her air of purity and sweetness, my wife always had a shrewd sense of business and self-interest."
"Yet you loved her once," Ethel murmured.
"My dear young lady, I love her now. She has only to say one word and the whole past is forgotten. It may seem strange to you, brought up as you have been, that a man should love a woman for whom he has the deepest contempt. But there are many such cases in the world. Call it madness, call it fascination20—anything you like. It is possible for a man to love a woman devotedly21 and yet not to speak to her, though she is under the same roof as himself. That has been my case during the last four years. I have despised myself for my weakness—I, who in other matters can be so strong. I am a self-contained man, and five years ago I thought I had found paradise. Then it began slowly to dawn upon me that I had made a mistake. There was sweetness and melancholy22 and fascination in my wife's smiling face, but no atom of sympathy behind it. She had no feeling for me. She had no kind of pride in my work. Even when she began to hang the millstone of debt about my neck she had no concern, though on more than one occasion I was on the verge23 of a breakdown24. But I don't ask you to take all these things for granted. I don't even ask you to believe me. You will know my wife later, and it is probable that she will convince you that I am a brute25 and a boor26 and not fit to mix with decent people."
Ethel made no reply. There was something in this man's grim tones that moved her strongly. Someone was coming from the house. She could hear footsteps on the gravel27. Then the light from the drawing-room windows fell upon the face of a woman who was slowly crossing the lawn. Her features were serene28 and beautiful. Her eyes glistened29 with heavy tears. It was only for a moment that Ethel saw the vision before it vanished in the shadows. The girl felt Charlock's hand tighten30 on her arm.
"My wife," he said hoarsely31. "She has come out to leave her lover and his mother alone. Did you see her face?"
"Indeed I did," Ethel murmured. "The beauty of it! And such an air and expression of sweetness and resignation I never saw before. It seems impossible to believe——"
"I see you pause," Charlock said grimly. "I know exactly what you are going to say. It does seem impossible. Before God, it seems to me sometimes that it is impossible and that I am only dreaming. It would go hard with me if we both stood before a jury of our countrymen and she told her tale after I had finished mine. But I won't say more. I will leave you to judge for yourself. You have seen us both, and you must rely upon your own instincts. I won't ask you to give any verdict, because I feel sure it will be against me."
"I am very, very sorry," Ethel murmured.
"Of course you are. But the point is, whom are you sorry for? There is no halfway32 in the business."
Ethel hesitated for a moment. She hardly seemed to know what to say. A bitter smile crossed Charlock's lips.
"Let me put it plainly to you," he said. "And yet I don't know why I should worry you with this business. I have never spoken to a living soul like this before. At any rate, I am going to be candid now. Let us assume that my wife has a genuine grievance33 against me. Say that I am too great a bully34 and savage35 for any decent woman to live with. I am prepared to admit that I did turn her out of doors in a brutal fashion. It is possible she can justify36 her conduct in her own eyes and that she is here with the purest and most disinterested37 of motives38. Mind, in her way, she is a good woman—that is, she is highly virtuous39. She would never forget herself. She would never step over the border, not even for the sake of Arnold Rent and all the fortune he is to inherit. No doubt she has persuaded herself that she has been right in coming here, that she has a moral claim upon Mrs. Rent's protection. She would argue it all out in her own mind. She would wait for me to commit some blazing indiscretion, and then invoke40 the aid of the law to release her from such a creature as myself. She would think that the proper thing to do. And after that she would be in a position to marry Arnold Rent and settle here as a county lady. Whether she would keep it up or not is another matter. And now, after I have told you this, let me repeat my question. You said you were sorry just now. Is your sympathy for her or for me?"
Ethel hesitated for a moment, and Charlock watched her with an anxiety which surprised himself.
"I think," she said in a voice little above a whisper, "that I am the more sorry for—you."
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1
agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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furtively
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| adv. 偷偷地, 暗中地 | |
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appraise
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| v.估价，评价，鉴定 | |
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imposing
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| adj.使人难忘的，壮丽的，堂皇的，雄伟的 | |
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5
salon
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| n.[法]沙龙；客厅；营业性的高级服务室 | |
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6
eyelids
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| n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 )；眼睛也不眨一下；不露声色；面不改色 | |
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7
murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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8
misty
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| adj.雾蒙蒙的，有雾的 | |
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instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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soothingly
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| adv.抚慰地，安慰地；镇痛地 | |
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11
solicitor
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| n.初级律师，事务律师 | |
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12
ordeal
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| n.苦难经历，（尤指对品格、耐力的）严峻考验 | |
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distressful
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| adj.苦难重重的，不幸的，使苦恼的 | |
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defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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15
steadfast
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| adj.固定的，不变的，不动摇的；忠实的；坚贞不移的 | |
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16
humiliation
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| n.羞辱 | |
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17
honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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18
candid
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| adj.公正的，正直的；坦率的 | |
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19
brutal
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| adj.残忍的，野蛮的，不讲理的 | |
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20
fascination
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| n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋 | |
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devotedly
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| 专心地； 恩爱地； 忠实地； 一心一意地 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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23
verge
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| n.边，边缘；v.接近，濒临 | |
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breakdown
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| n.垮，衰竭；损坏，故障，倒塌 | |
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brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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boor
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| n.举止粗野的人；乡下佬 | |
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gravel
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| n.砂跞；砂砾层；结石 | |
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28
serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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29
glistened
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| v.湿物闪耀，闪亮( glisten的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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30
tighten
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| v.(使)变紧；(使)绷紧 | |
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hoarsely
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| adv.嘶哑地 | |
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32
halfway
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| adj.中途的，不彻底的，部分的；adv.半路地，在中途，在半途 | |
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33
grievance
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| n.怨愤，气恼，委屈 | |
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34
bully
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| n.恃强欺弱者，小流氓；vt.威胁，欺侮 | |
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savage
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| adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人 | |
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36
justify
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| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
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37
disinterested
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| adj.不关心的，不感兴趣的 | |
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38
motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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39
virtuous
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| adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的 | |
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40
invoke
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| v.求助于(神、法律)；恳求，乞求 | |
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