If it were not for mismanagement, how smoothly1 things might go on! That telegraphic despatch2 which Lord Averil had deemed it well to send, and which had not been sent any too soon, did not reach George Godolphin for hours and hours, through mismanagement at his lodgings3.
It was afternoon when he reached Prior’s Ash. The first person he saw at the station was Lord Averil. That nobleman, wondering at George’s non-appearance, believing that Maria was getting nearer to death with every hour, had come to the conclusion that by some mischance his message had miscarried; and he had now gone to the station to send another. Lord Averil linked his arm within George’s, and they walked rapidly away through the snow that lay on the path.
Yes, he linked his arm within George Godolphin’s who had so very nearly been held up to the virtuous4 British public as a candidate for a free passage to Australia. Somehow, George had slipped through that danger, and was a gentleman still: moreover, he was Lord Averil’s brother-in-law, and it was the earnest wish of that nobleman that society should forget the little mistake in George’s life as heartily5 as he did. He explained as he walked along: Maria had got rapidly worse all at once: it was only within a few hours that immediate6 danger had shown itself.
George could not understand it. He had left his wife, ill certainly, but not, as he believed, seriously so; he had supposed her to be busy in preparations for the voyage: and now to be told that she was dying! If this was so, why had Maria not sent for him before?
Lord Averil explained. No one seemed to have known of the danger.
“Snow must have known it,” remonstrated7 George.
“I think not. I was talking to him to-day, and he expressed his surprise at the disorder8 having suddenly increased in this rapid manner.”
“What is the disorder?” asked George. “My wife had no disorder—except weakness.”
“I suppose that is it—weakness.”
“But weakness does not kill!”
“Yes, it does, sometimes.”
Margery was standing9 at the door when they reached the gate, possibly looking out for her master, for she knew the hours of the arrival of the trains. The windows of the sitting-room10 faced that way, and George’s eyes naturally turned to them. But there was no sign of busy life, of every-day occupation: the curtains hung in their undisturbed folds, the blinds were partially11 down.
“I will just ask how your wife is now, and whether Cecil is here,” said Lord Averil, following George up the path.
[447]No, Lady Averil and Miss Bessy Godolphin had left about ten minutes before, Margery said. My Lady Godolphin, who had driven up in her carriage and come in for a quarter of an hour, had left; and Miss Rose Hastings, who had been there the best part of the morning, had also left. Mrs. George Godolphin seemed a trifle better; inclined to sleep, tired out, as it were; and she, Margery, didn’t wonder at it with such a heap of visitors: she had given them a broad hint herself that her mistress might be all the better for an hour’s quiet.
Lord Averil departed. George flung his railway wrapper on to a chair and hung his hat up in the little hall: he turned his face, one of severity then, on Margery.
“Is your mistress so very ill? Why was I not sent for earlier? Is she so very ill?” he continued in an impassioned tone.
“Well, sir, I don’t know,” answered Margery, willing perhaps to soften12 the truth to him. “She is certainly better than she was in the morning. She is sitting up.”
George Godolphin was of a hopeful nature. Even those few words seemed to speak to his heart with a certainty. “Not there, sir,” interposed Margery, as he opened the door of the sitting-room. “But it don’t matter,” she added: “you can go in that way.”
He walked through the room and opened the door of the bedchamber. Would the scene ever leave his memory? The room was lighted more by the blaze of the fire than by the daylight, for curtains partly covered the windows and the winter’s dreary14 afternoon was already merging15 into twilight16. The bed was at the far end of the room, the dressing-table near it. The fire was on his right as he entered, and on a white-covered sofa, drawn17 before it, sat Maria. She was partly dressed and wrapped in a light cashmere shawl; her cap was untied19, and her face, shaded though it was by its smooth brown hair, was all too visible in the reflection cast by the firelight.
Which was the more colourless—that face, or the white cover of the sofa? George Godolphin’s heart stood still as he looked upon it and then bounded on with a rush. Every shadow of hope had gone from him.
Maria had not heard him, did not see him; he went in gently. By her side on the sofa lay Miss Meta, curled up into a ball and fast asleep, her hands and her golden curls on her mamma’s knee. With George’s first step forward, Maria turned her sad sweet eyes towards him, and a faint cry of emotion escaped her lips.
Before she could stir or speak, George was with her, his protecting arms thrown round her, her face gathered to his breast. What a contrast it was! she so wan20 and fragile, so near the grave, he in all his manly21 strength, his fresh beauty. Miss Meta woke up, recognized her papa with a cry and much commotion22, but Margery came in and carried her off, shutting the door behind her.
Her fair young face—too fair and young to die—was laid against her husband’s; her feeble hand lay carelessly in his. The shock to George was very great; it almost seemed that he had already lost her; and the scalding tears, so rarely wrung23 from man, coursed down his cheeks, and fell on her face.
“Don’t grieve,” she whispered, the tears raining from her own eyes.
[448]“Oh, George, my husband, it is a bitter thing to part, but we shall meet again in heaven, and be together for ever. It has been so weary here; the troubles have been so great!”
He steadied his voice to speak. “The troubles have not killed you, have they, Maria?”
“Yes, I suppose it has been so. I did try and struggle against them, but—I don’t know—— Oh, George!” she broke out in a wailing24 tone of pain, “if I could have but got over them and lived!—if I could only have gone with you to your new home!”
George sat down on the sofa where Meta had been, and held her to him in silence. She could hear his heart beating; could feel it bounding against her side.
“It will be a better home in heaven,” she resumed, laying her poor pale face upon his shoulder. “You will come to me there, George; I shall only go on first a little while; all the pains and the cares, the heart-burnings of earth will be forgotten, and we shall be together in happiness for ever and ever.”
He dropped his face upon her neck, he sobbed25 aloud in his anguish26. Whatever may have been his gracelessness and his faults, he had loved his wife; and now that he was losing her, that love was greater than it had ever been: some pricks27 of conscience may have been mingled28 with it, too! Who knows?
“Don’t forget me quite when I am gone, George. Think of me sometimes as your poor wife who loved you to the last; who would have stayed with you if God had let her. When first I began to see that it must be, that I should leave you and Meta, my heart nearly broke; but the pain has grown less, and I think God has been reconciling me to it.”
“What shall I do?—what will the child do without you?” broke from his quivering lips.
Perhaps the thought crossed Maria that he had done very well without her in the last few months, for his sojourn29 with her might be counted by hours instead of by days: but she was too generous to allude30 to it; and the heart-aching had passed. “Cecil and Lord Averil will take Meta,” she said. “Let her stay with them, George! It would not be well for her to go to India alone with you.”
The words surprised him. He did not speak.
“Cecil proposed it yesterday. They will be glad to have her. I dare say Lord Averil will speak to you about it later. It was the one great weight left upon my mind, George—our poor child, and what could be done with her: Cecil’s generous proposal removed it.”
“Yes,” said George hesitatingly. “For a little while; perhaps it will be the best thing. Until I shall get settled in India. But she must come to me then; I cannot part with her for good.”
“For good? No. But, George, you may—it is possible—” she seemed to stammer31 and hesitate—“you may be forming new ties. In that case you would care less for the loss of Meta——”
“Don’t talk so!” he passionately33 interrupted. “How can you glance at such things, Maria, in these our last moments?”
She was silent for a few minutes, weeping softly. “Had this parting come upon me as suddenly as it has upon you, I might have started[449] from the very thought with horror; but, George, I have had nothing else in my own mind for weeks but the parting, and it has made me look at the future as I could not else have looked at it. Do not blame me for saying this. I must allude to it, if I am to speak of Meta. I can understand how full of aversion the thought is to you now: but, George, it may come to pass.”
“I think not,” he said, and his voice and manner had changed to grave deliberation. “If I know anything of myself, Maria, I shall never marry again.”
“It is not impossible.”
Her heart beat a shade quicker, and she hid her face upon him so that he could not see it. When she spoke35 again, it was with difficulty he could catch the whispered words.
“I know how foolish and wrong it is for a dying wife to extract any promise of this nature from her husband: were I to say to you, Do not marry again, it would be little else than a wicked request; and it would prove how my thoughts and passions must still cling to earth. Bear with me while I speak of this, George, I am not going to be so wicked; but—but——”
Agitation36 stopped her voice. Her bosom37 heaved, her breath almost left her. He saw that this was mental emotion, not bodily weakness; and he waited until it should pass, stroking the hair from her brow with his gentle hand.
“My darling, what is it?”
“But there is one promise that I do wish to beg of you,” she resumed, mastering her emotion sufficiently38 to speak. “If—if you should marry, and your choice falls upon one—upon her—then, in that case, do not seek to have Meta home; let her remain always with Cecil.”
A pause, broken by George. “Of whom do you speak, Maria?”
The same laboured breathing; the same cruel agitation; and they had to be fought with before she could bring out the words.
“Of Charlotte Pain.”
“Charlotte Pain!” echoed George, shouting out the name in surprise.
“I could not bear it,” she shivered. “George, George! do not make her the second mother of my child! I could not bear it; it seems to me that I could not even in my grave bear it! Should you marry her, promise me that Meta shall not be removed from Ashlydyat.”
“Maria,” he quietly said, “I shall never marry Charlotte Pain.”
“You don’t know. You may think now you will not, but you cannot answer for yourself. George! she has helped to kill me. She must not be Meta’s second mother.”
He raised her face so that he could see it, his dark blue eyes met hers searchingly, and he took her hand in his as he gravely spoke.
“She will never be Meta’s second mother: nay39, if it will be more satisfactory, I will say she never shall be. By the heaven that perhaps even I may some day attain40 to, I say it! Charlotte Pain will never be Meta’s second mother, or my wife.”
She did not answer in words. She only nestled a little nearer to him in gratitude41; half in repentance42 perhaps for having doubted him. George resumed, in the same grave tone:
[450]“And now, Maria, tell me what you mean by saying that Charlotte Pain has helped to kill you.”
A vivid flush came over her wan face, and she contrived43 to turn it from him again, so that her eyes were hidden. But she did not speak quite at first.
“It all came upon me together, George,” she murmured at length, her tone one of loving-tenderness, in token that she was not angry now; that the past, whatever may have been its sins against her, any or none, was forgiven. “At that cruel time when the blow fell, when I had nowhere to turn to for comfort, then I also learnt what Prior’s Ash had been saying, about—about Charlotte Pain. George, it seemed to wither44 my very heart; to take the life out of it. I had so loved you; I had so trusted you: and to find—to find—that you loved her, not me——”
“Hush!” thundered George, in his emotion. “I never loved any one but you, Maria. I swear it!”
“Well—well. It seems that I do not understand. I—I could not get over it,” she continued, passing her hand across her brow where the old aching pain had come momentarily again, “and I fear it has helped to kill me. It was so cruel, to have suffered me to know her all the while.”
George Godolphin compressed his lips. He never spoke.
“But, George, it is over; it is buried in the past; and I did not intend to mention it. I should not have mentioned it but for speaking of Meta. Oh, let it go, let it pass, it need not disturb our last hour together.”
“It appears to have disturbed you a great deal more than it need have done,” he said, a shade of anger in his tone.
“Yes, looking back, I see it did. When we come to the closing scenes of life, as I have come, this world closing to our view, the next opening, then we see how foolish in many things we have been; how worse than vain our poor earthly passions. So to have fretted45 ourselves over this little space of existence with its passing follies46, its temporary interests, when we might have been living and looking for that great one that shall last for ever! To gaze back on my life it seems but a span; a passing hour compared with the eternity47 that I am entering upon. Oh, George, we have all need of God’s loving forgiveness! I, as well as you. I did not mean to reproach you: but I could not bear—had you made her your second wife—that she should have had the training of Meta.”
Did George Godolphin doubt whether the fear was wholly erased48 from her heart? Perhaps so: or he might not have spoken to her as he was about to speak.
“Let me set your mind further at rest, Maria. Had I ever so great an inclination49 to marry Mrs. Pain, it is impossible that I could do so. Mrs. Pain has a husband already.”
Maria raised her face, a flashing light, as of joy, illuminating50 it. George saw it: and a sad, dreamy look of self-condemnation settled on his own. Had it so stabbed her? “Has she married again?—since she left Prior’s Ash?”
“She has never been a widow, Maria,” he answered. “Rodolf Pain, her husband, did not die.”
[451]“He did not die?”
“As it appears. He is now back again in England.”
“And did you know of this?”
“Only since his return. I supposed her to be a widow, as every one else supposed it. One night last summer, in quitting Ashlydyat, I came upon them both in the grounds, Mr. and Mrs. Pain; and I then learned to my great surprise that he, whom his wife had passed off as dead, had in point of fact been hiding abroad. There is some unpleasant mystery attached to it, the details of which I have not concerned myself to inquire into: he fell into trouble, I expect, and feared his own country was too hot for him. However it may have been, he is home again, and with her. I suppose the danger is removed, for I met them together in Piccadilly last week walking openly, and they told me they were looking out for a house.”
“But were Mrs. Pain the widow she assumed to be, she would never have been made my wife. Child!” he added, in momentary52 irritation53, “don’t you understand things better? She my wife!—the second mother, the trainer of Meta! What could you be thinking of? Men do not marry women such as Charlotte Pain.”
“Then you do not care for her so very much?”
“I care for her so much, Maria, that were I never to see her or hear of her again it would not give me one moment’s thought,” he impulsively54 cried. “I would give a great deal now not to have kept up our acquaintance with the woman—if that had saved you one single iota55 of pain.”
When these earthly scenes are closing—when the grave is about to set its seal on one to whom we could have saved pain, and did not,—when heaven’s solemn approach is to be seen, and heaven’s purity has become all too clear to our own sight, what would we give to change inflicted56 wrongs—to blot57 out the hideous58 past! George Godolphin sat by the side of his dying wife, his best-beloved in life as she would be in death, and bit his lips in his crowd of memories, his unavailing repentance. Ah, my friends! these moments of reprisal59, prolonged as they may seem, must come to us in the end. It is convenient no doubt to ignore them in our hot-blooded carelessness, but the time will come when they must find us out.
He, George Godolphin, had leisure to hug them to himself, and make the best and the worst of them. Maria, exhausted60 with excitement, as much as by her own weakness, closed her eyes as she lay upon his breast and dropped into a sleep, and he sat watching her face, holding her to him, not daring to move, lest he should disturb her, not daring even to lift a finger and wipe off his own bitter and unavailing tears.
Yes, there could be no doubt of the fact—that the troubles of one kind and another had been too much for her; that she was dying of them; and he felt the truth to his heart’s core. He felt that she, that delicate, refined, sensitive woman had been the very last who should have been treated rudely. You may remember it was observed at the beginning of her history that she was one unfitted to battle with the world’s sharp storms—it had now proved so. Charlotte Pain would[452] have braved them, whatever their nature, have weathered them jauntily61 on a prancing62 saddle-horse; Maria had shrunk down, crushed by their weight. Il y a—let me once more repeat it—il y a des femmes et des femmes.
There came one with hurried steps up the path; with hurried steps and a distressed63, anxious countenance64. Passing Margery in the passage, she bore on as if no power on earth should stop her, and entered the sick-chamber13.
It was Grace: Mrs. Akeman. This sudden change in the illness of Maria had certainly come at an inopportune moment: Mrs. Hastings was at a distance, Grace had gone for the day with her husband some miles into the country. A messenger was sent to her, and it brought her home.
It brought her home with a self-condemning conscience. Maria dying!—when Grace had only thought of her as flaunting65 off to India; when she had that very day remarked to her husband, as they drove along the snowy road in his four-wheeled chaise, crammed66 with architectural plans, that some people had all the luck of it in this world, and that Mr. and Mrs. George Godolphin, she supposed, would soon be swaying it in the Bengal presidency67, as they had swayed it in Prior’s Ash. Maria dying! dying of the trouble, the sorrow, the disgrace, the humiliation68, the neglect! dying of a broken heart! It came flashing into Grace Akeman’s mind that she might have taken a different view of her conduct: have believed in the wrongs of wives, who are bound to their husbands for worse as well as for better; it came into her mind that she might have accorded her a little sisterly sympathy instead of reproach.
She came in now, brimming over with repentance: she came in with a sort of belief that things could not have gone so very far; that there must be some remedy still, some hope; and that if she, Grace, exerted her energies to rouse Maria, health and life would come again. Maria had awakened69 out of her temporary slumber70 then, and George was standing with his arm on the mantel-piece. A half-frown crossed his brow when he saw Grace enter. He had never liked her; he was conscious that she had not been kind to Maria, and he deemed her severe manner and sharp voice scarcely suited to that dying chamber. But she was his wife’s sister, and he advanced to welcome her.
Grace did not see his welcome; would not see it. Perhaps in truth she was wholly absorbed by the sight which met her view in Maria. Remedy still?—hope yet? Ah no! death was there, was upon her, and Grace burst into tears. Maria held out her hand, a smile lighting71 up her wan countenance.
“I thought you were not coming to see me, Grace.”
“I was out; I went to Hamlet’s Wood this morning with Mr. Akeman,” sobbed Grace. “Whatever is the reason that you have suddenly grown so ill as this?”
“I have been growing ill a long time,” was Maria’s answer.
“But there must be hope!” said Grace in her quick way. “Mr. George Godolphin”—turning to him and dashing away the tears on her cheeks, as if she would not betray them to him—“surely there must be hope! What do the medical men say?”
[453]“There is no hope, Grace,” interposed Maria in her feeble voice. “The medical men know there is not. Dr. Beale came with Mr. Snow at midday; but their coming at all is a mere18 form now.”
Maria made a slight motion of dissent73. “I have not thought it myself; not really thought it. I hoped it might be so, and the hope prevented my speaking: but there was always an undercurrent of conviction to the contrary in my heart.”
George looked at her, half-reproachfully. She understood the look, and answered it.
“I wish now I had told you, George: but I was not sure. And if I had spoken you would only have laughed at me then in disbelief.”
“You speak very calmly, Maria,” said Grace with passionate32 earnestness. “Have you no regret at leaving us?”
A faint hectic74 shone suddenly in Maria’s cheek. “Regret!” she repeated with emotion; “my days have been one long regret; one long, wearying pain. Don’t you see it is the pain that has killed me, Grace?”
Grace’s temper was sharp: her sense of right and wrong cynically75 keen: the Rector had had the same sharp temper in his youth, but he had learned to control it; Grace had not. She turned her flashing eyes, her flaming cheeks, on George Godolphin.
“Do you hear?—the pain has killed her. Who brought that pain upon her? Mr. George Godolphin, I wish you joy of your conscience! I almost seemed to foresee it—I almost seemed to foresee this,” she passionately cried, “ere ever my sister married you.”
“Don’t, Grace!” wailed76 Maria, a faint cry of fear escaping her; a sudden terror taking possession of her raised face. “George, George!” She held out her hands yearningly78 to him, as if she would shield him, or as if she wanted him to shield her from the sharp words. George crossed over to her with his protecting presence, and bent79 to catch her whisper, praying him for peace.
“You forget your sister’s state when you thus speak, Mrs. Akeman,” he gravely said. “Say anything you please to me later; you shall have the opportunity if you desire it; but in my wife’s presence there must be peace.”
Grace flung off the shawl which she had worn, and stood beating the toe of her foot upon the fender, her throat swelling80 with the effort to subdue81 her emotion. What with her anger in the past, her grief in the present, she had well-nigh burst into sobs82.
“I think I could drink some tea,” said Maria. “Could we not have it together; here; for the last time? You will make it, Grace?”
Poor, weak, timid heart! Perhaps she only so spoke as an incentive83 to keep that “peace” for which she tremblingly yearned84; which was essential to her, as to all, in her dying hour. George rang the bell and Margery came in.
It was done as she seemed to wish. The small round table was drawn to the fire, and Grace sat at it, making the tea. Maria turned her face and asked for Meta: Margery answered that she was coming in by-and-by. Very little was said. George drew a chair near Maria[454] and leaned upon the arm of the sofa. The tea, so far as she went, was a mockery: George put a teaspoonful85 into her mouth, but she with difficulty swallowed it, and shook her head when he would have given her more. It did not seem to be much else than a mockery for the others: Grace’s tears dropped into hers, and George suffered his to grow cold and then swallowed it at a draught86, as if it was a relief to get rid of it. Margery was called again to take the things away, and Maria, who was leaning back on the sofa with closed eyes, asked again for Meta to come in.
Then Margery had to confess that Miss Meta was not at home to come in. She had gone out visiting. The facts of the case were these. Lord Averil, after quitting the house, had returned to it to say a word to George which he had forgotten: but finding George had gone into his wife’s room, he would not have him disturbed. It was just at the moment that Margery had carried out Meta, and the young lady was rather restive87 at the proceedings88, crying loudly. His lordship proposed to carry her off to Ashlydyat. Margery seized upon the offer. She took down a woollen shawl and the child’s garden-hat that were hanging on the pegs89, and enveloped90 her in them without ceremony. “They’ll do as well as getting out her best things, my lord, if you won’t mind them: and it will be almost dusk by the time you get to Ashlydyat.”
It was quite the same to Lord Averil, whether the young lady was bundled up as she was now, or decked out in a lace frock and crinoline. He led her down the path, talking pleasantly; but Meta’s breath was caught up incessantly91 with sobbing sighs. Her heart was full, imperfect as her idea of the calamity92 overshadowing her necessarily was.
Thus it happened that Miss Meta was not at hand when Maria asked for her. Whether it was from this, or from causes wholly unconnected with it, in a short time Maria grew restless: restless, as it seemed, both in body and mind, and it was deemed advisable that she should not sit up longer.
“Go for Meta while they get me into bed, George,” she said to him. “I want her to be near me.”
He went out at once. But he did not immediately turn to Ashlydyat: with hasty steps he took the road to Mr. Snow’s. There had been a yearning77 on George Godolphin’s mind, ever since he first saw his wife in the afternoon, to put the anxious question to one or both of the medical men: “Can nothing be done to prolong her life, even for the shortest space of time?”
Mr. Snow was out: the surgery boy did not know where: “Paying visits,” he supposed, and George turned his steps to Dr. Beale’s, who lived now in Prior’s Ash, though he used not to live in it. Dr. Beale’s house was ablaze93 with light, and Dr. Beale was at home, the servant said, but he had a dinner-party.
How the words seemed to grate on his ear! A dinner-party!—gaiety, lights, noise, mirth, eating and drinking, when his wife was dying! But the next moment reflection came to him: the approaching death of a patient is not wont94 to cast its influence on a physician’s private life.
He demanded to see Dr. Beale in spite of the dinner-party. George[455] Godolphin forgot recent occurrences, exacting95 still the deference96 paid to him all his life, when Prior’s Ash had bowed down to the Godolphins. He was shown into a room, and Dr. Beale came out to him.
But the doctor, though he would willingly have smoothed matters to him, could not give him hope. George asked for the truth, and he had it—that his wife’s life now might be counted by hours. He went out and proceeded towards Ashlydyat, taking the near way down Crosse Street, by the Bank—the Bank that once was: it would lead him through the dull Ash-tree Walk with its ghostly story; but what cared George Godolphin?
Did a remembrance of the past come over him as he glanced up at the Bank’s well-known windows?—a remembrance that pricked97 him with its sharp sting? He need never have left that house; but for his own recklessness, folly98, wickedness—call it what you will—he might have been in it still, one of the honoured Godolphins, heir to Ashlydyat, his wife well and happy by his side. Now!—he went striding on with wide steps, and he took off his hat and raised his burning brow to the keen night air. You may leave the house behind you, George Godolphin, and so put it out of your sight, but you cannot blot out your memory.
Grace had remained with Maria. She was in bed now, but the restlessness seemed to continue. “I want Meta; bring Meta.”
“Dear Maria, your husband has but just gone for her,” breathed Grace. “She will soon be here.”
It seemed to satisfy her. She lay still, looking upwards99, her breath, or Mrs. Akeman fancied it, growing shorter. Grace, hot tears blinding her eyes, bent forward to kiss her wasted cheek.
“Maria, I was very harsh to you,” she whispered. “I feel it now. I can only pray God to forgive me. I loved you always, and when that dreadful trouble came, I felt angry for your sake. I said unkind things to you and of you, but in the depth of my heart there lay the pain and the anger because you suffered. Will you forgive me?”
She raised her feeble hand and laid it lovingly on the cheek of Grace. “There is nothing to forgive, Grace,” she murmured. “What are our poor little offences one against the other? Think how much Heaven has to forgive us all. Oh, Grace, I am going to it! I am going away from care.”
Grace stood up to dash away her tears; but they came faster and faster. “I would ask you to let me atone100 to you, Maria,” she sobbed—“I would ask you to let me welcome Meta to our home. We are not rich, but we have enough for comfort, and I will try to bring her up a good woman; I will love her as my own child.”
“She goes to Cecil.” There was no attempt at thanks in words—Maria was growing beyond it; nothing but the fresh touch of the hand’s loving pressure. And that relaxed with the next moment and fell upon the bed.
Grace felt somewhat alarmed. She cleared the mist from her eyes and bent them steadily101 on Maria’s face. It seemed to have changed. “Do you feel worse?” she softly asked.
Maria opened her lips, but no sound came from them. She attempted to point with her finger to the door; she then threw her eyes in the same direction; but why or what she wanted it was impossible to tell.[456] Grace, her heart beating wildly, flew across the little hall to the kitchen.
“Oh, Margery, I think she is sinking! Come you and see.”
Margery hastened in. Her mistress evidently was sinking, and was conscious of it. The eager, anxious look upon her face and her raised hand proved that she was wanting something.
“Is it my master?—Is it the child?” cried Margery, bending over her. “They won’t be long, ma’am.”
It was Margery’s habit to soothe102 the dying, even if she had to do it at some little expense of veracity103. She knew that her master could not go to Ashlydyat and be home just yet: she did not know of his visits to the houses of the doctors: but if she had known it she would equally have said, “They won’t be long.”
But the eager look continued on Maria’s face, and it became evident to experienced Margery that her master and Meta were not the anxious point. Maria’s lips moved, and Margery bent her ear.
“Papa! Is it time?”
“It’s the Sacrament she’s thinking of,” whispered Margery to Mrs. Akeman: “or else that she wants to take leave of him. The Rector was to come at eight o’clock; he told me so when he called in again this afternoon. What is to be done, ma’am?”
“And it is only half-past six! We must send to him at once.”
Margery seemed in some uncertainty104. “Shall you be afraid to stay here alone, ma’am, if I go?”
“Why! where is Jean?”
Jean, one of the old servants of Ashlydyat, discharged with the rest when the bankruptcy105 had come, but now in service there again under Lord and Lady Averil, had been with Margery all day. She had now been sent out by the latter for certain errands wanted in the town.
A tremor106 came over Mrs. Akeman at Margery’s question, as to whether she would be afraid to stay there alone. To one not accustomed to it, it does require peculiar107 courage to remain with the dying. But Grace could call up a brave spirit at will, and she no longer hesitated, when she saw the continued eager look on her sister’s face.
“Make haste, Margery. I shall not mind. Mrs. James is in the house, and I can call her if I see a necessity for doing so. Margery!”—following her outside the door to whisper it—“do you see that strange look in her face? Is it death?”
She was trembling all over, as she spoke, in nervous trepidation108. It was to be a memorable109 night, that, what with one emotion and another, in the memory of Grace Akeman. Margery’s answer was characteristic. “It does look like it, ma’am; but I have seen them like this, and then rally again. Anyhow, it can’t be far off. Mrs. Akeman, it seems to me that all the good ones are leaving the world. First Mr. Godolphin, and now her!”
Margery had scarcely been gone five minutes when Lord Averil came back with Meta. They had not met George. It was not likely that they had, seeing that he was going to Ashlydyat by a different route. In point of fact, at that moment George was about turning into Crosse Street, passing his old house with those enlivening reminiscences of his.[457] Grace explained why she was alone, and Lord Averil took off his hat and great-coat to remain.
Maria asked for him. He went up to the bed and she smiled at him and moved her hand. Lord Averil took it between his, the tears gathering110 in his earnest eyes as he saw the change in her.
“She has been as happy as possible with us all the evening,” he gently said, alluding111 to the child. “We will do all we can for her always.”
“Tell Cecil—to bring—her up—for God.”
She must have revived a little or she could not have spoken the words. By-and-by, Margery was heard to enter, panting with the speed she had made, and Mr. Hastings was not far behind.
As the clergyman approached the gate, he saw a man leaning over it, in the light cast by the white snow of the winter’s night. It was David Jekyl.
“I thought I’d ask how the young missis was, sir, as I went home, but it might be disturbing of ’em to go right up to the door,” he said, drawing back to make way for the Rector. “It were said in the town, as I come along, that she was worse.”
“Yes, David, she is worse; as ill as she can be. I have just had a message.”
David twirled his grey felt hat awkwardly round on his hand, stroking its napless surface with his other arm. He did not raise his eyes as he spoke to the Rector.
“Might be, you’d just say a word to her about that money, sir, asking of her not to let it worry her mind. It is said as them things have worried her more nor need be. If you could say a word for us, sir, that we don’t think of it any more, it might comfort her like.”
“The trouble for her has passed, David: to say this to her might bring her thoughts back to it. Heaven is opening to her, earth is closing. Thank you for your thoughtfulness.”
The Reverend Mr. Hastings continued his way slowly up the path, whence the snow had been swept away. Illness was upon him, and he could not walk quickly. It was a dull night, and yet there was that peculiar light in the atmosphere, often seen when the earth is covered with snow. The door was held open, awaiting him; and the minister uncovered his head, and stepped in with his solemn greeting:
“Peace be to this house and to all that dwell in it!”
There could be no waiting for George Godolphin: the spirit might be on its wing. They gathered in the room, Grace, Margery, and Viscount Averil: and, the stillness broken only by the hushed sobs of Grace, Mr. Hastings administered the last rite112 of our religion to his dying child.
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1 smoothly | |
adv.平滑地,顺利地,流利地,流畅地 | |
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2 despatch | |
n./v.(dispatch)派遣;发送;n.急件;新闻报道 | |
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3 lodgings | |
n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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4 virtuous | |
adj.有品德的,善良的,贞洁的,有效力的 | |
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5 heartily | |
adv.衷心地,诚恳地,十分,很 | |
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6 immediate | |
adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的 | |
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7 remonstrated | |
v.抗议( remonstrate的过去式和过去分词 );告诫 | |
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8 disorder | |
n.紊乱,混乱;骚动,骚乱;疾病,失调 | |
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9 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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10 sitting-room | |
n.(BrE)客厅,起居室 | |
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11 partially | |
adv.部分地,从某些方面讲 | |
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12 soften | |
v.(使)变柔软;(使)变柔和 | |
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13 chamber | |
n.房间,寝室;会议厅;议院;会所 | |
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14 dreary | |
adj.令人沮丧的,沉闷的,单调乏味的 | |
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15 merging | |
合并(分类) | |
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16 twilight | |
n.暮光,黄昏;暮年,晚期,衰落时期 | |
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17 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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18 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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19 untied | |
松开,解开( untie的过去式和过去分词 ); 解除,使自由; 解决 | |
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20 wan | |
(wide area network)广域网 | |
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21 manly | |
adj.有男子气概的;adv.男子般地,果断地 | |
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22 commotion | |
n.骚动,动乱 | |
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23 wrung | |
绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 ); 握紧(尤指别人的手); 把(湿衣服)拧干; 绞掉(水) | |
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24 wailing | |
v.哭叫,哀号( wail的现在分词 );沱 | |
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25 sobbed | |
哭泣,啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 ); 哭诉,呜咽地说 | |
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26 anguish | |
n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦,烦恼 | |
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27 pricks | |
刺痛( prick的名词复数 ); 刺孔; 刺痕; 植物的刺 | |
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28 mingled | |
混合,混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 ); 混进,与…交往[联系] | |
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29 sojourn | |
v./n.旅居,寄居;逗留 | |
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30 allude | |
v.提及,暗指 | |
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31 stammer | |
n.结巴,口吃;v.结结巴巴地说 | |
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32 passionate | |
adj.热情的,热烈的,激昂的,易动情的,易怒的,性情暴躁的 | |
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33 passionately | |
ad.热烈地,激烈地 | |
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34 assented | |
同意,赞成( assent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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35 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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36 agitation | |
n.搅动;搅拌;鼓动,煽动 | |
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37 bosom | |
n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
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38 sufficiently | |
adv.足够地,充分地 | |
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39 nay | |
adv.不;n.反对票,投反对票者 | |
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40 attain | |
vt.达到,获得,完成 | |
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41 gratitude | |
adj.感激,感谢 | |
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42 repentance | |
n.懊悔 | |
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43 contrived | |
adj.不自然的,做作的;虚构的 | |
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44 wither | |
vt.使凋谢,使衰退,(用眼神气势等)使畏缩;vi.枯萎,衰退,消亡 | |
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45 fretted | |
焦躁的,附有弦马的,腐蚀的 | |
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46 follies | |
罪恶,时事讽刺剧; 愚蠢,蠢笨,愚蠢的行为、思想或做法( folly的名词复数 ) | |
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47 eternity | |
n.不朽,来世;永恒,无穷 | |
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48 erased | |
v.擦掉( erase的过去式和过去分词 );抹去;清除 | |
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49 inclination | |
n.倾斜;点头;弯腰;斜坡;倾度;倾向;爱好 | |
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50 illuminating | |
a.富于启发性的,有助阐明的 | |
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51 sobbing | |
<主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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52 momentary | |
adj.片刻的,瞬息的;短暂的 | |
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53 irritation | |
n.激怒,恼怒,生气 | |
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54 impulsively | |
adv.冲动地 | |
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55 iota | |
n.些微,一点儿 | |
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56 inflicted | |
把…强加给,使承受,遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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57 blot | |
vt.弄脏(用吸墨纸)吸干;n.污点,污渍 | |
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58 hideous | |
adj.丑陋的,可憎的,可怕的,恐怖的 | |
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59 reprisal | |
n.报复,报仇,报复性劫掠 | |
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60 exhausted | |
adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的 | |
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61 jauntily | |
adv.心满意足地;洋洋得意地;高兴地;活泼地 | |
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62 prancing | |
v.(马)腾跃( prance的现在分词 ) | |
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63 distressed | |
痛苦的 | |
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64 countenance | |
n.脸色,面容;面部表情;vt.支持,赞同 | |
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65 flaunting | |
adj.招摇的,扬扬得意的,夸耀的v.炫耀,夸耀( flaunt的现在分词 );有什么能耐就施展出来 | |
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66 crammed | |
adj.塞满的,挤满的;大口地吃;快速贪婪地吃v.把…塞满;填入;临时抱佛脚( cram的过去式) | |
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67 presidency | |
n.总统(校长,总经理)的职位(任期) | |
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68 humiliation | |
n.羞辱 | |
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69 awakened | |
v.(使)醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 );(使)觉醒;弄醒;(使)意识到 | |
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70 slumber | |
n.睡眠,沉睡状态 | |
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71 lighting | |
n.照明,光线的明暗,舞台灯光 | |
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72 bonnet | |
n.无边女帽;童帽 | |
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73 dissent | |
n./v.不同意,持异议 | |
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74 hectic | |
adj.肺病的;消耗热的;发热的;闹哄哄的 | |
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75 cynically | |
adv.爱嘲笑地,冷笑地 | |
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76 wailed | |
v.哭叫,哀号( wail的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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77 yearning | |
a.渴望的;向往的;怀念的 | |
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78 yearningly | |
怀念地,思慕地,同情地; 渴 | |
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79 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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80 swelling | |
n.肿胀 | |
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81 subdue | |
vt.制服,使顺从,征服;抑制,克制 | |
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82 sobs | |
啜泣(声),呜咽(声)( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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83 incentive | |
n.刺激;动力;鼓励;诱因;动机 | |
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84 yearned | |
渴望,切盼,向往( yearn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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85 teaspoonful | |
n.一茶匙的量;一茶匙容量 | |
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86 draught | |
n.拉,牵引,拖;一网(饮,吸,阵);顿服药量,通风;v.起草,设计 | |
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87 restive | |
adj.不安宁的,不安静的 | |
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88 proceedings | |
n.进程,过程,议程;诉讼(程序);公报 | |
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89 pegs | |
n.衣夹( peg的名词复数 );挂钉;系帐篷的桩;弦钮v.用夹子或钉子固定( peg的第三人称单数 );使固定在某水平 | |
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90 enveloped | |
v.包围,笼罩,包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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91 incessantly | |
ad.不停地 | |
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92 calamity | |
n.灾害,祸患,不幸事件 | |
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93 ablaze | |
adj.着火的,燃烧的;闪耀的,灯火辉煌的 | |
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94 wont | |
adj.习惯于;v.习惯;n.习惯 | |
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95 exacting | |
adj.苛求的,要求严格的 | |
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96 deference | |
n.尊重,顺从;敬意 | |
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97 pricked | |
刺,扎,戳( prick的过去式和过去分词 ); 刺伤; 刺痛; 使剧痛 | |
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98 folly | |
n.愚笨,愚蠢,蠢事,蠢行,傻话 | |
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99 upwards | |
adv.向上,在更高处...以上 | |
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100 atone | |
v.赎罪,补偿 | |
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101 steadily | |
adv.稳定地;不变地;持续地 | |
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102 soothe | |
v.安慰;使平静;使减轻;缓和;奉承 | |
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103 veracity | |
n.诚实 | |
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104 uncertainty | |
n.易变,靠不住,不确知,不确定的事物 | |
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105 bankruptcy | |
n.破产;无偿付能力 | |
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106 tremor | |
n.震动,颤动,战栗,兴奋,地震 | |
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107 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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108 trepidation | |
n.惊恐,惶恐 | |
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109 memorable | |
adj.值得回忆的,难忘的,特别的,显著的 | |
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110 gathering | |
n.集会,聚会,聚集 | |
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111 alluding | |
提及,暗指( allude的现在分词 ) | |
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112 rite | |
n.典礼,惯例,习俗 | |
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