The winter came before Ingeborg, after many false alarms due to her extreme eagerness to give Robert the happiness he wanted, was able to assure him with certainty that he would presently become a father. "And I," she said, looking at him with a kind of surprised awe1 now that it had really come upon her, "I suppose I will be a mother."
Herr Dremmel remarked with dryness that he supposed in that case she would, and refused to become enthusiastic until there was more certainty.
He had been disappointed during the summer so often. Her zeal2 to meet his wishes made her pounce3 upon the slightest little feeling of not being well and run triumphantly4 to his laboratory, daring its locked door, defying its sacredness, to tell him the great news. She would stand there radiantly saying things that sounded like paraphrases5 of the Scripture6, and almost the first German she really learned and used was the German so familiar in every household for being of Good Hope, for being in Blessed Circumstance.
For some time Herr Dremmel greeted these tidings with emotion and excitement; but as the summer went on, he had become so incredulous that she fainted twice in December before he was convinced. Then, indeed, for nearly a whole day his joy was touching7. One cannot, however, keep up such joy, and Ingeborg found that things after this brief upheaval8 of emotion settled back again into how they were before, except that she felt extraordinarily9 and persistently10 ill.
Well, she had had the most wonderful summer; she had got that anyhow tucked away up the sleeve of her memory, and could bring it out and look at it when the days were wet and she felt cold and sick. The summer that year in East Prussia had been a long drought, a long bath of sunshine, and Ingeborg lived out in it in an ecstasy11 of freedom. Her body, light and perfectly12 balanced, did wonders of exploration in the mighty13 forests that began at the north of the Kökensee lake and went on without stopping to the sea. She would get Robert's dinner ready for him early, and then put some bread and butter and a cucumber into a knapsack with her German grammar, and paddle the punt down the lake, tie it up where the trees began, and start. Nothing seemed to tire her. She would walk for miles along the endless forest tracks, just as much suited to her environment, just as harmonious14 and as much a creature of air and sunshine as the white butterflies that fluttered among the enormous pine trunks. Every now and then, for sheer delight in these things, she would throw herself down on the springy delicious carpet of whortleberries and lie still watching the blue-green tops of the pine-trees delicately swaying backwards15 and forwards far away over her head against the serene16 northern sky. They made a gentle sighing noise in the wind. It was the only sound, except the occasional cry of a woodpecker or the cry, immensely distant, of a hawk17.
Nobody but herself seemed to use the forests. It was the rarest thing that she met a woodman, or children picking whortleberries. When she did she was much stared at. The forests were quite out of the beat of tourists or foreigners, and the indigenous18 ladies were too properly occupied by indoor duties to wander, even if they liked forests, away from their home anchorage; and for those whose business sent them into these lonely places to come across somebody belonging to the class that can have dinner every day regularly in a house if it likes and to the sex that ought to be there cooking, it was an amazement19.
The young lady, however, seemed so happy that they all smiled at her when she looked at them. They supposed she must be some one grown white in a town, and come to stay the summer weeks with one of the Crown foresters. That would explain her detachment from duty, her knapsack, and the colour of her skin. Anyhow, just her passing made their dull day interesting; and they would watch her glinting in and out of the trees till at last, hardly distinguishable from one of the white butterflies, the distance took her.
When she was quite hot she would sit down in a carefully chosen spot where, if possible, a deciduous20 tree, a maple21 or a bird cherry, splashed its vivid green exquisitely22 against the peculiar23 misty24 bloom of pink and grey that hung about the pine trunks, a tree that looked quite little down among these giants, hardly as if it reached to their knees, and yet when she stood under it it was almost as big as the lime-trees in the Kökensee garden. She did not sit in its shade; she went some distance away where she could look at it quivering in the light, and leaning her back against a pine-tree she would eat her bread and cucumber and feel utterly25 filled with the love and glory of God.
Impossible to reason about this feeling. It was there. It seemed in that summer to go with her where-ever she went and whatever she did. She walked in blessing26. It was in the light, she thought, looking round her, the wonderful light, the soft radiance of the forest; it was in the air, warm and fresh, scented27 and pungent28; it was in the feel of the pine needles and the dry crisp last year's cones29 she crushed as she went along; it was in the cushions of moss30 so green and cool that she stopped to pat them, or in the hot lichen31 that came off in flakes32 when her feet brushed a root; it was in being young and healthy and having had one's dinner and sitting quiet and getting rested and knowing the hours ahead were roomy; it was in all these things, everywhere and in everything. She would pick up her German grammar in a quick desire to do something in return, something that gave her real trouble—shall one not say somehow Thank you?—and she engulfed33 huge tracts35 of it on these expeditions, learning pages of it by heart and repeating them aloud to the pine-trees and the woodpeckers.
When the sun began to go down she set out for home, sometimes losing her way for quite a long while, and then she would hurry because of Robert's supper, and then she would get very hot; and the combined heat and hurry and cucumber, to which presently was added fatigue36, would end in one of those triumphal appearances later on in his laboratory to which he was growing so much accustomed.
In January, when she was just a sick thing, she thought of these days as something too beautiful to have really happened.
There was from the first no shyness about her on the subject of babies. She had not considered it during her life at home, for babies were never mentioned at the Palace—of course, she thought, remembering this omission37, because there were none, and it would be as meaningless to talk about babies when there were none as it would be in Kökensee to talk about bishops38 when there were none. She arrived, therefore, at Kökensee with her mind a blank from prejudice, and finding the atmosphere thick with babies immediately with her usual uninquiring pliability40 adopted the prevailing41 attitude and was not shy either.
The neighbourhood did not wait till they were born to talk about its own children. It did not think of its children as unmentionable until they had been baptised into decency42 by birth. They were important things, the most important of all in the life of the women, and it was natural to discuss them thoroughly43. The childless woman was a pitied creature. The woman who had most children was proudest. She might be poor and tormented44 by them, but it was something she possessed45 more of than her neighbours. Ilse had early inquired which room would be the nursery. That obvious pattern of respectability, Baroness46 Glambeck, talked of births with a detail and interest only second to that with which she talked of deaths. It seemed to her a most proper topic of conversation with any young married woman; and on her returning the Dremmel call a fortnight after it had been made she was quite taken aback and annoyed to find it had become irrelevant48 owing to Ingeborg's being perfectly well.
Indeed, this failure of Ingeborg's entirely49 spoilt the visit. The Baroness, who had arrived friendly, withdrew into frost with the manner of one who felt she had been thawed50 on the last occasion on false pretences51. Impossible to meet one's pastor52's wife—and such an odd-looking and free-mannered one, too—with any familiarity except on the Christian53 footing of impending54 birth or death. A pastor's wife belonged to the class one is only really pleasant with in suffering or guilt55. Offended, yet forced to continue the call, the Baroness confined such conversation as she made to questions that had a flavour of hostility56: where was it possible to get such shoes, and did the Frau Pastor think toes so narrow good for the circulation and the housework?
Ingeborg could not believe this was the motherly lady who had fussed round her bed that day at Glambeck. She felt set away at a great distance from her, on the other side of a gulf34. For the first time it was borne in upon her that her marriage made a difference to her socially, that here in Germany the gulf was a wide one. She was a pastor's wife; and when asked about her family, which happened early and searchingly in the call, could only give an impression of more pastors57.
"Ah, that is the same as what we call superintendent," said the Baroness, nodding several times slowly on learning that Ingeborg's father was a bishop39; and after a series of questions as to the Frau Pastor's sister's marriage nodded her head slowly several times again, and informed Ingeborg that what her sister had married was a schoolmaster. "Like Herr Schultz," said the Baroness—Herr Schultz being the village schoolmaster.
There was a photograph of Judith on the table that caught and kept the Baroness's eye and also, in an even greater but more careful degree, the Baron47's. It was Judith dressed in evening beauty, bare-necked, perfect.
Ingeborg took it up with a natural pride in having such a lovely thing for her very own sister and handed it to the Baroness.
"Here she is," said Ingeborg, full of natural pride.
The Baroness stared in real consternation58.
"What?" she said. "This is a schoolmaster's wife? This is our pastor's sister-in-law? I had thought—"
She broke off, and with a firm gesture put the photograph on the table again and said she could not stay to supper.
Since then there had been no intercourse59 with Glambeck, and the Baroness did not know of the satisfactory turn things had taken at the parsonage till on Christmas Eve, from her gallery in church to which she and the Baron had decided60 to return on the greater festivals as a mark of their awareness61 that Herr Dremmel desired to make amends62, she beheld63 during the drawn-out verses of the chorale Ingeborg drop sideways on the seat in her pew below and remain motionless and bunched up, her hymn-book pushed crooked64 on the desk in front of her, and her attitude one of complete indifference65 to appearances.
The Baroness did not nudge the Baron, because in her position one does not nudge, but her instinct was all for nudging.
Herr Dremmel could not see what had happened, custom concealing66 him during the singing in a wooden box at the foot of the pulpit where he was busy imagining agricultural experiments. Till he came out the singing went on; and suppose, thought the Baroness, he were to forget to come out? Once he had forgotten, she had heard, and had stayed in his box, having very unfortunately been visited there by a revelation concerning potash that caught him up into oblivion for the best part of an hour, during which the chorale was gone through with an increasing faintness fifteen times. She knew about the hour, but did not know it was potash. Suppose he once again fell into a meditation67? There was no verger, beadle, pew-opener, or official person of any sort to take action. The congregation would do nothing that was outside the customary and the prescribed. There was no female relative such as the Frau Pastor would have had staying with her over Christmas if she had been what she ought to have been, and what every other pastor's wife so felicitously68 was, a German. And for her herself to descend69 and help in the eyes of all Kökensee would have been too great a condescension70, besides involving her in difficulties with the wife of the forester, and the wife of the Glambeck schoolmaster, who was also the postman, both of whom were of the same social standing71 as the younger Frau Dremmel and would jealously resent the least mark of what they would interpret as special favour.
Herr Dremmel, however, came out punctually and went up into the pulpit and opened his well-worn manuscript and read out the well-known text, and the congregation sat as nearly thrilled as it could be waiting for the moment when his eye would fall on to his own pew and what was in it. Would he interrupt the service to go down and carry his wife out? Would the congregation have to wait till he came back again, or would it be allowed to disperse72 to its Christmas trees and rejoicings?
Herr Dremmel read on and on, expounding73 the innocent Christmas story, describing its white accessories of flocks and angels and virgins74 and stars with the thunderous vehemence75 near scolding that had become a habit with him when he preached. His text was Peace on earth, goodwill76 among men, and from custom he hit his desk with his clenched77 fist while he read it out and hurled78 it at his congregation as if it were a threat.
He did not look in his wife's direction. He was not thinking of her at all. He wondered a little at the stillness and attention of his listeners. Nobody coughed. Nobody shuffled79. The school children hung over the edge of the organ loft80, motionless and intent. Baron Glambeck remained awake.
At the end of the service Herr Dremmel had to stay according to custom in his wooden box till every one had gone, and it was not till he came out of that to go through the church to its only door that he perceived Ingeborg. For a moment he thought she was waiting for him in an attitude of inappropriately childish laxity, and he was about to rebuke81 her when it flashed upon him that she had fainted, that it was the second time in ten days, and that he was indeed and without any doubt at last the happiest of men.
In spite of the bitter wind that was raking the churchyard every person who had been inside the church was waiting outside to see the pastor come out. The Glambecks and elders of the church would have waited in any case on Christmas Eve to wish him the compliments of the season and receive his in return, but on this occasion they waited with pleasure as well as patience, and the rest of the congregation waited, too.
They were rewarded by seeing him presently appear in the doorway82 in his gown and bands carrying the bundle that was the still unconscious Frau Pastor as if she were a baby, his face illuminated83 with joy and pride. It was as entertaining as a funeral. Double congratulations were poured upon him, double and treble handshakes of the hand he protruded84 for the purpose from beneath Ingeborg's relaxed body, and his spectacles as he responded were misty, to the immense gratification of the crowd, with happy tears.
This was the first popular thing Ingeborg had done since her arrival. She could not if she had planned it out with all her care and wits have achieved anything more dramatically ingratiating. The day was the most appropriate day in the whole year. It had been well worth waiting, thought her overjoyed Robert, in order to receive such a Christmas gift. The Baroness, who with the Baron was most cordial, felt flattered, as if—only of course less perfectly, for she herself had produced her children in actual time for the tree—her example had been taken to heart and followed. The village was deeply gratified to see an unconscious Frau Pastor carried through its midst, and her limp body had all the prestige of a corpse85. Everybody was moved and pleased; and when Ingeborg, after much persuasion86, woke up to the world again on the sofa of the parsonage parlour it was to live through the happiest day she had yet had in her life, the day of Robert's greatest joy in her and devotion and care and pride and petting.
Once more and for this day she outstripped87 the fertilizers in interest, and the laboratory was a place forgotten. She was pampered88. She lay on the sofa, feeling quite well again, but staying obediently on it because he told her to and she loved him to care, watching him with happy eyes as he tremendously hovered89. He finished the arranging of the tree for her and fixed90 the candles on it, interrupting himself every now and then to come and kiss her hands and pat her. Beams seemed to proceed from him and penetrate91 into the remotest corners. In a land where all homes were glowing that Christmas night this little home glowed the brightest. The candles of the tree shone down on Ingeborg curled up in the sofa corner, talking and laughing gaily92, but with an infinitely93 proud and solemn gladness in her heart that at last he believed, that at last she was fairly started on the road of the Higher Duty, that at last she was going to be able to do something back, something in return for all this happiness that had come to her through and because of him.
Ilse was called in, and came very rosy94 and shining from careful washing to be given her presents. There were surprises for Ingeborg—she had to shut her eyes while they were arranged—that touched and astonished her, so totally blind had Robert seemed to be for weeks past to anything outside his work—a pot of hyacinths twisted about with pink crinkly paper and satin bows that he must have got with immense difficulty and elaborate precautions to prevent her seeing it, a volume of Heine's poetry, a pair of fur gloves, a silver curb95 bracelet96, and a smiling pig of marzipan with a label round its neck, Ich bringe Glück. She, not realising what a German Christmas meant, had only a cigar-case for him; and when, her lap full of his presents and her wrist decorated with the bracelet in which he showed an honest pride, carefully explaining the trick of its fastening and assuring her it was real silver and that little women, he well knew, liked being hung with these barbaric splendours, she put her arm round his neck and apologised for her dreadful ignorance of custom and want of imagination and solitary97, unsurprising, miserable98 cigar-case—when she did this, with her cheek laid on his furry99 head, he drew her very close to him and blessed her, blessed her his little wife and that greatest of gifts that she was bringing him.
Both of them had wet eyes when this blessing, solemnly administered and received, was over. It was done in the presence of Ilse, who looked on benevolently100 and at the end came and shook their hands and joined to her thanks for what she had been given her congratulations on the happy event of the coming summer.
"July," said Ilse, after a moment's reflection. "We must furnish that room," she added.
Ingeborg felt as though her very bones were soft with love.
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1
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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pounce
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| n.猛扑；v.猛扑，突然袭击，欣然同意 | |
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4
triumphantly
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| ad.得意洋洋地；得胜地；成功地 | |
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paraphrases
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| n.释义，意译( paraphrase的名词复数 )v.释义，意译( paraphrase的第三人称单数 ) | |
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6
scripture
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| n.经文，圣书，手稿；Scripture:(常用复数)《圣经》，《圣经》中的一段 | |
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7
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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8
upheaval
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| n.胀起，(地壳)的隆起；剧变，动乱 | |
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9
extraordinarily
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| adv.格外地；极端地 | |
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10
persistently
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| ad.坚持地；固执地 | |
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ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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harmonious
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| adj.和睦的，调和的，和谐的，协调的 | |
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backwards
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| adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地 | |
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16
serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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hawk
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| n.鹰，骗子；鹰派成员 | |
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indigenous
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| adj.土产的，土生土长的，本地的 | |
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amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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deciduous
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| adj.非永久的；短暂的；脱落的；落叶的 | |
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maple
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| n.槭树，枫树，槭木 | |
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exquisitely
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| adv.精致地；强烈地；剧烈地；异常地 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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misty
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| adj.雾蒙蒙的，有雾的 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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scented
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| adj.有香味的；洒香水的；有气味的v.嗅到(scent的过去分词) | |
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28
pungent
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| adj.（气味、味道）刺激性的，辛辣的；尖锐的 | |
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29
cones
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| n.（人眼）圆锥细胞；圆锥体( cone的名词复数 )；球果；圆锥形东西；（盛冰淇淋的）锥形蛋卷筒 | |
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moss
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| n.苔，藓，地衣 | |
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lichen
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| n.地衣, 青苔 | |
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32
flakes
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| 小薄片( flake的名词复数 )； （尤指）碎片； 雪花； 古怪的人 | |
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engulfed
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| v.吞没，包住( engulf的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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gulf
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| n.海湾；深渊，鸿沟；分歧，隔阂 | |
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tracts
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| 大片土地( tract的名词复数 )； 地带； （体内的）道； （尤指宣扬宗教、伦理或政治的）短文 | |
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fatigue
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| n.疲劳，劳累 | |
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omission
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| n.省略，删节；遗漏或省略的事物，冗长 | |
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bishops
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| （基督教某些教派管辖大教区的）主教( bishop的名词复数 )； （国际象棋的）象 | |
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bishop
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| n.主教，（国际象棋）象 | |
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40
pliability
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| n.柔韧性；可弯性 | |
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prevailing
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| adj.盛行的；占优势的；主要的 | |
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42
decency
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| n.体面，得体，合宜，正派，庄重 | |
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43
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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tormented
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| 饱受折磨的 | |
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45
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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46
baroness
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| n.男爵夫人，女男爵 | |
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47
baron
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| n.男爵；(商业界等)巨头，大王 | |
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48
irrelevant
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| adj.不恰当的，无关系的，不相干的 | |
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49
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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50
thawed
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| 解冻 | |
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51
pretences
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| n.假装( pretence的名词复数 )；作假；自命；自称 | |
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52
pastor
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| n.牧师，牧人 | |
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53
Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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54
impending
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| a.imminent, about to come or happen | |
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55
guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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56
hostility
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| n.敌对，敌意；抵制［pl.］交战，战争 | |
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pastors
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| n.（基督教的）牧师( pastor的名词复数 ) | |
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58
consternation
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| n.大为吃惊，惊骇 | |
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59
intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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60
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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61
awareness
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| n.意识，觉悟，懂事，明智 | |
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62
amends
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| n. 赔偿 | |
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beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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crooked
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| adj.弯曲的；不诚实的，狡猾的，不正当的 | |
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indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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concealing
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的现在分词 ) | |
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meditation
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| n.熟虑，（尤指宗教的）默想，沉思，（pl.）冥想录 | |
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felicitously
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| adv.恰当地，适切地 | |
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descend
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| vt./vi.传下来，下来，下降 | |
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condescension
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| n.自以为高人一等，贬低(别人) | |
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71
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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72
disperse
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| vi.使分散；使消失；vt.分散；驱散 | |
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expounding
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| 论述，详细讲解( expound的现在分词 ) | |
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74
virgins
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| 处女，童男( virgin的名词复数 )； 童贞玛利亚（耶稣之母） | |
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75
vehemence
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| n.热切；激烈；愤怒 | |
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goodwill
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| n.善意，亲善，信誉，声誉 | |
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clenched
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| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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hurled
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| v.猛投，用力掷( hurl的过去式和过去分词 )；大声叫骂 | |
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shuffled
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| v.洗（纸牌）( shuffle的过去式和过去分词 )；拖着脚步走；粗心地做；摆脱尘世的烦恼 | |
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80
loft
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| n.阁楼，顶楼 | |
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81
rebuke
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| v.指责，非难，斥责 [反]praise | |
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doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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illuminated
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| adj.被照明的；受启迪的 | |
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84
protruded
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| v.（使某物）伸出，（使某物）突出( protrude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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85
corpse
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| n.尸体，死尸 | |
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persuasion
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| n.劝说；说服；持有某种信仰的宗派 | |
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outstripped
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| v.做得比…更好，（在赛跑等中）超过( outstrip的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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88
pampered
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| adj.饮食过量的，饮食奢侈的v.纵容，宠，娇养( pamper的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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hovered
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| 鸟( hover的过去式和过去分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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90
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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penetrate
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| v.透(渗)入；刺入，刺穿；洞察，了解 | |
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gaily
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| adv.欢乐地，高兴地 | |
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infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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curb
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| n.场外证券市场，场外交易；vt.制止，抑制 | |
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bracelet
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| n.手镯，臂镯 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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98
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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furry
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| adj.毛皮的；似毛皮的；毛皮制的 | |
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100
benevolently
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| adv.仁慈地，行善地 | |
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