Just then there came a light tap at his door. He opened it,—and Zaroba stood before him. No repentance1 for her fault of disobedience and betrayal of trust clouded that withered2 old face of hers,—her deep-set dark eyes glittered with triumph, and her whole aspect was one of commanding, and almost imperious, dignity. In fact, she made such an ostentatious show of her own self-importance in her look and manner that El-Râmi stared at her for a moment in haughty3 amazement4 at what he considered her effrontery5 in thus boldly facing him after her direct violation6 of his commands. He eyed her up and down—she returned him glance for glance unquailingly.
“Let me come in—” she said in her strong harsh voice—“I make no doubt but that the poor lad Féraz has told you his story—now, as God liveth, you must hear mine.”
El-Râmi turned upon his heel with a contemptuous movement, and went back to his own chair by the writing-table. Zaroba, paying no heed7 to the wrath8 conveyed by this mute action, stalked in also, and, shutting the door after her, came and stood close beside him.
“Write down what you think of me—” she said, pointing with her yellow forefinger9 at the pens and paper—“Write the worst. I have betrayed my trust. That is true. I have disobeyed your commands after keeping them for six long years. True again. What else?”
El-Râmi fixed10 his eyes upon her, a world of indignation and reproach in their brilliant depths, and snatching up a pencil he wrote on a slip of paper rapidly—
“Nothing else—nothing more than treachery! You are unworthy of your sacred task—you are false to your sworn fidelity11.”
Zaroba read the lines as quickly as he wrote them, but when she came to the last words she made a swift gesture of denial, and drew herself up haughtily12.
“No—not false!” she said passionately—“Not false to you, El-Râmi, I swear! I would slay13 myself rather than do you wrong. You saved my life, though my life was not worth saving, and for that gentle deed I would pour out every drop of my blood to requite14 you. No, no! Zaroba is not false—she is true!”
She tossed up her arms wildly,—then suddenly folding them tight across her chest, she dropped her voice to a gentler and more appealing tone.
“Hear me, El-Râmi!—Hear me, wise man and Master of the magic of the East!—I have done well for you;—well! I have disobeyed you for your own sake,—I have betrayed my trust that you may discover how and where you may find your best reward. I have sinned with the resolved intent to make you happy,—as God liveth, I speak truth from my heart and soul!”
El-Râmi turned towards her, his face expressing curiosity in spite of himself. He was very pale, and outwardly he was calm enough—but his nerves were on the rack of suspense—he wondered what sudden frenzied15 idea had possessed16 this woman that she should comport17 herself as though she held some strange secret of which the very utterance18 might move heaven and earth to wonderment. Controlling his feelings with an effort he wrote again—
“There exists no reason for disloyalty. Your excuses avail nothing—let me hear no more of them. Tell me of Lilith—what news?”
“News!” repeated Zaroba scornfully—“What news should there be? She breathes and sleeps as she has breathed and slept always—she has not stirred. There is no harm done by my bidding Féraz look on her,—no change is wrought19 except in you, El-Râmi!—except in you!”
Half springing from his chair he confronted her—then recollecting20 her deafness, he bit his lips angrily and sank back again with an assumed air of indifference21.
“You have heard Féraz—” pursued Zaroba, with that indescribable triumph of hers lighting22 up her strong old face—“You must now hear me. I thank the gods that my ears are closed to the sound of human voices, and that neither reproach nor curse can move me to dismay. And I am ignorant of your magic, El-Râmi,—the magic that chills the blood and sends the spirit flitting through the land of dreams,—the only magic I know is the magic of the heart—of the passions,—a natural witchcraft23 that conquers the world!”
She waved her arms to and fro—then crossing them on her bosom24, she made a profound half-mocking salutation.
“Wise El-Râmi Zarânos!” she said. “Proud ruler of the arts and sciences that govern Nature,—have you ever, with all your learning, taken the measure of your own passions, and slain25 them so utterly26 that they shall never rise up again? They sleep at times, like the serpents of the desert, coiled up in many a secret place,—but at the touch of some unwary heel, some casual falling pebble27, they unwind their lengths—they raise their glittering heads, and sting! I, Zaroba, have felt them here”—and she pressed her hands more closely on her breast—“I have felt their poison in my blood—sweet poison, sweeter than life!—their stings have given me all the joy my days have ever known. But it is not of myself that I should speak—it is of you—of you, whose life is lonely, and for whom the coming years hold forth28 no prospect29 of delight. When I lay dying in the desert and you restored me to strength again, I swore to serve you with fidelity. As God liveth, El-Râmi, I have kept my vow,—and in return for the life you gave me I bid you take what is yours to claim—the love of Lilith!”
El-Râmi rose out of his chair, white to the lips, and his hand shook. If he could have concentrated his inward forces at that moment, he would have struck Zaroba dumb by one effort of his will, and so put an end to her undesired eloquence,—but something, he knew not what, disturbed the centre of his self-control, and his thoughts were in a whirl. He despised himself for the unusual emotion which seized him—inwardly he was furious with the garrulous30 old woman,—but outwardly he could only make her an angry imperative31 sign to be silent.
“Nay, I will not cease from speaking—” said Zaroba imperturbably—“for all has to be said now, or never. The love of Lilith! imagine it, El-Râmi!—the clinging of her young white arms—the kisses of her sweet red mouth,—the open glances of her innocent eyes—all this is yours, if you but say the word. Listen! For six and more long years I have watched her,—and I have watched you. She has slept the sleep of death-in-life, for you have willed it so,—and in that sleep she has imperceptibly passed from childhood to womanhood. You—cold as a man of bronze or marble,—have made of her nothing but a ‘subject’ for your science,—and never a breath of love or longing32 on your part, or even admiration33 for her beauty, has stirred the virgin34-trance in which she lies. And I have marvelled35 at it—I have thought—and I have prayed;—the gods have answered me, and now I know!”
She clapped her hands ecstatically, and then went on.
“The child Lilith died,—but you, El-Râmi, you caused her to live again. And she lives still—yes, though it may suit your fancy to declare her dead. She is a woman—you are a man;—you dare not keep her longer in that living death—you dare not doom36 her to perpetual darkness!—the gods would curse you for such cruelty, and who may abide37 their curse? I, Zaroba, have sworn it—Lilith shall know the joys of love!—and you, El-Râmi Zarânos, shall be her lover!—and for this holy end I have employed the talisman38 which alone sets fire to the sleeping passions...” and she craned her neck forward and almost hissed39 the word in his ear—“Jealousy!”
El-Râmi smiled—a cold derisive40 smile, which implied the most utter contempt for the whole of Zaroba’s wild harangue41. She, however, went on undismayed, and with increasing excitement—
“Jealousy!” she cried—“The little asp is in your soul already, proud El-Râmi Zarânos, and why? Because another’s eyes have looked on Lilith! This was my work! It was I who led Féraz into her chamber,—it was I who bade him kneel beside her as she slept,—it was I who let him touch her hand,—and though I could not hear his voice I know he called upon her to awaken42. In vain!—he might as well have called the dead—I knew she would not stir for him—her very breath belongs to you. But I—I let him gaze upon her beauty and worship it,—all his young soul was in his eyes—he looked and looked again and loved what he beheld43! And mark me yet further, El-Râmi,—I saw her smile when Féraz took her hand,—so, though she did not move, she felt; she felt a touch that was not yours,—not yours, El-Râmi!—as God liveth, she is not quite so much your own as once she was!”
As she said this and laughed in that triumphant44 way, El-Râmi advanced one step towards her with a fierce movement as though he would have thrust her from the room,—checking himself, however, he seized the pencil again and wrote—
“I have listened to you with more patience than you deserve. You are an ignorant woman and foolish—your fancies have no foundation whatever in fact. Your disobedience might have ruined my life’s work,—as it is, I daresay some mischief45 has been done. Return to your duties, and take heed how you trespass46 against my command in future. If you dare to speak to me on this subject again I will have you shipped back to your own land and left there, as friendless and as unprovided for as you were when I saved you from death by famine. Go—and let me hear no more foolishness.”
Zaroba read, and her face darkened and grew weary—but the pride and obstinacy47 of her own convictions remained written on every line of her features. She bowed her head resignedly, however, and said in slow even tones—
“El-Râmi Zarânos is wise,—El-Râmi Zarânos is master. But let him remember the words of Zaroba. Zaroba is also skilled in the ways and the arts of the East,—and the voice of Fate speaks sometimes to the lowest as well as to the highest. There are the laws of Life and the laws of Death—but there are also the laws of Love. Without the laws of Love, the Universe would cease to be,—it is for El-Râmi Zarânos to prove himself stronger than the Universe,—if he can!”
She made the usual obsequious48 “salaam” common to Eastern races, and then with a swift, silent movement left the room, closing the door noiselessly behind her. El-Râmi stood where she had left him, idly tearing up the scraps49 of paper on which he had written his part of the conversation,—he was hardly conscious of thought, so great were his emotions of surprise and self-contempt.
“‘O what a rogue50 and peasant-slave am I!’” he muttered, quoting his favourite Hamlet—“Why did I not paralyse her tongue before she spoke51? Where had fled my force,—what became of my skill? Surely I could have struck her down before me with the speed of a lightning-flash—only—she is a woman—and old. Strange how these feminine animals always harp52 on the subject of love, as though it were the Be-all and End-all of everything. The love of Lilith! Oh fool! The love of a corpse53 kept breathing by artificial means! And what of the Soul of Lilith? Can It love? Can It hate? Can It even feel? Surely not. It is an ethereal transparency,—a delicate film which takes upon itself the reflex of all existing things without experiencing personal emotion. Such is the Soul, as I believe in it—an immortal54 Essence, in itself formless, yet capable of taking all forms,—ignorant of the joys or pains of feeling, yet reflecting all shades of sensation as a crystal reflects all colours in the prism. This, and no more.”
He paced up and down the room—and a deep involuntary sigh escaped him.
“No—” he murmured, as though answering some inward query—“No, I will not go to her now—not till the appointed time. I resolved on an absence of forty-eight hours, and forty-eight hours it shall be. Then I will go,—and she will tell me all—I shall know the full extent of the mischief done. And so Féraz ‘looked and looked again, and loved what he beheld!’ Love! The very word seems like a desecrating55 blot56 on the virgin soul of Lilith!”
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1
repentance
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| n.懊悔 | |
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2
withered
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| adj. 枯萎的，干瘪的，（人身体的部分器官）因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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3
haughty
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| adj.傲慢的，高傲的 | |
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amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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effrontery
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| n.厚颜无耻 | |
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violation
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| n.违反(行为)，违背(行为)，侵犯 | |
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7
heed
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| v.注意，留意；n.注意，留心 | |
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8
wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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9
forefinger
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| n.食指 | |
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10
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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11
fidelity
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| n.忠诚，忠实；精确 | |
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12
haughtily
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| adv. 傲慢地, 高傲地 | |
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13
slay
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| v.杀死，宰杀，杀戮 | |
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14
requite
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| v.报酬，报答 | |
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15
frenzied
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| a.激怒的；疯狂的 | |
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16
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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17
comport
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| vi.相称，适合 | |
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18
utterance
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| n.用言语表达，话语，言语 | |
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19
wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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20
recollecting
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| v.记起，想起( recollect的现在分词 ) | |
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21
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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22
lighting
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| n.照明，光线的明暗，舞台灯光 | |
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witchcraft
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| n.魔法，巫术 | |
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24
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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25
slain
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| 杀死，宰杀，杀戮( slay的过去分词 )； (slay的过去分词) | |
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26
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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pebble
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| n.卵石，小圆石 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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30
garrulous
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| adj.唠叨的，多话的 | |
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31
imperative
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| n.命令，需要；规则；祈使语气；adj.强制的；紧急的 | |
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32
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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33
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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34
virgin
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| n.处女，未婚女子；adj.未经使用的；未经开发的 | |
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35
marvelled
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| v.惊奇，对…感到惊奇( marvel的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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36
doom
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| n.厄运，劫数；v.注定，命定 | |
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37
abide
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| vi.遵守；坚持；vt.忍受 | |
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38
talisman
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| n.避邪物，护身符 | |
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39
hissed
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| 发嘶嘶声( hiss的过去式和过去分词 )； 发嘘声表示反对 | |
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40
derisive
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| adj.嘲弄的 | |
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41
harangue
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| n.慷慨冗长的训话，言辞激烈的讲话 | |
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42
awaken
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| vi.醒，觉醒；vt.唤醒，使觉醒，唤起，激起 | |
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43
beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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44
triumphant
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| adj.胜利的，成功的；狂欢的，喜悦的 | |
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45
mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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46
trespass
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| n./v.侵犯，闯入私人领地 | |
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47
obstinacy
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| n.顽固；（病痛等）难治 | |
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48
obsequious
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| adj.谄媚的，奉承的，顺从的 | |
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49
scraps
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| 油渣 | |
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50
rogue
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| n.流氓；v.游手好闲 | |
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51
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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52
harp
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| n.竖琴；天琴座 | |
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53
corpse
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| n.尸体，死尸 | |
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54
immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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55
desecrating
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| 毁坏或亵渎( desecrate的现在分词 ) | |
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56
blot
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| vt.弄脏（用吸墨纸）吸干；n.污点，污渍 | |
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