"Wherefore and whence we are ye cannot know."
"The Winds' Song," Light of Asia.—Edwin Arnold
The first thing that little Gratian Conyfer could remember in his life was hearing the wind blow. It had hushed him to sleep, it had scolded him when he was naughty, it had laughed with him at merry times, it had wailed1 and sobbed2 when he was in sorrow.
For the wind has many ways of blowing, and no one knew this better than Gratian, and no one had more right to boast an intimate acquaintance with the wind than he. You would be sure to say so yourself if you could see the place where the boy was born and bred—"Four Winds Farm."
It had not come by this name without reason, though no one still living when Gratian was a boy, could tell how long it had borne it, or by whom it[Pg 2] had been bestowed3. I wish I could take you there—were it but for five minutes, were it even in a dream. I wish I could make you feel what I can fancy I feel myself when I think of it—the wonderful fresh breath on one's face even on a calm day standing4 at the door of the farm-house, the sense of life and mischief5 and wild force about you, though held in check for the moment, the knowledge that the wind—the winds rather, all four of them, are there somewhere, hidden or pretending to be asleep, maybe, but ready all the same to burst out at a moment's notice. And when they do burst out—on a blowy day that is to say—ah then, I wouldn't advise you to stand at the farm-house door, unless you want to be hurled6 out of the way more unceremoniously than you bargained for.
It was a queer site perhaps to have chosen for a dwelling-place. Up among the moors8 that stretched for miles and miles on all sides, on such lofty ground that it was no wonder the trees refused to grow high, for it was hard work enough to grow at all, poor things, and to keep their footing when they had done so. They did look battered9 about and storm-tossed—all except the pines, who are used to that kind of life, I suppose, and did their duty manfully[Pg 3] as sentinels on guard round the old brown house, in which, as I said, the boy Gratian first opened his baby eyes to the light.
Since that day nine winters and summers had passed. He was called a big boy now. He slept alone in a room away up a little stair by itself in a corner—an outside corner—of the farm-house. He walked, three miles there and three miles back, to school every day, carrying his books and his dinner in a satchel10, along a road that would have seemed lonely and dreary11 to any but a moorland child—a road indeed that was little but a sheep-track the best part of the way. He spent his evenings in a corner of the large straggling kitchen, so quiet that no one would have guessed a child, above all a boy, was there; his holidays, the fine weather ones at least, out on the moor7 among the heather for the most part, in the company of Jonas the old shepherd, and Watch the collie dog. But he never thought his life lonely, though he had neither brother nor sister, and no one schoolfellow among the score or so at the village school that was more to him than another; he never thought about himself at all in that sort of way; he took for granted that all about him was as it should be, and if things seemed wrong sometimes[Pg 4] he had the good sense to think it was very probably his own fault.
But he found things puzzling; he was a child who thought a great deal more than he spoke12; he would not have been so puzzled if he had had more of the habit of putting his thoughts into words. Hitherto it had not seemed to matter much, life had been a simple affair, and what he did not understand he forgot about. But lately, quite lately, he had changed; his soul was beginning to grow, perhaps that was it, and felt now and then as if it wanted new clothes, and the feeling was strange. And then it isn't everybody who is born and bred where the four winds of heaven meet!
What was Gratian thinking of one Sunday evening when, quiet as usual, he sat in his corner? He had been at church and at the Sunday School; but I am afraid he could not have told you much about the sermon, and in his class he had been mildly reproved for inattention.
"You must go to bed," said his mother; "it is quite time, and you seem sleepy."
The boy rose and came round to the table at which sat his father and mother, each with a big book which Gratian knew well by sight—for it was[Pg 5] only on Sunday evenings that the farmer and his wife had time for reading, and their books lasted them a good while. In fact they had been reading them fifty-two evenings of each year ever since the boy could recollect13, and the marks, of perforated cardboard on green ribbon—his father's bore the words "Remember me," and his mother's "Forget me not"—which once, before he could read, he had regarded with mysterious awe14, did not seem to him to have moved on many pages.
He stood at the table for a moment before his mother looked up; he was vaguely15 wondering to himself if he too would have a big book with a green ribbon-marker when he should be as old as his father and mother; did everybody? he felt half-inclined to ask his mother, but before he had decided16 if he should, she scattered17 his thoughts by glancing up at him quickly. She was quick and alert in everything she said and did, except perhaps in reading.
"Good-night, Gratian. Get quickly to bed, my boy."
"Good-night, mother, good-night, father," he said, as his mother kissed him, and his father laid his hand on the child's curly head with a kindly18 gesture which he only used on Sunday evenings.
[Pg 6]
"Gratian is in one of his dreams again," said the mother, when the little figure had disappeared.
"Ay," said her husband, "it's to be hoped he'll grow out of it, but he's young yet."
Gratian had stopped a moment on his way across the red-tiled passage, at one end of which was the white stone staircase; he stopped at the front door which stood slightly ajar, and stepped out into the porch. It was autumn, but early autumn only. Something of the fragrance19 of a summer night was still about, but there was not the calm and restfulness of the summer; on the contrary, there was a stirring and a murmuring, and the clouds overhead were scudding21 hurriedly before the moon, as if she were scolding them and they in a hurry to escape, thought Gratian; for there was a certain fretfulness in her air—a disquiet22 and unsettledness which struck him.
"Either she is angry and they are running away, or—perhaps that is it—she is sending them messages as fast as they can take them, like the rooks after they have been having a long talk together," he said to himself. Then as a figure came round the side of the house on its way to what was really the kitchen—though the big room which Gratian had just left[Pg 7] went by the name—"Jonas," said the child aloud, "is there anything the matter up in the sky to-night?"
The old shepherd stood still; he rested the empty milkpail he was carrying on the ground, and gazed up to where Gratian was pointing.
"I cannot say," he answered, "but the summer is gone, little master. Up here the winter comes betimes, we must look for the storms and the tempests again before long."
"But not yet, oh not just yet, Jonas; I can't think why they don't get tired of fighting and rushing about and tearing each other—the winds and the rain and the clouds and all of them up there. Listen, Jonas, what is that?"
For a faint, low breath came round the end of the house like a long drawn23 sigh, yet with something of menace in its tone.
"Ah yes, Master Gratian. It's the winter spirit looking round a bit as I said. They'll be at it to-night, I fancy—just a spree to keep their hands in as it were. But go to bed, little master, and dream of the summer. There'll be some fine days yet awhile," and old Jonas lifted the pail again. "Madge must give this a scalding before milking time to-morrow[Pg 8] morning, careless wench that she is," he said in a half-grumbling tone as he disappeared.
And Gratian climbed upstairs to bed.
He had a candle, and matches to light it with, in his room, but the moonlight was so bright, though fitful, that he thought it better than any candle. He undressed, not quickly as his mother had told him, I fear, standing at the curtainless window and staring out, up rather, where the clouds were still fussing about "as if they were dusting the moon's face," said Gratian to himself, laughing softly at this new fancy. And even after he was in bed he peeped out from time to time to watch the queer shadows and gleams, the quickly following light and darkness that flitted across the white walls of his little room. It was only an attic24, but I think almost any little boy would have thought it a nice room. Mrs. Conyfer kept it beautifully clean to begin with, and there was a fireplace, and a good cupboard in the wall, and a splendid view of moor and sky from the window. Gratian was very proud of his room; he had only had it a short time, only since the day he was nine years old, and it made him feel he was really growing a big boy. But to-night he was hardly in his usual good spirits. It weighed on his mind[Pg 9] that the teacher at the Sunday School had been displeased25 with him; for he knew him to be kind and patient, and Gratian liked to win his smile of approval.
"It is always the same with me," thought the little boy, "at school every day too I am the stupidest. I wish there were no lessons in the world. I wish there were only birds, and lambs, and hills, and moors, and the wind—most of all the wind, and no books—no books, and——"
But here he fell asleep!
When he woke the room was quite dark; the clouds had hung their dusters over the moon's face by mistake perhaps, or else she had got tired of shining and had turned in for a nap, thought Gratian sleepily. He shut his eyes again, and curled himself round the other way, and would have been asleep again in half a minute, but for a sound which suddenly reached his ears. Some one was talking near him! Gratian opened his eyes again, forgetting that that could not help him to hear, and listened. Yes, it was a voice—two voices; he heard one stop and the other reply, and now and then they seemed to be talking together, and gradually as he listened he discovered that they came from the direction of[Pg 10] the fireplace. Could it be the voices of his father and mother coming up from below, through the chimney, somehow? No, their voices were not so strangely soft and sadly sweet; besides their room was not under his, nor did they ever talk in the middle of the night.
"They are too sleepy for that," thought Gratian with a little smile. For the farmer and his wife were very hard-working, and even on Sunday they were tired. It was a long walk to church, and unless the weather were very bad they always went twice.
Gratian listened again, more intently than ever. The voices went on; he could distinguish the different tones—more than two he began to fancy. But how provoking it was; he could not catch the words. And from the strain of listening he almost began to fall asleep again, when at last—yes, there was no doubt of it now—he caught the sound of his own name.
"Gratian, Gra—tian," in a very soft inquiring tone; "ye—es, he is a good boy on the whole, but he is foolish too. He is wasting his time."
"Sadly so—sad—ly so—o," hummed back the second voice. "He only dreams—dreams are very well in their way, they are a beginning sometimes, so—me—ti—imes.[Pg 11] But he will never do anything even with his dreams unless he works too—wo—orks too."
"Ah no—no—o. All must work save the will-o'-the-wisps, and what good are they? What good are the—ey?"
Then the two, or the three, maybe even the four, Gratian could not be sure but that there were perhaps four, voices seemed all to hum together, "What good are the—ey?" Till with a sudden rushing call one broke in with a new cry.
"Sisters," it said, "we must be off. Our work awai—aits us, awai—aits us."
And softly they all faded away, or was it perhaps that Gratian fell asleep?
He woke the next morning with a confused remembrance of what he had heard, and for some little time he could not distinguish how much he had dreamt from what had reached his ears before he fell asleep. For all through the night a vague feeling had haunted him of the soft, humming murmur20, and two or three times when he half woke and turned on his side, he seemed to hear again the last echoes of the voices in the chimney.
"But it couldn't have been them," he said to himself as he sat up in his little bed, his hands clasped[Pg 12] round his knees, as he was very fond of sitting; "they said they were going away to their work. What work could they have—voices, just voices in the chimney? And they said I was wasting my time. What did they mean? I'm not like a will-o'-the-wisp; I don't dance about and lead people into bogs26. I——"
But just then his mother's voice sounded up the stairs.
"Gratian—aren't you up yet? Father is out, and the breakfast will be ready in ten minutes. Quick, quick, my boy."
Gratian started; he put one pink foot out of bed and looked at it as if he had never seen five toes before, then he put out the other, and at last found himself altogether on the floor. It was rather a chilly27 morning, and he was only allowed cold water in a queer old tub that he could remember being dreadfully afraid of when he was a very little boy—it had seemed so big to him then. But he was not so babyish now; he plunged28 bravely into the old tub, and the shock of the cold completely awakened29 him, so that he looked quite bright and rosy30 when he came into the kitchen a few minutes later.
His mother looked up from the pot of oatmeal[Pg 13] porridge she was ladling out into little bowls for the breakfast.
"That's right," she said; "you look better than you did last night. Try and have a good day at school to-day, Gratian. Monday's always the best day for a fresh start."
Gratian listened, but did not answer. It generally took him a good while to get his speeches ready, except perhaps when he was alone with Jonas and Watch. It seemed easier to him to speak to Jonas than to anybody else. He began eating his porridge—slowly, porridge and milk spoonfuls turn about, staring before him as he did so.
"Mother," he said at last, "is it naughty to dream?"
"Naughty to dream," repeated his mother, "what do you mean? To dream when you're asleep?"
"No—I don't think it's that kind," began the child, but his mother interrupted him. Her own words of the night before returned to her mind. Could Gratian have overheard them?
"You mean dreaming when you should be working, perhaps?" she said. "Well, yes—without saying it's naughty, it's certainly not good. It's wasting one's time. Everybody's got work to do in this[Pg 14] world, and it needs all one's attention. You'll find it out for yourself, but it's a good thing to find it out young. Most things are harder to learn old than young, Gratian."
Gratian listened, but again without speaking.
"It's very queer," he was thinking to himself—"mother says the same thing."
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1
wailed
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| v.哭叫，哀号( wail的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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2
sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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3
bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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4
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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5
mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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6
hurled
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| v.猛投，用力掷( hurl的过去式和过去分词 )；大声叫骂 | |
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7
moor
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| n.荒野，沼泽；vt.(使)停泊；vi.停泊 | |
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8
moors
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| v.停泊，系泊（船只）( moor的第三人称单数 ) | |
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9
battered
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| adj.磨损的；v.连续猛击；磨损 | |
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10
satchel
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| n.(皮或帆布的)书包 | |
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11
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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12
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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13
recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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14
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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15
vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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16
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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17
scattered
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| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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18
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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19
fragrance
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| n.芬芳，香味，香气 | |
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20
murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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21
scudding
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| n.刮面v.（尤指船、舰或云彩）笔直、高速而平稳地移动( scud的现在分词 ) | |
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22
disquiet
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| n.担心，焦虑 | |
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23
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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attic
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| n.顶楼，屋顶室 | |
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25
displeased
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| a.不快的 | |
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26
bogs
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| n.沼泽，泥塘( bog的名词复数 )；厕所v.（使）陷入泥沼， （使）陷入困境( bog的第三人称单数 )；妨碍，阻碍 | |
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27
chilly
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| adj.凉快的，寒冷的 | |
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28
plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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29
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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