“Thank God!” muttered Féraz—“Whatever has happened, he lives!—Thank God he lives! When he recovers, he will tell me all;—there can be no secrets now between him and me.”
And he resumed his quick and careful ministrations, while Zaroba still wailed27 and wrung28 her hands, and stared miserably29 at the empty couch, whereon her beautiful charge had lain, slumbering30 away the hours and days for six long years. She too saw the little heaps and trackings of gray dust on the pillows and coverlid, and her feeble limbs shook with such terror that she could scarcely stand.
“The gods have taken her!” she whispered faintly through her pallid31 lips—“The gods are avenged32! When did they ever have mercy! They have claimed their own with the breath and the fire of lightning, and the dust of a maiden’s beauty is no more than the dust of a flower! The dreadful, terrible gods are avenged—at last ... at last!”
And sinking down upon the floor, she huddled33 herself together, and drew her yellow draperies over her head, after the Eastern manner of expressing inconsolable grief, and covered her aged18 features from the very light of day.
Féraz heeded34 her not at all, his sole attention being occupied in the care of his brother, whose large black eyes now opened suddenly and regarded him with a vacant expression like the eyes of a blind man. A great shudder15 ran through his frame,—he looked curiously35 at his own hands as Féraz gently pressed and rubbed them,—and he stared all round the room in vaguely-inquiring wonderment. Presently his wandering glance came back to Féraz, and the vacancy36 of his expression softened37 into a certain pleased mildness,—his lips parted in a little smile, but he said nothing.
“You are better, El-Râmi, my brother?” murmured Féraz caressingly38, trembling and almost weeping in the excess of his affectionate anxiety, the while he placed his own figure so that it might obstruct39 a too immediate40 view of Lilith’s vacant couch, and the covered crouching41 form of old Zaroba beside it—“You have no pain? ... you do not suffer?”
El-Râmi made no answer for the moment;—he was looking at Féraz with a gentle but puzzled inquisitiveness42. Presently his dark brows contracted slightly, as though he were trying to connect some perplexing chain of ideas,—then he gave a slight gesture of fatigue43 and indifference44.
“You will excuse me, I hope,—” he then said with plaintive45 courtesy—“I have forgotten your name. I believe I met you once, but I cannot remember where.”
The heart of poor Féraz stood still, ... a great sob46 rose in his throat. But he checked it bravely,—he would not, he could not, he dared not give way to the awful fear that began to creep like a frost through his warm young blood.
“You cannot remember Féraz?” he said gently—“Your own Féraz? ... your little brother, to whom you have been life, hope, joy, work—everything of value in the world!” Here his voice failed him, and he nearly broke down.
El-Râmi looked at him in grave surprise.
“You are very good!” he murmured, with a feebly polite wave of his hand;—“You overrate my poor powers. I am glad to have been useful to you—very glad!”
Here he paused;—his head sank forward on his breast, and his eyes closed.
“El-Râmi!” cried Féraz, the hot tears forcing their way between his eyelids—“Oh, my belovëd brother!—have you no thought for me?”
El-Râmi opened his eyes and stared;—then smiled.
“No thought?” he repeated—“Oh, you mistake!—I have thought very much,—very much indeed, about many things. Not about you perhaps,—but then I do not know you. You say your name is Féraz,—that is very strange; it is not at all a common name. I only knew one Féraz,—he was my brother, or seemed so for a time,—but I found out afterwards, ... hush9! ... come closer! ...” and he lowered his voice to a whisper,—“that he was not a mortal, but an angel,—the angel of a Star. The Star knew him better than I did.”
Féraz turned away his head,—the tears were falling down his cheeks—he could not speak. He realised the bitter truth,—the delicate overstrained mechanism47 of his brother’s mind had given way under excessive pain and pressure,—that brilliant, proud, astute48, cold and defiant49 intellect was all unstrung and out of gear, and rendered useless, perchance for ever.
El-Râmi however seemed to have some glimmering50 perception of Féraz’s grief, for he put out a trembling hand and turned his brother’s face towards him with gentle concern.
“Tears?” he said in a surprised tone—“Why should you weep? There is nothing to weep for;—God is very good.”
And with an effort, he rose from the chair in which he had sat, and standing51 upright, looked about him. His eye at once lighted on the vase of roses at the foot of the couch and he began to tremble violently. Féraz caught him by the arm,—and then he seemed startled and afraid.
“She promised, ... she promised!” he began in an incoherent rambling52 way—“and you must not interfere,—you must let me do her bidding. ‘Look for me where the roses are; there will I stand and wait!’ She said that,—and she will wait, and I will look, for she is sure to keep her word—no angel ever forgets. You must not hinder me;—I have to watch and pray,—you must help me, not hinder me. I shall die if you will not let me do what she asks;—you cannot tell how sweet her voice is;—she talks to me and tells me of such wonderful things,—things too beautiful to be believed, yet they are true. I know so well my work;—work that must be done,—you will not hinder me?”
“No, no!”—said Féraz, in anguish53 himself, yet willing to say anything to soothe54 his brother’s trembling excitement—“No, no! You shall not be hindered,—I will help you,—I will watch with you,—I will pray ...” and here again the poor fellow nearly broke down into womanish sobbing55.
“Yes!” said El-Râmi, eagerly catching56 at the word—“Pray! You will pray—and so will I;—that is good,—that is what I need,—prayer, they say, draws all Heaven down to earth. It is strange,—but so it is. You know”—he added, with a faint gleam of intelligence lighting57 up for a moment his wandering eyes—“Lilith is not here! Not here, nor there, ... she is Everywhere!”
A terrible pallor stole over his face, giving it almost the livid hue58 of death,—and Féraz, alarmed, threw one arm strongly and resolutely59 about him. But El-Râmi crouched60 and shuddered61, and hid his eyes as though he strove to shelter himself from the fury of a whirlwind.
“Everywhere!” he moaned—“In the flowers, in the trees, in the winds, in the sound of the sea, in the silence of the night, in the slow breaking of the dawn,—in all these things is the Soul of Lilith! Beautiful, indestructible, terrible Lilith! She permeates62 the world, she pervades63 the atmosphere, she shapes and unshapes herself at pleasure,—she floats, or flies, or sleeps at will;—in substance, a cloud;—in radiance, a rainbow! She is the essence of God in the transient shape of an angel—never the same, but for ever immortal64. She soars aloft—she melts like mist in the vast Unseen!—and I—I—I shall never find her, never know her, never see her, never, never again!”
The harrowing tone of voice in which he uttered these words pierced Féraz to the heart, but he would not give way to his own emotion.
“Come, El-Râmi!” he said very gently—“Do not stay here,—come with me. You are weak,—rest on my arm; you must try and recover your strength,—remember, you have work to do.”
“True, true!” said El-Râmi, rousing himself—“Yes, you are right,—there is much to be done. Nothing is so difficult as patience. To be left all alone, and to be patient, is very hard,—but I will come,—I will come.”
He suffered himself to be led towards the door,—then, all at once he came to an abrupt65 standstill, and looking round, gazed full on the empty couch where Lilith had so long been royally enshrined. A sudden passion seemed to seize him—his eyes sparkled luridly,—a sort of inward paroxysm convulsed his features, and he clutched Féraz by the shoulder with a grip as hard as steel.
“Roses and lilies and gold!” he muttered thickly—“They were all there, those delicate treasures, those airy nothings of which God makes woman! Roses for the features, lilies for the bosom66, gold for the hair!—roses, lilies, and gold! They were mine,—but I have burned them all!—I have burned the roses and lilies, and melted the gold. Dust!—dust and ashes! But the dust is not Lilith. No!—it is only the dust of the roses, the dust of the lilies, the dust of gold. Roses, lilies, and gold! So sweet they are and fair to the sight, one would almost take them for real substance; but they are Shadows!—shadows that pass as we touch them,—shadows that always go, when most we would have them stay!”
He finished with a deep shuddering sigh, and then, loosening his grasp of Féraz, began to stumble his way hurriedly out of the apartment, with the manner of one who is lost in a dense67 fog and cannot see whither he is going. Féraz hastened to assist and support him, whereupon he looked up with a pathetic and smiling gratefulness.
“You are very good to me,” he said, with a gentle courtesy, which in his condition was peculiarly touching—“I thought I should never need any support;—but I was wrong—quite wrong,—and it is kind of you to help me. My eyes are rather dim,—there was too much light among the roses, ... and I find this place extremely dark, ... it makes me feel a little confused here;”—and he passed his hand across his forehead with a troubled gesture, and looked anxiously at Féraz, as though he would ask him for some explanation of his symptoms.
“Yes, yes!” murmured Féraz soothingly—“You must be tired—you will rest, and presently you will feel strong and well again. Do not hurry,—lean on me,”—and he guided his brother’s trembling limbs carefully down the stairs, a step at a time, thinking within himself in deep sorrow—Could this be the proud El-Râmi, clinging to him thus like a weak old man afraid to move? Oh, what a wreck69 was here!—what a change had been wrought70 in the few hours of the past night!—and ever the fateful question returned again and again to trouble him—What had become of Lilith? That she was gone was self-evident,—and he gathered some inkling of the awful truth from his brother’s rambling words. He remembered that El-Râmi had previously71 declared Lilith to be dead, so far as her body was concerned, and only kept apparently72 alive by artificial means;—he could easily imagine it possible for those artificial means to lose their efficacy in the end, ... and then, ... for the girl’s beautiful body to crumble73 into that dissolution which would have been its fate long ago, had Nature had her way. All this he could dimly surmise,—but he had been kept so much in the dark as to the real aim and intention of his brother’s “experiment” that it was not likely he would ever understand everything that had occurred;—so that Lilith’s mysterious evanishment seemed to him like a horrible delusion;—it could not be! he kept on repeating over and over again to himself, and yet it was!
Moving with slow and cautious tread, he got El-Râmi at last into his own study, wondering whether the sight of the familiar objects he was daily accustomed to, would bring him back to a reasonable perception of his surroundings. He waited anxiously, while his brother stood still, shivering slightly and looking about the room with listless, unrecognising eyes. Presently, in a voice that was both weary and petulant74, El-Râmi spoke75.
“You will not leave me alone, I hope?” he said; “I am very old and feeble, and I have done you no wrong,—I do not see why you should leave me to myself. I should be glad if you would stay with me a little while, because everything is at present so strange to me;—I shall no doubt get more accustomed to it in time. You are perhaps not aware that I wished to live through a great many centuries—and my wish was granted;—I have lived longer than any man, especially since She left me,—and now I am growing old, and I am easily tired. I do not know this place at all—is it a World or a Dream?”
At this question, it seemed to Féraz that he heard again, like a silver clarion76 ringing through silence, the mysterious voice that had roused him that morning saying, “Awake, Féraz! To-day dreams end, and life begins!” ... He understood, and he bent his head resignedly,—he knew now what the “life” thus indicated meant;—it meant a sacrificing of all his poetic77 aspirations78, his music, and his fantastic happy visions,—a complete immolation79 of himself and his own desires, for the sake of his brother. His brother, who had once ruled him absolutely, was now to be ruled by him;—helpless as a child, the once self-sufficient and haughty80 El-Râmi was to be dependent for everything upon the very creature who had lately been his slave,—and Féraz, humbly81 reading in these reversed circumstances the Divine Law of Compensation, answered his brother’s plaintive query—“Is it a World or a Dream?” with manful tenderness.
“It is a World,”—he said—“not a Dream, beloved El-Râmi—but a Reality. It is a fair garden belonging to God and the things of God”—he paused, seeing that El-Râmi smiled placidly82 and nodded his head as though he heard pleasant music,—then he went on steadily—“a garden in which immortal spirits wander for a time self-exiled, till they fully68 realise the worth and loveliness of the higher lands they have forsaken83. Do you understand me, O dear and honoured one?—do you understand? None love their home so dearly as those who have left it for a time—and it is only for a time—a short, short time,”—and Féraz, deeply moved by his mingled84 sorrow and affection, kissed and clasped his brother’s hands—“and all the beauty we see here in this beautiful small world, is made to remind us of the greater beauty yonder. We look, as it were, into a little mirror, which reflects, in exquisite85 miniature, the face of Heaven! See!”—and he pointed86 to the brilliant blaze of sunshine that streamed through the window and illumined the whole room—“There is the tiny copy of the larger Light above,—and in that little light the flowers grow, the harvests ripen87, the trees bud, the birds sing, and every living creature rejoices,—but in the other Greater Light, God lives, and angels love and have their being;”—here Féraz broke off abruptly88, wondering if he might risk the utterance89 of the words that next rose involuntarily to his lips, while El-Râmi gazed at him with great wide-open eager eyes like those of a child listening to a fairy story.
“Yes, yes!—what next?” he demanded impatiently—“This is good news you give me;—the angels love, you say, and God lives,—yes!—tell me more, ... more!”
“All angels love and have their being in that Greater Light,”—continued Féraz softly and steadily—“And there too is Lilith—beautiful—deathless,—faithful——”
“True!” cried El-Râmi, with a sort of sobbing cry—“True! ... She is there,—she promised—and I shall know, ... I shall know where to find her after all, for she told me plainly—‘Look for me where the roses are,—there will I stand and wait.’”
He tottered90, and seemed about to fall;—but when Féraz would have supported him, he shook his head, and pointing tremblingly to the amber4 ray of sunshine pouring itself upon the ground:
“Into the light!”—he murmured—“I am all in the dark;—lead me out of the darkness into the light.”
And Féraz led him, where he desired, and seated him in his own chair in the full glory of the morning radiance that rippled91 about him like molten gold, and shone caressingly on his white hair,—his dark face that in its great pallor looked as though it were carved in bronze,—and his black, piteous, wandering eyes. A butterfly danced towards him in the sparkling shower of sunbeams, the same that had flown in an hour before and alighted on the heliotrope92 that adorned93 the centre of the table. El-Râmi’s attention was attracted by it—and he watched its airy flutterings with a pleased, yet vacant smile. Then he stretched out his hands in the golden light, and lifting them upward, clasped them together and closed his eyes.
“Our Father!” ... he murmured; “which art in Heaven! ... Hallowed be Thy Name!”
Féraz, bending heedfully over him, caught the words as they were faintly whispered,—caught the hands as they dropped inert94 from their supplicating95 posture96 and laid them gently back;—then listened again with strained attention, the pitying tears gathering97 thick upon his lashes98.
“Our Father!” ... once more that familiar appeal of kinship to the Divine stole upon the air like a far-off sigh,—then came the sound of regular and quiet breathing;—Nature had shed upon the overtaxed brain her balm of blessed unconsciousness,—and like a tired child, the proud El-Râmi slept.
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1
velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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2
penetrated
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| adj. 击穿的，鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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3
chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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amber
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| n.琥珀；琥珀色；adj.琥珀制的 | |
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5
smitten
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| 猛打，重击，打击( smite的过去分词 ) | |
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6
artery
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| n.干线，要道；动脉 | |
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7
pulsated
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| v.有节奏地舒张及收缩( pulsate的过去式和过去分词 )；跳动；脉动；受（激情）震动 | |
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8
astounding
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| adj.使人震惊的vt.使震惊，使大吃一惊astound的现在分词) | |
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9
hush
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| int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静 | |
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10
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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11
rigid
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| adj.严格的，死板的；刚硬的，僵硬的 | |
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12
maiden
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| n.少女，处女；adj.未婚的，纯洁的，无经验的 | |
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13
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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14
sifted
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| v.筛( sift的过去式和过去分词 )；筛滤；细查；详审 | |
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15
shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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16
shuddering
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| v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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17
dire
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| adj.可怕的，悲惨的，阴惨的，极端的 | |
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aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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enacted
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| 制定（法律），通过（法案）( enact的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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20
catastrophe
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| n.大灾难，大祸 | |
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21
wailing
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| v.哭叫，哀号( wail的现在分词 )；沱 | |
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22
wringing
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| 淋湿的，湿透的 | |
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23
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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24
chafed
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| v.擦热（尤指皮肤）( chafe的过去式 )；擦痛；发怒；惹怒 | |
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25
animation
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| n.活泼，兴奋，卡通片／动画片的制作 | |
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26
gasping
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| adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
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27
wailed
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| v.哭叫，哀号( wail的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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28
wrung
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| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
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29
miserably
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| adv.痛苦地；悲惨地；糟糕地；极度地 | |
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30
slumbering
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| 微睡，睡眠（slumber的现在分词形式） | |
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31
pallid
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| adj.苍白的，呆板的 | |
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32
avenged
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| v.为…复仇，报…之仇( avenge的过去式和过去分词 )；为…报复 | |
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33
huddled
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| 挤在一起（huddle的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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34
heeded
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| v.听某人的劝告，听从( heed的过去式和过去分词 )；变平，使（某物）变平( flatten的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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35
curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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36
vacancy
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| n.（旅馆的）空位，空房，（职务的）空缺 | |
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37
softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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38
caressingly
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| 爱抚地，亲切地 | |
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39
obstruct
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| v.阻隔，阻塞(道路、通道等)；n.阻碍物，障碍物 | |
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40
immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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41
crouching
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的现在分词 ) | |
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42
inquisitiveness
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| 好奇，求知欲 | |
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43
fatigue
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| n.疲劳，劳累 | |
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44
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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45
plaintive
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| adj.可怜的，伤心的 | |
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46
sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣 | |
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47
mechanism
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| n.机械装置；机构，结构 | |
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48
astute
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| adj.机敏的，精明的 | |
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49
defiant
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| adj.无礼的，挑战的 | |
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50
glimmering
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| n.微光，隐约的一瞥adj.薄弱地发光的v.发闪光，发微光( glimmer的现在分词 ) | |
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51
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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52
rambling
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| adj.[建]凌乱的，杂乱的 | |
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53
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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54
soothe
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| v.安慰；使平静；使减轻；缓和；奉承 | |
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55
sobbing
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| <主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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56
catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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57
lighting
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| n.照明，光线的明暗，舞台灯光 | |
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58
hue
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| n.色度；色调；样子 | |
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59
resolutely
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| adj.坚决地，果断地 | |
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crouched
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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shuddered
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| v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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62
permeates
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| 弥漫( permeate的第三人称单数 )； 遍布； 渗入； 渗透 | |
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pervades
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| v.遍及，弥漫( pervade的第三人称单数 ) | |
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immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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abrupt
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| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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dense
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| a.密集的，稠密的，浓密的；密度大的 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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73
crumble
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| vi.碎裂，崩溃；vt.弄碎，摧毁 | |
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petulant
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| adj.性急的，暴躁的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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clarion
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| n.尖音小号声；尖音小号 | |
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poetic
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| adj.富有诗意的，有诗人气质的，善于抒情的 | |
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aspirations
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| 强烈的愿望( aspiration的名词复数 )； 志向； 发送气音； 发 h 音 | |
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immolation
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| n.牺牲品 | |
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haughty
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| adj.傲慢的，高傲的 | |
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humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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placidly
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| adv.平稳地，平静地 | |
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Forsaken
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| adj. 被遗忘的, 被抛弃的 动词forsake的过去分词 | |
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mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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87
ripen
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| vt.使成熟；vi.成熟 | |
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abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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89
utterance
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| n.用言语表达，话语，言语 | |
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tottered
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| v.走得或动得不稳( totter的过去式和过去分词 )；踉跄；蹒跚；摇摇欲坠 | |
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rippled
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| 使泛起涟漪（ripple的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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heliotrope
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| n.天芥菜；淡紫色 | |
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adorned
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| [计]被修饰的 | |
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inert
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| adj.无活动能力的，惰性的；迟钝的 | |
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supplicating
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| v.祈求，哀求，恳求( supplicate的现在分词 ) | |
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posture
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| n.姿势，姿态，心态，态度；v.作出某种姿势 | |
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gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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lashes
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| n.鞭挞( lash的名词复数 )；鞭子；突然猛烈的一击；急速挥动v.鞭打( lash的第三人称单数 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
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